Babysitting Questions?

H.

My husband and I were hesitant to leave our now 2 year old with a sitter, but now are sooooo glad we did! The sitter is a co-workers 18 year old daughter, who I have known for the past 12 years though.
The first time we had her come over to watch him, we asked her to come about 30 minutes early to be sure they were both comfortable with each other and when we went out, we were only gone a couple of hours. The next day, all he talked about was Ann and how she let him play with her cell phone (we don't let him play with ours) and how they played soccer. He talks about her all the time now. Unfortunately, she will be leaving for U of M in the fall, so we are going to try a neighbor girl we don't know that well, but again will have her come over and see how she interacts with him. If we are uncomfortable for any reason, we will pay her for her time and just stay home!
Good luck with the decision, but give it a try. It is nice to be able to go out without always asking family! :)

I hear ya sista! My husband and I dont get very much alone time either..and we need it.
Just a little break from being mom and dad can help a marriage alot - even if all you do is talk about the kids :)
I dont have family to help me out with babysitting and I am afraid to hire some teenage girl, that I dont know, to come into my home and take care of my children...espically if we are going to be farther away.

I have done this in the past, although I have not been very successful, hopefully you will have better luck!
If you have friends with children ask them to start a babysitting circle. Where you watch their kids one Friday night and then the next weekend they watch yours. This way you know and trust the people who are keeping your children (and your children will have other kids to play with) and one more plus is you dont have to pay a babysitter.

A LITTLE ABOUT ME:
I am 30.
Married almost 5 years.
SAHM to 2 beautiful children, son-4 / daugheter-2

I just left my 6 1/2 month old for the first time yesterday w/ a babysitter (not family). It was hard, but once I was on my way and out and about it was okay. I had my babysitter over serveral times for an hour or two while I was home (working around the house, etc...). You will never know how it feels until you try it...good luck!
~M. B.

Understandable about not wanting to leave your kids with someone who is untrustworthy but some family members can be as well. It's also not good for you guys not to have alone time.

That being said, think of all the women who have to rely on non-family people to watch their children. I'm one of them. I've been VERY fortunate to have a great daycare, a good babysitter and a church family that can be relied on as well. Sometimes though, you just gotta do it. And it's not as bad as you think it is.

I totally hear ya....I cannot tell you the last time I wa away from the baby, and with my husband??? I barely trust family, and those I do trust have lives of their own. I just figure I am going to be stuck like this for awhile.....I don't have any suggestions, I just wanted to let you know I feel the same way and understand but what are we supposed to do? Noone can care for your child the way you do, and I think it upsets me more to think of her without me at night, espescially at bedtime.....

Hire a sitter and go out and enjoy each other!! We never did and always worked separate shifts, and never went on dates! And now almost 15 years later,I think we are going downhill. We never wanted to leave our kids and now its too late..We rarely went anywhere unless his Mom was available.

yes it is hard to leave your kids... I went back to work when my daughter was 6 months old. i work 4 - 8 hour days. we have a nanny that comes to our home to watch my daughter.

I found the nanny through an ad in the paper so i didnt know her at all- but I did call her last family that she nannied for and they gave a good recommendation.

Anyway-- I had the nanny come to my house on 3 occasions before I went back to work- and I cried the first time that I left my baby with her... but the next time was easier.. adn the next was easier... and then I went back to work.. and I cried the first day back to work.. but the next day was easier..

So it is normal to not want to leave your kids.. but it is not healthy for you or them.. They need to learn that they can be away from mommy and daddy and you need to have an adult life too. Find a sitter that you can learn to trust and start leaving your kids every once in a while... Start leaving them for short periods.. and as you and the kids adjust - you will feel better about leaving them... Your husband probably needs the "date Nights" out with you.. It is important for your marriage.

I would talk to your friends, and see if they have someone they leave there children with. Also, some childcare providers are also willing to babysit after work hours. If you have friends that have children in childcare, they might know of a teacher that would fit the job :)

Good luck... I know how HARD it is! We just left our son with a non family memeber for the first time, and he is 18 mts :)