Baby Will Not Take Pacifier

I have three children, ages ranging from 26 to 7. My oldest breastfed very well, but drained everything from me, so my physican requested I quit doing so, luckily I had ample supply of frozen milk. She never took a pacifier. She spit each and every type out of her mouth. Why? I don't know. She used a kitchen towel (the same one....so finally I just gave it to her), and finally a favorite blankey, and would rub her nose with it and suck her thumb. My second child, a son, didn't take to breastfeeding past two months, which upset me, however, wasn't the end of the world. He didn't take to pacifiers much either. As an infant, he did, perhaps throughout his first year, off and on, but he could take or leave one. He didn't suck his thumb either. Why? I don't know.
Now, my third child, a girl, breastfed as if it was an Olympic sport, and for a solid nine months. She probably could have gone longer, but it felt we were too "attached" at that point. She could take a bottle as an alternative, but refused even from my husband and her older sister. Absolutely, from me as well. It was a worthless transition, so I moved her directly to cups instead. She craved her pacie too.......far too long in my opinion, which was up to age four, solidly. I spoke to the dentist and her pediatrician about this craving for the pacifier. Neither made me feel that it was a terrible problem (thank goodness because I felt like something was wrong). When I came to the realization that her anxiety level, or ability to handle emotions, was different than that of the other kids, and we preferred her having the pacificer as we could physically see the relief she had once she had it in her mouth, we realized it was better than a possible smoking habit! She gave it up during her forth year. She handed it to me when she went into preschool from age three forward because she didn't want the kids to see it. However, it was the first thing she needed upon being picked up. She was fine. Her teeth were fine. She still has the high emotional level, but she did other things to deal with that.
Just realize the kids are as different as the parents, each child is different than the others, and it's good to be informed, ask questions to learn, but don't jump off the cliff. You'll learn in time that all parents go through very similar worries, perhaps with the same issues as you and perhaps not, but only you really know your children, your gut will speak louder than anyone around you, and in the end......you just do the best you can do.
I would let him soothe himself with his pacie, and just relax. Once you get this situation figured out, believe me, he'll move right into something else you have to figure out. It's life. Good luck and enjoy it! Music, instruments, books, hands on messy artwork, and very tactile works will probably be things he'll get into and keep him busy. Mix it up.

1 mom found this helpful

There's nothing wrong with not taking a paci. If you don't want him to use your breast as a paci, try your pinky. Just make sure you turn your finger upside down so the nail doesn't scratch the roof of his mouth. He will find his fist pretty quickly. You can even help him guide it to his mouth. Pacis aren't really good for kids anyway. They can cause the teeth to deform. Not to mention it's a pain in the butt to have to get up at night when baby loses the paci. I'm so thankful my dd weaned herself off of hers at about 8 months. One less thing I had to 'break' her of!

Actually, I think sometimes these little quirks ARE in the genes. I was a thumb sucker as a baby and was born during a time period when pacifiers 'were out' so my parents didn't get one for me. But I may have liked them. My husband was not a thumbsucker,nor any other child in his family. Two of our children were like him and they simply would not take a pacifier no matter what I did. Our second son did like them, however. You can't force the issue - you might try one on your baby once a week to see if he finally takes it, but don't be surprised if he never does. I have always surmised that the easiest babies are those who will.

Hi,
My baby is 9 months now, and has never taken a pacifier. He would never really hold it in his mouth on his own either. Sometimes I wished he would have, but on the other hand, at least I don't have to go through the fight of taking it away from him later. I have also heard that boys sometimes take them less well than girls. I would wait it out. Perhaps you can find a toy that he might suck instead. It probably won't be long before he no longer needs the comfort sucking.

My first was a binky baby, my #'s 2 & 3 wanted nothing to do with it. I always said that I would rather a pacifier than a thumb. I can take the binky away, but not the thumb. You do have to train them to it, I did by holding it in her mouth until she got past the eject phase and really latched on. The other two babies, this didn't work, so I know they just didn't want it. That being said. When your son is still suckling, but not eating; your breasts are still being stimulated which makes the milk producing hormones surge. So in a way, he is guaranteeing his future meals will be ready! When you have supply problems, they reccommend to have the baby nurse or pump when your breasts are empty to stimulate your body to produce more milk. It could be that your baby is getting ready for a growth spurt, and that you are being put on "high production mode." It is amazing how your baby and your body work together to feed him. Another explanation could be cluster nursing. I went through this with daughter #3. I was at work during the day, she was either home with dad, or with the sitter. For the sitter she took the bottle, but drank minimally, for dad she took nothing. At home in the evenings, she wanted to nurse non stop all night long. I got out my sling for evenings, brought her to bed with me at night and went with it. She so obviously wanted mommy time. That is pretty common and it didn't last but a couple of months. They are only babies for such a short time. With your first it seems that it will last forever, but believe me, soon he will be talkin back, yelling "no" and running away from you. You'll be saying "what ever happened to that sweet baby boy who just wanted to be with me all the time?"

Hi A S
I have three kids and none of them would ever take a pacifier. It's good in a way because you won't have to break him from it when he's two. When he is done feeding take him off your breast and allow him to find something else to comfort him. Good luck! L.

Some kids just never take to the pacifier even after trying every brand/nipple out there. That said, all 3 of my breastfed kids got one in the hospital (hey, it helped me sleep since they were in the room!). All took the same kind, the clear silicone nipple, none would take the latex. Of course, we had to teach them how to use it. The natural instinct/sucking motion of a newborn/infant is to push something out of the mouth if it's not a nipple. For awhile (maybe a few weeks/months) we just sorta held the pacifier in place lightly with a finger while he/she sucked on it and was awake. If it feel out once sleeping, they usually didn't wake up (until around 8 or 9 months when they need to look around the crib for it).

Just keep trying if it's important to you. Or give up and try something else. Some babies prefer to finger the silky edge of a small blanket or suck on a blanket.

My daughter never took hers either. That was fine by me. She found her fist pretty quick.

My toddler never took a pacifier as a baby, and i'm so thankful now - he became a fantastic sleeper, leared how to put himself back to sleep, etc... And, i never had to wean a whiny 2 or 3 year old away from the baby looking attachment to a pacifier. :)

First of all, let me congratulate you on your new baby and for choosing to breastfeed!! Please go to the library or bookstore and read The Baby Book, Attachment Parenting, and any other books you can find by Dr. William Sears (and his wife Martha). They are a Harvard pediatrician and a nurse with 8 kids. You cannot expect a baby to "self-soothe", especially one so young. Your breast is not just a place for your baby to eat. It is a wonderful source of comfort and security that is irreplaceable. My baby refused to take a pacifier either. It is the job of the mother and father to soothe their baby, not the baby's job! For the sake of your baby's health, it is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics to breastfeed exclusively for the 1st 6 months, so please make sure it is breastmilk, not formula, in the bottle. Feed your baby on demand at this age, reserve bottles for other caretakers when you aren't home, and don't worry about pacifiers. They may be convenient but are absolutely unnecessary. I highly recommend joining a breastfeeding support group and contacting a lactation consultant when you have difficulties. Nursing is the best thing you can do for your baby, so keep up the good work and good luck!!

My third baby did the exact same thing and did not want to take a pacifier. I finally, would keep him in the nursing position and hold the pacifier in his mouth so he could not push it out with his tongue until he would start to suck on it. It took a couple days for him to really latch on and fall asleep with it in his mouth. He did cry when I held it in his mouth, but I think it was more of a cry of being tired. I know you need a break and can't just sit there and let your baby suck. Moms are busy (I had 2 other kids to tend to--sitting there wasn't an option!). I only gave my baby a pacifier at nap and bed times. When he woke up, I would take the pacifier out of his mouth. I personally think they only become addicted to them if you let them suck all hours of the day (just a guess). If you just give at bed time, I think you'll have an easier time weening later. My little guy stopped using his pacifier at 6 months (no help from me). Each baby is different though. My middle child still sucks his middle two fingers and he is three, my oldest never needed to suck at all. We as grown ups have different ways to relax and babies have different needs as well. You can't base your child's needs on what everyone on this website "thinks". Your the mom and you can read him best. good luck!

My sisters first son was like that for awhile, couple months I think, and then eventually he started to take it and then ultimately it was hell trying to get him back off it, I think he was about 3 1/2 yrs before it was all the way gone.

I hope this doesn't seem like a stupid question, but when you are giving him one are you holding it in place for a couple minutes to give him time to latch on?

They have that thrust reflex until about 4 months that will cause them to push everything inserted in their mouth back out, which is why I asked how much time upon offering the paci are you giving him to attempt to latch on. Maybe he needs an extra minute or two until he gets the hang of it? Just a thought, maybe he also just isn't a pacifier kind of baby. My only concern is that he would otherwise, if attempting to self soothe, would start thumb sucking. Tough habit! And can cause tooth damage.

On a side note I don't think dipping it in anything is going to help. It's a sucking issue, not taste!

Hello there
I nursed both of my children. My daughter I never really had that issue with but my son, which is now 9 months old. He was a "sucker", I tried the same thing with him and he never took a pacifier, neither did my daughter, but she wasn't such a "sucker" like him. I don't know your situation but if you are ok with it, let him pacify off you. There is nothing greater than nursing a baby, if your schedule allows it, do it. I did it with my son and he has already out grown it. I don't know if that is normal but it went very well for us. Good luck!

You've gotten a lot of reponses, but I just wanted to tell you that my daughter NEVER took a pacifier either. She was exclusively breastfed (wouldn't take a bottle under any circumstance) and used me for comfort sucking also. I think since your little one is only 7 weeks old that he may not be very good at self-soothing, so if you can tolerate it, you might want to just be his pacifier for a little while longer. I know there were times when I felt frustrated when my daughter just wanted to suckle ALL THE TIME, but it didn't last very long and in hindsight, I'm happy to have filled that need for her.

I tried to convince my husband to let her use HIM as a pacifier. I told him that since my nipples are for milk, his must be for comfort (I mean, why else do men have them???), but he didn't agree. :D

Good luck to you!

All three of my kids turned into thumb suckers. I tried the pacifier with two of the three, and they just didn't take to it. One of those two would take it, but she couldn't keep it in her mouth to save her life. I'll bet he will eventually find his thumb. Maybe you could guide his thumb into his mouth to show him... it's better he suck on his own thumb than be stuck to you on your pinky!! You will be trapped!! My daughter started sucking her thumb at about 2-1/2 months, and has been a chronic thumb sucker ever since. I wish you all the luck, because I've been a human pacifier in the past like you are, and it can get a little restricting!

Usually it takes work to get a child to take a paci. They have a hard time keeping it in their tiny mouths at this age. If she is using you as a pacifier I would stick with it because that is so time consuming for you and you can't get anything done with a child attached to you at all times. If you keep with it, she'll take it. As for weaning them, by the time my were a year we worked them into only have the paci at naps and bedtime and they knew when we came to get them we threw them back in bed (made it a fun thing letting them "wing" them into their beds) and then when it was time to take them away it wasn't that hard. It's just like anything else with parenting, it's all about consistency and sticking to your guns. When you first take it away you may have a few rough nights, but it will get better. Goodluck

My daughter refused to take a pacifier also. She never took one even though she had colic and acid reflux and we tried a lot to get her to take one. Some kids just sooth themselves without needing a pacifier. I am actually happy now that my daughter refused to take one and I am not planning to introduce one to my new baby either.

Every child is different, maybe a pacifier is not his thing. They do help a lot if they will take one. My first child was binkie king. Took it right away. Second child not so much. I had all those binkies still from my first and sometimes they would help the transition into bed so they sort of hung around. I am not sure when, but one day he decided he really wanted it. I would say keep giving it to him when you think it would really help and who knows.

When you give it to him hold it in his mouth and rub his cheek (stimulates suck reflex). Sort of pull it out just a little to make him suck it back in. Play a little game like that.

Neither one of my babies would take a pacifier from day one. There were times when we really wished they would but in all honesty I am so glad they didn't. My brother and sister in law had the hardest time weaning their 2nd child from the pacifier and my neighbor is bringing her 3 1/2 year old daughter to preschool w/ her pacifier in her mouth. I think you are one of the lucky ones. We never had to go through the weaning process which from what I hear can be worse than potty training. :) Good luck. Enjoy the time. Goes so fast.

My son was breastfed and took a bottle as needed. He NEVER took a pacifier though. Part because I didn't want him to and part because he couldn't figure it out. He found other ways to sooth himself.

There is no law that says a baby MUST use a pacifier! My first child used one until age 1. My second used one until he got the flu at 4 months old, then didn't want it anymore. My third child didn't use one at all. I think it depends on each baby.
Personally, I would rather they calmed themselves without a pacifier. I had nightmares about them having a pacifier in kindergarten! LOL

I am proud of your baby! I realize comfort sucking is a problem, but remove him from the breast when he is done with his meal and leave the pacifer thing in the cupboard. All babies suckle a little at various times during the day, helps develope muscles, and is nothing abnormal. Just making the motion does not mean they have to have something stuffed in their mouths to suck on.

Congratulations on the new baby! Looks like you're getting lots of good advise. Hope you don't me adding to the list.

Neither of our daughters ever took to pacifiers either. Both of them were breastfed. Our oldest wouldn't take to a bottle either, ever! Even our Peds were amazed at how hard she'd fight to keep the bottle from going into her mouth. She never sucked her thumb or fist, just nursed and suckled from me. Our second daughter refused to nurse from my right breast from day one, but she did take to a bottle so I pumped that breast and gave her the milk from a bottle. She never took to a pacifier though. She sucked her thumb or fist, but only for a short time.

Your baby is very young and is still getting your breasts "primed" for nursing. He's also still bonding with you, so I'd try to hang in there and realize that this is a very special time for both of you. Sadly, it won't last very long although it may not feel like it right now. Ask any mom and I think she'll agree, babies grow up way too fast and that precious time between a mother and her child is priceless.

You're doing a great thing, for you and your baby. Enjoy it while it lasts. And think about this, you won't ever have to go through the battle of taking the thing away from a child that can run & hide with it and even talk with the thing still in their mouth! (My cousin is going through that with her 3 1/2 year old daughter -the child's still winning!)

It took a little bit to get our DD to take one. We had to lightly hold it for her until she got used to it and didn't push it back out. She only gets it when she is in her crib and she knows to drop it back in when we get her up. She has recently taken to sucking her thumb from time to time when she is not in her crib. We are trying to curb that before it becomes a hard to break habit.

Stop forcing something he doesn't want. He'll find his way to his fingers or somthing of that nature. I have a friend who has a son who did NOT do the pacifier. She's trying to keep the 6 month old off too and she has! Maybe he doesn't like the plastic or it doesn't agree w/ him some how. Take it for what it is. You won't have the struggle of trying to get them off of it either.

I nursed also for about 1-2 mths before intriducing pacifier to our dtr. It was hard to get her to take it because I was so tired of being her passy. We finally got her to take the little silicone one from the hosp after several attempts. She is now 11 mos & we are trying to weane her & it is very hard. If your child doesn't want it then don't forcr him because you are about to start a habit that is very hard to break. I'm sure in no time he'll find other ways to comfort himself.

My baby refused a pacifier as well. She was breastfed through the first year, and I feel that none of the pacifiers we tried felt natural to her. She is a thumb sucker though, and I'm perfectly alright with that. She's the best baby in the world for it - she'll fuss for a minute or so, then find her thumb and be fine. We always have it with us, we never have to worry about packing it, and I like that it's just a bit dirty most of the time because I believe that it's helped her build a strong immune system. Your mention of it being genetic does interest me though because both my husband and I were thumb suckers.

J.

Breastfeeding is more than just feeding your baby. Babies won't suck on an empty bottle, but will continue to suck from your breast because it is warm and pleasurable for them. Your breast is you with all the smells and skin touching that makes you, you. They can get nutrition from a bottle, but not the comfort that breastfeeding offers. I've breastfed 3 children who are now grow with children of their own. I breastfed each until they were almost 2 yrs. old. You didn't say whether you were planning on going back to work. Is that why you want him to take a pacifier? In the evening your milk supply is at it's lowest and your baby maybe trying to build your mike supply by nursing. Do you notice your milk letting down when he is just comfort sucking? Are you back at school and worried about your son's sucking needs when you are not with him? Sometimes they will just wait for you. You are more then just milk for him. Hope this helps.

Neither of my girls took pacifiers, so I wouldn't worry about him not taking one. Eventually, he may find his fingers or thumb to suck on if he continues to need it. But, either way, it's obvious he doesn't want the pacifier. I know my girls didn't take a bottle either because they seemed to not like the taste of them. I really think he'll be fine.

Good luck!!

I don't know why evryone ewants pacies for their babies. Our 2 never sucked them nor their thumbs so I felt blessed they did not go throught the stress of taking them away. What's wrong with comfort from Mama. My youngest went through that.
I didn't mind it at all.

Try a 6+ month pacifier. My daughter would not take the little ones...I used the mam brand ones......

I tried every kind of pacifier you can find for my daughter! She just needed some way to soothe herself, and I didn't want her using my breast as a paci. My mom even tried, thinking she might take it better from someone else. She never did... She ultimately found her thumb! So I'd just wait... he might eventually find his too. :)

I personally tried a pacifier with my oldest and he would take it only when he had gas. I had to hold him as if I was nursing him with the pacifier against my chest. Honestly I'm glad my other kids never took one. (The oldest only took it for 3 months). They are difficult to get away if you wait too long.

Hi A S.

I have 3 girls, my oldest took a pacifier for a short while. My middle child never would touch them, nor would she suck on a bottle nor nurse. So we'd have to feed her from cups..that was the only way she would have it...lol..crazy. My youngest had a pacifier, but never sucked on it..I don't think that they even liked them in their mouths. I wouldn't force a pacifier in any kid. If they don't want it, they'll keep spitting it out, gagging on them or what ever they do..lol..mine did everything to keep them out! I'd be glad that he wouldn't want a pacifier. Give him a blanket to soothe him or a stuffed animal. My nephews soothing thing was a toy car that I bought him when he was born. My oldest was just time with me, my middle child was really odd...lol..she really never cried, always persistant on what she wanted..the only time she cried was when she was learning how to crawl...and that was when she couldn't see or find me. My youngest, she was such a daddies girl..now she's mine..lol...but the case is that she had a curious george and carried that thing every where with her. Still does (she's 2yrs)..I think if a child really finds something that they like even if its a car or spoon...or even keys..(my little one holds on to our phones or our keys) because she's afraid of us leaving. (Dad works swing shifts, so she thinks we're both gonna leave her)..but something of sentimental value always would be something good to offer for a soother! Good Luck and be proud he don't want that false nipple..lol. Have a great week!!

My daughter wouldn't take a pacifier either, she's almost six months and breastfeeding. some just don't like it. I let her nurse as long as she wants...we are their natural pacifier. she also liked to suck on our fingers, skin tastes better than a pacifier(my lactation consultants words!). don't worry and good luck!

That can be so frustrating when you feel like you need to find a way to soothe your baby and nothing is working but YOU. That can be a tiring feeling. Well, some babies have plans of their own. It could be that he doesn't want a pacifier and never will. If this ends up being the case I would encourage you to invest in a babysling (check out www.peppermint.com). After he is done eating on one breast you can continue to nurse him on the same breast and he will get minimal milk out so he won't get frustrated and he will be able to soothe himself. Since he is in a sling you can have both hands free.

If you really feel like you need a break (or just need to know that he has something that will soothe him when you're not there because of classes) then try putting the pacifier in his mouth and once his mouth is closed around it then pull it out. When you break the suction over and over again, it will strengthen those muscles to keep it in his mouth. So stop trying to hold it in his mouth and start pulling it out once he sucks down on it. Sounds counterintuitive I know.

Check out The Baby Book, by Dr Sears. That's where I learned that trick. Ok I just pulled the book off my shelf and here's another thought...maybe it's the wrong size or shape of pacifier. Ok, hope this helps. Good luck to you, and definitely be open to him not ever wanting the pacifier. You may just have a strong willed little boy on your hands!

Hi, there!

My Mom said I (and my brother) never took a pacifier, and neither of my sons ever had one, either. Yes, I was the human pacifier for a while, but that's OK. (They didn't end up sucking their thumbs, either.) Stop wasting your effort and just let your baby be happy.

Besides, then you won't have to ask the questions on the other end of this saying, "How do I get my baby to start to talk with that thing in his mouth?" and "How do I get rid of that annoying pacifier when my baby goes ballistic when he can't find it?"

Best wishes,
K.

I fell your pain. My daughter would never take a paci either, which was really hard because she used me as her human paci! Things didn't get that much better until she was about 6 months old and started sucking her thumb and fingers. I wish I could be of help. The only paci that even held her interest was a Soothie, but only for a few minutes. Have you tried that brand? Your baby just might be in the "no paci" camp. But it will get better. And, just think, you won't have to go through the weaning off the paci stage or jump up in the middle of the night to put it back in when she loses it :)

My son never took a pacifier either. Eventually, I gave up on the idea. At three months old he found his thumb. He gave that up on his own just after he turned 3(thankfully!). This is probably not sage advice, but some kids just won't take them. However, my daughter did. I don't know what the difference was between them that brought this on. Good luck and I understand why you want him to take it. I hope it works out well for you all.

As a mother with an almost three-year old who still hasn't quit the binky, and a 5 month old who never wanted one, I say consider yourself lucky. Babies don't need a pacifier to soothe themselves, and trust me it's a monster to have to take away. We're still too chicken to do it. He'll find another way to self-soothe, whether it's the thumb, a favorite blanket or lovey, etc.

Our daughter (who is no longer breastfed) still kind of gets anxious if we take the bottle away after she's done eating. She did the same thing while I was nursing her. If she gets weird when I take the bottle away, I give it back and she always eats more until she relaxes. I would treat the breast the same way - if he still wants to suck, give it back. He might still be eating a little bit without you realizing it. I know they say "don't let him use you as a pacifier" but I personally feel that we breastfeed because it is a perfect way of soothing a baby, not solely because it's how they're fed. He's so little, still. Give him the boob! :)

I have a 3 yr. old and 1 1/2 yr. old - and neither of my boys ever took to a paicifier either. I also breastfed til they were 13 mths. My younger son never took to a bottle either :( I tried every bottle I could think of - and all he wanted was me!!!! As for the pacifier, I looked at it as at least it wasn't a habit I'd have to break them of when they are 3 or 4. I know some children that are very, very attached and have problems lettting go of them.
They both just pretty much wanted me to soothe and comfort them..yes at times it got a little 'annoying' but the time does go so very fast. Just hang in there and enjoy it while you can :)
Angie

My first EBF son FINALLY took a pacifier at 3 months after months of pruney pinky fingers:) lol
Second EBF son never took one but did find his thumb around 2 months.
Good Luck!

neither of my kids took a paci, either. With my daughter I was her paci and I didn't mind. She would fall asleep nursing and I'd lay her down for a nap. My son was bottle fed and it was the same thing. I didn't let it bother me, and my kids loved to suck on their hands. Maybe get him to try that and see what happens.

Try the Soothie brand. I call it the "gateway binkie". You may have to hold it in his mouth a little, they pop out easily. But if he doesn't take it at all, I guess I'd give up for a while.

Hello! My daughter had a problem at first too. One thing that I was told to get the baby to suck was to rub behind their ears. I used it for breastfeeding but also would always do this once I put the pacifier in her mouth. Also, I bought the gerber infant pacifiers that are round and have a round nipple that is bigger. I think it is easier for the baby to keep it in her mouth when it is bigger. Not to mention with the shape of the outside part being round it never goes over their nose which I didn't like either.