Back to School Joke

The only one I know is:

The alarm clock goes off and the person who has been lying in bed moans and complains. "I don't want to go to school! The kids hate me! I don't like the lunches! I'm tired. What if I can't figure out my schedule? Can I just stay home just today, please???"

And her husband pushes her out of bed and says "no you have to go to school! You're the principal!"

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Q: How is an English teacher like a judge?
A: They both give out sentences.

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Patty: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Patty: I've already got one rabbit at home now!

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Teacher:- I told you to stand at the end of the line?
Pupil:- I tried, but there was someone already there!

What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

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Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."

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Why did the students not want to go back to school?
Why?
Because they didn't want to have to find a back to school joke!

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My daughter is starting 8th grade, so this isn't school related but she thinks it is the funniest joke:
knock knock
who's there
interrupting cow
interrupting cow (other person moos really loud at this point) who

It cracks her up, maybe it would work for your kiddo :)

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try Bing next time.
http://www.schooljokes.com/first_days/index.shtml

This one was simple enough to remember:
How do bees get to school ?
By school buzz !

This one too:
What is the first thing a little snake learns in school?
Hiss tory.

This one is long, but kinda hits home to me. (more in parentheses later at the end of the joke).
It was the first day of school. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise.
He seized the lad, dragged him into the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused.
Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. "Now," he said, "are there any questions?"
One girl stood up timidly. "Please, sir," she asked, "may we have our teacher back?"
(So - this one hits home b/c once when I taught elementary (3rd grade), I was 22 years old and the principal's husband was in the school. He saw me, and thought that I was a student! Perhaps a 5th grader, but still. He told me months later that his first impression of me was that I looked to be like a student I guess.)

HA! -- Teachers always seem happy on the first day of school. That's because they're getting paid to be there. We kids have to do it for free.

@Lisa - my son is 4 and I just taught him that same knock knock joke. He LOVES it.

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why did the chicken cross the playground??

to get to the other SLIDE.

sort of sounds like a cute icebreaker get to know you ease the first day jitters type thing.

are you sure it's a joke about school and not just a joke that she brings for back to school????

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Who said she had to bring a joke....and why?

Sounds kind of lame, but if the teacher said to do it, how about a WAX APPLE?

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Well this probably wouldn't be appropriate for her to take in for all the kids to hear (it mentions beer), but you could email it to the teacher, he/she would probably love it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWNmqdLmAfc

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