Back to Work I Go

Best advice that I received...

Start transitioning a few days before you return to work. The week before I went back, I dropped my son off for a few hours and ran errands so that I could get used to being away from him. That way when the "big day" came, he was with someone familiar and I knew that he was okay.

To be very honest, the first day I left him at daycare (one wonderful woman and three little ones at her home) I sobbed so hard that my husband couldn't understand me on the phone. I had to pull over into a parking lot b/c I couldn't drive. My "errand" that day was a hair appointment, thankfully nothing urgent! Each day got a little better and by the time I had to drop him off so that I could go to my office, I was a little weepy, but ready to start the day.

On the other side of it, my son is now 2.5 and LOVES "school" as he calls it. When he gets in the car now, he gets excited to see "Miss Trudy" and his friends.

She will be fine and so will you. Take a deep breath and start her with your sister a couple of days before you need to go back to work!

4 moms found this helpful

Just like one of the other M.'s said, I would say you should start transitioning back as soon as you can if you're getting ready to go back to work really soon. You'll get through it, it'll be really hard for the first week or so & then you'll get into a routine. You know you're going back to work to HELP your family, not to hurt anyone. It sounds like you're getting yourself all worked up an anxious before it's even necessary, especially considering you've got a great support system what with your sister watching your baby and all, right? Take a breath & try to relax about it. Your daughter can and will pick up on your moods so be happy that you've passed one of your first big milestones!

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There's no good way to deal with it. I cried all the way to work for the first couple of months. Eventually you just get numb to it since it's something you HAVE to do. Of course, now that my son is older, he goes to preschool and I'm perfectly fine dropping him off because I know he's learning and getting time to socialize with the other kids. It really is hard when they're so tiny though. At least your baby will be with your sister and you can call and bug her a million times during the day and get a play by play of her entire day! :) Good luck! Don't feel bad for feeling bad. It'll get better.

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It is HARD. My older two I left my my parents, they were farmers at the time. My last one stayed home with daddy. I was really lucky, and truly bless. It helps some, but mommy guilty still comes. The first day is the worse, then you make it through the first week, then month. I kept telling myself I have to do what's best to provide for my child and right now I have to work.
My prayers and hugs are going out to you!

2 moms found this helpful

I'm not going to lie: it is REALLY hard!
I returned to work FT after maternity & FMLA leave and my M. & stepdad watched my son. It sucked. What made it more bearable was the fact that if it couldn't be me...it was my M., who I trusted most. What a gift!

1 mom found this helpful

it is hard, you just push through.....be sure that you leave her with someone that you trust, that is my best advice!

1 mom found this helpful

You cry on the drive to work, dry your eyes and sit at your desk and pretend like its all ok. Then the other moms who have done it come and give you a hug and eventually you see that things really are OK and you are doing what you have to do. Then you go home and see that face and you kinda forget the missing them feelings you were having all day. My son stayed home with my husband who works from home and it was still hard even being with family. Good luck.

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It was hard when I had to do it. I worked 5 mintues from my home and my sister brought him to me to nurse (same issue at that age with trust.) So that made it easier. Trying to keep busy at work. I did cry a few times. I really just tried to get back into routine. I went home for lunch every day though, and then seeing him a couple of times during the day helped. I was nursing so it was either nurse him or pump, and when she could she brought him to me. Can your sister do that?

1 mom found this helpful

All I wanted to do was go back home to be with my child. Work did not matter as much anymore. I still have that longing!

It is sooo hard. You are lucky that you have your sister. If that isn't a long term solution, I would suggest starting to look for daycare now so that you have plenty of time to vet them before needing them. As far as emotionally - you will cry, you will call constantly, and you will see that they are happy and just fine with the provider when you pick them up. It is soooo much harder on you than them, but know that there is an adjustment time too, and it won't be a piece of cake. Also know that there is someone caring for them while you are doing what you need to do. Hang in there.

I am very lucky to have my son in a high-quality daycare at my work. I just kept reminding myself that he was getting lots of enrichment and stimulation that I would not have known or thought to provide. They did lots of really messy "art" projects that gave him all sorts of great experiences. (and I didn't have to clean up a thing!) They also gave him a little more structure than I would. In addition, he had more people to love him. He got to be around other kids.

It was really, really hard at first, but it does get better with time if you have a good daycare situation. He is now almost 3 and loves daycare. While he is happy to see me when I pick him up, he also has lots of fun with his friends. He gets lots of enriching activities and learns a lot. His teachers challenge him to do things I wouldn't think he was ready for (but he is).

Finally, to be honest, working gives me a break. So when I'm with him, I'm with him 100%. I feel less stressed out than my stay-at-home M. friends sound. The key for me is that I don't feel guilty about not having a perfectly spotless house, about my son having a later bedtime than stay-at-home kids, or about my husband taking on some of the tasks, like shopping and doing most of the cooking. When we are home, our son is the priority. Because our time with him is more limited, we make the most of the time we do have.

I cried and cried those first few days, but you do what you have to do. I know that I can provide better for him if I work. I also know that no matter what happens to my husband, I am able to provide--that's important to me, having grown up with a dad that became very sick and unable to work when I was little.

You and your daughter will be fine. You'll learn to trust others. Just keep focusing on the benefits to her.

my answer,dont leave your baby, take the child with you. or, since, your sister is staying with your little one. dont sweat it, as long as she realizes that anything that happens to the child will be happening to her, no doubts, no threats, just a bonified guarantee. the longer you are out of the workforce, the harder it will be to go back, and the more you will be pressured to have another baby (i dont know about you, but two in diapers doesnt sound like a grand ideal)
K. h.

oh, how i envy you having your sister to watch your baby! i had to leave mine with daycare providers, who were good but boy, it was so dang hard.
i agree with the wise mamas who have suggested giving yourself time to transition. i wish mamapedia had been around when i was a new M.!
khairete
S.

I'm glad she will be with her Auntie-do you absolutely have to go back to work? Does your sister have experience with an infant? I recall from a recent post that "Little Bits" doesn't sleep much these days..........

I had the hardest time at first when I went back to work (and my daughter was 2 at the time LOL). I also trusted no one! I was blessed that my boss let me set my own schedule, so I worked opposite my husband. So it is my husband that keeps her while I am at work. The first couple of days were horrible, I spent the whole time worrying my head off that something was going to happen. We all know men don't watch the kids as closely as us M.'s do haha. I was afraid she'd walk out the front door and he wouldn't notice, or fall down the steps, or get up on the counter and get a knife...all while my husband was not paying attention. LOL. My fears turned out to be completely unwarranted. My husband is great with her! He pays close attention and nothing has happened at all, except they have a blast together. And she has gotton much closer to her dad. I learned to relax, and now I don't even think about them while I am at work -- well, I mean I don't WORRY about them while I am at work.

I know your baby is much much younger than mine was when I went back, but I think I worried as much as if I did have a newborn, so I understand. You will freak out the first couple days. You will think of your baby the entire time for a week or so. But then as time goes by, it gets easier and easier. Its still really hard though. Just love on your baby like crazy when you pick her up and give her twice as many cuddles. You'll be ok. Good luck mama.