Beauty Input Needed from Hispanic/Indian Moms for Daughter!

S.,
I don't really have any specific advice for you as far as the hair removal/bleaching is concerned. I have heard of the technique of threading for eyebrow removal and I think it can be done on the upper lip as well. But I don't know about bleaching or threading a four year old--I'll leave that to other moms more experienced in that department--I have a son!
The thought that came to my mind as I read your post was that it would be a good idea to expose your daughter to as many facets of ethnic beauty as possible! I'm sure, since you have an amazingly multi-cultural family that you ARE doing so--but it's so important for girls to appreciate features of ALL beauty: white, brown, black, yellow green and purple! Not just the blue-eyed blondes once held as the "ideal" look of "beautiful." Magazines, art galleries, crowds of people, malls, festivals, etc are all good places to point out individual qualities of beauty. Does your daughter know she was adopted and has Guatemalan heritage? Maybe a trip to the library or internet sites will assure her that she looks very similar to most Guatemalans.
Good luck to you and your daughter.
D.

1 mom found this helpful

I think this is a tuff one!! Part of me wants to say that although she may be a little selfconcious about it now, she is young and that little nit of hair prob. would have gone unnoticed if it wernt for all the other little girls (and poss.Mommy) who do NOT have any. And even though its a small thing it makes her who she is is part of her and her and lots of Hispanic?Indian women and girls have the same and in spit of it are absolutely Beautiful!! You should tell her that instead of telling her ways women get rid of it!
And the other part of me remembers how it feels to be different or have something about you that you want to change and if its something as small as lip hair then why not just wax it and help her feel better? Because... today its this but what will she feel uncomfortable about tomorrow? You need to tell her even with all her little faults (we ALL HAVE & are not perfect) thats she will always be a Beautiful Hispanic/Indian Princess!

Maybe it might help to find some pics of Beautiful Hispanic or Indian Woman who have the same little bit of hair on thier upper lip? Im white and i have some too every one does!! God Bless her sweet little heart!!

The more emphasis you put on a "solution" for her, the worst it will become for her in terms of being self-conscious about it. PLUS, she is a CHILD and you definitely don't want to start putting chemicals (bleaches/depilatories) on her at this age. You don't know the long term consequences.

Since she is so young, for now, tell her that this is perfectly normal and that she is beautiful the way she is. Later on, if/when you notice that it becomes a problem with other kids teasing about it (unfortunately, kids can be very mean) then you can address it, although I think you have AT LEAST 4-5 years until this happens. I would focus all my energies on making her feel beautiful and confident and distracting her from this insignificant issue. Make sure she understands that being unique is a positive thing...Caving into these insecurities now will just cause her to develop more serious ones later on.

I think you should tell her that she's perfect just the way she is and see if she forgets about it. Even if it is safe at her age, it would be hard to keep up the hair removal on an on-going basis.

I am half Mexican, half Caucasian and my whole life had dark hair on my upper lips and between my eyebrows. My mom, who is white, didn't let me do anything about it for awhile, but when I was about 11 or 12, I started removing the hair on my lip and in between my eyebrows. It was just so overpowering for my face and I noticed it from such a young age. I now get my eyebrows waxed every couple of weeks. I would reassure her she is beautiful, but also when you feel she is ready, let her try some of the products if it really bothers her. I know it helped me feel so much more confident.

Another thing that really helped is visiting places where women who were considered beautiful looked like me. I grew up in Missouri and rarely saw anyone with darker hair and skin besides my African American friends and people in my family.

All my best friends were tiny blond haired blue eyed girls and that seemed to be the only "beautiful" until I started going to places where women who were looked at as beautiful were not the cookie cutter Midwest idea of beauty. I then began to realize beauty could have many forms and that also made me more confident. That's something that you can do with her now and she doesn't need to be a certain age to do. It doesn't have to be overt, but just spending time in a place where people looked more like me was very helpful.

Best of luck with your daughter!

Wow, that's a tough one. In a perfect world, our daughters would feel beautiful and confident and unique because of their differences.Darn our culture!
But anyway, to let you know if you do decide to do anything about it.As a licensed cosmotologist, I've tried just about all hair removers. Bleach and depillitory creams can burn the skin, and even lighten the skin itself. Also, they only remove the hair to the skin's surface, not to the root. Same with shaving.Mosy people don't realize individual hairs are tapered on the end. If you don't remove the hair from the root, the hair is blunted, making it look thicker.
Waxing is an option, but consider threading.Threading is how hair is removed commonly in middle eastern countries.It's pretty quick, and you don't have to deal with hot wax, which can burn delicate skin.Try looking in the phone book- I know they do it at Franklin Mills Mall.
Good Luck!

Hi there,
Unfortunately, I don't have an answer for you....but rather a suggestion to speak to your daughter's pediatrician. Best of luck.

Hi S.,
I had the same problem growing up but I don't think that I noticed it that young. My mother always used the Jolene bleach on hers and I think I was aware of her using that before I had any idea that I would have to also some day. When I hit puberty around 10 or 11 is when I started bleaching because that is when the hair on my lip got dark enough to be noticable by others. I had a "friend" who decided to notice it out loud in front of our whole softball team, at Dairy Queen after a win no less. just keep telling her she is beautiful no matter what and work on her self image. I bleached religiously from then one but as an adult do it less often now. I've learned it's who I am and I just bleach it when it bothers me. I hope some of this helps.

I'm not hispanic, (I'm actually from England), but I do have very dark hair. While I dont have a strong mustache it is there. I have never done anything aobut it purely becuase it isnt very strong. Also, from a parenting persepctive I think she is too young to be using something on her face to remove it. I would tell her that when she is a big girl she can do something about it. I would say once she turns around 13. That was the age my mum let me shave my legs, get my ears peirced etc. However, I wasnt allowed to wear a full face of a makeup till I was 14. I think she did this so I wouldnt grow up too fast and remember that just becuase I was starting to look like a woman, I wasnt one yet!
Hope this helps give you some ideas, becuase if you do naything now, you'll have to keep it up becuase of the way the hair will look. I'd wait till she can do it for herself when shes older.

I am not hispanic but i am a mom. i would say if it bothers her get some cream for hair removal on upper lip. i use some because i do not like it myself. sally hansen makes one so does nair. be careful and do not leave it on too long. use the cream afterwards. i would do it in the evening when she is not busy. if she sweats after it is put on it may sting. i would do it before she goes to bed.

If your daughter could handle the pain, I think waxing would be better for her in the long run....once done enough the hair will eventually fade/go away completely. I would make an appointment at a nice spa/salon and discuss the situation and see what the experts would say there. Best course of action, tell her how beautiful she is, everyday! It is possible someone/some child has mentioned it and she has grown very self-conscious of this minor beauty issue.
Good luck.

Hi, S.. I'm hispanic and have darker hair on my upper lip (my hair overall is a very dark brown). As an adult, I went for laser treatment to get rid of it in the long term, however, I think the best advice for your little one is to do what many other other suggested and let her know that she is beautiful and many people are made differently.

I wouldn't allow her to use any chemicals for now and perhaps allow her to have it waxed or bleached when she's getting closer to puberty. Keep in mind that kids can be cruel when she starts school so she may continue to ask you to remove her upper lip hair but the exact timing when you will start should be totally up to you. Whatever you are the most comfortable with.

Best of luck!

Wow. I don't really have any advice about this, but thanks for alerting me that we may face this issue someday too (our 20-month old daughter was adopted from Guatemala). If you would happen to be looking for images of beautiful Guatemalan children to show your daughter, you could consider ordering a calendar from www.guatadopt.com. It's chock-full of adorable photos!

I would personally tell her that being different is what makes the world a better place. It breaks my heart that a 4 yr old already feels the pressures of being a young woman. That said, I would never use chemicals on or wax my CHILD. Please put some thought into this and ask your Ped. Good luck.

S.,

I'm not Hispanic or Indian, however, I am Italian and I understand were your daughter is coming from. When I was a child, I remember asking my mom, who has no Italian in her, why I have hair on my upper lip and that I wanted it removed. My mom told me that some Italian women have hair on their upper lip and that when I get older I can do something about if it really bothers me, but for now no one can notice it but me. She also added, whether or not it is true, that if I removed the hair that it will just keep coming in thicker and I will have to get it removed more often. At that age, I knew that I did not want my hair coming in thicker, so I forgot about it and moved on. I am now 28 years old and I still have not thought about or have done anything about the hair above my upper lip. I have a toddler daughter, who I know will be asking me the same question and I plan to tell her my story, plus reinforce how beautiful she is without cosmetics. I hope this helps you and I look forward to seeing what you have decided.