12 answers

Becoming a Stay at Home Mom

My husband and I have decided it is time for me to leave my job and become a SAHM. I would love to work part time for my current employer, but it is not offered. I have been at my job for almost 10 years. I am liked and well respected there, and they were shocked and sad to hear of my decision to leave. I want to stay home and give the attention to my kids that I have felt guilty about not giving to them all of these years. On the other hand I feel very sad about leaving my job. I get upset when I see my position advertised. Now they want me to help interview my replacement. This was a hard decision for me, and I really don't want to be involved in who is going to replace me. Am I crazy for being so confused? I know this was my choice, but it is still hard to let go.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks for all of your good advice and encouraging words. I was not expecting such a response, but I am greatful that you all took the time to write something. I feel much better about my situation. I know that staying home with my kids is the right move, and I just have to let go. I am going to try to focus more on what I am gaining than what I am losing. Thanks again!

Featured Answers

A.,

I was the same way. When we decided for me to become a stay at home mom, I was making as much as my husband so I knew it was going to be stressful on me especially. I felt like I was giving up a part of who I was. Like you though, I didn't want to miss anything with my children I didn't have to.

I tried a lot of home businesses to try to help with the finances but none of them produced. It was a real sore spot for us.

When we moved to NY though I met a young lady who introduced me to Arbonne as a customer. My sons had eczema very bad to the point my middle son's face would bleed. I was so afraid he was going to scar! The products were wonderful!!

As time went on, I was still struggling with being a SAHM especially now that I lived in an area where I had no family support. I became depressed and my doctor suggested I find something that helped me with both - bringing in some finances and helping me find ME again. Arbonne has done that for me.

Every month I am bringing money in and my business is growing. Even more importantly, I am growing as a person. I am more "together" and I know I am where I am supposed to be. In addition, I still get to be there for my children...one of which is telling me right now he wants my attention. LOL

If you want to talk, let me know. You will be fine. Just don't lose YOU. :)

Hugs,
L.

http://APerfectMoment.MyArbonne.com

More Answers

I know exactly how you feel. I recently quit my job of over 10 years. Like you, my employer was sad about my decision to leave. They weren't terribly surprised because I had been having a difficult time since returning to work in February after the birth of my twin boys. I also felt very sad when I found out they replaced me so quickly- and replaced me a week before I was expecting to leave. I cried my eyes out on my last day. But once I was home for a day or two, I forgot all about them. I now know I made the absolute and right decision. I never thought I could stay at home with my kids, but it's actually been bet than I could have imagined.
I did find a great company to work for..it's called BabyCrazy. It's a direct sales company, no quotas or anything like that.It's nice to get out of the house and meet other moms. So, that helps me feel connected to the outside world. I have small kids, so the products are easy to relate to.If you're interested, check out the website www.iambabycrazy.com/hgaughan. Even if that doesn't appeal to you, I say find a way to stay connected..make it a point to get out once a week without the kids..something that's for you.
Good luck- you won't regret your decision!

I am also a SAHM. I have three children, 15,9 and 4. It got to the point where I felt like there had to be more to life than going to Target and cleaning toilets. Then I Arbonne came into my life. Arbonne is a home based health and wellness company. Have you ever thought of maybe starting your own home based business? It allows you to be that SAHM and not miss anything that you don't want to. You can be home when your kids are sick and not miss any event! It also allows you to still be you. Arbonne has a saying...you are in business for yourself but not by yourself. There is a huge support group and once you become a consultant you will be part of a team. A team who will be there to cheer you on every step of the way and help you when you are down. Alot of us decided on Arbonne so we could spend more time with our kids. You do not have to do "parties". All you really need to do is talk about Arbonne and what it has to offer. Check out my website. nicolemelucci.myarbonne.com

A.,

I was the same way. When we decided for me to become a stay at home mom, I was making as much as my husband so I knew it was going to be stressful on me especially. I felt like I was giving up a part of who I was. Like you though, I didn't want to miss anything with my children I didn't have to.

I tried a lot of home businesses to try to help with the finances but none of them produced. It was a real sore spot for us.

When we moved to NY though I met a young lady who introduced me to Arbonne as a customer. My sons had eczema very bad to the point my middle son's face would bleed. I was so afraid he was going to scar! The products were wonderful!!

As time went on, I was still struggling with being a SAHM especially now that I lived in an area where I had no family support. I became depressed and my doctor suggested I find something that helped me with both - bringing in some finances and helping me find ME again. Arbonne has done that for me.

Every month I am bringing money in and my business is growing. Even more importantly, I am growing as a person. I am more "together" and I know I am where I am supposed to be. In addition, I still get to be there for my children...one of which is telling me right now he wants my attention. LOL

If you want to talk, let me know. You will be fine. Just don't lose YOU. :)

Hugs,
L.

http://APerfectMoment.MyArbonne.com

I went through something similar. Some of the questions you might want to ask yourself are how many hours are you working? Does it feel like alot? You made the decision together.. what brought it about.? Remind yourself of some of these things... if you still feel uneasy..? is there someway to ask for a leave of absence instead of termination? Your youngest child is 1 which would be my motivating factor to make that type of decision..If they really value you as an employee then at least you will have the security of going back after 3 months..

That is a tough position you are in. I would help them pick your replacement, this way things go smoothly and you leave the door open to go back in the future.

A.,

I know how you feel. I transitioned from working full time to staying home when my 2nd child was 12 months. Although I was thrilled to be home, it was the loss of a career. You have put a lot of time and effort I'm sure into your job. I think it is a great opportunity to get to help hire your replacement. If you love your job, you'll probably be glad you helped them find another good person for it. It is a loss, but you are gaining so much more than you are losing, which you obviously know.

We went through a period of financial stress after I left my job, and I finally found a home based business that I can do around my kids' schedules, yet earn a real income. So I have the best of both worlds now. A business of my own, and I don't miss anything with my kids. You'll find that balance and happiness too! Give it time.

D.

I know how hard it feels especially if you love your job. 10 Years is indeed a long time to be at the job.

However, when you do have those moments of getting upset, you have to remember that this decision is something that you and your husband made so in as much as it is pretty humbling to interview and train your replacement, you do have to do this for your company. I'm sure if it were up to your bosses, they would not want you to go but now they are forced to have to get your replacement. Although it's hard to interview, consider it as a compliment. That simply means they trust your judgement on who you think would be best to replace you.

I am in a similar predicament (somewhat). I really would love to be with my son (he's 6 months old) so I've decided to start doing a part time job from home as a travel agent so that in a few months time, I can go ahead and quit my job.

Good Luck to you!

I'm sure that deciding to quit your job was very well thought out and planned. It's always difficult and emotional to start a new chapter in your life. There is nothing unusual about the feelings you're experiencing.

Although, you don't want to help choose your replacement, your employer is relying on your experience and expertise. I would recommend you participate. You never know what the future will hold.

Good luck.

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