Bedrest

Having been on bed rest, I sympathize with you. It was very hard for me. My mom came to help for a month (I had three kids at the time). This is when I started accepting help from people when they offered (anything from a dinner to watching my kids for a few hours).

I found that my kids learned how to act on the bed (no jumping) really quick. I would spend 10-15 minutes with them usually in the morning and then again in the afternoon, reading books, snuggling, or singing. This worked well for them to not feel "abandoned" all of the sudden.

For me I had a couple of friends who brought over a ton of books and I read all the time. I only got up to go for a 10 minutes walk in the morning and evenings (doctor's order) and once a week to do a "sit down" date with my husband (movie or dinner)again my doctor's orders.

If you are able to have someone help with watching your son, it will be much less stress for you.

Good luck, right now I am 30 weeks and am borderline on bed rest. The doctor has not ordered it, but I get contractions so bad I have to lay down for them to stop. I dread having to be there all the time, so I am trying real hard to take it easy.

During my 2nd pregnancy, I was on bedrest from 22 weeks on. I also had a two year old and what we had to do was hire a part-time sitter. Not sure if this fits into your budget, but two year olds need constant supervision.

one idea that someone gave me when i was put on bedrest with our 3rd at 26 weeks was gathering up all the loose photographs that you have and put them in an album it wont pass time for weeks but its something to do!

hope it helps

I had bedrest with all three of my pregnancies and it is hard when you have a younger child needing your attention. I tried to read / read to my younger child, get some coloring books or paper and make crafts. It can be difficult with the age, but don't set your sights on making a perfect craft...just mess around and you'll love what you get.
I tried to work on scrapbooks, but the medicine I was on made me too jumpy but if you feel up to it that might be an idea.
Try to make your child your special helper...if he feels like it is his job to help you then you might have an easier time getting him to do things for you and listen to you. Good luck!

Hi, I hope everything goes well for you and everyone will be healthy. In the mean time, you could try a jar next to where you are resting and have some colorful pom pom balls or marbles or whatever you think will work. Everytime your 2 year old listens, then you can have him put some balls in the jar. Tell him if it fills up then he can have a treat (up to you what you want that to be). It may take a few times for him to understand, but color and somthing tangible may work. Have him put quite a few balls in the jar and make the reward after a day or two days...the younger the child, the shorter term the reward should be.

Hi T.,

Don't know the particulars of your pre-term labor but...
Water is a GREAT relaxer when it comes to preterm contractions. Take a nice bath (depending on how severe your bed rest is) and DRINK that water. Several times throughout this last pregnancy I sort of "warded off" some more intense contractions this way. The pool was a big help. I just stayed in there and relaxed till they went away.

As far as your son, I think the mom who suggested a schedule has the right idea. If you can't afford a regular sitter, maybe you could get a little mother's helper - like a friend's younger daughter - just to PLAY with your son.

I'll be praying for you. My sister went through this with both her pregnancies at 27-28 weeks (for one she spent three weeks in the hospital) and I remember how frustrated she was.

M.

Hey,
I feel for you. I didn't have another child yet when I was put on bedrest, and it was kind of moderate bedrest, but I do remember sometimes feeling frustrated and depressed, like my wonderful life was just on pause.
One thing that helepd a lot, and it sounds really silly, but I kept a journal of things I "accomplished" while on bedrest. I wrote down all the books I'd always wanted to read and finally had a chance to, all the movies I watched, etc. It was nice to know I was at least getting to do those things I'd always wanted to "when I got a chance..." I also spent a lot of time writing notes of encouragement to family and people at church. It kept me thinking about others instead of wrapped up in myself. My family was so awesome at taking care of meals and laundry. I hope it all turns out well for you.

If you are interested, there are natural methods to prevent and often reverse preterm labor. You can send me a private message if you would like more information on that.

HI T.,
I'm a pediatric chiropractor and I've seen this happen very frequently with women with a history of a fall on their butt. The fall might have happened when you were young...it doesn't matter. The tip of your sacrum might be pushing forward and to the body it feels like it is the head of your baby causing the premature contractions. This can be corrected easily with a maneuver called the Buckled Sacrum. There are many pediatric chiropractors that use this and you might be able to find a massage therapist who can do this as well. It is VERY safe and gentle. It clears up the premature contractions immediately...usually after one treatment.

I was put on bed rest for 4 months with my 2nd. I would suggest knitting, or something to do with your hands. This requires that you focus on the task at hand and not on the fact that you're in bed.

Are you alone with your two year old? If so I would look into a mother's helper. If you can't do that, ask at your church for some help, or see about taking him to a preschool or a private daycare where may be you can work off (barter) the fee after the new baby is born. maybe have Dad drop him off in the am and have a friend bring him home later.

A two yr old is picking up clues everyday from life. He thinks that having you in bed is the new normal. So he's testing you and will continue to do that, because that's the developmental stage he is in.

If you have no other choices and need to take care of him yourself then have your husband set up a little "preschool" in the room at night when the child is asleep, so he doesn't interfere. I would package up projects into small boxes so they aren't all over the room and he can't see them and ask for them all day long and bring them out one by one all day long. This may be a time when videos are okay so everyone remains sane. You can break the habit later after the baby is born.

With regard to discipline. I would close the door and lock it so he can't get out and possibly designate an area where he has to sit when he doesn't listen. Then when he needs to listen try lowering your voice down a bit and use the deeper place in your throat, you know the really firm voice.
Don't yell, he will stop listening to that. Use fewer words and the deep tone and tell him to sit DOWN until he is ready to listen to mommy. You may have to get up the first few times to show him you mean business, but he will get it and sooner rather than later respond to your firm tone and lower voice because they are different than your normal loving voice.

Good Luck. S. from ProActive Parenting dot net

I have never been placed on bed rest but I hope you have help! That would be hard. I have 3 kids and with my 3rd had some early contractions and I just prayed never to be placed on bed rest because I don't have help! LOL Good luck its a hard time for you guys....

T. I have been in your shoes two times. The first time my son was almost 2 when I was put on bed rest and the second time my son was 3.5 and my daughter was 18 months. I pray that you have someone to care for him while you're supposed to be resting but understand that that isn't possible all the time, so... since bed rest isnt easy with kids. I would try to make a schedule for yourself, say from 7-8am you read him books, or watch his fav. tv show. then eat a snack or breakfast, or play a game, keep him busy and make each day a game for him, if possible. Now if you have someone who's watching him most of the time so you dont have to get up (keep in mind you are the only one that can care for your unborn son & it's your job (your only job) to listen to the doc/midwife & keep that baby in as long as you possibly can! As you probably know the NICU isn't much fun & it's really any fun when you have another kid at home to take care of and your heart wants to be in 2 places at once. But you can do some fun things while on bed rest (just try to make and keep a schedule or you'll go crazy). Take up a new hobby, www.knittinghelp.com learn to knit, read books, organize photo albums, organize your recipe box/books, make a list of things that you'd like to have done before this little bundle of joy comes and as long as you can do it sitting or laying down (depending on how strict your bedrest is) then go for it! Also if you're having lots of contractions be sure you're drinking at least 1/2 gal of water a day & lay on your left side. Your muscles need water, if they dont have enough & you're getting dehydrated (even a little bit) the contractions will begin-something I learned the hard way.