I was a bedwetter until I was 18 (VERY embarrassing, but stopped almost immediately after puberty which is not uncommon). Anyway, for a very long time I was punished for having a wet bed. Once my aunt realized I was not doing it on purpose, they got the alarm. It worked wonderfully with my cousin, but with me...It scared me to death. I am one who when I get scared, I freeze. So the very loud alarm went off and I sat straight up in bed and peed all over it. My aunt was furious!! I refused to go to bed with that alarm on. There are medications that work. One is DDAVP (I think that is the name, it is something like that). Anyway my son is almost 8 and is taking this medication. It seems to work very well, when he remembers to take it. My son does "care" that he has a problem, but is embarrassed to let anyone know (including me and my husband) that he has been wet. So unless we specifically tell him to get his sheets off the bed, he won't. I would not say he does not care. Your son may be the same way. I know that I was.
As far as the daytime inuresis and incopresis (peeing and pooping), that may be a medical issue all its own. My son at 4 had been potty trained 100% for 2 years started pooping on himself during the day. It turned out he had had a "traumatic experience" with going to the bathroom. We had been camping and when he sat down on the outhouse potty, a HUGE garden spider climbed out of it. It took a visit to the doctor to figure this out. All I can say is if you are not happy with your doctor, you may want to get a second opinion.
My son's doctor (Richard LaMere) is located in the child study center downtown Fort Worth and is AWESOME. He does medicate, but tries to seek out every cause for the problem first. Anyway, sorry this is so long and probably not much help, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.
Have a great evening and good luck to you.