Baby Won't Drink Milk

Updated on May 14, 2008
K.W. asks from Bellingham, WA
40 answers

I need some advice. My 14 month old baby will not drink milk (goat or cow). She still nurses all the time. It's obvious what kind of milk she prefers. She's never been a very good drinker of water or juice either. I'm just now getting her to drink 2-4 oz a day of juice or water. I've tried putting watered down milk or chocolate milk in her sippy cups but she looks at me like I'm crazy and spits it out. I want her to drink something so I resort to giving her the water/juice. Any recommendations on how to get a picky drinker to take some milk? She's just a little peanut and I really want her to get the fat from dairy. She's not even a fan of cheese or yogurt. Any advice is welcome

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So What Happened?

Wow! Thank you everyone for your thoughts. What a wide array of opinions.

I'm not ready to wean yet and neither is she. I wanted to add milk to her diet mostly for extra fat, calcium and as a back up for when she eventually does wean. Part of my concern is that we're hoping to add to the family within the next year and I'm not sure I want to be nursing her while pregnant. I've got a few more months to follow her lead before we start thinking of another pregnancy anyway.

What I got from everyone's email is for me to just relax. You all have reminded me that she is getting everything she needs from my milk. She's not underweight, just petite. I think I'll look into some calcium rich foods for extra measure.

She seems quite content with her juice and water, which I'll continue. I give her a bit of apple juice every day because she's been constipated since 6 months of age and the little bit of juice helps get things moving.

Thanks again for all of your advice.
My best to you all and your families,
K.

Featured Answers

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W.B.

answers from Seattle on

Try putting breast milk in with the whole milk. You can start with more breast milk and slowly increase the cow's milk until you don't have to put in any breast milk.

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M.A.

answers from Seattle on

Try giving to her with a straw. It worked on my baby who readily drank juice/water from a sippy cup, but would not drink the milk.

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T.V.

answers from Seattle on

Hi, you probably don't need anymore advice but I was wondering have you tried rice or soy milk? My 19 month old is allergic to dairy but is still breastfed so we just went to those as a result of him not liking the goat milk. They come enriched with different vitamins and minerals as well.

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S.L.

answers from Portland on

Of course you can wean (and if you did she may be less picky with milk) but remember that cows milk can make kids mucousy (many kids have mild allergies to dairy or soy) so health-wise, pushing whole milk just doesn't seem that important to fight over. Health-wise your daughter is getting the best nutrition from breastmilk. I know you probably want your breasts back, but when I had the problem of my daughter not eating or drinking much at the same age as your daughter I had the feeling of, "at least she's getting some good nutrition from the breastmilk." I think if I had weaned I would feel like I had no safety net. She's now 5.5 years and quite healthy although she still doesn't eat or drink much at meals. Incidentally, my son is 18 months, has never had cows milk--he has breastmilk and rice milk--and he's a healthy 24 lbs. Keep offering her a variety of things and she may eventually come around. When I went through this with my daughter I had to eventually realize that if she was hungry she'd eat and my job was just to put food in front of her. It's hard, but remind yourself that if she's acting healthy then she probably is. Even if she's not drinking as much milk as you think she should. Good luck navigating this.

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D.J.

answers from Seattle on

Does she like any other dairy products? My son didn't like cows milk either when I stopped nursing him. I was a concerned at first but after stepping back and thinking about why exactly he needs it. The main reason is for calcium and so by simply making sure he got plenty of other foods high in calcium such as yogurt and cheese. As far as the liquids go, just keep at it. You might try drinking water with her and making it a fun game.
Good luck mommy!
D.

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

K.,
I had to stop breast feeding on our sons 1st birthday. He didn't like formula; thank goodness, so we gave him fortified, vanilla flavored Soy dream soy milk. It tastes very similar to breast milk and he loved it. When he was ready,he stopped drinking soy milk and hasn't gone back. I didn't worry about getting fats into him because milk isn't the only way to get fat. Our pediatrician said the only reason for milk is the calcium. He gave us other resources for calcium and our son is fine. He is 7yrs old now and has no nutritional issues at all.
Also, we don't do cow products because of dairy intolerence, so we use rice, soy and goat.
Good luck.

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E.P.

answers from Seattle on

I have to agree with what most of the other mamas have said. Child-lead weaning is the way to go and humans do NOT need to consume cows milk. My daughter is almost 3 and has never liked milk. Anytime it has been offered she spits it out. Provided your babe is getting calcium from other sources, there is no need to push milk. Good Luck and try to trust your babies instinct, she knows what she needs :)

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T.Y.

answers from Anchorage on

I have an 18.5 mos. old and he had the same problem. I went to formula then to Next Step and then added a little milk to the next step until he drank milk.

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G.T.

answers from Portland on

Hi K.,
My little girl would not drink cows milk as long as I was nursing. Same thing--the "are you kidding" look and throwing the sippy cup as far as she could in complete disgust. Just keep trying water with ice for fun, watered down juice, juicy fruit, etc. As for the dairy, I kept trying different cheeses, cream cheese with flavoring, ice cream, and anything with calcium supplement. Our Pediatrician told me not to worry about it. I finally dropped the last feeding, and she has graddually picked up her cows milk drinking, and after 3 weeks is up to about 8 oz. a day. I guess she had to loose the taste for mommy milk! Good luck!

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S.J.

answers from Seattle on

My first reaction is that maybe she is not having a pleasant experience drinking milk. Could it be that she is lactose intolerant, especially since she does not particularly like other dairy products?

Seeing that I was unable to breastfeed for different reasons for each of my two daughters, they took milk when they were ready, only because it was introduced in the bottle first - something they were familiar with. I would do as another mother said and keep a sippy cup or regular cup, whichever you prefer, sitting around her during meal times so she adjusts to drinking from another source. I would start out with either water or watered down apple juice.

Hope that helps!

S.

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

Hey K.! Have you considered warming up the milk before you give it to her?

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A.M.

answers from Portland on

Well - 14 months with this question will get you differing opions. You should be nursing -v-they're ready to switch, etc etc. But if you guys are ready to switch to milk around this age (mine did) than you should do it in stages.

For a week it should be 3/4 breast or formula, for the week after that it should be 1/2, the week after that it should be 1/4, the week after that should be 0. It could also be that your daughter is used to warm milk and the milk we tend to serve is cold. My daughter drank her milk warm for a couple of weeks after the weaning process until she realized that Mom and Dad drank it cold.

Just an FYI - another thing of differing opions, but I'll just say what my doctor told me...Juice is the number one cause of children tooth decay because it's all sugar. I wouldn't recommend the juice.

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D.M.

answers from Anchorage on

Why do you want her to drink milk???? Who says that kids need it? Dairy products like all animal products are difficult for the body to digest! The body has to create a lot of acid to digest any animal product including milk, cheese and yogurt. All lot of acid in the body actually then depletes the body of it's own calcium - in order to neutralize the acid - thereby negating any calcium they might be getting from it. As far as fat goes - they get fat in a number of other foods - I doubt they will lack in that area. Whole grains are the best source of protein and fat for a young child. Brown rice, oats, etc. Babies and children have built in instincts that we as adults have learned to ignore. Don't teach your child to fight against his own body!!! He doesn't like it for a reason. Don't make him drink it!!!!! Most children instinctively do not like the things which they are allergic to.
Follow intuition not propaganda.

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

I have read studies that said that children receive benefit for their brains from mothers milk up to 2 years old! That's a great sign that it's helpful to feed up until then. Don't be so quick to get her off the breast too fast. She'll get off when she's ready.

Try bananas, and other fresh fruit. Try veggies dipped in Ranch dressing. Try mashed cooked carrots and potatoes with a little butter and salt for dinner. Kids love these things. Of course, there is grapes, grapefruit (where you dig the meat out between the skin), rice. You can mash up any food that you have for dinner in a blender or Kitchen Aid food strainer. Mashed potatoes are always a favourite. You cna also mangle the meat enough even for a younger child to eat.

Feed her a lot of water. You can also put lemon juice in the water (a little bit) which helps with digestion.

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E.M.

answers from Seattle on

I would enjoy the limited time you will have just nursing her. There's a lot of media hype over milk/dairy, that babies need copious amounts of cow's milk, but the best kind of milk they need is from you. She will only nurse for a short period of time; I would just let her get what she wants from you (breastmilk),and slowly try giving her more cheese or yogurt. I still don't give my son cow's milk straight to drink,and he's 2 1/2; i just give him cheese and yogurt, sour cream, etc. I think it's great that you're still nursing her; both you and her are probably really enjoying the intimacy that comes with extended breastfeeding. :)

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J.V.

answers from Portland on

K., if you are anything like me, you are hoping to get some break from being on demand to breastfeed all the time. I really like the advice given for gradually mixing breastmilk with whole milk. I don't think you should be made to feel guilty if you are feeling it is time to stop breastfeeding. You have done a great job making it to 14 months. What has been working for me just in the past week is offering breast milk first and then a bottle or sippy cup with whole milk and a little bit of pediasure. Vanilla Pediasure is super sweet so adds some sweetness to the milk. I am sure there are some mixed reviews on the pediasure but it is pediatrician recommended for low weight babies. I am just adding less and less each time until she takes the whole milk by herself. Also, my daughter likes mashed potatoes with cream and cheese and I made some cream of broccoli soup with cream and she seemed to like that okay.

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L.C.

answers from Seattle on

K.,

Maybe you can pump and try first to get her to switch how she receives your milk. Then in time slowly add regular milk to breast milk in the cup until she switches? I also am not a huge fan of weaning too early and maybe she just needs to continue to nurse. I always had a sippy cup of water available to my kids (for one even a bottle of water because of bowel issues and needing the water) and just nursed them until they "naturally" weaned. They never really drank lots of milk after that but did eat plenty of yogurt and cheeses. I hope it all works out well for you and your peanut!

L. C.

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J.A.

answers from Seattle on

You could try sneaking milk/dairy into her meals. Add cheese to her pasta or make pancakes with milk instead of water. It's sneaky, but sometimes we have to do what we have to do as mothers :) Unless you don't want to nurse anymore, she's getting all she needs from you, so you shouldn't worry. Kids benefit from breastmilk until age 2. My younger daughter drank breastmilk and soy milk up until just recently (lactose issues), then when she reached two she started to take a little skim milk. After age two, they don't need the higher fat milk anymore. Now all she drinks is cow's milk. It took a couple years of transition, but it can happen. Good luck. It'll work out :)

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E.E.

answers from Eugene on

Hi K.,
I would not forcer her to drink the milk, it's possible that she cannot tolerate milk, that's why she is not drinking it. Yes it is right she should prefer breastmilk.

Milk is species specific, cow's milk is made for a large mammal with very large proteins that can be indigestible to humans and can leak through the intestinal lining causing allergic type reactions.

There is no problem with her not drinking milk.

I purchase raw milk which is so much different than pasteurized /homogenized cows milk, raw milk has the enzymes and bacteria in it that you need to digest it properly, that's why yogurt and cheese can be a better option if they are cultured well.

If she is nursing and you are eating a healthy diet with plenty of fats she will be fine.

Also, the juice idea is not great either, juice is essentially like drinking a sugar drink....stick with the water and the breastmilk, that's really the healthiest option.

If you want to learn more about milk you can check out the Campaign for Real Milk; http://realmilk.com/

On that site you can read all about the issues with pasteurized/homogenized milk. pasteurized milk is essentially a dead food and homogenized milk contributes to heart disease by building plaque in your arteries.

Also I would not recommend soy, due to the high amount of genetically modified soy on the market also, soy can be highly allergic. Plus the soy you find in the boxes is also not live food, it's so processed it's not that healthy, soy has estrogenic properties and it is not wise to use it in large amount. Another great place to learn about this is on the Weston A Price Foundation website: http://www.westonaprice.org/soy/index.html

Check out the Campaign for Real Milk, you will find a lot of useful information there.

Regards,
E. E.
http://elyorganics.com/

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M.K.

answers from San Diego on

If you are getting tired of nursing and/or pumping frequently, have you tried toddler formula? We used formula in a cup as a transition between breastmilk and cow's milk and that seemed to work well for us.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Wow, I think you are actually writing about my daughter who is the same age and also a little peanut! Except she likes cheese and yogurt. I tried giving a sippy cup with juice or water at 7 months and she about made me crazy sipping and then spitting (she never has taken a bottle). I tried so many different cups and then one day my husband had a smoothie that she was slurping up through a straw and NOT spitting so I then went on the quest for straw cups. They did work better and we are still using them, but it has taken a really long time and persistence (not to mention a lot of laundry) to get her to take just a few oz at a sitting...she just really loves nursing and I am fine with that! At least when I go on outings I don't have to worry about packing the cup! ;)

I have recently started working with her with an open cup and that is going really well. It takes a lot of supervision, but she loves it and there is NO SPITTING! I just use a small cup (a little larger than a shot glass) and put about 1/2 an inch of liquid in it so there isn't a huge mess if she tips too fast or spills it.

Good luck!!! I know how crazy this can make you feel...God love 'em!

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B.W.

answers from Seattle on

K.,

Some one gave me the advice of half yogurtsmootie the ones for children(danimals) and the milk it work for me so maybe half breast milk and that and they slowly wean your milk out and add cow's milk then slowly remove yogurt it worked for me. I did half to do it a couple times but it worked.

B.

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K.B.

answers from Seattle on

I am a mom of a 5 and 2 yr. old. I believe our children's innate intelligence is very strong and they will eat and drink what is right for them. My 2 year old only recently started eating milk and cheese. He still prefers rice milk to cow milk. If you are still breast feeding, there is no need for substitution. There are actually studies that assoc. drinking cow milk before 2 yrs old with diabetes- see the China Study. If you are determined, warm the milk up. I think starting them on a habit of drinking water opposed to juice is the best thing we can do.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Don't let people try to tell you it is too early to ween! It is a personal choice. I weened at 3 months and my boys are happy and healthy!!!

To get them to start taking milk at age one, I did the mixing thing. To start 3/4 formula or breast milk with 1/4 milk, and then just slowly up the milk every few days. It took about 2 weeks for my boys to fully adjust to the taste difference, but now they love milk.

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E.K.

answers from Flagstaff on

She's getting everything she needs from you in your breastmilk. Just keep on with the breastfeeding and she'll be fine. There are a lot of reasons that goat and cow milk are not that good for toddlers her age anyways. My daughter is 15 months, still nursing strong, and is also petite. But as long as she is growing, having enough poopy and wet diapers, she's fine. If she doesn't eat fish yet, you might want to start her on a fish oil supplement. But that's it. There are also other fatty type foods she can have besides dairy. I would suggest contacting a naturopath. There is a really good pediatric one in Forest Grove. Contact me if you want her information. Otherwise, as long as you are eating enough good fatty foods and she's nursing, she is getting everything she needs from you. Breast milk has an amazing way of transforming to give your baby or toddler exactly what she needs at that time in her life. It's a truly amazing thing. So don't worry about forcing her to drink stuff that she isn't too crazy about anyways. My daughter drinks water and breastmilk. Occasionally some juice mixed with water as a treat. And she's the healthiest little girl I know. She's only ever had 2 colds in her little life. Some kids are just petite. Especially if it's genetic. You're nursing, therefore giving her everything she needs (physically and emotionally). Good job!

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M.R.

answers from Portland on

Some people don't ween until 2 years old or older. If you need to or want to ween now maybe try soy milk. My daughter loves the stuff. She is almost six and drinks soy or cow's milk. Don't rush the whole changing of milk. It needs to be gradual. I suggest mixing breast milk with soy? Then start adding more soy than breast gradually until it is all soy. Goodluck.

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A.T.

answers from Seattle on

Hi K.,

When I tried offering cows milk to my daughter at about 12 months, she wouldn't accept it much. Her pediatrician suggested to try Lactaid milk because supposedly it is sweeter in taste (like breastmilk). I did that only a few days and was able to switch to regular cows milk. I hope this helps.

A.

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B.C.

answers from Seattle on

If you're trying to get to the point where you aren't nursing anymore, then don't give watered down milk -- and no wonder she's spitting it out. Our doctor suggested adding cream or half-n-half to our (underweight) daughter's milk to make it more palatable and up her calorie intake, and making rice cereal or oatmeal with cream as well. You also didn't mention if she has ever taken a bottle, or if you just went from nursing to a sippy cup. But I'm not sure at >1yr if you want to get her to drink from a bottle.

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

Congratulations! Your daughter is showing very good sense in spitting out cow and goat milk and letting you know she prefers your breastmilk! Contrary to dairy industry propaganda, cow's milk in any form is NOT a good food for humans (and especially not good for babies) and is not even a good source for fat or protein or calcium or anything else (see notmilk.com). Plants can supply all of these and all other nutrients in a much better form. Goat's milk is not as bad as cow's milk, but it is also not meant for humans and offers no health benefits. I'm not sure why you want your baby to drink cow's milk, or to drink anything other than your wonderful breastmilk (and I hope that you will continue to breastfeed until she is ready to wean, which could be in another year or two or three). Your own milk is nature's perfect food for her and continues to change in composition to meet her specific needs as she grows. She doesn't really need to drink any other liquids, but if you want her to have more liquids, especially in warmer weather, or if you are wanting her to breastfeed a little less often, I would suggest having pure water always available for her when she wants it, and also give her lots of whole raw ripe fruits and vegetables (berries, apples, pears, mangos, papayas, melons, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, avocados, carrots, greens, etc), which are much better for her than juice and which have a high percentage of water.

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J.H.

answers from Portland on

YOu are so lucky! She is getting the VERY BEST milk from you. At 14 months cow or goat is not superior to your milk. As a baby grows and changes and reaches toddlerhood your milk changes to meet the changes. From the reading I have done, a mother's milk that she is producing by the time she has a nursing toddler is more nutrient packed even than that for a baby. Chocolate milk is sugar milk and so is juice. It is void of nutrients. If she wants mama milk she is a smart little girl!

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K.D.

answers from Bellingham on

I had the same problem with my little guy. I found that he would drink rice milk because it is supposed to be similar to breast milk. It is not the best, fat-wise and nutritional-wise, but it worked as a transition to cow milk.
Good luck!

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L.R.

answers from Seattle on

well, she doesn't need the milk. she's getting yours. i nurse my 16 mo. old and offer her cow milk at meals. she rarely drinks it, but it's there. she has started drinking more of it lately.... also.. there is no reason to give your child juice. it's just sugar/calories. water is the perfect drink. perhaps you could try different sippy cups to make drinking water or milk more fun.

D.J.

answers from Seattle on

Well, if you do your home work you will find out that milk is not good for her, and juices are a big NO, NO. Water is the best. There are other ways to have calcium and fats in her diet. Stick with the water and be happy if that will be her choice for drink for life. Good luck!

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C.G.

answers from Eugene on

Be aware that dairy fat is saturated fat...your breastmilk is actually still a perfect milk for her...but if you want dairy fats, try to incorporate yogurt and cheeses as well. Good luck!

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

K.,

I would keep the cup available to her all day, that way she can play with it and figure out what it does. If this "new thing" is only available during meals times, of course she'll look at it sideways. If this "new thing" is around all the time she'll get used to it a lot faster.

My daughter is 14 months as well, and I think she spends more time carrying around her cup of water/milk/juice and throwing it on the floor than she does actually drinking from it, but she has access to it from morning until night.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

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E.C.

answers from Seattle on

If you're ready to wean (you may have to give it up cold turkey....), try soy milk. My son refused to drink milk as well at first but soy did the trick. I'd think twice on the juice and chocolate milk, you may never get her to drink plain milk she may only want sweet drinks.

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B.A.

answers from Seattle on

The fat in your milk is perfect for her and she really doesn't need to be drinking any other milk in addition to nursing unless you're trying to wean... though I don't know much about actively weaning since I practice child-led weaning.

Best wishes!
~B.

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

My youngest never did drink milk (cow's). He nursed until he was almost 2 yrs old. In the morning before I went to work, in the early evening when I got home and then in the evening before bed. He just didn't like the taste of cow's milk. He still doesn't. He loves yogurt, ice cream, cheese, cottage cheese. We tried formula, nope. Juice and water were the liquids he drank at the table or in a cup. I expressed breast milk that my husband gave him in a bottle during the middle of day before he naps. To this day he still does not drink milk or eat cereal with milk on it. He's 17 yrs old, 6'4" tall, runs x-country, the mile on the track team and swims competively. He's growing and thriving. Some times kids know better than us what's good for them. As long as you can get them to eat other foods high in calcium and vitamin D she should be fine. Try ice cream or a milk shake, frozen yogurts.

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E.A.

answers from Medford on

Hi K.:
It is my belief that your baby girl could be allergic
to milk and milk by-products. It would be good for you
to have that checked. When my son now 53 years old spit
out his beets I was horrified, until I discovered a rash
on his skin where the beets had touched his skin. Seems
he was allergic and it was his own actions of spitting
them out that caused me to check. He is still allergic
to beets and beet juice. Won't hurt to have it checked
out. Hope this helps.

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

I hate to say this, but there's always ice cream. If you make a "milkshake" you can sneak in some good stuff too. Keep nursing. There are calcium fortified foods out there too, like orange juice. Also, try giving her expressed milk with just a little cow's milk and see how it goes, then you can gradually increase the ratio of cow's milk. A.

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