S.P. asks from Colorado Springs, CO on May 21, 2009
D.K. answers from Denver on May 23, 2009
I agree with the posts, when you are ready. You will never WANT to be away from your child, however you should never feel like you are a bad mom pursuing your career or working either. Being a good mom comes in when you are happy, well adjusted and it has little to do with if you are a SAHM or a working mom. I never understood working 60+ hours if you have kids. In this economy though some women have little choice. You factor in gas prices, daycare costs, all of that if you are considering it for financial reasons.
I will tell you, I am a divorced SAHM that now does child care out of my home for a little extra income, my ex left four years ago, when my son was one. I continued to stay at home because I thought it was best for them. I weighed the cost of daycare which was outrageous and found a way to stay home. Now seven years has passed since I worked and I have to find a job this fall, it is VERY HARD to reenter after being out too long, VERY HARD. I have a great resume but corporate america does not take SAHM seriously at all.
So many people are competiting for jobs right now and being out longer makes you low on the list to pick. So if you know you have to return, the sooner the better or at least try part time. I sacrificed a lot financially to be at home and will never regret that, but I see now in my mid 40s what a bad spot I am in now because of those choices.
Some women will say in order to be a good mom you have to be there 24/7 for your children, that could not be further from the truth!!! Kids need you happy, so whatever that takes. If you can financially remain home, you enjoy it, stay home. If you want to get out and back to work, then do that! Kids adjust to what keeps the family whole and happy.
If you can work part time to keep your feet in the working world that is actually the ideal. That way you keep active however are there for your children.
I have loved every second of being home, however I stayed out too long and though my kids had me here, put myself in a very bad position.
C.E. answers from Denver on May 23, 2009
I agree with Christina - it really is a personal decision. We are very lucky in that I wanted to stay home with my children and have been able to.
I wouldn't change it for the world and I'm so glad I've been the one to get them ready to go to school and have seen all the milestones when they happened! I can't imagine having to leave them with someone else for the day - but that's just me. I know there are wonderful working moms, some out of necessity and some because they have to.
I know we haven't helped much with giving you an answer - but it really is a personal, family decision. What can you afford to do? What do you want? What's best for your family?
Good luck and God bless-
S.M. answers from Casper on May 23, 2009
Pray about it. I think those children were God's before they were yours and he knows what is best for them and you. You will be blessed whatever he says.
C.V. answers from Denver on May 22, 2009
Honestly... It varies based on your financial needs, ideas of how you'd like your child raised, and what is comfortable lifestyle for you...
As a 24 year old mother who got pregnant a month after graduating college and moving across the country I had to return to work. I was lucky to even get 6 weeks maternity leave. If I had the choice I would have stayed home for about a year at least with my little girl.
I stayed home with my daughter for 6 weeks and then returned to work. I want her to be breastfed as long as possible & if your breastfeeding this could be a huge part of your decision. I pump 3 times a day at work for a 10 hour work day. I was lucky to have my brother to watch her for the summer since he's on break between semesters. However, come Sept I have some child care decisions to make. I do not want to do day care, but the price of in home can get costly.
I realize I am blabbing about my experience, however, one way I found was good to make decisions is compare peoples stores and be true to myself to see what kinds of methods or ideas would work into my life.
You really need to do some soul searching... do you want to return to work or stay home? What options can you afford? Who will watch your kids and whats the cost involved? Etc.
Good Luck in making your decision! C.
K.P. answers from Boise on May 26, 2009
In my opinion, our children are our careers as mothers. We can do whatever we darn well want after we have done our jobs as moms. If you are wanting to go back to work just to satisfy your ego, I feel that is selfish. If you must work to pay the bills, you have options. For example...I know my husband is going to be laid off in November, and I have been a SAHM for seven years, and still have a 4 yr old at home during the day. So, I recently found a job as a Caregiver in an assisted living home working overnights. I go to work at 10:30 at night, so I am still able to have dinner with my husband and kids, and tuck them all into bed before I leave. I get home at 6:45 in the morning, so I am able to get my son ready for school. My daughter and I take naps together, and I sleep a few more hours after my husband gets home from work. Yes, this is hard to pull off, but it's way worth it not to have either of my kids in any sort of daycare. No other person can replace you as mommy. Mommy care is always better than daycare, no matter how much you tell yourself that your baby LOVES his/her care provider. I have always had the mindset of, "why have kids if you are going to give them to someone else all day to take care of?" Seems silly to me. So, to answer your question, when your kids are in full time school (1st) grade is a good time to work around their schedules. If you have a baby at home, you need to be home night and day to take care of and bond with him/her. Of course, this is all just my opinion, take it or leave it.