Bad Day at T-ball

I'd go a little softer on this one - considering it's his first "obligation". Allow him to quit - this time. And then explain that when people sign up, others depend on them.

It's ok if he doesn't want to participate, but next time you have to know before the official sign up. Otherwise it's an obligation that he needs to see through to the end.

No, you should not allow him to quit. He made a commitment and should see it through to the end. I would not sign him up again, though. It may not be for him. My son is five and has played soccer for two years. The end of this season was like pulling teeth, but we made it through. He LOVED t-ball, though, and actually asked to play catch and practice between games, so we'll sign up for that one again.

I would speak with him and explain that when you sign up for something, you have to go every single time. You expect him to be respectful to the adults and other players. If he does not want to play, then it is fine for him to sit on the bench and cheer on his teammates.

As for her opinion- oh well. We all have opinions and lots of them are not positive regarding other people and how they raise their children. That's just something you're going to have to get used to and kind of forget about. Focus on teaching him how to respectfully decline (great life skill) and find something else for him to do instead of T-ball!

L., you'll have to live with MANY more times of people having a poor opinion of your kid. I'm sorry to say that it is part of what you sign up for when you have a child. Only "perfect" kids never have people think poorly of them. Maybe you ask who those perfect kids are? Gee, you're right! There AREN'T any perfect kids!!

So, you have to just let go of not wanting to face the coach again. Your son is lying to you and lying to himself about the spitting being an accident. You send him right back to the next game and tell him that you will be discussing his overall attitude of the game with his coach as soon as the game is over. Tell him that if you don't have a stellar report of his behavior from her, that he will lose his motorcycle for an additional week. The ONLY way he gets that motorcycle back is to show exemplary behavior and attitude during his games. And yes, that means NO complaining.

You do NOT have to put up with this stuff from your 6 year old. He is old enough to know that he does NOT get to act like this. THIS is what you teach him.

And if he starts this up again after he gets the motorcycle back, take it away again until he behaves at the next game.

Spitting at an adult is HUGE. The last thing you should do is let him off the hook for it and allow him to not play. In fact, I would SO make him be out there after that stunt. And then telling you it was an accident... boy...

Do not accept excuses like this just because he lives with a lot of adults. He knows perfectly well what is and isn't acceptable. Never give him an inch here. THAT'S how you teach him that he has to remember that he is 6.

there are two very separate problems here. the first is a child who is doing a sport that he doesn't want to do. the second is a child who is disrespectful to adults. i would make very sure not to get them mixed up.
first off, i am firmly in the camp that no 6 year old fully understands the obligation of being on a team. they just want to play ball and have fun. forcing kids to 'follow through' does not teach them anything but that saying 'yes' can mean hellish drudgery, and that they had better not try new things if that means they're then stuck. it is perfectly possible for 'follow through' to be an ongoing 'lesson' that kids learn throughout their lives, and which is learned in increasing increments as they become old enough to understand it better.
if he really hates t-ball, let him quit, but find out first if it was a bad day or an ongoing issue. do NOT pull him out to spare the coach. volunteer coaches deserve endless thanks and patience, but we don't base our decisions about our kids on their wants. do, however, discuss the situation with her. does your son always complain, or was this a one-time deal? how do you want her to handle any future episodes of rudeness from your son? i would suggest immediate eviction from the game or practice. if your son welcomes this, then he shouldn't be there.
but spitting and misbehaving are not the ways to get his point across. going to bed and losing his motorcycle are good punishments. encourage him to use words, and then listen to him when he does.
stop crying. you need to demonstrate correct behavior for your 6 year old, not let your adult self get so rattled by a relatively small bad day that you melt down. i would hope to hell that you don't 'encourage spitting' and the fact that you see it 'rarely' is telling to me. the goal should be 'never.'
when i am queen, spitting in public will be an arrestable offense. it's disgusting even when it's not directed at another human.
khairete
S.

First he made a commitment to the team. (He stayed with the team for the whole game - that says something.) He needs to finish out the season.
You punished him for spitting.
Before you leave for the next practice, sit him down and remind him of the rules: no hitting, spitting, biting, rudeness, etc.
Remind him that if he breaks the rules, there will be consequences and list them.
Hold your head up, and make him apologize to the coach.
Don't let this incident ruin t-ball.
Heck - my son got kicked out of Sunday School and told to never come back at age 3.
Chalk it up to a learning experience.
LBC

The coach was probably just tired. I must admit, I also would not be well, volunteering my time and having anyone spit on me.. Did any of the other children behave like this?

Does your child behave like this at school?
If not, explain to him, being on a team is like the behaviors we have at school. And the Coach is just like a teacher.

Also I can imagine that it is a possibility your son has watched baseball and many times you see those players spitting.(snuff). so he thinks it is cool to be like them..Explain, we do not behave like that.

Extracurricular activities after a full day of school, can be too much for some children.. Or the rushing to get there can stress them out..

I would encourage him to continue and to try to remember the rules.

Let hm know he is a part of the team and they need to respect the coach and he needs to make sure he is paying attention and trying his best..

And mom, never worry about what others think about you and your child.. if you and your child are doing your best..

Hang in there.. We have all been there.

You need to explain to your son, in no uncertain terms, how to be respectful to adults. You should also pull him out of Tball and NOT let him start a new activity for some time - maybe till the end of the summer. Let him know that until he can behave politely and respectfully, he cannot and will not get to participate in extra-curricular activities. Simply, he needs to EARN those things.

First, find out why he doesn't want to be there. I've found out (from working with a lot of young kids) that they'll blow hot and cold when it comes to sports. One day they're crying because they don't want to go, the next week they LOVE it and don't want to leave. It's something with the ages 5-8. They're ALL like that. They get upset easily over small things and then they don't want to go and they'll act like they will hate it FOREVER.

Then you find out it's because one of the kids or coaches said something. I had one 6-year old say she wanted to quit gymnastics because I let her do a trick 2 times, but the girl before her got to go 3 times. It's usually stuff like that!

If he won't say why, take him to the next game and try again. Yes, the spitting is uncalled for but c'mon, anyone who works with kids has to expect the unexpected. I wouldn't think poorly of a kid forever because they spit on me. Six year old are unpredictable. If it was a reoccuring thing then maybe I'd worry, but a one time thing is not really a big deal.

Basically I'm saying that six-year olds are fickle, so try again. Just because he didn't want to be there one day doesn't mean you should pull him for the season.

(I will also mention that one of my six-year olds didn't want to perform at a tumbling competition. After having her cry about it, we gave her back to her mother and suggested they take her home this time. We find out later that she was upset because she didn't get a chance to finish watching her cartoon because they had to leave for the competition. This made her so mad, that she decided she HATED competing and didn't want to do it that day. Her parents solved the problem by not letting her watch TV before competitions. She is now 9, and still loves gymnastics.)

You punished him for the spitting, so no need to quit over it. He should apologize to the coach, and then continue on.

You don't let him quit to spare the coach the headache. You let him quit because he doesn't want to be there and/or he can't behave while he's there. I don't think six-year-olds should be "obligated" to play when they hate it. Especially because t-ball season, at least around here, has many months ahead. The situation, if it was on purpose, should be addressed separately. As far as I'm concerned, the commitments children make should be reasonable for their age - saying they made a commitment and see it through is ridiculous -- first of all, most kids this age either don't know what they're agreeing to or the parents signed them up. Second, a reasonable "commitment" for a six year old is that he will write a letter to his grandmother by Friday or clean up his room before he can have a play date. Committing to 4-6 month of playing a game and going to practices several times a week is not reasonable. If money was spent to play, he can make it up in chores upon quitting if there is a lesson to be taught. But children are overcommitted as it is - don't force a child to do this for months just to teach a lesson.

Try it at least one more time. If any more misbehavior occurs, pull him out of the game and leave (for good).

This game may not be his thing, but I would approach it as punishment. Let him know that you will not enroll him in other activities for a specific period of time.

How do you "accidentally" spit on someone?
If it was saliva spray, she would have known it was an accident and wouldn't have mentioned it at all. I suspect he's lying and never dreamed you'd hear about it.
T-ball is, well, T-ball.
Not paying attention, complaining about sitting & waiting to be "at bat" is common. Spitting on the coach is not. (My husband has managed quite a few teams.)
Make it clear he was punished for the spitting.
Make it clear he is NOT to spit again like that.
Take him back & have him give it another shot.
As for your embarrassment about your coaches opinion if your kid?
Coaches deal with LOTS of personalities, kids and parents.
I'd suck it up, buttercup, because this is a lesson ALL parents need to learn.
There really are no "perfect " kids!

Let him quit without knowing that he is quitting. When its time for a game, oops you forgot to wash the uniform, oops you have a headache, oops you stayed too late at the mall...

This is too h*** o* you to go through it. So, stop. Its not like its school or some necessary evil.

Also, try to keep him out you and your husband's conversations. When he butts in, let him know that its adult talk. I hate it when my husband's sister and husband allow their child to butt into adult conversations.

Your son could not have accidently spit on an adult. I am glad that you did not fall for that. Take him out of it. It is not going to be a pattern of quitting.

Ditto everything Suz T said! Read it again, she is spot on.

I have always let my daughter try different sports and activities. The rule in our house you must do something and you must finish what you start. So if its tball this session you must finish out the session. She then can choose something else. Does he misbehave in other areas or just at this tball. Does he and you need to learn better discipline strategies. I would get him into karate to help him focus and learn better control. I have to ask did you not see him spit on the coach? When my daugther played tball I helped out in the dug out. I was always watching and seeing what is going on.

A lot of kids have bad days at t-ball. I don't know why, but there seems to be something about t-ball that can bring out the worst. I have 13-year-old and 16-year-old baseball players. Neither one of them enjoyed t-ball. For the 16-year-old baseball is one of the biggest priorities in his life right now. He hated t-ball. I was sad--I thought he'd never like sports. And now he wants a career in sports management. I'd give t-ball a little more time to see if he truly dislikes it or if there is something else going on. How long is the "season?" Here, t-ball, in contrast to baseball, lasted only a few weeks. Observe his interactions with the other players. Has he had other conflicts with this coach? Or does he really not like t-ball?

As the others have said, the spitting, however, is unacceptable. Sounds like you've made that clear.

I wouldn't let him quit or make him quit because you don't want to face the coach or because you think she thinks poorly of him. Maybe this is an isolated incident and he can prove to her that's not his usual behavior. As others have said, there's always going to be a coach, teacher, another parent, etc. who doesn't think highly of your kid, no matter how wonderful the kid. I have active, spirited boys. Some people just love them and others not so much. I always tell them there is always going to be someone in life they don't hit it off with, but they need to try to get along. And it would help him for you to set an example by not letting this one coach upset or deter you. I would tell her nicely you appreciate her letting you know what happened, he's been given a consequence for his behavior and please let us know if there is anything else we can do. Good luck.

I don't have time for all the responses so if i missed it I apologize.

HE needs to APOLOGIZe to her before the next practice. WowIE that is how you start to correct this.

It doesn't sound like he doesn't like baseball it sounds like he doesnt' like her telling him what to do, which is WHat a Coach does. i would be discussing his role and her role so he gets them straight. Talk to him about being a role modle to the other kdis if that is what trips his trigger.