9 answers

Back to School Anxiety

Is anyone else experiencing back to school anxiety with their children? My daughter will be 8 next week. She has always had a very outgoing personality. However, lately she has become somewhat shy. Since school started she is crying before school, after school and before she goes to bed. She tells me that she misses me and that she wants to stay home with me. Now last year the same thing happen, but not as bad and she eventually got over it. I am at a loss for what to do... Anyone have any suggestions??

I have already contacted her teacher and the school guidance counselor to let them know what is going on. The guidance counselor did sit down and talk with her, but it seems like that was only a small bandaid on the situation.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

How about having her meet w/a counselor OUTSIDE of the school system?

The change of venue and ideas may be helpful.

Ask her if anyone is bothering her.

Get her a "back to school" gift, fun time, new celebration plan. Start it now, right away.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

How about having her meet w/a counselor OUTSIDE of the school system?

The change of venue and ideas may be helpful.

Ask her if anyone is bothering her.

Get her a "back to school" gift, fun time, new celebration plan. Start it now, right away.

2 moms found this helpful

Her teachers and counselor are not willing or able to really get to the bottom of things like you are. Bandaids are all they usually offer. I think it is worth looking onto if her classmates have anything to do with it. I would do this in a very round about way though. How I was always able to find things out was to lie in bed with them in the dark and just talk. Gently bring up some kids and situations (like the bus ride or lunchtime) that may trigger her sadness. Sometimes kids are unable to vocalize what is really bothering them or are just afraid to say. For example-when my son was that age he was acting unlike himself for a couple of days. At night during our talk it came out that one of the boys in his class was telling him outrageous tales about an alien in the moon or something and swearing it was real. Now my son didn't believe him but was really offended that someone would outright lie to him. We talked about it and he was fine after that.

It could also be that she just needs to get used to her new situation. Once everything become normal she may lose her anciety.

2 moms found this helpful

Mama,

Take heart that some of the tears may be tiredness and adjusting to all the transitions which have taken place: likely, earlier bedtimes, earlier mornings, having to be a participant in school all day. She misses you because being home with you means that she has different expectations to meet, she gets more playtime and she has your attention.

None of these are bad things to miss. Add to this the fact that she may or may not have her buddies in her group, or some friendships may have changed over the summer.

I would give it a month or so, and then if you are still seeing distress, talk again to the counselor. Sometimes, kids get into the habit of getting upset at certain transitions. At other times, there is something deeper underlying their upset. I have nannied for a lot of families during back to school times (and my own son, included) and have seen that this transition back to schooling can take a while. This is why I suggest a month. At some point, she's going to get to know the routine, the kids in the class, and that no matter what, you aren't keeping her home from school. This experience will help her to get back on track.

Unless something significant has happened recently which you think may have contributed directly to her shyness, I would give things a little time. I've also observed that the times around birthdays, developmentally, can be tough, so I wonder if that might not factor in somehow, too, and perhaps this is how it's manifesting.

Good luck-- I hope things improve. Be patient.

2 moms found this helpful

Is there something else going on in school teacher isn't aware of? What does her teacher say she's like during the day? If she isn't noticing anything odd, or out of place, perhaps it's the adjustment period. She did just spend an entire summer with momma. I will recommend that you do not nurture her behavior. Try not to worry.....Reassure her, talk positive, tell her she'll be making new friends and you can't wait to have them over to meet them. Hopefully that will spark some positive thiking on her part. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

School counselors cannot provide the help that a teacher can. I was a guidance counselor. We are good at group guidance sessions, but individual counseling takes more time than we have to give to the issue (hence the bandaids).

Updated

School counselors cannot provide the help that a teacher can. I was a guidance counselor. We are good at group guidance sessions, but individual counseling takes more time than we have to give to the issue (hence the bandaids).

1 mom found this helpful

I used to tell me kids that everyone has a job to do during the day time and then in the afternoon/evening we all meet back at home for family time. Mom has her job which is (fill in the blank), dad has his job (fill in the blank) and your job is to go to school and learn so you can come home and teach me all the new wonderful things you were taught today! I

1 mom found this helpful

You could try buying matching bracelets. Then you wear one and she wears one. That way you can both have something to smile about during the day.

You could even get a special charm bracelet. They sell cheaper ones.

It's probably just transitioning from being at a comfortable, loving home to a school where there is expectations and frankly, no one really loves you. Hopefully it will pass!

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

My son wouldn't go back to college and I want to die, that said, I hope your daughter's educators and paid professionals will know what to do in her case-such that this will never happen again. Best of luck-she probably just wants you to feel loved-could it be that she is worried about you while she is at school? It's baffling.

1 mom found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.