Back Luck in Everything I Do

I wanted to give you a little perspective from the other point of view. I have been invited to lots of parties (Candlelight, Tastefully Simple, Jewelry, etc.) that cousins or friends have thrown. I NEVER go. And it's nothing against them. I just can't stand going to those things. I'm always so afraid of hurting their feelings, but it's just not my thing. I try to be upfront about that when I respond, but some people might not be so forthcoming. I guess my point is, don't take it personally. As far as doing things for others and not getting the same in return, I guess you can only focus on things that you can control. You can control how you live your life and the example you set for your kids; but, sadly we can't control others. I was brought up Catholic, and I guess it's just ingrained in me that you give of yourself and never expect anything in return (following the example that Jesus set for us). Not an easy thing to do, but if you truly in your heart follow this, it does make you happier. I try to appreciate the small things I get - like hugs and kisses from my kids. Just keep being the good person you are, and don't worry so much about what others do or do for you.

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Okay...back it up. You have one failed business venture, and that counts as bad luck in EVERYTHING you do? As someone who has been in the unemployment line way more than the one for a promotion, I know how tempting it is to catastrophize the situation. I don't know your work history, but one opportunity that didn't pan out hardly counts as bad luck in "everything". IMNSHO.

I'm not discounting your frustration. It's certainly understandable. Seriously, though - is there truly nothing you have ever done that was a success, or at least of which you can feel proud? Jeez, you yourself mention how proud you are of your beautiful children. That's got to count for something!

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Oh P., please don't be discouraged! I too am in the jewelry business with lia sophia and have been for 3 years. There are always ups and downs in the direct selling business. I feel for you because I have been there too. I think the hardest time is starting off with your business. I don't know what jewelry co. you're working with, but whatever it is your manager should be helping you with this. I always do my advisors first show for them and work my butt off to get them the bookings they need to get their business off to a good start. Here's a little info that I can think of to offer you for boosting your shows. First off, don't do open houses. You need everyone there at one time so you can let them know about the jewelry, if there are any specials, what they get for hosting a show, and then finally you need to play a booking game. Like I said, I don't know what co. you're with, but I'd be happy to share some games, ideas, etc with you that work for me with lia sophia. I have a team under me of about 20 girls.......and we ALL go through our ups and downs. Please let me know if I can be of assistance in helping you get your business going ( I feel for you!)

And FYI about the economy.......with my company, sales have been up these last few months. We have awesome sales and hostess incentives which make people want to have parties so they can SAVE money. Push any saving your company offers. There are definitely those who won't can't buy the jewelry now, but there are many others who can.

Please remember that when God closes one door he opens another. You may not be in the path he wants you right now and he is guiding you to where he wants you. You CAN do ALL things through Christ! I'll be praying for you P..

P., I really don't think it is bad luck that is after you. The economy is not the greatest and people do not have extra money to spend on expensive jewelry, I have been to those shows and know how pricey the stuff is. It can also take a while to get things rolling. If you still want to pursue it maybe hold a party with one or 2 other lines, maybe jewelry, Pampered Chef, and Tastefully Simple. See who else is selling it and ask if they want to hold a joint party.

Take joy in your accomplishments that no one else can accomplish. You have 2 beautiful children that God gave you to raise, you and your husband, nobody else.

If you think you are being negative about life try and see the positive in things (glass half full versus half empty). It sounds trite but it really works. Maybe do some volunteer work.

this is a very bad year for selling and house parties. I have been selling handbags for 5 years. I used to make anywhere from 20,000 a month in sales to 6000 a month in January. This is not your fault. It is the economy. things will get better in the fall. Christmas is the best time of the year. Keep the faith!

Unfortunately these are not the days for selling jewelry. Wait until the economy stabalizes a little or advertise on mamasource at holiday times etc. Try a business providing a service that people NEED not want. Like childcare. Done out of the home and brings in good $ and it's good for the self esteem. Whatever you do, keep positive. That's the only way things work out.

Hi P.!

If you have one good friend to confide in, one person who would be there at 2 a.m. in the driving rain to be by your side, then you don't need anybody else. It's nice to have a lot of friends, but I've found I'd rather have one or two close women friends and the rest can be acquaintances - the kind of people you only talk to at a child's sports game or PTA meeting. So don't worry about not having a lot of friends, it's not a reflection on you to only be really close to a few people. It's how most of us are.

I have to agree with what was said below about what you think is what you have. We can speak things into our lives just by voicing it. If you feel you always have bad luck and discuss it all the time, then bad luck is what you will have. We all have times when life isn't going our way. Getting in an accident with your brand new car, kids getting sick the day before vacation, losing a job a month after you make a big purchase. It's just how life is sometimes and it's not a personal affront when these things happen, or an indication of how good or bad someone's luck is.

Try to stay positive. I know it's hard when things aren't going the way we want them to, but as my very wise mother told me when I called her in tears, frustrated because my then only two children came down with the stomach flu within hours of each other...well you've had 364 relatively good days.

First of all...the economy is horrible and people have stopped spending on luxuries such as jewelry, so don't beat yourself up! Second, you will never be successful in business if you solely rely on friends and co-workers - you need to get out there and network!
I sell Mary Kay and have been doing so for over a year and I love it...but it is work to get customers. I go out to businesses and ask them if I can place a box at their establishment for a giveaway of a $50 Gift Certificate and sometimes I will do a giveaway for the Mary Kay certificate along with a store gift certificate as well so the company will get some business from letting me do this. Also, go to places where your particular clientele go (restaurants, stores, etc.) and hand out coupons or certificates with people - say you see a lady who is wearing a lot of jewelry, go up to her and comment on how beautiful her jewelry is, make some small talk and give her a gift certificate for some free jewelry with you card.
But, as I said, the economy is really rough for people right now so be patient and go out and network. The odds are WITH you...you have already gotten the "no's" out of the way so all that's left are yes's! Good luck!!!

Hello

I think this is really bed time for selling anything I do have some jewelry on etsy but seems like people don’t have money and they think twice before they spend on anything.
Just wait for right person to buy some of you stuff.
I do go to the show s so I now this stuff is expensive and when you start you have every day new idea but is so hard to sell .Economy is really bad.
But think positive.

Good Luck.
I.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way :O( As someone who has suffered with bouts of depression in the past, I really think that is what you're going through right now. I suggest you go and talk to your doctor and see if he can get you on a mild medication. I'm on a low dose of Zoloft and it has made all the difference in my outlook on life. Good luck!

What you think about you bring about. What is your self talk. like? What do you say to yourself in your head.
Most libraries carry the movie called "the Secret". You might want to start listening to some things by Brian TRacy, Toni Robbin, Wayne Dyer

"You can have what you say, but you keep saying what you have:

Hangin there. I am the same. I feel like I go out of my way to help everyone else and when I need something, noone is there. I do not have alot of friends either and not sure why. I feel like there is something wrong with me. Maybe I put negative sstuff out there so noone wants to be around me. Hangin there. Be the best person you can be. Maybe things will get better for both of us.

I am the parent of a 13 year old teenage son - makes me crazy sometimes but I love him!!!!!!!!

I personally don't wear jewerly and I don't know many moms with tots that do. Besides that, it's rather expensive.

Instead look into a company called "Uppercase living". My sister went to a party and now has 3 different areas of her house that is the main focus of Uppercase living. She'll be having another party soon in which I will attending and will soon be buying a couple items. It's a pretty new company so I think lots of people will be soon catching on to it.

~C.

So sorry to hear that things are just not going well for you. I think one of the problems with these kind of businesses is that when there is a recession like we are in now no one is going to want to buy jewelry, when families are trying to just put food on the table. I can pretty much bet it has nothing to do with you, it is just the economy in general.
The person who sold you the franchise made it sound so good that it is hard to say no but they fail to tell you what could happen.
A dear friend of mine got into Stampin Up and she really enjoyed stamping and scrap booking but found it hard to sell the items when money is a problem for so many people. She ended up going out of the business and sold most of her stock on ebay. She said she would never get into a franchise where you have to book parties and go to peoples homes again.
Don't be negative about life. If this is not working for you close the book on this chapter and move on to the next. The Lord has a plan for all of us and if we just trust in him he will show us the path. Sometimes we miss read what he wants for us and we end up troubled or depressed. Just take a step back and reevaluate what your next step will be. That may be to get out of the Jewelry business and look at something new.
Remember there is no such thing as a way to get rich quick. It all takes hard work and some of us will never be rich but happy.

God Bless.
S.

It is very hard to sell without booking parties. I know in my area, several of the "home party" dealers have banded together and are offering Ladies Night parties at various restaurants, businesses or bars. By grouping together, they have a better chance to sell even to those who came for jewelry and also bought purses. Maybe you could network with others in your area. Best of Luck to you.
L.

P.

I wouldn't blame it all on you. I have been in direct sales for 17 years - I sell kitchen tools. People still have to eat are looking for easier ways to cook at home and save money - so our business has not been hurt as bad as others. I have many friends who are selling with jewelry companies and they are great at direct sales. But, with this economy people are not purchasing frivolous items - even in the fall which is our busy season a friend who usually does 4-5 shows per month was barely doing 1-2 shows a month last fall. I had one jewelry direct sales friend who was begging for bookings last fall. It isn't just you!

MH in Elk Grove Vlg.

Hi first of all quit beating yourself up!!! Having a business and making it work is a challenge for anyone. A as far as these friends go cut them loose!!! You don't need them. You can have a much fun by youself and with your two children. As a suggestion, read Your Erroneous Zone by Dr. Wayne Dyer it will make you feel better about yourself and dealing with these so call friends of yours.

P., I own my own business as well. The difference is mine is not home shows and I started the business from the ground up. We are luckily growing but we have definitely seen a bit of a down turn with this economy. Running a business is hard and takes a lot of time and dedication. Be proud of yourself for doing it. Keep telling yourself you am sowing the seeds for the future. YOu never know when they will actually grow and become wonderful blooming sales. In the meantime, take advantage of the summer and enjoy your children. Plan to go back to the full sell in fall.

Hang in there, things look like they are on an upswing. If you want to talk offline feel free to email me. I have been in business six years this month so I may have some ideas I can share to help you keep the faith or even grow your business.

Good luck,
P.
____@____.com

BTW, I do sell franchises for my business. There are no home shows or weekend hours. I doubt you are looking for a new business venture but I thought I would mention it.

First you try to hard...I've been that way most of my life as well. Stop fretting about it and just concentrate on your family and being a mother...most people would be lucky to have one good friend. One good friend is better than a dozen come and go friends.

Two millions of men and women join direct sales opportunities and a low percentage actually make it work...that's not your fault. My mom and dad and MIL/FIL tried Amway for years. My MIL has tried Avon, Tupperware, and sewing things for people. She's extrememly friendly, but never made those businesses work. My husband joined Ambit and couldn't get anyone to sign-up for the discount on their gas bills let alone sign-up to sell it. I've been selling Beauticontrol for three years and have a handful of clients. And you don't get much more friendly than myself...I can talk to a complete stranger in a line in the middle of no-where in about 2 seconds of walking up to them.
But I'm just not a sales person.

Your feelings are probably because your missing something you can't find or figure out. You worry too much and sounds like your lonely.

For me things turned around quite a bit when my husband dragged me to this church we are still going to seven years later.

I think everyone in direct sales has had this feeling at one time or another. Although I don't sell jewelry the business concepts are the same. One thing I took for granted is that all of my friends knew what I was doing and would volunteer to do shows. Not a single friend or family member came to me to ask to do a show when I started. Although they all told me how much they loved the product and bought at an open house I had in my home. I realized if I didn't ask or tell them I needed help they wouldn't know! Every friend agreed to do a show when I asked. Be sure to tell them it is helping "you" when they do a show or place an order. Most people just have to be asked. I was way too passive when I started by business. My sales really shot up when I started just telling everyone what I was doing and asked them to help me. At first I felt "pushy" but I realized that was the only way I was ever going to make my business work.

I too have had an Open House with one person (my mom) show up! It happens to everyone so don't feel bad. The last time that happpened, I called everyone I invited and said " I really missed you at my party and didn't want you to miss out on our great specials" Over half the people I called placed an order and it turned out being one of my best events. Don't give up!

What jewelry do you sell? I too am in the jewelry business, perhaps I can help.

LET GO & LET GOD!!!!

No such thing as "bad luck" God has a plan for you and we all deal with trails, we just have to learn to "stand up under them". Do you attend a church, go back, reacquaint yourself with your brothers and sisters in Christ. If not find one they are agreat source of comfort and JOY! and eventually, potential business. It may all be in His plan.
you cannot see your future if you are always looking at the past!

Join the club, P.. I went into a candle business many years ago, being told I would be so good at this. I have two people show up for my first show in my home. Got to the point that I felt I was begging people to book a show. Would call my up-line for help and felt that I was being put down for not having any shows. Finally decided to leave home shows and do something else. Seven years later, I do demos in a store and am having a blast. The jewelry business may not be for you - but don't stop trying yet.

I feel for you as I am in very similar situations right now. It is hard especially when you feel unsupported by those around you, namely "friends". I can say that attitude has a lot to do with it too. And yes, negative breeds negative as does the law of attraction- negative attracts negative and postive attracts positive. Have you ever read the book or seen the video called "The Secret"? I suggest watching it. If you need someone to chat with and just hash things out feel free to contact me at ____@____.com. Sometimes it is nice to know someone else has gone through the same things!

Dear P.,
Please don't be so hard on yourself. Being unable to sell jewelry isn't a sign that things are going bad or that you have bad luck. The home party business is very competitive, especially with jewelry and especially in this economy. The challenge is that to get your business started you always have to start with friends and family and branch out from there, the hard thing is to stay on it and to constantly be working at it. I have been doing a few different home party businesses over the last ten years part time (I work full time) and I finally quit my most recent home party based business because I was burnt out and after three years I simply got sick of the process, I don't want to pressure people and stalk them and call them ten times to have a party, and that is just me. There are people that are very successful but I can tell you that they put tons of time into it and I was just not willing to spend all my time and effort into a product that supposedly "sold itself" and I really wasn't making enough money to justify my time (again this is my experience). Anyway, if you want to succeed, you should call the person who recruited you and ask for additional assistance and help in getting you started, going to meetings and participating in conference calls will help you stay focused. There is plenty of networking to be done, but you really have to put yourself out there. Good Luck! You can post your business on MamaSource for free and offer coupons and incentives.

First, you have to change your way of thinking. Honestly, positive thoughts can make a HUGE difference in how you succeed in your business.

I also sell through a home-based business (Pure Romance) and the start up has been tough, but its starting to pay off now! Are you ADVERTISING?? put flyers up at spas, salons, grocery stores, local gym women's shower rooms?? Have you bought postcards and sent out to local places? Do you have business cards that you can pass out to ANYONE that you talk to (cashier at the store, lady in an isle at Target, leave one when you pay your bill at a restaurant)

These little things alone can help generate interest in your business!!!

Vistaprint.com can be your best friend....free business cards, free postcards, etc, just check their free section. Then all you pay is for shipping! There is no gimick and i order all of my advertising products from them.

Good Luck and stay motivated! It's just like any other job,y ou will get out of it what you put into it, so make the extra effort and do some legwork while your kid is sleeping at night or whenever you can squeeze in a couple extra hours of work a week1

Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see a bird that had the blues? One reason why birds an horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.--Dale Carnegie

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.--Bernice Johnson Reagon

Hi P.,
I am really impressed that you are so open to trying so many new things. That takes guts. I think it is great you are helping people and doing things to change your life. I work as a consultant for business risk and would say that jewelry is a tough sell right now. Do not be down on yourself because people will see it and they will not see the good energy in you. Think about the things you like to do and maybe try to find the business aspect in those things. For instance a good girlfriend of mine really wanted to own a day spa....but ok- going from someone who loves a facial to owning a spa or her own business for this is a huge leap. So she took a baby step and took a course for certification to be a masseuse. Now she gives massages for 45 bucks an hour until she gets some real experience at a proper day spa. She says her plan has many small steps. Next she plans on taking the money from the massages and putting it into learning to do facials. Knowing her approach, I would say that in the next 5 years she is going to be a very key manager at a day spa and on the road to really running one of her own.
You are really a great energy but maybe some perspective on how to make changes would be good. Everyone who has been successful has had to pay for that upfront with their time, training and own investment. You have had the lessons now that others will never get because you tried. I think since you are taking the time out to get other people's opinions only shows that you really want to find the right path. I can not say that everyone working for me would be so open. I wish they would be.
All the best, V

Hi P., You are just at a place of "change" for you. Remember there there are no "magic" cures, life is a process. I'm not sure of your religious backround or lack of, but your world is telling you "things" needs to change. I have been there myself. I do not think turning to pharmaceuticals is a good 1st choice. Try starting with the DVD "The Secret". This is a great place to begin a positive mind state. There is also tons of great books out there, go to the store or the library & just see what titles you are attracted too..Myself I keep God in the center of it all & thank God for all things in my life. But that is just my belief system. Out of our darkest moments comes our brightest achievments... Think back on your years of life, you'll see that we grow and change the most through what we "label" as difficult/bad times but those are just that labels we create. Good luck, start your journey today, you are worth it!

So many of those in-home demonstration businesses are pyramid schemes, there's no reason to blame yourself. My mom went through the same frustration when she started selling Avon. A lot of it is luck, if you happen upon an area where there's a lot of sales to be had.

this would be me i am always there for anybody but when i need something no one there, i finally decided it was time for me to take care of me and my family, start saying no to people unless it's a situation you need to help like emergency or sickness, as far as your jewelry buisness, start watching or look up places that have flea markets and you can have a booth set up there, or fairs, garage sales, open a your own liitle shop in your house and distribute buisness cards there is alot you can do if you set your mind to it don't blame yourself and be negative,think positive, i was at my worst when my daughter got killed and had a benefit for her but guess what everyone that was going to help didn't left me and other daughter to do it all
that was enough for me, ithought and these are suppose to be my daughters friends and mine. so put your chin up and start being positive about things, sometimes when people see they can always count on you then one day you aren't there they might call and ask why then tell them i have always been there for you but when i needed a friend where were you you'd be surprised how fast things will turn around.
for me i made new friends and sometimes that's the best. you can always meet new people at parks with your kids also.

well good luck honey, 51 year old mom and grandma debbie