19 answers

Bed Wetting in 9 Year Old

My nine year old son is in the 3rd grade and he still wets the bed almost every night. We have tried everything! A doctor even gave us an antidepressant!!! I do not go to that dr. anymore. There is a family history of it (my husband, his mom). I know I have heard other moms talk about their kids wet the bed and just don't seem to care, well my son just does not seem to care and he has started wetting himself during the day and sometimes he poops on himself. Is this just a phase or should I be worried. Drs. just want to throw medication at it. Has anyone ever tried those alarms for beds or any thing like that?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I am really surprised I got so many responses to my problem! I am very grateful to everyone for their help. My son is reluctant to try anything, especially chiropractic care, but we trying to explain it to him. But, we have tried new things, like: No drinks after certain time, watching what he eats and drinks, wake him up about the time I go to bed to use the bathroom, and I started taking away video games and his gameboy for the daytime wetting. I think that is his major problem, he gets so involved and he forgets to stop and use the bathroom. He also sleeps so deeply he sleeps through wetting the bed. We just have to work and not get lazy (me). Thank you to everybody, I really never thought I would get so many responses. My son does care, I understand that now. I feel like I have a handbook now for my kids and the problems we face daily with this website! It is a God-send!

Featured Answers

Hi L.!

Have you ever tried Chiropractic? I am a chiropractor and I have worked with many children that were bed wetters. The nerves that supply the bladder come out of the spine. When areas of the spine are out of place it doesn't allow the nerves to send the correct signal to the brain which results in bed wetting. The good news is that kids respond very quickly to chiropractic care! We tend to see results immediately and after just a few adjustments the condition typically goes away completely. If you are intersted in more information, give me a call - Dr. Sandra S. -###-###-#### or ###-###-####.

1 mom found this helpful

My sons doctor told me this was normal with some boys. We tried the alarm but my 10 yr old is such a deep sleeper it didnt work. My oldest son was put on medication for about a month and he has been accident free for 4 yrs.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

my son is 7 and still wets bed. but i notice if i cut his drinks off be4 8 he doesn't wet the bed as often

1 mom found this helpful

Have you tried a chiropractor? They seem to have great results. A. B.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi L.!

Have you ever tried Chiropractic? I am a chiropractor and I have worked with many children that were bed wetters. The nerves that supply the bladder come out of the spine. When areas of the spine are out of place it doesn't allow the nerves to send the correct signal to the brain which results in bed wetting. The good news is that kids respond very quickly to chiropractic care! We tend to see results immediately and after just a few adjustments the condition typically goes away completely. If you are intersted in more information, give me a call - Dr. Sandra S. -###-###-#### or ###-###-####.

1 mom found this helpful

My son had this problem growing up. We tried all the usual remedies. Our doctor told us that his bladder was just not all the way developed. He only had accidents when he was asleep. He was ok during the day. My husband would wake him up enough to take him to the bathroom in the middle of the night. His accidents became less and less over the years sometimes going almost a year once in between accidents. Then when he was 11 or twelve, I guess his bladder finished developing and the accidents stopped. We did not have the Good Nights that are out now. That's what I would suggest. You get them in the same section that pullups are in, and they go up to 125 lbs.
It's for older kids at night. If he doesn't want his friends to possibly see them in his room, keep them in your room and have him come in there to get one. It will keep him dry and not have him embarrassed. We did not have trouble during the day, so I don't know if this is part of it. It may just be a phase. Don't give him special attention for it. Try encouraging him when he does good and ignoring him when he messes up during the day. See how that works. Hope this helps.

J. H

1 mom found this helpful

I wet the bed until I was 12 years old. Then one day....I stopped. My son was wetting the bed for awhile, then his father stepped in. My ex set his alarm clock every night far 2a.m. He got up, woke my son up, and made him go to the bathroom. It took about 1-2 weeks and he stopped. Granted, there were occasional accidents, but he doesn't wet the bed anymore. My parents tried that with me, but it didn't work. And back then, the machines to wake the child up were just being invented. :)
Now about him wetting himself during the day....that would concern me. To me that would suggest something is upsetting him in a major way. Look at what's going on around him, anyone in school picking on him? Is there some cause for stress? I wouldn't use medication for this. Nowdays, I think the medication 'answer' isn't the right answer. Try sitting down with him and talking to him. Set him on your lap and let him relax. Try to keep the conversation light and help him talk about school and whatnot. Maybe that will help.
Good Luck and I hope everything works out for the best.

1 mom found this helpful

L.,

I would be concern about the day time wetting and soiling. A lot of the times children do that when they have experience something traumatic or if they are trying to get attention or control. It could also be a medical problem. He would need to see a specialist. I have a son and daughter that wet the bed till they were 7 years old but only at night. I have a great doctor......She said alot of the time it is bec. the child is not producing a hormone that decreases the urine production during the night. We did the beeper(www.bedwettingstore.com) and on trips or sleepovers did the perscription(DDAVP)which decreased the urine production during the night. I am very conservative when it come to meds. I think it is important not to make the child feel like they are bad. I always encouraged them and told them that alot of other kids wet the bed too. My doctor also talked to them about the physical aspect and how alot of other kids wet the bed too. I think it helped them to have her talk to them. With my youngest I used incentives bec. I felt like he was just doing it out of convenience. It worked. I hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful

hi, just wanted to let u know that i also wet the bed until i was 11 yrs old. i was a very heavy sleeper ( and still am). The bed alarms is what worked for me. also have him keep a journal every night wether he wets the bed or not. this wil help him keep track and show him how he is progressing. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi L.,
I was a bedwetter until I was 18 (VERY embarrassing, but stopped almost immediately after puberty which is not uncommon). Anyway, for a very long time I was punished for having a wet bed. Once my aunt realized I was not doing it on purpose, they got the alarm. It worked wonderfully with my cousin, but with me...It scared me to death. I am one who when I get scared, I freeze. So the very loud alarm went off and I sat straight up in bed and peed all over it. My aunt was furious!! I refused to go to bed with that alarm on. There are medications that work. One is DDAVP (I think that is the name, it is something like that). Anyway my son is almost 8 and is taking this medication. It seems to work very well, when he remembers to take it. My son does "care" that he has a problem, but is embarrassed to let anyone know (including me and my husband) that he has been wet. So unless we specifically tell him to get his sheets off the bed, he won't. I would not say he does not care. Your son may be the same way. I know that I was.

As far as the daytime inuresis and incopresis (peeing and pooping), that may be a medical issue all its own. My son at 4 had been potty trained 100% for 2 years started pooping on himself during the day. It turned out he had had a "traumatic experience" with going to the bathroom. We had been camping and when he sat down on the outhouse potty, a HUGE garden spider climbed out of it. It took a visit to the doctor to figure this out. All I can say is if you are not happy with your doctor, you may want to get a second opinion.

My son's doctor (Richard LaMere) is located in the child study center downtown Fort Worth and is AWESOME. He does medicate, but tries to seek out every cause for the problem first. Anyway, sorry this is so long and probably not much help, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Have a great evening and good luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful

My 8 year old son is also a bed wetter. We have used alarms for about 2 years now. The first one we used wasn't very useful, but the second one has been great. We got it from bedwettingstore.com. It attatches to the child's shirt, and a cord runs down and clamps to the underwear. It has 8 random sounds and vibrates, so it wakes even my little deep sleeper. They also sell these pads that you can put on the bed to save you from having to change the sheets. The alarm going off is almost always enough to wake him to where he stops the flow long enough to get to the bathroom so that there isn't really a mess to clean up other than getting a clean pair of underwear. He also takes DDAVP every night, which has helped tremendously. The bad thing is, it is extremely expensive if you don't have insurance. It is a chemical very similar to a hormone we produce that helps slow down urine production.

I wish I could offer you advice on the daytime situation. We found when my son was younger that his daytime problems were being caused by constipation (this was after taking him to a pediatric urologist). If this is the problem, you could try giving him a tablespoon of milk of magnesia every day. It's enough to help loosen him up without giving him the runs. Good luck!!!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi,

My heart goes out to you! I think it would be a good idea to seek the help of a child psychologist for ideas and therapy. (They may not have to use pills if you are against it). We have a child that has a speech delay, severe tantrums, strong willed, and is not completely potty-trained at 4 1/2. Cook Children's Behavioral has helped us quite a bit. He's a lot better. He's really close to being potty-trained. The counselor there said kids can have some strange ideas about going to the bathroom. If your child is strong willed then it is possible that it is partly a control issue. Whatever is going on, they can help everyone cope and hopefully change the outcome. If money is an issue, they have a sliding scale pay scale. You could always try the school counselor, too. It sounds like you've tried it all; I would say now it's time for professionals. I would do this soon since you have another son watching what is going on. It is hard to ask for help, but so worth it. I felt that I, the mother, should have been able to figure it out. I even have a master's degree, but unfortunately not in child development! However, it has been worth it for our whole family. I wish you the very best, and I will pray for you and your family.

Holly M.

1 mom found this helpful

My husband wet his bed till he was around 8. (He doesn't know exactly). He was very well aware of it, and didn't want to have sleep-overs. His parents took him to the doctor (his mom is a nurse, I'm sure she has tried different things before going to the doctor). He prescribed something, my mother in law said it was a sort of muscle relaxant. And it worked imediately. My husband doesn't know for how long he had to take it. It never came back after that.

Not sure if this story helps...

I have no clue about the day time wetting and poop...

Good luck, I.

1 mom found this helpful

Have the doctors considered food allergies? There is a correlation between dairy allergies and bedwetting. I was also a bedwetter until age 10 and did not find out until I was in my early 30's that I had a dairy allergy. Here's a link that discusses this allergy as well as a discussion of allergies in general:
http://www.healingwell.com/library/allergies/kaemmerer2.asp

That article includes the following reference:
" Dr. Doris Rapp, the author of Is This Your Child?, has found that allergies and other intolerances can affect mood and behavior. In children, some of the symptoms are: temper tantrums, hyperactivity, bedwetting, moodiness, and irritability. Dr. Rapp has a web site at: http://www.drrapp.com "

I had two boys that I was sure would be bedwetters (my husband was also), BUT since I knew I was allergic to dairy, they had soy and rice milk and only occasionally had dairy and they only wet their bed once since they were potty trained. They also later tested allergic to dairy and we have had a huge improvement in behavior since going Dairy Free (and Gluten-Free) in our house.

1 mom found this helpful

I would see a few different Dr's. Bedwetting itself is common, but during the day combined with passing stools, that could be a serious medical problem. Sometimes Medications are prescribed for a reason, but if you feel uncomfortable with one Dr's diagonisis, seek another.

1 mom found this helpful

My sons doctor told me this was normal with some boys. We tried the alarm but my 10 yr old is such a deep sleeper it didnt work. My oldest son was put on medication for about a month and he has been accident free for 4 yrs.

1 mom found this helpful

I wet the bed until I was about 9 as well. My parents tried everything and I was embarrased. But my dr. finally put me on meds, (for about 2 weeks) and I never wet the bed again. Something about having an underdeveloped digestive tract and the meds/hormones helped jumpstart it...

I would also be concerned about his during the day wetting/pooping. Perhaps he needs to see a psychologist.
Especially if it is a new behavior. Whenever something like that happens, or even if the bed wetting was under control, but than it starts up again... it very often than not involves some type of trauma or stress. If anything has changed in his life, new school, bullied at school, different people coming around the house... This is probably why the dr. gave him antidepressants. It would cure the symptom perhaps, but not the problem behind it.

1 mom found this helpful

My son is ten and is having a problem with it. We went to see a specialist at Urology Associates of North Texas located in downtown Fort Worth and he did a lot of test to make sure that there were no problems. My son is fine but he just sleeps so soundly that he does not wake up to go to the bathroom. The doctor told us to make sure that he peed every 2 hours through the day. He was dry for the first time. And as long as he pees more often during the day we do not have any problems. The doctor said that we could use some medicine but said that it would not solve the problem, my son will just grow out of it. The doctor really recommended the pee pad but I have heard that it does not work. The doctor said that I would need to work with my son for quite a few months. That he probably would not wake up to the alarm at first that I would have to go wake him up.

1 mom found this helpful

L.,
I agree with the other posts that say sometimes meds are needed. DDAVP is the synthetic form of the hormone that shuts off the the production of urine.

We did the alarm thing too. It did help. The site you got from someone else has them for sale. In fact, I still have our last one (we went through a few) and only used it once or twice. I sell it to you cheap if you want to try it. But check the website out first, so you know what's out there.

The daytime issues are something else altogether and I'd be worried. You didn't say if your son had any other issues, like autism or Asperger's. My son has Asperger's and during the day he would be so intent on playing a game or playing on the computer that he would forget he needed to go to the bathroom.

The good news is most kids stop wetting the bed. Someday. My son was 13 when he finally started to be dry at night. Now it's been over a year since he had any issues and he's dry all the time.

1 mom found this helpful

I have tried the alarm 3 times now. My son is also 9 years old and in the 3rd grade. It seems that on the nights we put the alarm on him it is a worse night than ever. Wetting through 2 pullups and then soaking the bed without anything on. We have have 3 weeks of no accidents and then it goes back to every night or every other night of soaking through pull ups. My son does not seem to care either, but I'm so disheartened over it. I don't know what to do anymore. Our doctor prescribed a pill for when he wants to sleepover or go on campouts, but does not suggest taking it on a nightly basis.

I also have a 9 year old who wets his bed. We just started the bed pad... he's been in pullups forever. His dad doesn't symphathize and thinks I'm babying him by not trying to make it "such a bad thing". His aunt who is his doctor and my husband's sister says it's normal and his dad peed the bed until he was 9. My husband denies it. Anyways... I appreciate reading all of this information and might try the chiropractic thing. The medicine even though it's very effective.. I'm struggling with because my son already takes meds for ADHD. I feel bad shoveling drugs into him. I feel so bad for my son because he gets one reaction from me and one from his dad. It makes me so mad (toward his father) when my husband doesn't try to be supportive and just belittles him. Grrr... but I just wanted to say that reading all these responses is very uplifting and helpful. Thank you for all who have responded. And thank you to the lady who first asked the questions. I'm thankful my son doesn't do the day time peeing and pooping except for an occassional accident because he becomes to preoccupied.

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