Bed Wetting.

There are many reasons why children "backslide" with potty training. Sometimes it comes when there is nothing wrong at all. It could be that he is just too busy to go. My six year old did the same thing at that age, but quickly got over it. If he did not have any accidents, he got an extra story at bedtime, extra playtime, etc. It only took a few weeks and he was back to normal. Good luck!

new wetting that is not in the bed may have something to do with a UTI. My understanding is they are harder to detect in boys. My son has never had one but I have a nephew that has had this problem.
good luck
K.

Have you taken him to the doctor to see if is something physical? He also might still be feeling the stress in the home even if you are not fighting in front of him. I hate to be around stressed out people and I know kids are more sensitive than grownups, so you know they hate it. It has to scare them to death. I would take him to the doctor and get his kidneys and bladder checked first though.
R. C

It could be a medical problem as some have suggested but it also could just be he doesn't want to take the time to stop and go like ke needs to. My 4 yr old has the tendency to wait until he is nearly about to pee on himself before he runs to the bathroom.

My son just turned 5 and we had an "accident" just yesterday. He also wears a pull-up to bed. I'm not worried about it. He has a 5-month-old brother and things have changed a lot lately. It takes some time for little ones to adjust and I'm just trying to give him that time without losing my temper. It's hard being out and seeing the tell-tale dark spot on the front of his pants and have to head back home. I thought we we'd be past all that now. But this is obviously something he's not doing on purpose. I feel like it's something he will grow out of either as he gets older or as things settle down.

Good luck and God bless.

It could be a sign of stress. I was told that children do not know how to deal with stress, or express their anxiety, so they sometimes will "act out" by having accidents, whether peeing or pooping. I've seen this in my boys when our schedule changes, I have a 4 1/2 year old and a 3 year old also. Also, when my brother-in-law was going through his divorce, his oldest son, 7 years old, started having accidents! So if you and your husband are having problems, this may be his way of dealing with it. He probably will not be able to verbalize his feelings...he's only 4, but knowing this might help you deal with it. Maybe talking about your situation with him might help, or just some one on one time. If your marriage continues to get worse, and he gets worse, you might want to consider counseling. I know it helped my nephews

Hi L.-
I went throught this a couple months ago with my 3 1/2 year old son. He started to go poopy in his pants - after being potty trained since 2. Mostly it was just a little bit in his pants, and then he would go on the toilet, but sometimes it was a lot in his pants. At first, I thought he just didn't make it to the toilet on time - and he would just tell me he had an accident too. But after 3-4 days of the same thing, my husband and I realized it was a control thing. Since he didn't respond to our talking to him, we took every single truck he has and put them all up high where he could see them but couldn't get them. We told him he had to earn them back. Each day he kept his underwear clean, he got to get a truck back - one at a time. It worked like a charm for us - he was so proud of himself earning his trucks back every day and would be so excited. Hope this helps and good luck.

I'm not trying to scare you, but I wanted to share just in case... I had a similar experience with my son- when he was around the same age. It ended up that he had mono. One of the symptoms is a enlarged spleen. His spleen was so enlarged that he had trouble controlling his bladder (it was putting too much pressure on his bladder.) I went through the same struggles- wondering what was going on at school, etc. Ended up that he was sick. After a few doctor's visits and losts of rest, he was all better. No more accidents. I'm sure your son does not have mono- but just remember sometimes there can be something physcially going on that could cause the bed wetting. Good luck!

Hi L.,

My husband and I have this problem. But our son is 11. My husband had to explain to me and our son that sometimes the body will develop faster than the organs. The sphincter muscle that tells you to go to the bathroom may not be fully developed, so those accidents are true accidents. He just doesn't know and when he does, it's too late. Make sure to encourage him to tell you as soon as he feels it. My son may touch himself and I immediately ask if he has to go to the bathroom. Your body gives you warnings before it is too late. So watch his body language and make sure that you cut his drink time and how much he drinks. Also think about his surroundings at school when he does have an accident, did he come from outside at recess, was it a fun game they were playing, etc. At home, were you in the middle of something, did you not give him attention at that moment, etc. I am not saying that you have to monitor his every move and live your life around his potty schedule, but just to make yourself aware of the changes that may help him be more aware of when he needs to go to the bathroom.

I hope that helps!!!

I would take him to the dr b/c he might have an infection. I work in the medical field and this a sign that something maybe be going on. I hope it is nothing serious and a simple antibotic will fix the problem if there is one. Good luck!

L.

Our pediatrician feels it is normal for boy's at this age to still wet the bed and not to fuss over it. I beg to differ. Being the mother of four boy's I only have one that still has accidents. My five year old, Tyler is a very sound sleeper and wets almost every night. He only had two accident while at school and it had to do with waiting too long. My experience has been that pull-up only reinforce that going in your pants is okay and they often forget they don't have one on. I do not use pull-ups. I change the bed daily with my son and we make it up every evening so he knows how fun it really isn't peeing in the bed. I do not ridicule him for his accidents. I had a brother who wet the bed until he was almost sixteen and saw his self-esteem in the toilet over an embarassing battle during his youth. I get up numerous times in the evenings to get him up to go pee and many times he's already wet. I wake him, we change the bed, go pee and then get back into bed and try again. My SD wet the bed until she was eight. Eventually they learn to either hold it all night or get up on their own. I did not carry my children to the potty while breaking bed-wetting I've made each and every one of my children walk on their own to the rest roon, so they learn the drill on their own. I thankfully had all the other boy's and my daughter trained well before 2.

I also cut fluids off by 6 PM and always reinforce that if we keep drinking we'll have an accident and wet the bed.

If you and your husband argue regarding bed-wetting or other child related issues you are only adding to the problems long term. Work together as a team then you will overcome this hurdle. Seems like you may have different child rearing styles and you both need to learn to take things offline or walk away and discuss matters later when you are both rational. Easier said than done...I know, but you owe it to your children and your own well being.

It could be -- and hopefully is -- nothing. A lot of times, kids do a little backslide right before another developmental leap. Still, I would take stock. I don't necessarily think disagreements in front of the kids is bad -- it may be that you're showing them how grown-ups handle conflict -- if you "fight nice" and come to a solution, you may be helping them. It could be that your son is testing his limit as far as how long he can hold off before he has an emergency. Maybe just start saying every hour or so, "okay, it's potty time" and when your son stops having accidents, you can stop the potty times.

Good luck.

Hi L.,
Has he been on antibiotics lately? I have heard that sometimes yeast can cause them to loose control.
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R.

My youngest child is 4 and yes sometimes he has accidents. Over the christmas break and the last week he's had accidents. Why I don't know but he's normally dry...it's just that an accident if it was everyday I'd start to worry...I have noticed my son's intake of fluid over the christmas break was more and sometimes he misjudges what is bladder can hold. I don't think I'd worry I'd mark down notes of fluid in take and the days it happens and go from there. I also notice when my son drinks soda he has to go potty more and his holding it isn't very good he sometimes has accidents then. This has just been my experience with my child not really advise...I have to other boys and they also at age 4 had accidents once in a while, sometimes a few times in a week sometimes once and then not again for months.

My first thought is that maybe there has been a change in his life? I know that moving effects children to start having accidents again...I have no idea why, are they too busy playing or forget where the bathroom is... But maybe take a look at his surroundins and see if there has been a change, even a minor one. Is your 3 year old trained already? Maybe your 4 yr old is seeing his little brother get some attention because of the potty thing and he wants to "join in on the fun". Hope that helps!

Putting yourself in his shoes (with his level of maturity), could it be any scary,extremes or strong subjects movies or shows that he is exposed to and create tension??. Insecurity created by rushing not to be late?? rivality with his brother for some specific calling attention behavior from his brother??.... Well hope it help you in someway. Keep observing him for clues, God bless, N.

Hi. My 4 year old started having accidents as well after being potty trained for 2 years. I decided to try positive reinforcement and it worked. He was peeing and pooping in his pants. I tried tackling pooping first. I told him if he went a whole week without any accidents we would make cinnimon rolls. He did it. The next week I did the same thing except with peeing and he did it. He rarely has accidents now. He has a younger brother as well and the doctor said it may have been an attention seeking thing. Like he said, the squeaky wheel gets oiled. Good luck.

Hello, I have 4 year old and 2 year old daughters. I have been married for 6 years and my husband and I have been doing the rocky thing for about the past 2 years also...My 4 year old started doing the same thing. From my experience, it doesn't matter if you're arguing in front of them or not, the kiddies can feel the tension. I'm no doctor so I can't speak for what's going on with your son and you should still probably get it checked out just in case, but with my daughter it was her way of handling the stress she was under. My 2 year old was showing alot of signs of the stress too (clingier, whinier). It can be really rough on little ones even if they don't actually see it, they are so perceptive and definitely take notice of everything. I don't know what to tell you to help unfortunetly as the only thing that finally helped my kids was us moving out and my husband and I getting seperated. It can be really tough for the parents going thru everything like that...multiply it even more and thats how your kids feel because they are too little to comprehend or express themselves. I hope you and your husband are seeking counseling or something to help work thru your issues because if it is the stress the only thing to help the kiddies is when you guys help yourselves first. Good luck to you tho!!

Boy’s kidneys develop slower than girls which make them have accidents more often. Give them time most boys do not Potty train well until 4 or even older. Also there could be a medical problem and you can’t always trust that they aren’t having problems at school my daughter always says no even though she is. Just be patient and consistent he will be fine.