S.B. asks from Rochester, NY on April 15, 2007
Bed Wetting at 12 - Rochester,NY
My brother and sister in law have a 12 year old who is still wetting the bed. My sister in law says that the doctor says that there is nothing wrong with her son and that he will grow out of it. He takes medicine if he sleeps over somewhere, but the other night, we kept him over and he wet the bed. When I talked to my sister in law about it, she said he forgot his medicine. It made me so angry because she hasn't taken him for a checkup in two years and she works so much, the kids are home alone for up to four hours after school, and I just think that it is aweful that this family doesn't have a handle on this issue with their son. I understand that some kids wet and can't help it, but my sister in law hasn't looked into the problem in two years. I'm sure it was humiliating for my 12 year old nephew to talk to me about bed wetting and I don't know what to do about it. Should I talk to my sister in law about my opinions? How normal is it for a 12 year old to wet the bed every other night? Thanks.
T.H. answers from Rochester on April 15, 2007
Some kids just sleep so sound that they can't wake themselves up to use the bathroom. There really isn't a magic age. Two of my brothers had this problem. My parents cut them off from drinks after dinner and woke them up to use the bathroom around midnight, till they were almost 12. It's a very hard problem for the parents as well as for the child. Be patient with you SIL, understand she does this everynight. It's probally worth looking into to see if there are any other options, but my brothers did outgrow it.
E.L. answers from Rochester on April 16, 2007
I have to be honest and tell you I stopped wetting my bed at about age 13. I really could not help it. I think I was one of those who slept very deeply. My first son had some probelm with bed wetting. After I use one of those moisture sensitive pads that scared the H out of him the first time the alarm went off, he was shortly cured of bed wetting. At least he did not live with it as long as I did. He was maybe 4 or 5 or 6 when he stopped. My first daughter had some bed wetting prolems, but eventually she outgew it. There may have been some other inbred problem...although I no longer bed wet, I do grind my teeth while I am asleep...so who is to day if it is stress, or genetic or what? I was an only child of older parents...could that have contributed in some way? who knows? But yes, I think most wetters grow out of it.
N.K. answers from Rochester on April 16, 2007
Hi.I just wanted to tell you that my husbands side of the family has the same problem.A few of the kids on his side of the family as well as my own son has that problem and my son is on meds. for it as well all the other kids in the family.It does run on my husbands side of the family and I have taken my son to the doctors for this problem and the only thing we can do now is hope it stops!My son is 11 now and he is doing better with this problem!We did all kinds of tests to make sure everything is alright and thank god all is great he just has to take meds for it and like our doctor says in time it should stop.I also feel your sisterinlaw needs to take her son to the doctors for checkups once a year and I cant beleive that the school hasnt said anything because I no my boys have to have papers for their checkups every year and the school will get on you if you dont have the papers.But she does sound like she is trying to keep up with life because life is about bills and it is hard when you have kids you want the best for them maybe if you have time you can lend a helping hand!For her to leave her kids home for upto 4 hours it seems long but the 12 year old I feel can handle thing for that long if told what to do and what not to do some people leave kids home alone for longer than that just to put food in their kids mouth!Good luck to you and all.
D.M. answers from Scranton on April 16, 2007
My daughter is 10 and still wets the bed. She was fully potty trained both day and night and in reg underwear by 20 mths old. At 2 1/2 she started having daytime accidents when her father left. It lasted for about a year. Then she was fine. Then she started again when she was 5 when her father re-entered her life and mine. It lasted for a few months then stopped. Then when she was 7 1/2 she started wetting the bed at night. Something that never happened before. Her father left again when she was 8 and the amount of bedwetting increased to the point that some nights she wets 3-4 times. She never wakes up during the night. I've stopped drinks, food, woken her up at night(which she never remembers), but it still happens. Nothing has worked. She'll be 11 in a few months and the bedwetting has continued. Every few months she has a checkup with the doctor over it. We've tried every medicine there is for it and none of them worked for her. The only thing I haven't tried is the bedwetting alarm cause the insurance company won't cover it and they can get kinda pricy. I've been told that's the last resort. She's been using Goodnights for years now. Although some night she leaks really bad cause they just can't hold all of it. So besides having a fitted plastic sheet on her bed under her reg sheet, she also uses washable bed pads like they have in the hospital. The doctor has done every test possible but nothing medical is wrong. Her bladder is fine, it's not underdeveloped or too small. He says she will grow out of it. Within the past few months she has had occasional nights or even as much as a week without wetting, but it returns full force. For her it's been mostly emotional based, but she is also a deep sleeper. Sometime these kids just can't help it. Some get very embarrassed about it. In my daugthers case she doesn't really care and isn't very embarrassed that her friends know or that she wears her Goodnights at occassional sleepovers. It does worry me that she doesn't really care, especially with her going through puberty now.
Your sister-in-law should at least take him to reg doctors appts just so the doctor can have a history on it. And also to make sure there are no underlying problems that need to be addressed.
J.D. answers from Burlington on April 17, 2007
I know how you feel. I have a brother who is 12 and still wetting the bed, my mom says it is normal too. I don't believe that every child who wets the bed has a weak bladder. My brother is extremely lazy and my mother does nothing about it. It is hard to tell him what to do when my mom just says 'clean it up'. He wets about as often as your nephew. If you get any good advice, please pass it on. It is hard on my brother, he doesn't know what can help him stop wetting through. thanks