Bed Wetting - Lincoln, NE

Updated on March 14, 2008
T.K. asks from Lincoln, NE
61 answers

My son is almost 4 and he still wets the bed (pull-up)EVERY night. I really want to put an end to this but don't know what to do.

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K.V.

answers from Rapid City on

My son wet the bed until he was almost 12 yrs old. It may be something that may happen for awhile. My son slept VERY HARD and could not wake up. after doing some research I found out that it is not uncommon for boys to do this. It took more work as parents to not make him feel bad over something he could not control. We did limit his fluid intake after 5pm which helped some. Prior to the onset of puberty either his bladder grew or his muscles became stronger or he didnt sleep so hard but it did eventually subsided. Like I said, its harder as parents to not belittle them or shame for the night time accidents. It does get old and frustrating though. The pullups may be around for awhile. Good Luck and hug him tight. It goes by so fast.

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S.M.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

Many bedwetting problems are linked to low magnesium levels. See if there is a way to supplement with some magnesium citrate, and you may find the problem solved. Many kids have problems much longer than expected, and it is really a simple matter of being low on a nutrient....S. H-W

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

It's perfectly normal. He's too young to be expected to make it through the night (although some kids that age do). Doctors don't even consider it a problem until approx. age 7. Both of my boys were in pull-ups at night until age 6. Just keep him in a pull-up and don't worry about it. It will come when he's ready.

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M.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi, T.,
I'm sure this behavior is just as irritating to your little boy as it is to you. Most kids never mean to wet the bed, but their brain isn't getting the message that they need to use the bathroom. Depending on the kind of life stresses he's had (ex. birth trauma, falls, nutritional or emotional strain), he may have nerve irritation in his body that is interefering with the connection from his bladder to his brain. Most frequently, this is caused by bones in the spine that aren't moving like they should. I would recommend you have your son seen by a chiropractor. She'll help restore the neural channels in your son's body so he can be more in touch with what his body is telling him. If you need a reference or more information, please email me (____@____.com). You might just be surprised that chiropractic could help your child be healthier on all levels!
Best of luck,
M. Baker, DC

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B.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

T.,
Its probably not what you want to hear but if he is in a pull up every night and is still waking up wet his body may just not be ready. I have a 5 year old boy who is completely trained during the day but still wears a pull up at night. We do all the suggested things to help him stay dry( cut off liquids 2 hours before bed and have him go potty right before bed) and he is often still wet, with some success mixed in. One suggestion we haven't really embraced but may work for you is to wake the child up during the night to have them try to go potty, if you have a heavy sleeper this may work, because he just isn't waking up on his own to the urge to go. Good luck and if nothing else don't worry much about if now just isn't the time.
Brandie (2 boys age 5 and 2)

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R.P.

answers from Omaha on

Hi T.~
I know how frustrating it can be to have a son who wets the bed. However, some children (boys, inparticular) are not physically able to stay dry all night until they are older. Have you talked to your doctor about this? Many doctors will tell you that they don't consider it a "problem" until kids are 7 or 8. I know this isn't a solution, but at this point, be grateful that there are pullups available and you aren't having to change sheets everyday.
R.

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H.O.

answers from Milwaukee on

T.,
Cut off liquids before bedtime. Our kids go to bed around 8:00. We have dinner around 6:00. We encourage them to drink all the milk/water they want at 6:00. After that, they don't get anymore for the rest of the evening. Usually cut off time for liquids is around 6:30. Encourage your son to go to the bathroom right before he goes to bed. When we were training our children to do this, we would give them "extra" back scratches at bedtime if they were able to go potty right before bedtime! That worked for us. Then, when they wake up dry...make a big deal of it. Sticker chart...extra morning hugs...something positive. Do this regularly for a few months and you should eventually get dry nights. Our daughter can wake up in the middle of the night and go if she has to. Our son doesn't. He sleeps so hard that it's rare he would ever wake up! So, on occasion when we have a late dinner and he has a big soda in a restaurant or someone offers him a drink at their house later at night...once in a while...there's still some bed wetting. But, we found the key is cutting off the liguids and getting them out before going to sleep. And, we don't make a big deal out of it if he does have a bedwetting accident. We certainly don't punish him or chastise him for it. He really can't help it. Also, my opinion on pull-ups...after some time of working on this issue by limiting and excreting liquids before bed...I think you need to stop using pull-ups. We did this about a month into the training, when we had already had some mornings with dry pull-ups. Again, just coming from my opinion and experience. I found that pull-ups, psycologically, were "permission" to pee while sleeping because that's what they've always done in them. Peed in the pull-up. And, I wanted them to know that I did NOT want them to pee anymore while they were sleeping. So, I bought a few of those "half" white sheet protectors that tuck in over the sheets, made sure my mattress pad was waterproof, bought extra sheets,kept them in their underwear, and went for it. We had a few weeks of wet pads. But, changing the pad was easier than changing sheets daily. You can find the bed pad in one of those catalogs like "Leaps and Bounds". Also, kids don't always feel their pee in the pull-up. It gets absorbed so quickly. When they pee without one, it's wet and uncomfortable, may even wake them up. But, be ready. It does get a little "messy" for awhile while they are learning. It's a learning curve! We always remained positive and loving. Never yelled or got mad that anything was wet or a mess, even if they woke up in the middle of the night with wet sheets. So, only do this if you have the patience, energy, and will! It worked for us.

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H.F.

answers from Pocatello on

Have your pediatrition recomend a urologist. Bed wetting can be a medical problem. I wet the bed until I was 10 years old! It was not my fault, It was mostly due to a series of UTI's and a mild kidney infection that was not totally cured for years. Whatever you do don't try to make your son feel guilty or ashamed, it will not help the problem and will just make him feel badly about something that he may not have any control over. If his bed wetting has no underlying medical problem, try waking him up once or twice a night to go to the bathroom, but make sure that he gets to bed early and gets enough sleep overall, an exhausted child has an even harder time getting up to go to the bathroom. He will grow out of it eventually, he may need medication or some other kind of help to do so, and he really needs your love and support! Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Des Moines on

My son is 8 and he still has accidents sometimes. He sleeps so hard at night that he doesn't realize he has to go. We have been making him use the bathroom before he goes to bed to prevent accidents and he gets his last drink of whatever he wants 1-2 hours before bed. Since we have been doing this he has been doing really well and the accidents are few and far between.
We also dont make a big deal about it we have him change his sheets. We dont want him to be embarrest and alot of times he cant help it. I found this website and it has some information on bed wetting i hope it helps. http://www.goodnites.com/na/bedwettingbasics/Default.aspx

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

It has helped my three year old daughter to get up once in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. We have only had one bedtime wetting in the last two months, and after waking her up a couple of times, now she is able to get up on her own when she does have to go during the nighttime. Also, I would opt away from the pull-up. I know they save in the clean up but it also keeps them from realizing what their doing while they sleep. Just a suggestion. This has worked for me! Good Luck!!

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K.C.

answers from Madison on

My 4 year old did not stop wetting until we decided that if he wet he was not to wake mom or dad, but just change his pjs and bedding and get back into bed. (everythings layed out near the bed and reviewed at bedtime). It took a few tearful episodes, but he decided it was less effort to go to the bathroom than change his own clothes and bedding. Just prepare yourself for a few rough nights.

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A.F.

answers from Atlanta on

My daughter had the same issue! I just knew something was wrong with her. We had the doctor check for UTI everything and there was nothing to be found.
The doctor advised us to wake her up every few hours at night and put her on the toilet and wake her up enough to go to the bathroom. He advised even if you have to carry them into the bathroom, take them in there and get them to go. I turned on the water if it didn't seem she had to go and she went to the bathroom.
Because she went to bed earlier, we got her up before we went to bed about 11 or 12 and woke her up again about 3 am.
We did this for about 2 weeks with success.

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

i agree with these posts...limited water in the evening and go cold turkey on the pull-ups...make a reward chart...every day he wakes up dry he gets a start and then at the end of the week he gets a reward (whatever motivates him...money, chuck e cheese ets)...this worked like a charm with our daughter who was 3 or almost 4. also, have extra sheets easily assessible in the night time, or let him sleep on your floor on a sleeping bag. this will help with your stress too of cleaning up in the middle of the night as he still will have accidents when wearing underware to bed.

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K.R.

answers from Sioux Falls on

my oldest went thru something like that, and what we had to do was to take the pull up away completely. then we went thru 2 nights that he wet the bed, and after that it stopped. but as long as he knew that pull up would absorb his wet, then he didnt even try to get to the bathroom. but apparently he didnt like waking up cold and wet in the bed so he started going into the toilet. it was lazyness on my sons part. he would be awake, but not want to move, so he just wet his pull up. as soon as the pull up wasnt there he had no choice but to go to the toilet...
thats what worked for us, oh and making him clean up the mess when he would have an accident... that helped too

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M.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Continue using pull-ups and stop worrying about it. It is very common. My daugther wore a pull-up through Kindergarten. If you asked your pediatrician, he/she would probably tell you the same thing.

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K.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Many years ago I was a bedwetter, and I had to have my urethra dilated so my bladder would empty completely before bed. One generation later, my daughter, now 26, was given a medication for about a month, which ended her bedwetting. Have you talked to your doctor? Age 4 is still pretty young--you may just have to wait.

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M.D.

answers from Davenport on

i had a daughter that had that problem she is now 14 and she out grew it .What u can do is this still use them pull ups till it stops but, don't let him have anything to drink after 7pm(ot just let him have little bit to drink but not alot) if thats the time u put him to bed and the next step is to have him go to the bathroom before bed and if possible before u go to bed wake him up a little bit and take him to the restroom and go potty again. keep doing this every nite and eventually it will stop.I didn't know what was wrong with my daughter and the doctors told me to do it this way ,what is was that she potty trained herself before she was 2 so her body was growing faster then her bladder was and that could be his problem also ,but just try my idea. i did that with my daughter and, now he may have accdients once in while dont get mad at him just be patenice and it will stop all together i hope this information will help you.

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A.S.

answers from Appleton on

I was a bedwetter until age 8, my husband was until age 12, and 3 out of 5 of our kids until various ages. You can check with the doctor to see if it's a physical problem, but mostly it's not. I've noticed a common thread with bedwetters, they're very sound sleepers. Nothing seems to help sometimes except age. Just be sure you don't get angry at them for it, because they feel bad enough....they can't help it.

A. Schmidt
Appleton, WI

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have to agree with everyone that says this is perfectly normal. I also have a 3 1/2 year old boy, he still wears a pull-up at night. All kids are different as far as when they grow into or out of different stages. I understand that the thought of not having to buy pull-ups or diapers anymore at all is a very nice thought, but I would rather be buying one package of pull-ups or diapers a month or so then stressing that something is automatically wrong with my child because he doesn't stay dry at night. No offense to anyone else that suggested this, but I don't think it's anything to rush to the doctor about, unless of course you really feel there's something medically wrong, and only you would know that about your child. I've never heard of bed wetting being caused by a food allergy either, not for a child that young anyway. I personally don't follow the rule of cutting off liquids either, especially in the winter, heating your house makes the air very dry sometimes, I know I have a glass of water on my night stand every night because I get so thirsty. Also, kids need a good nights rest, and I don't think disturbing that is right, unless absolutely necessary, especially for a very young child. He will get it. Just be patient, and the days of needing pull-ups for night time will be over sooner rather then later. I'm just thrilled to that my son is finally fully potty trained for the day time, that's a HUGE hurdle right there! Bottom line, it's very normal to still need a bed time diaper or pull-up for kids under the age of 5 for sure, sometimes even a little older. He will be past this before you know it!

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B.F.

answers from Milwaukee on

Some children continue to wet the bed at night for years after they are toilet trained. It may become less frequent as he gets older and just occur now and then. Talk to your pediatrician for the best medical advice. But, bottom line, your little guy is NOT doing this on purpose! It's a disorder and he has no control over it. Try to take the wet bedding in stride in the morning and by all means don't make him feel guilty or humiliated.
B.

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A.D.

answers from Lincoln on

My daughter is in the same boat and she is 4 1/2! I'm not sure whether she knows she is going to the bathroom or not in her sleep. She is not that hard of a sleeper either, but every morning her pull-up is wet. Has anyone had success waking their child in the night to take them to the bathroom?

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R.P.

answers from Davenport on

I am a mother of two and am over 40. My best advice is that you have patience. I am sure you have heard that no liquid should be given after 6:00 p.m.. If that doesn't help then a doctor would be the next step. Sometimes a prescription is nessessary. I know meds are not the answer to everything, but truely it is not your sons fault or yours. He is not lazy. Sometimes there is an unusually small bladders and they just can't help it. Stay positive.

J

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M.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree with Bette. My daughter was potty trained at two. Now she's almost 4 as well and still wets when she's sleeping at night. I just put a nighttime pull-up on her. He'll grow out of it. It's very very normal. I have three friends with kids this age and they all wet at night when they sleep. They simply sleep through it and their muscle control can't hold it when they are in a deep sleep. Don't worry - it will pass.

I disagree with making him "clean up his mess" Having a responsible kid who cleans up after himself with toys, clothes is one thing, making them "responsible for their laziness" in the middle of the night by cleaning up the soaked sheets is missing the mark and sounds a bit like trying to shame the kid. Kids have different sleep patterns than adults, waking them up to pee seems like it would disrupt a normal sleep cycle. They are growing up, it takes time. I've noticed more of the posts speak to this, that it's quite normal. Check with more than one pediatrician, and also the American Pediatric Association to confirm this.

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H.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hey T.,
I have been a mom for a long time (my oldest is 25 my youngest is 15), all boys!
I remember the potty training days and nights. One thing that I learned is when they are uncomfortable...they are less likely to repeat the behavior. Pull-Ups are comfy! They are like a diaper, very little difference in fact. So when they are wet - the material pulls the wet away from their skin.
I used cloth training pants with rubber pants over them (because there were no Pull-ups) when they are wet they feel icky! I am not even sure if you can still buy these ancient tools of the mommy trade - garage sale?? They are MUCH CHEAPER too!!
Pull-Ups are GREAT for public occasions. Like church, or going to the store etc when a bathroom might not be readily available and they are very convenient for road trips etc. But for at home, Pull-ups might not be your best bet.
You will also want to consider that, some children are just harder to train. So restricting water a few hours before bedtime might help too. One of my sons (who is 21 now) was a late potty trainer. He just couldn't wake up to 'go' when he felt the urge. He wet his bed until he was 5 or so.
More recently, my nephew was having a hard time recognizing the difference between having a diaper on at night and using a Pull-Up that is supposed to be dry in the morning. SO we started the Dry Diaper Club...everyone in the house participated! Everyone had their own "star color" and got to put a "star" on the Dry Diaper Club calendar every morning that they had a dry diaper (aunt H. and Grandma included)!! X number of stars got a treat of some sort, like a cone at the DQ!
I promise... eventually they all learn to recognize the discomfort even during sleep and will wake before the accident happens.
Good Luck!

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M.D.

answers from Green Bay on

As a mother of 2 adult children and grandmother of 5, it is not unusual for children to not be able to get through the night dry until they are five or six (sometimes older). All my grandchildren were four and up to six before they made it through the night dry. I have goodnights/pullups for them when they come for overnight. The five year old still needs them. If you are worried that there may be a problem, see your pediatrician.
Good luck,
Carole

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P.S.

answers from Grand Forks on

I know what it is like, my son is 9 and only has been "dry" at night since I have been regularly taking him to the chiropractor. It has been 3 weeks !!!! :) I have met another mom at the chiro who has had the same result. I have tried the limiting liquids, i.e. no liquids after supper 6pm. I got him up in the middle of the night at least twice and he still had accidents all the time. I tried alarms, but he slept right through them and they woke up the rest of the family. The laundry cost alone and time to clean up has more than enough paid for the chiropractor. Who knows give it a shot. Hope you find something that works.

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter wet the bed (pull-ups, etc) until she was 7! I finally found the problem: A drop in her night time BLOOD SUGAR LEVEL. Apparently when blood sugar levels drop we all get the urge to pee, but with little kids, the sphincter just lets go for the same reason.

Give your son a high-fat/high protein/low sugar bed-time snack - peanut butter on toast, cheese and bread, bean and cheese burrito... the higher the fat the better. DON'T CUT OUT THE WATER... dehydration can also cause blood sugar to drop.

When we implemented this for my daughter, she all-but stopped having bed-wetting at night instantly - although she had accidents for about 2 years. Amazingly, her daytime temperament also improved.

Good luck! For more information about blood sugar and bedwetting, visit your local naturepath physician or chiropractor.

A. Rondano, Minneapolis

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D.S.

answers from Detroit on

T., ive raised 3 boys, they each did not get a hold of potty training till at least 4, sometimes, kids will wet the bed under stressful conditions, this i cannot help with, but i used pull ups too, and found it hard for my kids to quit , then i resorted to the old method, of using training pants and plastic pants, and i made sure, i protected the matress with a cover that would stop wetness from going through to matress, just plain ole training pants and them feeling the uncomfortable wetness can help, going to bathroom before bed, and maybe getting up in middle of night around the time he pees, might also help, but this tires you out, and its better to allow him feel the wet and have him help change his sheets, might help too, this creates a bit more laundry, but ive come to realize that the words laundry and done are not usually in the same sentence, hahaha , but making him feel big with real underwear, can also make him feel big to use the potty, pull ups are great, but if they dont feel wet, like wet wet, they may not take to it as well, also with a new baby on the way, and he being the oldest, this could just be a stress period for him ,he might just need a bit of attention, hope all goes well, he will be done with it soon, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, D. s

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A.L.

answers from Sioux Falls on

My daughter was a bed wetter until 3rd grade. We tried the pills, nasal spray, eliminating caffein cutting off liquids after 6 pm. None of it worked. It was YEARS of frustration. I ended up getting a monitor and the first night it went off I realized that once she started going, she could not quit. For a week I had her stop in the middle of peeing and strengthen the muscle. We went back to using the monitor after one week. It went off that first night, she was able to stop herself. She had a few accidents every once in a blue moon but it took care of it. Best of luck to you. I hope you find what works for your little boy.

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D.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have the same issue with my boy who is nearly 5! Apparently all the advice I have received says not to worry too much as of course they grow out of it AND it can be hereditary. My husband was late getting dry at night (his Mom says!) so that might be why. Cameron never slept well as a baby and toddler then when he hit 3 he started sleeping really hard. I tried waking him before I went to bed to take him to the bathroom but he was in such a deep sleep it didn't seem fair. We also limit his fluid intake about 1hour before bed and make sure he goes before he gets into bed. I really don't worry so much anymore as I know he will grow out of it and he's not going on a sleepover anytime soon. Keep in touch and let me know if you receive any more info.

Mom to Cameron 41/2 and Connor 2

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L.G.

answers from Iowa City on

My son is 8 and still wets the bed. He is a very heavy sleeper and sometimes I have to wake him up because he is asleep still on wet sheets. I took him out of Goodnights because he said he hates wearing diapers. This has improved his bedwetting from 1-2 times a night to 1-2 times a week. He actually woke me up in the middle of the night last week to tell me he had started to pee but woke up and ran to the bathroom. He was very proud and I told him I was too. I believe kids feel bad enough about wetting the bed that we should not make it any worse. I also don't feel it is fair to limit fluids as my son tends to not drink enough anyway and seems to always get dehydrated when he is ill. My son's bedwetting also cut down when we took milk completely out of his diet. He still eats some cheese and ice cream but if I can get it lactose free, I do. I think someone mentioned food allergies as a culprit and I agree completely! I believe food allergies/intolerance contribute to all kinds of problems. Your child will not wet the bed forever so hang in there.

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V.P.

answers from Duluth on

Try having him wear underwear instead of pull-ups. When my twins (just turned 4 boy/girl) were training at night they would go in the pull-up everytime. I think it's because they were tired and they knew if they didn't use the toilet it wasn't a big deal. Once they wore underwear (especially those with princesses or Diego) they didn't want to get them wet, they didn't want to go back to wearing "diapers" and they didn't like the feeling of waking up in a wet cold bed. It took a couple of times of getting up in the night to change sheets, but within a week (I know, it's amazing!) they were staying dry. A trick I used for my own sanity, was to put an extra waterproof pad and then a sheet on top of their current sheet. That way when they had an accident, all I had to do was pull off the wet sheet and pad and the bed was ready for round two. We also used rewards. If they stayed dry for a week, they got to pick a prize from our prize box. Now they're dry and they've forgotten about the prizes. I think peer pressure/competition also help in a positive way. "Sidney is wearing underwear at night. Do you want to wear underwear too?" Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Sioux City on

My husband and I used a company called Pacific International Ltd. for our 9 year old son, but the people at the company told us the younger the child the better, it is a little pricey, but you can pay by the month, the number is 800-477-2233

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M.R.

answers from Sioux Falls on

We took care of my cousins daughter for awhile and when we first got her she was 7 and still wet....
First we made her accountable for wetting the bed. She wasnt allowed any more liquids after dinner time and she had to go to the bathroom before bed. We bought a plastic mattress cover and some xtra sheets. We put the sheets in her bedroom in the closet where she could get to them. I did not make a big deal of the fact that she wet, I just told her that if she did wet she had to chage her bedding in the am and put the dirty bedding in the laundry when she was done, she also had to take a shower before school. The bed wetting stopped over a couple of months and she then would only wet if she had contact with one of her parents, eventually she felt safe and comfortable and the wetting quit al together.She had one accident right after her dad moved here and we had a talk about her and what she was affraid of and then she was fine, that was about two years ago. Just dont make it a big thing. Also some people have smaller bladders than others, have you had that checked out? There are pills that will help if it is a medical problem.

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J.G.

answers from Des Moines on

Does he drink a lot of milk before he goes to bed? Milk takes longer to digest so he's in a deeper sleep when his bladder gets full. He isn't awake enough to realize he needs to go. Both my son and daughter had problems with bedwetting. Once we removed milk in the evenings, we had fewer problems.

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C.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a 3 1/2 boy, a 2 year old boy, and expecting #3 in the fall so we are pretty much on the same page. My 3 1/2 year old also wets about 50% of nights and won't get up to pee so I'll be paying attention to the help you recieve, but I think it is completely normal to wet at night at their age. I'm just trying to teach my son to wake up and go to the bathroom if he feels like he has to go and I try to limit how much water he drinks before bed. He has never once woke up to go at night and fights me if I try to take him if he awakens for something else. Good luck and congrats on #3!

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

My boys are 5 and 6. Still wearing pull ups. I tried everything. I talked to the doctor and a part of your brain is suppose to kick in and turn off your bladder or wake you when you have to go... My boys don't get it... We are looking at the alarm for bed wetting this summer. My doctor gave us info for it. There is a pill but once they go off of the pill their brain was never taught and at 15 they could be in the bed again.

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J.F.

answers from Green Bay on

I highly recommend homeopathy

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S.J.

answers from Bismarck on

Hello T.,
My name is S.. I have a 6 year old daughter and a 17 month old son. Some advice I can give you is limit his water and or other liquid consumption around bedtime. Also make a point to have him use the bathroom before he goes to bed. Is there a reason that he may be scared to go in the bathroom by himself? Can he reach the light in there? If not try using a bright nightlight in the bathroom. That is what was wrong with my daughter. She was wetting the bed because she was just too scared to go in the bathroom in the dark. Also I would limit him wearing pull ups during the day. I see a lot with children not being able to feel when they are wet since it absorbs the liquid right away. If you went to cloth training pants or even a generic pull up. I believe that when they can start to feel when they wet themselves they can learn to better control it.

Hope that helps
S.

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A.H.

answers from Lincoln on

Hi T., i feel your frustration!!!! My son is 6 1/2 and still wears a pull up at night and most of the time leaks out of it as well! I think (i hope)he is just now not peeing at night. He has worn underwear three nights in a row and is so excited for himself. Our pediatrition said this is VERY NORMAL for boys even almost 7 year olds. She has not suggested any medical intervention. i understand the wet sheets, cost of goodnights,etc.. Keep in touch with your ped. and hang in there. we left my son in his undies (by accident) the other day and he didn't pee and he was so proud and that is what started our three days no peeing! there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Good Luck! BTW i have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who still wears diapers to bed too.

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N.W.

answers from Sioux City on

check him for food allergies as i went through this years ago with my daughter and when she would have msg then we would have an episode of bed wetting hope this will help

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T.L.

answers from Lincoln on

Our son had the same problem. We had him stop drinking any liquids about 2 hours before his bed time. Then either my husband or I would get up at about 11 pm or midnight to take him to the bathroom. We did this about 4 months & now he gets up on his own to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It was a little h*** o* us to get up - but really help my son get into the habit of going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It was defiantly worth our lost sleep time to get him up!!

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A.L.

answers from Des Moines on

T., what time does your son go to bed? The reason I ask is because you should maybe try not giving him anyhting to drink an hour before he goes to bed. I used this on my girls and it worked great. Hope this advice helps.

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S.T.

answers from Appleton on

Please do not push him or make him feel badly about this. He is only 4. Most kids are not ready to hold it all night until the age of 7. This is not a training issue. It is a biological issue. Withholding liquids is not healthy for anyones diet, either. The best thing you can do for your child is have patience. It will happen when his body is developed enough..in the mean time, please not humiliation. That could scar him for life.

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L.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think this is fairly common. My 4 year old still has accidents during the night occassionally. To help prevent it we have started cutting his liquid intake in the evening. He gets his milk at dinner (usually only 1 glass but we will give him another 1/2) and then a little dixie cup with a tiny amount of water right before bed. He then goes to the bathroom right before he gets tucked in.
But sometimes even when we follow that he just has an accident anyway (and when he does he is soaked head to toe before he wakes up).
If your son is in pullups maybe he mentally thinks it is okay. Have you tried putting him in regular underwear?

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S.K.

answers from Sheboygan on

I'm thinking there are things that can be done, but not a lot of them worked for my son. He simply grew out of it at about age 10. I know how frustrating it is. So I sympathize with you. Just remember that it isn't something he is doing on purpose. It is very often a developmental issue that just needs to work itself out.

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

T.,

Sorry. There isn't much you can do at this age. Most doctors won't even consider it an issue until age 5-8. We found with our son that if we wake him up before we go to bed (between 9-10) to use the potty one more time, he can usually stay dry at night. Once he is about 7, if it is still an issue, some people have luck with the alarm system, but at age 4 it will probably just scare him.

The enuresis treatment center works with kids starting at age 4, but their fees are over $2000. They say to expect it to take at least 6 months to cure.

Good luck,
S.

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M.N.

answers from Green Bay on

Hi T.,

My daughter is the same age as your son (will turn 4 in April) and still wears pull ups. I know it would be great to get rid of that extra expense but I would rather be able to sleep and not worry about waking her up to make sure she goes potty or spending time cleaning sheets. I guess the big thing (but we often forget to do) is try having him /her go to the bathroom right before bed and then in the morning see if the diaper is fairly dry. Otherwise from what I have read biologically he just may not be ready to hold his pee through the night. I don't think there is anything wrong with wetting a pull up at night at this age. I think once he / she is around 6 it might be an issue. I guess if you are concerned I would call the doctor but unfortunately I think it is a very common thing still at this age. - MN

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi T.-

We talked to our pediatrician about the same issue - she said that with boys its always an issue and unfortunately, they are not able control it until they are at least 6. Sorry, I know that's not what you wanted to hear. Its more difficult for boys, simply b/c of the way their bodies are, they aren't actually physically able to feel that need to go, the way girls do. A couple things that you might want to try, watch how much he drinks with dinner, stop all liquid intake after dinner, and make sure that he uses the bathroom prior to bed time. And I think that hardest thing to do is relax about it. Once we stopped worrying about it - believe it or not he stopped too! I also put a crib size mattress protector under the sheet (on top of the mattress pad) to help stop any leaks!

S.

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A.F.

answers from Madison on

I have no advise...just empathy. I could have written your post. My almost 4 year old is the same way. Much different than his sister who was night trained early on. I am just going to wait it out a little longer. I figure that biology wise he might not be ready yet. I don't want to push the issue and give him a complex. Best of luck...I am looking forward to what others say.

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R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Let me know when you find the answer. :-) I have a 5 1/2 year old with the same problem and we DO limit liquid intake (nothing after dinner--6:00). I don't know how he can make so much pee! I do have a friend who had the same problem w/ one of her sons and the problem was he slept sooo soundly he could not wake up to go to the bathroom. They had to do the whole "training program" where he slept on a mat that would sound an alarm when he started to pee on it and they were getting up every 2 hours to have him go. She says he still barely wakes up (like he is sleep walking) and does make it to the toilet, but then pees all over it.

There is an actual condition as some here have mentioned with the nerves not being completely formed that interferes w/ the brain letting the body know it has to go.

I have no trouble w/ my 3 year old staying dry all night and I know it isn't behavioral other than he does sleep really soundly. I just don't know how he can pee through a pull up--the other night it was 2 of them!!

Good luck and know you are not alone.

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A.Z.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't want to discourage you, but I have a first grader who will be 7 this summer who still wears a pull up every night! The doctor says he waits so long to go that when he does go it's at such a force that there is still some left in a reserve in his bladder. Then at night when he's relaxed the bladder relieves itself to empty completely. We wake him up 2-3 hours after he goes to sleep to try and empty the rest out, but he still tends to go 1 or 2 times again during the week in the pull up. You can't get mad at him, but were definately frusterated with still buying pullups and changing sheets still after an overflowing pull up or when he sometimes naps and has an accident in his underwear. He waits to the last minute during the day and now that he's in school full time I can't make sure he goes enough when he should. Start setting a timer every hour to go for a week or so and see if that helps his accidents. It's hard especially with another little one, but you might be lucky to trick his bladder if you stay on task! Good Luck AngelaZ

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H.P.

answers from Green Bay on

The only thing I know that helped me avoid this problem was to be very strict about not having a drink before bed, other than the little bit of water at tooth brushing time. At least one hour before bed, offer a small snack and drink, and that's it. After a few months of this regular routine, his bladder should start adjusting. I also made my son go to the toilet right before bed. Every child is different, and you should also talk with your doctor about the problem in case there is another cause. Good luck!

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H.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

I also had issues with my youngest son, who is now almost 5. I simply limited his fluid intake after suppertime,(no free access to his sippycup, and if he really insisted he was thirsty, he was only allowed a few sips of water, not an entire glass), and that seemed to almost completely take care of the problem. Also, make sure that he is completely emptying his bladder before going to bed at night (as much as you want to, don't trust that he went on his own, keep an eye on that as well. Kids can be crafty). My son's father and 1/2 sister both also had issues with bedwetting, and I believe that it may be somewhat hereditary. My son is way above average for his size (both height and weight), and the doctor thought that it was possible that his bladder just wasn't growing as fast as the rest of him. I would definitely recommend you bring it up with your child's physician if you still believe there is a problem. I am a single/divorced working mother of 4 wonderful energetic children, (13 yr old son, 9 yr old daughter, 5 yr old son, and 2 yr old daughter).

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P.G.

answers from Des Moines on

I have found my bed wetters were the heaviest sleepers.
I hate limiting fluids. It feels like a punishment. People really are thirsty! We would set alarms clocks (not the alarms that go off when moisture is already present) to wake them up in the middle of the night to go. Eventually this helped them to notice on a deeper level and they became successful on their own.

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J.G.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi T.,

Hang in there! My son was 4-1/2 before he was over the bed wetting. I thought it would never happen! He's 21 now! Ha! I can remember the frustration! Just hang in there, there's our time and then there's God's time. It'll happen.

J.

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H.B.

answers from Rochester on

We had the same problem with our daughter. We first started by stopping fluids about an hour before bedtime. Then made sure she went potty right before she got into bed. Then we decided on a date to stop with the Pull-ups and gave her a heads up for a couple days before. I think she knew that she had a pull-up on so it was okay to pee in it. Once we stopped with them she has only had an accident about four times in four months. I hope this helps and good luck!

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L.T.

answers from Sioux Falls on

I've had this same problem with two on my sons. I finally asked if there was a problem and how I could help solve it. My doctor, who had been doctoring kids for centries, told me that these little ones will grow so much in their first 4-10 years of life, but their bladders forget to grow at the same rate and that when they sleep at night, they sleep so hard that they don't feel the "you need to get up to go pee" until they've wet the bed and even then they may not even feel the wet bed. But I and a lot of others here have said, they do out grow that problem. You may want to switch to Good Nights for him instead of Pull-ups. The Good Nights are designed a little differently so there won't be any leaking. And when your son wake up dry, praise the dickens out of him. They love that.

L.

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P.B.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

My son wet the bed until he was about 8, when I had his tonsils looked at. They took his tonsils out and he only wet the bed once after that. If your child's tonsils are big or he gets sore throats, it might be worth checking in to!!

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J.W.

answers from Iowa City on

T.,

My son was the same way. He was fully daytime potty trained at 3 1/2, but struggled with the night time until he was right at 4. What I found was that he just slept too soundly at night to notice the "urge." I limited drinks after 6ish and made sure that he went to the bathroom right before bed. I also poured on the praise if he made it through the night without an accident. Eventually it was done to a few nights a week and then not at all. His ped. said that it is normal for boys to wet the bed well into kindergarten in some cases, but I am sure that your son's "problem" will cure itself before then.

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K.D.

answers from Green Bay on

Try setting your alarm to go off every 3 hours Yikes!, I know.)and wake him to go potty.Keep increasing the time you wake him slowly.. until he starts waking himself up. kinda training his bladder! I've heard it works. Good luck.

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