Becoming a SAHM??? - Marshfield,MO

A SAHM alternative - work half days?

I just noticed you only have 2 years until the kids are all at school. If you could either 1) wait two years and save up $, or 2) switch to half days now - then it seems the best of all situations to work half days while they're in school.

Keep the family income up, plus be there when they get home from school. :)

What about your husband staying home and keeping the house the way you both want it and god wants?

I stayed home with my kids but I was the lower income earner, I was the one who didn't carry insurance through work. Really running the numbers through my head there is no way you will make it on just his income. Normally day care offsets the loss of income or a large chunk of it. Not when you are adding private insurance, more likely that will be even or greater than the day care savings.

There are tax savings but not in your case since you are the higher earner.

Pretty much if you cannot put your take home income in savings for at least three months you cannot afford to quit. That is the only safe test because once you quit you will probably not get that job back.

Well, since YOUR income is greater then his, it would make more sense for HIM to quit his job and be home with the kids, yes?

How modern of you!

:)

You've gotten some great advice on cutting expenses and making a plan for household tasks and responsibilities.
However,
giving up two thirds of your household income AND going without health insurance? Please think and pray on this some more. The money is one thing but I cannot imagine letting my kids go without health coverage. That's just too important. Families go bankrupt all the time over medical bills, and kids NEED quality health care.
Taking care of our children is not only about the amount of time spent with them, it is also about giving them a good quality of life. This doesn't mean having all the latest toys and gadgets, it means providing a stable home where the bills get paid and being able to take care of them when/if they fall ill.
You also need to keep in mind what you would do if, God forbid, anything should happen to your husband.
Since he makes so much less, and does not have the insurance, it seems to make more sense for him to be the one to stay home. Have you discussed that? And how dependable is his income, does he consistently make the same amount or does it fluctuate?
I'm not trying to discourage you, just trying to encourage you to REALLY think this through, it's a huge step.

I have been a SAHM for the last 6 years. My husband and I made the decision when I became pregnant with our youngest who just turned 5 last month. I will admit at first it was a struggle. I signed up for WIC to help with the food bill. Like someone else had said it is not welfare it was and is to help with healthy food choices for woman and children.
The other step I did was drop and much as I could when it came to bills. For the last 4 years we have lived with the bare minimum.
Researched and redid our insurance for both home and car. We do have 2 vehicles one is a 92 pickup that is my husbands and mine we bought used in 07 is an 02 grand am. My husband is very mechanically inclined so we don't worry much about repair costs since we only have to worry about the price of the part. My husband also has a motorcycle that he drives usually from April till the beginning of October. This as you can imagine saves tremendously with gas.
We dropped our cell plan as low as possible and only had 1 cell phone. This stayed with whoever has/had the kids.
With the cable bill we dropped down to basic and also took the internet down to the slowest speed.
Electric bill- call and ask about a budget plan if you are not already on one.

A lot of this also just depends are where you are at financially before you quit working. If are paying for daycare that money will be available to you.

In the last year I have started to add income by watching my 3 nephews during the day and I get out of the house and get adult time other than my husband by selling Partylite. Doing that also supplements my candle addition..lol

Please make this life changing decision based on reason. How are you going to pay for your dental bills? What if one of your children gets seriously ill? Are you going to have the money to take your family out for dinner occasionally, or to Science World? Do you have 3-6 months of living expenses saved up? What if you husband loses his job or your house needs a new roof? Do you have enough saved for your next vehicle and a few repairs? I know you are looking for encouragement, and I fully support your desire to be at home with your children. I, too, took a break from my career to be at home, but it wasn't without a hard look at our budget, long term savings plan and retirement glide path - not to mention the job security we have from husband's company and full health insurance etc- and it was hard to walk away from the added security of my salary and benefits. However, my husband made almost double my salary - it was a no brainer that I would be the one staying home. I'm not trying to be a naysayer; I just want you to look at your situation realistically. Why doesn't your husband stay home? (his job is with his brother's company - small operations are often hit hard in any economic downturn - are you prepared for this? How marketable are his skills if he does lose his job?) What about reducing your hours to work 3 or 4 days a week? To be honest, if you don't have health care coverage, it doesn't sound like you can afford to be out of work. Taking care of your kids includes providing for them - are you sure your current situation isn't already the best for them? I am sorry that this isn't the "follow your heart" answer you may have been looking for, as I truly applaud that you are thinking this through before making this change. People do make it work on meager salaries, but with added stress. I am sure I will get a lot of flack for saying this, but please put as much time into planning as you are into praying. You are responsible for those kids and I truly wish the best for them and you.

I'm sure your girls will be glad to have you home and you won't regret being home with them and taking care of your home. I don't know about the insurance but just wanted to encourage you as you make this decision.

I left my job when my son was around 2 and 1/2. It was a hard decision because my husband and I relied on our two salaries to get by. I also had health benefits, my husband's job did not.

We made the decision for me to stay at home . We cut expenses in food, gas, and childcare. We also saved money throughout the time that I was working so that once I stopped, that money could be used for health insurance/medical needs. I would recommend you save for this, as this definetly was very helpful to us.

My husband took on two jobs and we were able to make it work. My old job also was very helpful in giving me some paperwork that I could do at home for them. So, I did get some money each month. My husband also started taking courses/trainings in his field to advance in his career.

My son is now 8, and my husband is doing well in his field. I am still a stay at home mom, and have taken to writing, painting, and photography. I am selling my work, and enjoying it.

I don't think we would be at this point if we didn't sacrifice for our family a couple years ago. When you have that desire to do something, and just know that it is the right thing to do, never go against that. It serves a greater purpose in the long run. I know it does for us.

Hi B.,
I'm not sure what kind of job you have, but could you ask to work from home? I felt the same way you did when my daughter was born. Loved my career, but felt pulled to be at home raising her. My husband and I took all the same steps as you to cut corners and plan so I could quit my job and we could keep our heads above water just in case they said no.

When I sat down with my boss to tell her the news (that I was planning to quit), I said that I would love to have both things (being a mom at home and keeping my job) but I wasn't sure that was something they'd consider. I'd been with my company for 2 years at that point. Her eyebrows raised and she asked what I had in mind. I told her that best case scenario would be if I could have flexible work from home hours so I could work around everything that my daughter needs me to do. I've been working from home ever since. That was three years ago. Yes, it's a juggling act, but your kiddos are old enough to keep themselves busy when you need to work. Or you could hire some part time help to watch them while you're working for part of the day. I get up and start working at 6:30 and work throughout the morning, then my daughter and I go do something, then she goes down for her rest time, then she goes to see my mom for a few hours while I'm finishing up.

I'm sure our situations are different, but I just wanted to show you that it CAN work if your employer is progressive enough to take that into consideration. And if there's anything I've discovered with work it's, you never know what you'll get until you ask. This is my second job I've left for either a cross country move or my child and I asked both to let me work from home. They both did. You have to be extremely disciplined though and continue to prove to them that you won't take advantage of their willingness to let you have a shot at it.

If this is something you think could work, and you need any more tips, feel free to email me. I'll pass along all the knowledge I have.

Good luck!
Hilary

Kudos to you for following your heart. It is wonderful also that your husband is on board. I'm sure you will make it work somehow.

Maybe your husband could go back to school to get a higher paying job. I know a couple of men who recently completed community college programs in the medical field that were 2-year or less programs, and almost immediately got hired in good paying, full benefit jobs at the local hospital. One did X ray tech the other did ER tech.

In both cases their wives stayed home with the kids during the day but did have PT night jobs waiting tables, etc.

You only have one life to live, and you seem set on this. I would go for it.

Lots of things to consider & do:
Cut any & all unnecessary expenses NOW.
You could get a job opposite from husband's shift--even PT.
You might ask your employer about switching to PT or job sharing (worked for me).
Your husband (if willing) could get a 2nd job, even a PT job. Or work from home on special projects, etc. if that applies...I don't know your field.
I've done this. Pay off ALL you can while you're working.
Look into the Dave Ramsay plan for getting out of debt if you have debt.
Create an emergency fund.

Hi! About insurance... my husband worked for a small company and what they did was get insurance through a small business association. The association signed up for medical and dental as a group so they got great rates because there were so many members and each business paid the association and the association paid the insurance company. They offered other things as well. Maybe your BIL would be willing to sign up. Once you are home there are lots of ways to save money. I'd start with a really big garden and some chickens (I've got the garden, we can't have chickens) . Try looking for things you can do to generate money at home. Can you babysit? Come up with some cute Rt 66 thing to sell (isn't Marshfield on Rt 66?). Do you have an extra room you can post for overnight guests? Are you brave enough for Ebay? Good luck---

I love being a stay at home mom, but it does have its challenges. Here are some suggestions based on my experiences.

1. Work out a head of time what your responsibilities will be and which house and family responsibilities your husband will still have. People tend to view a stay at home job as easier than a go to work job and it is not.

2. Set up a budget and follow it. Don't forget the money that you used to pay in daycare will help with the income loss too.

3. Set up a scheduled time off for you to work out, go to a community class or just a night out with friends. You will need to have something to do that is all your own to help keep your sanity. 8-)

4. Sounds like your kids are still little, so set up a contained playarea near the kitchen. An area where the kiddos can play while you cook or clean or whatever. Gives them their own area where they are not plagued by too many rules and can just be kids. It also keeps the clutter contained.

5. You might be able to look into WIC and some of the other food programs to help with the budget too. WIC was originally designed as a way to promote healthy eating not as a welfare program.

Good luck

Hi Briget, I see that you've received lots of advice but the best thing I can tell you is to trust what God has placed in your heart. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, put your trust in the Lord and in everything that you do acknowledge him and he will direct you and your family.

I am curious to read some of the responses too. I have three children. 14, 5 and almost 3. My middle child is special needs and will start K this coming school year. She is finishing her second year of Special Ed at one of our local public schools. She does so well and loves it! However, she is one of those children that will always require 24/7 care. She can walk alone and communicating is a bit of a struggle, but for the most part we know what she wants/needs, but her brain doesnt work the way it should. She will always have a mental delay and when she is 24 yrs old, she will probably be at the level of a 8 year old... with that being said, i will probably have to quit work in a few years so that i am able to stay home with her during summers. Right now she goes to an in home daycare, but as soon as she starts K next year, she will lose her full time position. So i want to know how other mothers make it work. Bad thing is, i dont want to be SAHM, but i will for the sake of my little girl... I will have no choice and they come first! Good luck!

I am so excited for you. This is a fantastic thing you are doing for your family and your children. No amount of money can ever replace your role in their lives. I cheer for you! It is not easy, but it is incredibly selfless and admirable.

Have you heard of Samaritan Mininstries? http://www.samaritanministries.org/
They are an insurance-sharing organization for Christians. You pay your monthly fee to a specific family each month who has a medical need. You get the information from the company about where to send your check. From what I hear, people get checks and letters from other members telling them they are praying for them and their need. It might be cancer treatment, some other surgery, whatever. It is working very well, and it is Christians sharing with Christians. Brilliant idea! Go to the website and find out more. It might be just what you are looking for. I think $300/month is a standard fee structure, but I am sure there are variables, etc. to take into account. Also, you will be responsible for your own medical bills for minor things like doctor appointments. But, it is worth it, in my opinion. We take responsibility for our healthcare, and almost never go to the doctor. We use other means for healthcare (chiro, essential oils, homeopathy, etc.). We actually have full healthcare coverage (retired military), but I still don't use the medical system much. Only when absolutely necessary, and then I'm thankful for them in those times. Most people over-use it.

Anyway, feel free to PM me if you have any other questions. And, go you! I think you are brave and awesome for considering this route for your family!!

I quit teaching after my second was born. I was lost for a good two months. I looked at the baby and thought now what. What am I supposed to do with a 4 month old.
But we got into a routine. I eventually babysat for two other teachers who were pregnant at the same time as me. So I was pretty busy with 3 babies.
Another mom of a 4-5 month old and I would hang out and go to the park or she would come over, or I would go to her house.
I have been a SAHM for 16 years. I now homeschool my two youngest, we have 4. I dread going back to work.
You will get into a routine. Use the Y and do some of their mommy and me classes. I did gymnastics and swimming with the kids.
Enjoy your time with your children. Too soon they will be seniors in high school and then off on their own.

Im shocked to hear that you want to become a SAHM now that your kids are in school. We decided that it was best for us as a familyfor me to stay home with our kids from the get go and are extremely fortunate enough to be able to do this but the reason we chose this route was so that I could raise our children instead of working to make the money to pay ssomeone else to raise them. I have every intention to get back into the working world once my kids are in school all day because really what do I need to be home during the day for if Im here in an empty house? 2/3 of your family income is an immense amount to lose and personally I think you will feel the financial pressure once you make this major step and quit. What if you found a way to change your working hrs at your current job instead so that you could be there more for the kids in the morning or in the afternoon once they are out of school for the day? Or take a job somewhere else in the same field that allows more flexibility for you and your family?
Good Luck

hun...I hate to say it...but this is way more of a task then I think you maybe realize...2/3 of income is a HUGE chunk...I have never met anyone who has successfully done this move. I have met a lot who have tried...but could not commit to changing lifestyle. See you will more then likely have to find a cheaper house, possibly trade in cars that you make payments on and then buy one with cash, change how/when you go out to eat, change what clothes types you buy...and the list goes on. You have to be able to make ALL of your household payements, car payments and needs on JUST your husbands income. And you still have to have a buffer. I will pray for you...I do feel that being home with the kids (especially the mom) is an inportant gift to them...that is why I do it...but my husband and I have never lived off of two incomes without children...guess that's a perk to having kids early!