D.D. asks from Portland, OR on November 16, 2010
Bathing a 5 Year Old
At what point do you let your child start to bathe herself? My daughter seems to be a little young to still do everything (like wash her hair by herself) but I am starting to let her wash her body and stuff by herself. I find that I still have to help her along with that. I also ask this because up until recently...my husband and I had been taking turns with giving her a bath. Now he is giving me the excuse of "she is getting to big for him to bathe her and it makes him uncomfortable." Honestly, I think it is him being lazy. But...that is a whole other story I will probably bring up another time :)
So What Happened?™
Thanks! I will definitely try to push her into being a little more independent. Maybe I can have dad do the 'getting ready for bed' routine every night then since I am stuck with the bathing now! :)
Featured Answers
D.P. answers from Pittsburgh on November 16, 2010
Depends on the child, I think. My 7 yo son still needs assistance. Some of his buddies get showers with supervision, some do it completely alone.
I keep thin king I should have bought one of those tub kneelers that I thought was so extravagant b/c I never thought I'd be kneeling tub-side for this long!
4 moms found this helpful
S.C. answers from Fort Wayne on November 16, 2010
I think at 5 they still need help. I don't think she'd be able to wash and rinse her hair by herself. Maybe if you teach her to shower instead of take a bath? It's easier to get totally rinsed in a shower, not to mention it's always clean water.
On the subject of daddy giving the baths, my daughter is almost 4 and my husband doesn't feel comfortable washing her body anymore. He refuses to clean her bottom and vagina. I have to come in and do it. He doesn't want her to think that it's ok for a man, any man, to touch her there. I totally get it and am on board with it. If my daughter gets a bath instead of a shower, he will sit with her in the bathroom while she plays, he washes her hair, but I wash her body. She does good with getting the major parts scrubbed, but I supervise. We'll do this until she can get her private areas cleaned well enough.
4 moms found this helpful
More Answers
K.F. answers from New York on November 16, 2010
Always encourage your child towards independence. The goal for them and you is for them to be fully self sufficient and out of your house. The time really goes by quickly. But she is definitely of an age where she can be taught how to wash herself thoroghly, understanding she will need help with her hair.
As for hubby, he's not being lazy, he is uncomfortable and that just is what it is. Ask him if he would be willing to just monitor her while she is bathing rather than bathing her. Perhaps there can be some kind of gradual transition. If not don't sweat it, just give him some other task to do while you take over bath. I'm certain there are tons of things to do in preparation for the next day.
4 moms found this helpful
J.F. answers from Philadelphia on November 16, 2010
I think you are doing the right thing by helping her, you are teaching her to bathe herself as she gets older. As for your husband he has a valid point. He feels as though she is getting to old for him to give her a bath. Even if you think he is wrong I think you need to respect his feelings regarding him bathing her.
4 moms found this helpful
S.C. answers from Fort Wayne on November 16, 2010
I think at 5 they still need help. I don't think she'd be able to wash and rinse her hair by herself. Maybe if you teach her to shower instead of take a bath? It's easier to get totally rinsed in a shower, not to mention it's always clean water.
On the subject of daddy giving the baths, my daughter is almost 4 and my husband doesn't feel comfortable washing her body anymore. He refuses to clean her bottom and vagina. I have to come in and do it. He doesn't want her to think that it's ok for a man, any man, to touch her there. I totally get it and am on board with it. If my daughter gets a bath instead of a shower, he will sit with her in the bathroom while she plays, he washes her hair, but I wash her body. She does good with getting the major parts scrubbed, but I supervise. We'll do this until she can get her private areas cleaned well enough.
4 moms found this helpful
D.P. answers from Pittsburgh on November 16, 2010
Depends on the child, I think. My 7 yo son still needs assistance. Some of his buddies get showers with supervision, some do it completely alone.
I keep thin king I should have bought one of those tub kneelers that I thought was so extravagant b/c I never thought I'd be kneeling tub-side for this long!
4 moms found this helpful
T.M. answers from Modesto on November 16, 2010
Haha, Dad bailed.
Um, she's probably old enough for the most part, I'd be more worried she didnt rinse off well, I'm sure she'll need you hangin out in there for another year or so just to make sure all the parts got cleaned and rinsed properly. Actually she will probably let YOU know when she's done with you... ;)
3 moms found this helpful
J.C. answers from Lincoln on November 16, 2010
At 5 I supervise the body washing, "Okay, now wash your other leg..."
and I wash the hair. If your hubby doesn't feel comfortable washing her, then don't make him.
3 moms found this helpful
V.W. answers from Jacksonville on November 16, 2010
All kids are different. Obviously, your daughter still needs some help with things. My daughter did too for quite a long time (she has REALLY long hair and just couldn't shampoo/condition/rinse properly on her own)... Now that she is 9 she is FINALLY able to do everything on her own. Although, sometimes she does still come out with some little shampoo bubbles in the crown of her hair...lol.
I say, if dad finds it awkward, then that's fine. Mostly, my daughter liked having company with her at that age, so maybe dad just feels weird with her naked in the bath mostly just sitting there. You can wash and guide her how to wash (and point out places she has missed, etc) and just hang out with her. Yeah... it was kind of a pain sometimes... but that was actually the time of day that she opened up and just TALKED about stuff. ALL her inhibitions disappeared when she was in the bath... lol
My hubby works a regressive shift schedule, so he was RARELY involved with bath time to begin with. With either of our kids (we have a son, also). He is/was either not home yet, or already getting himself ready to go to bed, or already IN bed, most nights.
But yeah.. around that age I started wanting to push our son into doing things like baths for himself... It wasn't weird or awkward so much, but he started getting a little more aware of privacy issues around that time and so I just went with it. He also would get more "chatty" when he was in the bath relaxed.
I kind of miss those random conversations now. :(
3 moms found this helpful
A.W. answers from Chicago on November 16, 2010
My 5 year old still needs help washing her hair but she washes her body by herself. Her Dad and I used to take turns giving her a bath until this summer. She decided she was too big and it wasn't okay for Daddy to see her naked anymore. Daddy felt the same way. So now I am the only one who bathes her (yay for me).
2 moms found this helpful
Email