Back to Work - Two Baby Questions Feeding and Sleeping

Hi R.,

So sorry you're having trouble. My sister-in-law had the same issue, and her doctor told her that if she wasn't able to get the baby to take a bottle, she'd consider her 4 month old to have "failure to thrive". My sister-in-law thought she would lose her job too because she had to drive home to nurse the baby.

Although the doctor was really no help (she should have changed doctors in my opinion), my father-in-law took matters in his own hands and put cereal in Lizzie's bottle. The difference in the texture or taste got her to drink it, and from then on, there was no problem. My S-I-L was very angry at her dad for that because he didn't ask her for permission, but considering her own doctor was no help and the baby finally ate and started gaining weight, I'd say she was pretty lucky.

A lot of people will pooh-pooh giving cereal in a bottle (I didn't do it myself) and tell you that you don't do that without guidance from the doctor. I'm all for discussing these issues with a ped, which I always did. But sometimes we just have to do what has to be done. In today's economy, we can't afford to lose a job, as you know. Don't let one single mom make you feel bad for doing what's necessary, including trying cereal in a bottle, so that you can get your baby to eat again. (Buy a juice nipple or one of those nipples with bigger holes, and make sure you hold baby's head up so he doesn't choke.) I personally would stop nursing until your baby has made the switch to a bottle - since you can pump your breasts, he'll still get your wonderful breast milk. Consider yourself lucky on that score - I couldn't pump successfully at all.

Regarding sleeping, the cry it out method is probably all you have at this point since you're already working. Is there a way the toddler can stay with a family member at night time until baby can get past this? The baby is turning night time into daytime feeding so that he can sleep. This is also a problem with him learning to take a bottle in the daytime. Like you, I couldn't work without sleep, so I had to institute this in order to keep my job and my sanity. Being a good employee and a good mom during the daytime hours was more important than letting my baby rule my nightime life and me end up exhausted in the hospital. Many moms in this forum like the family bed and get up whenever their babies cry at night, but most of them don't work outside of the home and can nap with the babies during the day. It is a hard thing to do to ignore baby's cries, but unless the baby has special needs like colic or reflux, or a nervous type of personality, the cry it out approach should work within a week as long as you are not wishy-washy. Google the "Ferber cry it out method" and read about the different ways to do it. I did the all-at-once method and it took 4 nights.

All my best,
D.

I nursed all four of my babies and was a full time working mom. I went back to work with all of them at 3 months, except for the first one and I went back to work with him at 6 weeks. Two of my children NEVER took a bottle. My first child took a bottle with no problem. My second son refused the bottle. I talked to one of the lactation consultants at Vanderbilt. She told me that bottle feeding and breast feeding are different and that some babies cannot form their mouth correctly to bottle feed. My son ended up having speech problems when he was young and the lactation consultant was probably right about the bottle feeding. My daughter ended up doing the exact same thing, but she never had any speech problems later.

What happened with my son was that he switched his nursing patterns. He nursed every two hours at night and he did not take much at all during the day. We started feeding him rice cereal and plain yogurt and giving him breast milk in a sippy cup. It kept him satisfied during the day and then he would nurse all night long. I learned to nurse him in my arms while I slept. People will tell you that you should never nurse the baby while you sleep. I am a light sleeper. I never rolled over on the baby or smothered the baby. My babies would make little sounds when they had emptied out one breast and then I would wake up and switch them to the other side. My son would nurse all night long.

With my daughter I just ended up quitting my job for a year and then went back to work. It was tough for us financially, we ran up some credit card debt that took several years to pay off, but to me it was worth it to be home with her while she was young.

I am a WOHM, too, who experienced the same problem with my son and his lack of interest in the bottle when I returned to work. My son was a 3lb (at birth premie) and so eating well was a huge issue, so I understand the stress of this.

If it helps, it went away after about 2 weeks. In hindsight, I should have better prepped my son for the bottle, but 1)I enjoyed breastfeeding, and 2) he had taken expressed milk before (like you 4-5 times), so I didn't think it would be a problem.

Be patient and if you can, maybe you can adjust your schedule a little (i.e., have your hubby bring the baby to the office or you go home at lunch). Also, you may try different bottles...we experimented until we found one my son would take. He preferred the playtex nurser to the other expensive bottles. (which is why I tell every new mom not to stock up on bottles!!)

Good luck! I remember those days and feel your pain!

this may sound really weird, but I've heard sometimes they will drink from the bottle if they can smell you. Maybe get one of your shirts and tuck around him while the other person feeds him. Worth a try! :) I have two girls that are 18 months apart. It's difficult the first couple of years. Once he gets used to the bottle and begins taking in more food during the day, he'll wake up less at night. I feel for ya, it's difficult to work and be up all night!! Good luck, it WILL get easier. There will be a day when you can sit back while the boys entertain each other!

Hi R., It is so great that you are pumping so that your baby can continue to get your breastmilk! I recommend that you contact the nursing counselors at Nursing Mothers of Raleigh. They will be able to give you some expert advice. http://www.nursingmothersofraleigh.org/

Hang in there! D..

My middle son never took a bottle, at 6 mos, when he could sit up we did a sippy cup and that worked for him at that point. My mom kept a shirt of mine with my smell that she used to calm him down. She was successful with an old fashioned bottle,Gerber I think with the long skinny nipple a few times by keeping my shirt between her and him. I was fortunate enough to work 3-4 hours then home to nurse, then back to work for another 3-4 hours. Is your job flexible enough that you could nurse the baby on a similar schedule? If so then is your daycare provider close to your job, if not look into if it would be possible for the provider to bring the baby to you or part of the way, if not then possibly finding a new provider closer to your job. As far as the sleeping thing I always kept my babies in blanket sleepers or terrycloth/lighter material sleepers because they all kick off the blankets. They are teenagers now and still kick off the blankets while they sleep. They are just warmer at night then I usually am. Good Luck and God Bless!

I have a couple of ideas about baby not taking bottle. I know you have tried several different nipples, but sometimes with breast babies, one has to find a nipple which actually drips milk into his mouth. This is usually a free flowing nipple. Another thought is trying the Adiri bottle which is shaped like a breast. A friend had good luck with her 3 month old taking this type of bottle. She was breast fed too and didn't like the other nipples.
You might want to try the gauze-type swaddling blanket. Seems it stays put so little one can't wiggle out of it. It is light weight so it won't overheat baby. It is just a big square of cotton, gauze fabric.

Hi R.,
For feeding issues: Have you started him on cereal yet? Two months is usually when they can begin to take rice cereal along with milk to hold them over. Since mine were 'guzzlers', we gave the cereal first, and followed with nursing or bottle. Also, are you giving him a bottle with your breastmilk in it? If that's the case, it's harder to suck from a bottle, so his muscles may hurt a little when he has to take the bottle. You might enlarge the hole slightly with a needle to make it easier for him right now. If he takes the bottle with your milk, but not with formula, it's probably a formula issue. There's a huge difference in taste! Babies can also sometimes be irritated by one formula over another. Once his feeding issues resolve, his sleep issues will probably follow suit.
Regarding the sleep issues: I've seen lightweight sleepers for babies. Think about your own sheet and blanket at night for an estimation of what he needs. Babies lose heat faster than adults, especially on a 'hunger strike'. It's also normal for babies to stir or awaken every 45 minutes or so and then drift back to sleep at night... unless they're cold, hungry or uncomfortable of course. Something is keeping him from going back to sleep. If nothing has changed since you took him out of the Miracle blanket, except his eating and covering, it's probably something to do with either of these two things. Also, a true need can become a habit when you repeat a procedure as few as 3 times running. Once he takes in more food before bed, you can help ease him back to 4 hours between feedings (x 3 nights at least), and then 6-8 hours as before. I would be very concerned as well about him taking only 1 oz all day, as it's so easy for babies to dehydrate and mess up their electrolytes. Very serious situation. I hope this resolves very soon for you all!
J.

Bottle: If he's used to nursing, make it as much like nursing as possible. Have Dad hold the baby close, skin-to-skin even, and almost horizontal. Have Dad hold the bottle with his thumb and forefinger and lay the other three fingers on Baby's cheek. Make sure the milk is very warm! Your milk is close to 100 degrees when he takes it; lukewarm milk will taste wrong to him. I think having the shirt that smells like you handy is a good thought, too. And maybe a recording of you singing a favorite lullaby? Recreate the nursing experience as close as you can.

Sleeping: Always a challenge. As soon as you think you've got it licked, baby matures a little more and outgrows whatever you had going. In this case, it's possibly a reaction to you suddenly being gone all day. Get in some serious baby time in the weekends. Considering cosleeping parttime, that is to say, putting the baby down like usual and then tucking him in with you after he wakes in the middle of the night. Your closeness may be all he needs to feel safe enough to sleep well.

For your sleep issue- I had a colicky baby and he was swaddled in a light cotton swaddle blanket until he was 4 mos old. Then, we put him in sleep sack which you can get a BabiesRUs or Target. This was a great transition from the swaddle blanket for him. The sleep sack still keeps them warm (but not too warm). I hope this helps.

I can't help with the nursing but we swaddled my little boy pretty tightly too. When he got too big for it we swaddled him from the armpits down and let him have his arms, then from the waist down and gradually loosened the wrapping. The transition was pretty painless, but we also used a HALO sleepsack after we stopped swaddling. I think HALO even has sleepsacks that bind the arms but leaves the legs in the sack so they can kick.

As far as the bottle feeding goes, maybe try different nipples, latex or silicone. We nursed and bottle fed until my son was 6 weeks old, when I had surgery and was unable to nurse. He like the Gerner NUK bottles, and we went from slow to medium flow nipples two weeks later.

Hi R.,
My son is 14 weeks weeks old and I went back to work last week, he did the same thing, my Mother-in-law found that if she held him tight like you do when you are breastfeeding and in the same position he takes the bottle better, it's worth a try at least. Good luck and prayers can't hurt.