Baby Weight - Mason,OH

Hey, girl!

I've been there! In fact, I've LIVED there, most of my life, with THE world's slowest metabolism. I can work out for MONTHS and only gain weight. That's just how it is with me. I've made the choice not to be miserable about it anymore but just to do all I can to be healthy for my daughter.

I am sure this zen-like response is NOT what you want to hear, but here's a little perspective - your kids are healthy and wonderful, you have what you need to take care of them and yourself, and you are under a tremendous load of responsibility. DO NOT be hard on yourself! Do NOT focus on your weight and take that on as another burden of something you've got to achieve or improve or whatever. Your kids don't care if you're svelt. Your kids and your husband love YOU and want you to feel a sense that it's fine for you to relax and enjoy yourself.

Of COURSE your house is not clean all the time! How could it be? You've got so much on your plate, it's impossible. And that's perfectly understandable AND alright! You're a Mom, not Wonder Woman.

Even for me - old metabolic slo-mo, the baby weight DID come off. It took a YEAR. That's just how it was. I'd hate to think you were going to spend an entire year feeling miserable and like you're failing just because of this weight. It's not worth it to allow yourself to be down about this. Just keep making whatever strides you can, and feel proud of yourself for holding so much together on your own. Slow but steady progress, even just keeping yourself well and healthy by walking and eating healthy foods is an accomplishment.

Be proud of yourself. Your outer appearance is surely that of a beautiful Mom. Extra pounds matter only in whether they are keeping you from being healthy. Try to keep your mind focussed on the positive - that you are achieving so much every day by just enabling your household to function. You're taking care of everyone, now take care of yourself by refusing to give in to despair over weight. Life is the most important thing of all, so don't let your joy be stolen away from you.

I wish you the best of happiness, I truly do!
H.

1 mom found this helpful

Aw, honey! First of all, cut yourself a little break! You have three little ones and are barely recovering from pregnancy and delivery! And you're a military wife! That's a lot to do on your own. So here's my advice (and lots of love)

(1) go easier on yourself. You don't have to be perfect! But you do need your sleep!

(2) ask for help! ask friends, family, neighbors, other military families to help you with babysitting now and then (a day to yourself would tremendously help your mood, and your house!), or with cleaning or with adult company!

(3) set reasonable goals for yourself, like I'm going to walk 15 minutes outside today, or I'm going to do 50 sit-ups today while the kids watch Finding Nemo. I'm going to do one load of laundry a day. I will end the day with a clean kitchen sink and a load of dishes running in the dishwasher. I will empty the dishwasher in the morning. This week I will focus on putting (and getting the kids to put) all the dishes directly into the dishwasher after meals. This week I will focus on not allowing snacking (and messes) in between the meal- and snack-times that I schedule for us. This week I'm going to start a routine of spending 15 minutes before I fall asleep writing in my journal about the memorable moments of the day, or reading 5 pages from that book I never have time for.

(4) Work on your routine. I know it's hard with three little ones, but you are mom and you set the routine and expectations. Bedtime is huge for me, with only one 2yo at home. I love on him from the moment I get home from work until his bedtime, but I know my husband and I need alone time (or I need time for some chores). So we have our bedtime routine. 8-8:30 we bath, brush teeth, get clothes out for the morning, read stories, pray, etc., then I'm strict about bedtime. It's mommy-time now. Which is just as important to my baby's wellbeing as it is to mine, because a well rested mommy is a better mommy, i think. Have a morning routine that the kids understand and that you expect. Make it fun so they want to join in, but be firm about what you expect, too. Have a schedule for food (breakfast at 8, snack at 10, lunch at 12, snack at 2, dinner at 5), and keep easy snacks in the pantry (like crackers, fishies, apples, pears, yogurt, cookies, etc) Have healthy snacks for you, too. (Check out the body sculpting books for women! awesome books!) Have a routine for those mealtimes, about kids putting their own dishes away (even the 3yo! the daycare had my 2yo doing it as soon as he could walk, amazing! I would never have thought it possible but it is!)... and get your 7 yo to help you with the little ones and praise him/her like crazy for helping out.

(5) Make cleaning fun with the little ones, get them involved, esp the 7 yo. They love to mop, clean windows, vacuum. If you can enjoy it (and who doesn't love a clean house) then so can they.

(6) And as part of your routine, work out! You're not going to lose weight just dieting, or just breastfeeding. Sure they help, but you've got to get out and do something! Make it part of the family routine. Go for walks together (get a double stroller!) and stroll around your neighborhood or mall or whatever. Go to the park with the kids, throw a frisbee with your 7yo, or play kickball with the kids. Make games with your kids a workout for you. Get a babysitter a couple times a week so you can go to the gym, or get a gym that has a babysitting service. It's a priority, because honestly that exercise will help you with your mood and your sleep, will boost your self esteem and make you a better mama for your kids. If you could do two kids, work and full time school, you can work exercising into your routine. Get a pilates video to work to, or one of those amazing balls to do work outs with... or what are those videos/exercises where you use your 4mo as a weight! lol.

Sorry, I think I was reminding myself as much as you. I hope you get some rest, get into an exercise routine (just as important as losing weight), and treasure this time staying home with your kids! Like any job, it's an adjustment but this job is particularly rewarding once you get into the swing of things!

1 mom found this helpful

Tonya,
First thanks for all you DO, being a loving mom and wife to an American serviceman. These gifts of yours mean so much to the rest of us!

Secondly, I'd like add to Tabby's great advice... with someone else's!

See if you can get your hands on Amy Dacyczyn's (pronouce it "decision") Tightwad Gazette books. They're still in print, but you can find hard and softcover versions used, too (very frugal). They are compilations of the years of monthly newsletters she published in three volumes of letters, humor, tips, graphics, recipes and moral support.
Amy was you several years ago, wife of a serviceman with SIX kids (one set of twins!). She knew (and her readers) knew how to do everything on the cheap AND save money for the future.
One of my favorite tip was to make a "pickup circle" path through your house. Take the path that takes you through your house's rooms in succession, picking up and dropping off as you go - enough circles and you've moved quite a bit! I can rarely pick up everything that needs to be moved at once, but I've found even if I move a few things, I feel like I've accomplished something.

On a side note, Prevention Magazine recently had an article on the top four foods to try to include in your diet because their high monounsaturated fat content actually helped negate the bad fats. They are olive oil, avacadoes, nuts and chocolate - all in moderation, but consistently for good fat and heart health.

Best,
S.

It took a while for me to let the house "go"... I have 3 little ones at home (4 yr, 2 1/2 and 9 mo.)... even with two of us home it was hard to keep up with the three little ones and all the house keeping and repairs. As long as you have dishes to eat off of and clean clothes for the kids and you to wear - don't worry so much about the rest. Yes, it is nice to have a clean house, but with kids... as soon as you get one room clean they have trashed the next one - it's an endless battle. If someone has a problem with how your house looks - let them come clean it and fight the battle for a little while :)

I feel for you and what to thank you for your husband and your service to our country... You are a great wife and mother for taking care of everything here while he is way!!!!

As for the weight - I don't think any of us are ever truely happy with what we look like or weight... I was about 119 before I had my fist one and now I'm about 200 after all of the little ones. I eat well, go for walks, run after the kids, work full time and go to school full time. My days start at 6 am (nursing the baby before work) and end at around midnight (if I can calm down from the day that fast)... I am who I am! My hubby loves me and so do my kids... that's all that matters!!!

I hope your husband returns home safely soon!!! In the mean time - don't stress about your weight and the house... do what you can and let the rest go till tomorrow. And accept the help if you are offered it - you decerve a helping hand and a break for all that you are doing, as a wife and a mother!!!

Tonya, sounds like you may have some post partum depression creeping in....when you see your doc, talk about lack of energy, motivation, etc. Could be some enemia as well...but get on some happy pills, force yourself to exercise at least 3 times a week for at least 1/2hour (take a walk....even if it's just to the mall)...make sure you get some time away from the kids, don't lose connections with past co-workers or friends because staying at home from working outside the home is a HUGE transition (one that made me quite depressed as I'm a very outgoing person)....I'd just suggest some of those things.

Hi! I breastfed all 3 of my kids. With each one I lost a lot of weight the first 2-4 weeks and my stomach shrunk quite a bit, but I noticed that I would reach a point where I wouldn't lose anymore weight. I, too, ate healthy, not excessive amounts, etc. Once I quit nursing I slimmed down more each time. I think your body gets to a point where it stores the fat because you are nursing and wants to make sure you are able to produce enough milk. One other thing to consider, I've heard alot lately about how a lack of sleep affects your weight loss. It also "tricks" your body and messes with your metabolism. I know it's difficult to get 7-8 hours of (consecutive)sleep with a new baby, but that could also be part of the problem. I know with my last baby, she nursed every 2-3 hours round the clock and slept with me for her 1st 7 months. I don't think I was fully coherent until she was over 7 months old and sleeping through the night. Good Luck!

It's time to face the facts. You have 3 children under 8 and your husband is out of the country. Your house is not going to stay clean and anyone that expects it to should just not come over to visit. I also have 3 children 10, 8 and 5 so it has become a little easier.

I came up with a system when they were all little to ease a bit of the stress of trying to do it all. I have a schedule for cleaning. I clean one part of the house a day such as bathrooms on Monday, bedrooms on Tuesday, family room Wednesday and so on. I try not to spend more than 30 minutes really cleaning each day. My children have chores that help me like collecting the laundry, putting their clean clothes away, bathroom touchups and garbage collection. We all do a quick "straightening up" routine before bedtime and that is it. If I notice something that needs attention that is not in the room of the day, I make a note of it for the next week. Oh, I take Sunday's off.

For laundry, I sort out the colors (light and dark), whites and towels and I give each of them a day as well. So every 4 days I start again.

For meals, I make a menu of 10 dinners and list ingredients on a shopping list. When I use a meal, I replace it on the menu page with another and list those ingredients on the shopping list. This gets me in and out of the grocery pretty quickly and I only have to do the big shopping once every other week.

I hope some of this helps. Remember, being a good Mom doesn't have anything to do with how perfect your house is cleaned. Love up the kids, take care of yourself and enjoy it while it lasts. We will keep you and your husband in our prayers. That you for his service.

I may sound like an ad here, but what really worked for me on the housekeeping was a website called www.flylady.net. She teaches you how to do the housework in 15 minutes segments, starting with shining your sink, taking care of yourself, and even how to get the kids involved in helping you with it. Somewhere on her website, you can find a link to another one called The House Fairy, and that is for the kids. It makes the kids WANT to keep their rooms clean. Apparently the House Fairy is Santa Claus's sister, and while he takes care of them at Christmas, she watches the rest of the year. Flylady also has a book called Body Clutter that she co-wrote with the Dinner Diva, Leanne Ely, and it is all about how they lost weight. Leanne has her own website as well, SavingDinner.com, and that is all about menu planning for different people, heart healthy, losing weight, frugal, and stuff like that. She even has an entire series about those Freezer meals that are popping up everywhere. I know that all of this has helped me tremendously. I have a 5 year old son who, I discovered, loves to sweep, mop, vaccum, and dust since I started with all this. And, although he still does not like to pick up his toys, he knows that he only has to do it for 15 minutes, and then he can stop, and it always amazes him to find that it never actually takes that long.
T.

Dear Tonya,

You, my dear, are doing too much. I am a 58 year old retired teacher who worked while her two children were growing up. My health suffered greatly for it, as did my children. Here is what I would suggest to you:

1. Clean up one room a day. so what if the whole house is never clean at the same time. The house should not be your top priority, anyway.

2. If possible, cut back your schooling to part-time so you have time to do the StrollerFit Mom's. You want to get that weight off while you're young, trust me! You also MUST have time for yourself, especially if your husband is away, serving our country. You don't want to be burned out when he comes home, because he is going to need your support, too.

3. Spend as much time as humanly possible with your children. They will only be young for such a short time. My two are 25 and 21 and I have so many regrets. Don't let that be you!

Good luck and God bless,

C. P.

Hi Tonya,
Bless you for being a single mom (for the time being) and raising 3 kids! I bet you are doing a great job! I have the same problem keeping the house clean and I only have one! I think we as moms are way too hard on ourselves. I like the advice the previous responder gave about getting the kids involved in the chores...I think I will start with my 3 year old!
Anyway, about the weight loss... if I remember correctly I was still wearing my maternity clothes when my son was nearing 3 months old and I too was nursing. It took a long time to shed the weight. But around the time my son was 6+ months old and I was still nursing, the weight really did start to fall off. Just be patient and keep eating right and drinking tons of water. I am a huge fan of walking for exercise. Not sure where you are located, but hopefully the weather will break soon and we can all enjoy some walks outside with our little ones.
Hang in there!! A.

nursing might not take the weight off, but it helps keep you from putting more on!
the only time i lost weight nursing is when i was nursing an older child, AND my newborn. when the older child stoppednursing my weight loss stopped.

one of our favorite things to do in the summer is walk around the lake at sharon woods! our goal is to do this 2 times a week this summer! the kids love exploring things in nature!

also the Y has child care if that is an option for you??
i a hope your husband will be able to come home soon!!
mel

p.s. i know the nursing/ weight loss is different for everyone.

Tonya,

OK, relax.

Don't even try to lose weight until after you are done nursing. Just eat healthy and take good care of your baby. There is time for diet and exercise, without stressing about actual weight.

Next, know that houses just do not stay neat and clean for longer than a week anyway. Let yourself off the hook. Go to www.flylady.com and get some tips for both the house and your self-talk.

Enjoy the children, and raise them right. Worry less about the house. You don't have to be perfect--just do the best you can every day, and that will be fine. Check in with all of us again, because we all feel overwhelmed sometimes and all face the same issues of kids, house, and life.

Be well,
K.

Going through the same thing...however, i went through an appendectomy three days before my pregnancy. I recently went to the dr. to see if this was normal. The dr. said that it was not and drew blood to see if i have an underactive thyroid. As I was doing some research, this is known to happen with women after pregnancies. I find out tomorrow if this is the case. Just a thought. Hope this helps.

Tonya,

I'll keep this short and sweet... Go to www.flylady.net and sign up for the emails. It will change your life!

I am a single mom of a 16 month old, I work a regular full-time job and I also do Mary Kay on the side. If it weren't for 'Fly Lady' - I would go crazy.

There are also a lot of GREAT ideas for getting your kids involved in helping out.

Best yet - it's FREE!!

Tonya,

You have so many responses already but I had to add my thoughts. After my daughter was born, I developed a thyroid problem and I have not been able to loose weight. I have gained about 10 lbs this winter and I just can't seem to loose it even though I eat well. I don't have time to exercise or clean my house. I work full time and go to school in the evening. I barely have time to sleep much less clean or exercise so I don't even worry about it anymore. I have a friend that comes over once a month and cleans for me. She does the bathrooms, floors and dusting and that has really helped me out a lot. Hang in there!

For one thing......don't worry about the weight so much until you stop breast feeding. You may be one of those that just doesn't lose it until AFTER they stop breast feeding. On top of that.....work on balance and a workable plan FIRST......the rest will fall in place as a result of. You cannot be productive in the midst of "chaos"......so FIRST THINGS FIRST!

FYI...stress is one of the major factors that REDUCES your body's ability to absorb nutrients and function optimally. STOP! Focus on other things.

I'm a certified personal trainer and posture alignment & pain management specialist who's been in the health industry for over 30 years. I was once a 120# fourth grader with a thyroid problem who knew at 10, that I didn't want to take meds the rest of my life. I learned what my body required..physically and nutritionally..to make it function optimally.

I went on to become MASTERS USA BODYBUILDING champion just shortly after my 43rd birthday. I'm now 51 and am thinking about going BACK into it, even after menopause. If I can do it......so can everyone else.

Knowledge is POWER!! Learn EVERYTHING you can about how your body works and work a plan from there. TRUST ME ON THIS! The more you know.....the more empowered you become!!!

Let me know if you want to chat more.

Don't be so hard on yourself! After my son was born we both had some health issues and house cleaning was the last on my list of priorities. It felt overwhelming when I thought of all that I needed to do.

I had to keep reminding myself that it was all temporary and this feeling would pass. I also took 5-10 mins when I could, to wipe the counters, put things away, walk up and down my stairs. You'd be amazed what you can get done in 5 mins.

Sometimes, when the weather was good, I would walk around the block with my son. Just getting out of the house with him for 5 mins would help both of us.

Also, remember to ask for help if you need it! That's the hardest thing to do when you are used to managing everything. Have a family member, friend, or neighbor watch the kids for you and take some time for yourself.

Remember, it is just temporary. The house doesn't have to be perfect. When your kids are grown, they won't remember if the house was swept & dusted every day. They will remember the time spent with you! Good luck!

Hi Tonya,

I nursed my first daughter for 20 months and lost a whole 5 pounds of baby weight. Whoop-dee-doo. I was working out and even ran a 5K by the time she as 5 months old. I thought I was eating well too. Just before her 2nd birthday I started calorie counting. My goodness! My "I'm-being-good-today" days were sill upwards of 2500-3000 calorie days. It's amazing how many calories are hidden in food. Yeah, the diets may work for some people but I believe they are temproary results. My second baby is now 6 months old ald I've already lost 19 lbs of baby weight. The bottom line is it's all math. Calories in...calories out. There are plenty of web sites ( I use calorie king) that'll help you along with keeping track of you calories and help you learn about nutrition.

HI,
I am also a single mom occasionally. My husband travels for his job and is gone from Wed thru Sun usually. I have 2 kids and watch 2 other kids through the week. My house does not stay clean ever. I work work work and the next day it is trashed again. Remember this is a very special time with your baby. You won't ever get this time back with him so relax and enjoy it. I had a lot of anxiety after my daughter was born and didn't sleep well. I was getting about 4 hours of sleep every night because I would stay up to clean my house after the kids were asleep. No sleep equals anxiety. My doctor finally told me that. Do you have someone you can talk to? I think that would help. Get your best friend and just dump it on her. You have to get it off of your chest or it will drive you crazy. My anxiety was a little different. I would lay awake in bed figuring out escape routes from the house if anything happened. My daughter cried for the first year constantly so that was the source of all of my anxiety.
I nursed both of my kids and started working out after they were about 8 months old and I still couldn't lose weight. I have figured out that I got my body back after they turned 2. I weighed more after I gave birth I think than when I was pregnant. Give your body time to get back to normal. I also had depression after my daughter was born I think because all of the crying. If you are having a lot of anxiety you might check with your doctor. There are meds that they can give you while you are breastfeeding to help with that. Anxiety is a part of depression.
I would put your kids to work around the house. My kids are 4 and 2, and I put them to work. They don't always do a great job, but they are learning how to help and it lessens the load on you. At least you won't have to do it all all they way.
Good luck to you because it is very hard raising kids on your own, and tell your husband thank you for serving our country.

sounds as if you have alot going on with alot of changes in your life. could there be the possibility of some underlying depression?? sometimes when there is things going on emoitiionally no matter how hard you try the weight will not come off.

Tonya

Relax, relax, relax. I am sure that is easier said than done. But these women are right, you are being the sole parent on top of the stress of having your husband fight for our freedom. You both should be commended!!

You have gotten some great advice from all these moms and though I read many of them I wanted to make one more comment. Though you are nursing and that usually makes the weight come off faster for some women (from pregnancy to another) other women it does the opposite. I had a friend that nursed for 4 months and didn't lose a pound and the minute she stopped she immediately started losing weight. Don't worry about the weight, the house, blah, blah, blah...just enjoy your babies because before you know it they will be adults. The other stuff is just stuff!!!

If you are looking for a good moms support group locally I know of one I would be happy to share. I know this site has policies so I don't want to violate any by naming it but can offer some help if you would like.

A.

Tonya,

Just to let you know I breastfed my girls I never lost the weight while nursing them. I lost it when I stopped nursing them. I made sure I drank a lot of water and ate lots of fruits and veggies when I was nursing. Healthy foods. Please do not stop nursing your baby just because of the weight. Remember that it took you 9 months to have a baby and I will take that long (maybe longer, it took me a lot longer) to drop the pounds.

Cleaning. Oh hon, almost every female hates to clean with 3 young kids in the house. I know. Here is how I do my house.

3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, dinning, front room.

I do dishes (stove and counters) after every meal (it is just easier for me)

Monday 2 bathrooms - front room - one load of laundry
Tuesday 1 bedroom - kitchen (floor) - one load of laundry
Wednesday 1 bedroom - dinning room (table gets cleaned before and after every meal) - one load of laundry
Thursday 1 bedroom - front room - one load of laundry
Friday I just run through the house and pick up little things (kids toys, a glass on the table ect.) Laundry
Saturday - any left over laundry and a day to take the kids where ever. family day all day long
Sunday - Church - thn a lazy day

Also with one of the days of cleaning 1 bedroom my 8 yr and 5 yr daughters clean their own rooms. I just help. If they play in the 16 months room they help clean this room as well. They each have a basket of laundry and they take them to the laundry room and my 8 yr old is starting to sort her own laundry (I never told her to do this) She told me it is just a way to help out.

I have learned that I will never have a "white glove" home. I have a lived in happy home. Yes there might be a few toys in the living room from the baby and the beds might not be made everyday but that is okay. There is only one of me. And 3 kids and one hubby. I can only do so much. I hope showing you my schedule that it might help you a little. I have tried to do everything in one day. It is just to stressful and to hard!!

If I slack on anything that becomes a Saturday Early morning thing.

good luck!

The weight plateau might be because of stress. I've been there. My youngest is 17 months and I am just now getting back to a normal weight. I gained a LOT with both. Some body types, I think, just hang on to that weight for dear life no matter what you do. It sounds like you are having to do it all right now.

My advice it to break it up into peices you can handle. As for the baby weight....eat as well as you can and get excersise when you can. Don't worry about the number right now. Take care of yourself (including getting sleep!!!) I think that the weight will come off in time. It just isn't always the time that we want.

House cleaning....break it up into daily tasks. Each day have one or two things you worry about. (sweep the kitchen and dust the den one day, laundry the next, etc.) Most important....if it's not the day to do something, DON"T WORRY ABOUT IT!!! You will get to it on the day of it's rotation.

Tonya-

Have you had your thyroid levels checked? Some women become hypothyroid after childbirth, and it can self-correct by the 6 month time. Your description is very similar to me 4 years ago. I had baby #2, ate well, exercised 4 + days a week, couldn't loose a pound, was exhausted, etc. My thyroid was out of wack. I ended up having half of it removed due to an oversized nodule that was suspected of being cancerous (fortunately, it was not). Once I was started on Synthroid, I began to feel normal again, and lost the weight. Good luck
K.

I don't know if it would help or not but, I would drink a big glass of water every time I nursed. With my first son, I lost 40 lbs. in 3 months! With my second two sons, it wasn't quite as dramatic but, I did lose the baby weight. As long as you are eating well and exercising...that's really all you can do. If the stress is keeping you from sleeping!!?? Maybe talking to your doctor? He/She may have some good advice as well or could do some tests to see if it is something physiological going on! Hope this helps and hang in there.

I am inspired by how much you do! I can't imagine. One thing that I would suggest, if I can be so bold, would be to write a list of things that are a priority each week. You cannot do it all and I know it is a hard thing to come to terms with, but you are obvisouly struggling to manage everything. It seems that the weight issue is a priority and you just might stress a little less if you could feel more like your old self - it's strange to be you but not feel like you. I'd try activities that get you moving as suggested. Good luck!

I know that all of the literature says that breastfeeding helps you lose the weight faster, but for me that was so NOT TRUE! I weighed the same at my 6 week checkup as I did when I quit nursing, THEN I would start dropping the pounds. With each subsequent child, it did take a little longer to lose the weight, but it never started coming off while I was nursing.

I would also get the kids to help around the house. My 10 yr-old loads the dishwasher, sweeps the kitchen floor, and helps with the laundry. My 5 yr-old puts the dishes away, and is in charge of making sure the LR is picked up. My 4 yr-old is in charge of straightening the BR and emptying all of the smaller trash cans in the house into the kitchen trash when needed. My 16 month-old even helps by throwing away his own diapers (with my help of course, but it's a start!) They all put their own laundry away (baby gets help from biggest brother.) I know this may seem like a lot for kids, but they have to learn~my exhusband didn't even know how to make a bed when we got married, because his mother didn't believe in kids doing chores. I had chores growing up, and hated them, but after knowing my ex (and people like him) I am ALL FOR kids doing chores. It really is unfair to them to send them out into the world like that, knowing NO life skills.

Tonya
Hang in there! It gets better. Of course managing the household AND the kids is overwhelming and yes, the challenge of being a mother is learning to find time for "you". I have four kids and when they were tiny, my husband traveled 100,000 miles a year. It IS tough, but that being said - don't be so tough on yourself. First, sometimes it's okay to let the house go a little. I mean, housework will ALWAYS be there - it is never really done, so if you take a couple of mornings a week and walk in the strollerfit group OR with a neighbor/friend TWO things will happen: ONE - you'll have more energy and TWO you will begin to see your muscles firming up. The BONUS is that you'll release those good endorphins in your body and you'll FEEL brighter. God bless your husband for serving and God bless your unselfishness in supporting him for our country. Let me know what we MOMS can do for YOU.
Love yourself - I bet you look better than you think. We women are too hard on ourselves! Stay in touch.
____@____.com

Hey /tonya,

I can sympathize with your plight, I had three kids too & nursed them all. But the more you worry and stress about this the more miserable you will be. Sure it's great to have a kate moss body after giving birth but you live in the real world and you need to give yourself a break or trust me it will never come off. Enjoy this time with your baby, 6 weeks is nothing for your body. It takes time to heal, not only that but you are creating more cortizol streaming through your system which will make you hang on to weight. Stick with nursing your baby, eating right and drinking lots of water. After 10-12 months your body will be using major calories for your milk supply while you are eating healthy NOT dieting. Once you stop nursing you may have 5 lbs or so to go depending upon how much pregnancy weight you gained. I hope that helps.
But the less you eat the slower your metabolism will become so you need to keep up the calories and try to stay cheerful. You may have a little bit of baby blues too.

Hope this helps, take care

D. z.

Breast feeding is almost as tiring as being pregnant. It takes so much out of you, you have to eat well to provide nutrients for the baby. If you relax and not worry so much, some of your weight will come off naturally. Don't weigh yourself more than once a week. Make sure you are drinking plenty of water. Take a 20-30 minute walk every day, even if it is indoors. Do not eat any kind of junk food, like potato chips, candy bars. Take a nap when the baby naps.
Make sure your seven year old is helping with dishes, dusting, vacuuming.

You've gotten a lot of great advice from other moms, so I'll keep this brief.

First, I would like to express my gratitude to your husband for serving our country. May God keep him safe, and bring him home to your family soon. And may God bless you for holding down the fort in his absence.

Secondly, please take care of yourself. Stress is a silent enemy, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was responsible for your extra weight. You also need to stop your mind from racing at night so you can get some sleep. Tylenol PM is really great for those sleepless nights. :)

You are NOT alone in trying to do it all. I'm a single mom, too, and I know how overwhelming it can be. I hope it helps to just know that you're in good company.

Now go collect some hugs from those 3 kids of yours!!

Give yourself a break. Your husband is fighting for all our survival. My oldest son went to Iraq & left a 3yr old son & pregnant wife in our care while he was there. He's home now, {Thank the good Lord above} but the stress level of that year on all of us will never be forgotten. Another son went over but was single. I wasn't nearly as stressed. This is your HUSBAND gone. You are solely 24/7 the parent to 3 young, active children. My suggestion is to find a support group or start one. You need encouragement from people who understand what you're going through. Also, hire a sitter once a week or so & get out with a female friend. You need time for yourself. Don't stress over your weight. When you feel less stressed, it'll come off. Good luck!

Hi, my baby boy is 4 1/2 months old and i have actually gained back 10 lbs that i lost immediately after he was born. It is frustrating but I am hoping that I will get out when it turns warm and get some exercise.
As far as your home goes- check out Flylady.net. It is a free mentoring website. I joined after the birth of my second child 7 years ago and it has been a great help- good luck!

Hi Tonya =)

First let me say that I have 4 children of my own (11,9,9,and 1) and I learned a long time ago that my house is not going to be clean and STAY that way until my chidren are grown lol. I understand having 3 little ones at once, my oldest was 2 when the twins were born, and my exhusband NEVER helped with the kids or the house. I've learned to do what I can do, and the rest will be waiting for me again tomorrow. Now would be a good time to get your 7 year old and your 3 year old helping a bit around the house with age appropriate chores. My boys started by folding the wash cloths when they were around 3 ~ yes, folding wash cloths aren't going to be a big help to you... but it's the beginning of teaching children that being in a family is being part of a team. It takes help from everyone to keep the team going. I bet your 7 year old would love to run the vaccuum cleaner! Then as they get older, their chores will become even more helpful. (my 11 yr old son even does laundry!) This will also help your children to become self sufficient as they grow into young adults. (I'll be darned if my boys will grow up to have wives that have to pick up after them! LOL!)

As far as the weight loss, that will come. Your body is still adjusting and getting back to normal... it's only been 4 months. =) Do you have any friends with small children that might trade babysitting favors so that you take turns getting out there to exercise? I know our local YMCA has free childcare while you use their facilities. Weight Watchers is another great program that has adjustments for nursing mothers. Keep eating right (like you are) and drinking water.. grabbing exercise while you can.. it will come!

Good luck and have fun with those babies!

Thank you for the sacrifice your family makes for our country. I am sure that because of your husband being gone it adds a lot of stress to you life. I just thought that I would put a bug in your ear: stress makes you gain weight, especially around the middle. Try your best to relax, find little ways to treat yourself: sit down and have a cup of tea (or what ever you prefer), take a hot bath like someone else suggested, give yourself a little quiet time, do something everyday for yourself! And dont stress about the house-having a spotless house really doesnt matter that much in the grand scheme of things (not as much as your health, your families relationship etc..).

I would have my Thyroid checked .After my thrid was born I could not loss weight I would gain if I eat more then 1200 calories .Turns out it was my Thyroid It took 3 years before I got a doctor to do a blood test . I thought I was lossing my mind .

Hi Tonya!
Thank you for writing this request! I have thought about writing a similar one myself. I haven't even read half of the replies you recieved & I am encouraged already!
You are amazing! You have 3 children & you are running a household singlehandedly. Having one newborn is overwhelming enough by itself (and I have the help of my husband).
I have been discouraged about the leftover baby weight I have as well. I look at myself in the mirror some days & think "Ugh!" My stomach muscles are so stretched out of shape. I look like I did when I was 5 or 6 months pregnant! I don't know how my husband still finds me attractive, but he does. I know my baby doesn't care, & when I think about it, I would rather be a little overweight & nursing him then back to my old self & not. I have also heard & read that you retain 5-10 lbs. of weight while nursing & I found that to be encouraging (knowing that at some point the extra weight may still disapear).
I know it gets discouraging sometimes (especially when you don't fit any of your old clothes & have to go out & buy new ones!), but I guess we just have to be patient & try to take it easy & enjoy life with our kids!
May God bless you & your family & I hope you are encouraged.

Hi:) I'm just catching up on emails since having my son 3 weeks ago so you may not need my advice but I thought I'd write any how. I would try keeping a food diary. You said you eat healthy food, but sometimes you kind of lose track of the small things you pop in your mouth or are eating more than a true serving size. Also, just eat from a smaller plate (like a salad plate) and you can trick your mind in to thinking that you ate more because the plate is full!
Good Luck:)

I feel ya. I'm a mother of 3 and 2 of them are old enoough to do most work around here, just getting them involved is a BIGGER chore than doing it myself. I do most of the work around here, Cleaning that is and I feel that I've gained more weight. Its sad for me because my youngest is 2. So I truly feel ya. I don't get out much do to the fact that everyones schedule here is all screwed up. The sleep loss I totally understand. But you need to try to relax and not worry too much due to the fact that it can lead to sleep apnea. That's what happend to me and one thing I know is not getting enough sleep can cause you to either gain or lose..more so here for me gain, cuz I want to eat more. My body tells me I need the food to replace the sleep. Stress is one thing that is hard to control. Try to find someone to watch your kids for a few hours out of the day to clean and take a HOT RELAXING BATH...wish I could have that..and I have myself and the kids' father here. Just the fact that my kids fight a lot and ran sack the house before everyones eyes. On top we have 2 adult dogs, 10 new puppies (soon to give away), and 3 cats. Crazy...I know. But the babysitting thing works. Sorry wasn't any help. Just letting you know I REALLY DO know how you feel.

Hello Tonya,

So many of us are understanding to your frustration.

Check out www.momsmark.com

Tiffany is a trainer that will come to your home at a time that is good for you !! She will put together a program from what you buy at the grocery store to an exercise work out that focuses on your needs.

This in turn will effect the entire family in a positive way.

Sign up for the e-newsletter that you will receive monthly that has awesome tips for you and the entire family.

Good luck.

J.

You have a year to lose the weight. Give yourself a break. Some people hold onto the weight until they stop nursing. You're body NEEDS some fat stores for survival and health of your baby.
~A nurse

If you INCREASE your food and nutritional intake when nursing you should lose faster. When you limit your diet while nursing, your body will hold on to any available store of energy or nutrients for longer. Eat more! Now isn't that advice that's easy to follow?!

Honestly, I eat constantly, and I am still exclusively nursing my daughter at 7 months. Even eating a lot of waffles, pasta, ice cream, meat, cheese, I saw dramatic weight loss progress at 3 months and 6 months, and continued to lose steadily in between. I am now back to pre-pregnancy weight, and I really haven't done much more (if even any more) meaningful physical activity.

i wouldn't worry about your weight right now. i nursed for 5 months and didn't lose anything. my son is almost 11 months now and i've just started to lose some of the weight i gained while preggers. sometimes it just takes time.
as for keeping your house clean, i saw on supernanny one time when the family made it a game for the kids to help clean (though with young ones, i'd nix the mr. clean and go for a vinegar water solution that won't hurt them if they swallow some). perhaps you can devise a system of "get to have this reward or play this game once these chores are done everyday this week..) you can keep a weekly calendar with stars to put on when things are accomplished and they can see how thier effort makes a difference. the lack of reward or game would be punishment enough for not doing chored at these ages, i think.
good luck!!!

Hey Tonya, Don't be so hard on your self everyone told me it takes 9 months to get that way and it will probably take 9 months to get back to normal. Which I know my body hasn't and probably will never go back to normal, such as perky breasts and a flat belly or the strech marks. You have alot on your plate right now and I know cleaning the house seems like the main priority but everything doesn't have to be done in one day. Believe me I'm a stay at home mom who has no family or friends around here and all I do is laundry, clean , cook and change diapers all day. It's kinda like groundhog day everyday. LOL! When the weather gets nice just take walks and play with the kids and the weight will come off, especially chasing the kids, lack of sleep, and the stress alone is a diet. It's also hard to not eat because your breastfeeding, so you have to take care of yourself so you and your baby can be healthy. I hope I can help, take care of yourself.

It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and that things are very frustrating. It is not easy being a Mom of three, especially for you because your Husband is away. I am also a mother of three (5, 3, and 9mo.) and a stay at home mom. I also struggle with losing baby weight....I think that exercise is the key. My plan is to work on an exercise video or my gazelle machine while the kids are napping or before they get up in the morning. I have just a couple suggestions for trying to keep up with the cleaning. I keep some cleaners and rags in the bathroom upstairs(our only bathroom) so I can spot clean when necessary. I use those clorox or lysol disinfectant wipes to spot clean at times, too. I have tried cleaning while the older kids play with toys in the tub at bathtime and that seems to work too. I have some special toys for the kids to play with while I clean and they only play with them at times like that. That keeps them interested and occupied for the amount of time I need to clean. Sometimes, instead of doing all of the cleaning in one day, I split it up over two or three days which seems to make it more manageable. I am not sure how you do your laundry, but I used to do it all in one day. I have found it much easier to do it two or three times a week instead. There is not as much to do each time and it is more manageable.
It is hard to let things go sometimes, but I think that it is ok to do that. It's ok to not dust one week because you want to spend more time with your kids. The dust and dirt will always wait, but your kids won't wait to grow up. Even though you may not think that you have the time, it is very important for you to do things for yourself...take some time and devote it to yourself. Even if it is just coloring in a coloring book(that is something I find relaxing), or listening to music, or soaking in a bathtub, or just sitting and relaxing for a few minutes. It is amazing how much better you feel when you take some time for yourself.
I hope that I have helped a little. Best wishes to you.

I'm also a stay at home Mom! I have been for a year now! I really enjoy it but there are days I feel like I don't get anything done! So I know what your saying! Then on getting back in shape: You have these women that say, "Well I wore my normal jeans home when I left the hospital!" Good for them! When I had my oldest I took one of what I called,"My skinny jeans" with me just to see! If anything I wanted to cry! No way was I getting into them. My legs I could but getting them buttoned wasn't happing! So with my first one my husband and I took walks and I also used the little guy to help me exercise.lol Lay on your back and put your legs up and then bend them! Then with you also having a 7 and 3 year old use them too for different weights! After you have your legs bent put which ever child on their tummy on your legs. Then do have every many leg left that you want! My 4 year old and 19 month old love it! Then we also a couple times a week put a music cha. on t.v. and dance! That is a very good way to help get down to what you want! Plus it is fun! You sound a lot like me!lol Anymore I'm on the computer late because I have so much on my mind! I have had two weeks of craziness! Just to make this short 3 weeks my Mom wasn't feeling well and her and my Dad just thought it was the FLU!!!! Well when she had it for over a week a few of my brothers figured it was time to hale her booty to be checked out! Thank heavens they did! My Mom had pheuma! So she was in the hospital for a week! Now she is having Rehab! Not sure when she will getting to come home.. My Mom is on the right track to getting better! My Mom is almost 77 and still runs her on business and worked every day of the week! There was no stopping her or slowing her down... So if anything this is a well over do vacation to regroup! My sleep and every day happenings are totally out of whack! My Husband has been so wonderful with all of this! When my Mom was in the hospital I was there a lot! Which was bad but good! I was there from like a Monday night to a Wed. afternoon when she was at the hospital! My Hubby got a taste of being home with the kid's. So all that has happened has mad eme more aware what my purpose in life is now! Which some days I really didn't know! Well good luck and if you evr need to vent or chat I'm a good listener and I'll help if I can! Take care....

:) S.

I have 3 kids myself, ages 10, 7 and 2. I am a SAHM who is a clean freak. It is hard to keep a clean house with 3 kids. I try to take the weekends off from cleaning to spend with my family. By the time Sunday comes I feel like a tornado has ran through the house. I came up with a chart of chores I will do everyday. It helps alot because I don't feel overwhelmed. I also have the older kids do little things to help out. You can have one empty the trash from the bathrooms. The other can gather all the dirty clothes from the rooms. Little things like that make a big difference. Don't give them to much to do just enough to teach them responsibility. As far as losing weight goes, it is harder to lose weight after each child. Like I said I also have 3 kids and I had a hard time losing weight after my 2 yr. old. I have always been skinny so I got really depressed about my weight. But after time it finally went away and I am back to my prebaby weight. I ate smaller meals and if I got hungry after dinner I just drank water. I cut out soda also. My husband bought me a treadmill but I didn't use it much because who has time for themselves with a new baby and 2 other kids. Just give your body time to get back to normal. I was stuck at 136 for about 8 months until I started to lose any weight. Good luck!!! God bless your husband and I will pray for his safe return home!

I can only tell you that I have the same problem. I have 4 children whom I have EBF. Through all of them I have held on to an extra 20 pounds. It sucks!
I am struggling with the same thing my baby is 10 months old.
My advice and what has worked for me in the past is to keep eating right, like you are, and excerise. By the time your little one is ready to wean you will drop the wieght.
I know it is hard. I have to keep reminding myself that this is how my body works. Not like the rest of the nursing population who lose weigh while EBF!

As for your house, give yourself a break. You are a single parent to the moment. Your children are small and need YOU not a clean house. Do what you can! and don't stress.
In the big picture your children will one day be grown and gone and then you can have a clean,organized house.
For now enjoy them, be there for them. it is only for a short while.

Keep your head up.

God bless you. I really feel for you. Stress makes it harder to lose weight that's for sure. I hope you have support around you to get to have sometime to yourself. I don't know if you are in a cold weather climate but do some activities with your kids. Take them all for a walk with you. One they will tire out for you and also you get some exercise and get to release some stress at the same time. You also are teaching your kids about taking care of themselves too. My mother told me before she passed that she wished she did not worry so much about her house and spent more time with us. You have to decide what is necessary and what can wait. Ask for help. Sometimes youth groups at churches or schools are looking for community service hours for graduation. Contact your church or local school especially if your income is limited. Maybe even a senior group where grandma type would want to help you. Good luck to you.

Oh honey, you're doing just fine! So much on your plate and
no one to help. Are you sure you need to go back to school so
soon? How important is it right now. You're overloaded
already. Be patient with yourself. Try to get into a routine
that works and just do what seems most important. It's more
important that you be rested (HA) and try to enjoy your little
kids! This time will pass! I thank you for your sacrifice
and tell your husband he's in our prayers. Remember to ask
God for the strength you need for just ONE DAY AT A TIME.
He'll do the rest. love, Mary

hello there. I too am a mom of 3.. Mine are 6, 4 and 5 months old. I too stress about housework, my bf works 2-11pm so most of the time its like i am a single parent, I also homeschool my 6 yr old so that adds to the stress.. anxiety is a terrible thing and I have gone through panic attacks ect..Only do what you can do, my grandmother had 5 children, she used to say my kids will only be little once the dust will be there tomorrow.. I try to remember that when I feel like I cant get it all together. Altho the schedule the one mom left seems like a nice agenda and I might try it my self to see if it helps me be a little more organized. Im always looking for little hints or helpers to keep better order.

First I want to say thank you to your husband and your family for serving our country. I've been there and I fully believe that the family serves right along with the military person.

Next, I have 4 kids 10,8,4 and 1 1/2. I also babysit a 10, 7 and 6yr old during the week. I have a full time job at night and get next to no sleep. Here's the best advice I can give: Don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy the big stuff.

I spend a lot of time apologizing for my house but every kid in the neighbor loves coming here. Luckily I'm not afraid to put children to work. In my house anyone over 2yrs that comes here or lives here more than 2 days a week is subject to cleaning rules. If they spill they clean. If they play with it they put it up. My oldest children have chores. Sometimes its not easy getting them to do them ut bribbery is good. Movie night with a junk food dinner is there favorite. I have even had there friends volunteer to clean. Especially when my kids can't go out til its done. Great motivataion.I clean my living room everyday while watching t.v. The kitchen is a work in progress all the time. Somedays I make my 4yr old go nap when my little one does just for the purpose of cleaning. I've found that sometimes you just need to ask for a little help though. Have someone watch the children for a few hours a week so you can get a few things done. You would be suprised at how much you will all enjoy it. Above all else remember that your children will not remember how clean or messy the house was but they will remember your frustration or maybe they will remember how much you sacrificed to spend that extra time with them while dad was away.
As for the weight, let summer take care of that.

Girlfriend LET IT GO! Your stress level has got to be high. You have a husband that is helping to keep our country safe, and I know that has to be on your mind constantly. May God bless you, your husband and your family. It doesn't sound like you have time for yourself, and you sound pretty overwhelmed. Don't feel guilty because there are other moms that you think are doing more than you. If your babies are happy and healthy, be proud of yourself. Give yourself a GREAT BIG HUG and LOVE YOURSELF! You are NOT ALONE! There are plenty of us struggling with all that is going on in our lives. If you are doing the best you can, don't sweat it. If someone is complaining, let them know they are welcome to come clean your house anytime they want! :)

Go to sleep... you deserve the rest.

B.

Tonya,
If you really want to lose weight, get some TaeBo "Billy Blanks" video's and pop them in when the kids are napping, or do it before they get up. Dedicate a hour to exercise a day, 4- 5 days a week. You will lose weight. You will start seeing results in 6-10 weeks. It worked for me, three times! Goodluck.

4 months really isn't that long to not have lost weight. Since you're still breastfeeding, your metabolism should be a bit higher, meaning your body is using more calories a day to keep your body going and create breastmilk. Try to complete some form of cardio a couple times a week. Try drinking water instead of snacking between meals. Eat smaller meals more often throughout the day. I used to make a normal sized meal and split it in two. Then I would drink water between those smaller meals. Eating more often will help stimulate your metabolism. Since kids tend to snack all day long (at least mine do), sometimes it's easier to get a more small meals in than eating a full sit-down meal.

After I had my second son, my metabolism has completely changed. I used to think about losing weight, hardly work out ever, and weight would fall off. I used to have to remember to eat. Now, I can workout, diet, drink water, etc and it seems very hard to keep it off. As soon as I eat the smallest piece of cake or sugary snack the weight is riht back. So. I understand how frustrating it is trying to get the weight off.

-S.

Tonya,
My heart goes out to you. You seemed to be overwhelmed! I might suggest you recruit your mother, mother-in-law, friend, or another mom you can share play dates with, to come over to help clean the house and allow you more time to focus on the kids and taking care of YOURSELF! Taking care of YOU is key! Just getting out 30 minutes a day to walk briskly will improve your mood, your stamina, and your quality of life!

Another thought, it's an unrealistic expectation to clean your house once and have it clean for up to a week, not with 3 children! Please, give yourself a break in that regard.

You don't know me, but I would enjoy coming to help you with some of your needs! You can send me a private message and I will share my contact information with you so that we can talk.

Trust in God,
D.

I have 3 children under age 9...I have a wonderful husband and absolutely couldn't do it without him. (I also work full time as a substitute teacher...I really mean full time too) Anyway, I am not sure if you have heard of Flylady, but she has helped me alot. She has a free website. I will warn you that the website can be overwhelming and if you sign up to receive emails they can be overwhelming but it is worth it. Take it little baby steps at a time. If you can, visit her website and give it a chance. Not everything works for me but I use what I can. Her website is www.flylady.net Hope this helps!!

I was a 4 when I got pregnant-I had it all planned on how I was going to lose the weight within 6 weeks of birth...65 pounds later...
I worked out through the new mom exaustion, dieted, took diet pills, everything you could do and nothing worked after the first month or two. Finally around 9 months- it just went away in 6 weeks. I wasn't even working out anymore. They say it takes 9 months to get that way and 9 months to get back. Take it easy on yourself-it just may take some time. When your body is ready, it will happen. Good luck and don't stress out too bad-you have a beautiful baby!

My heart goes out to you Tonya! I could give you all of the fluffy words of inspiration and congratulations that you will undoubtedly recieve from our other members of the site...instead I'm going to tell you about my secret! I am a SAHM of five kids and what keeps me organized and SANE is this awesome Christian based website: flylady.net
Best of luck to you and I hope it works as good for you as it has for me! Blessings, T.

Rachel C had some GREAT advice! This might help a little too. My girls and I have been doing this since my little one was around three, so your two older ones should be able to pick this up! We sit at the breakfast table and figure out what "needs" to be done to get the house clean... We each pick out a few things that we know we can do and work on them for the rest of the day (of course, you can start w/an hour or a couple of hours)... We call it "TEAM CLEAN" and it still works now that they are 10 and 8! The three year old can do the "low" stuff. My youngest used to pick up the toys, wipe down the baseboards, stuff like that. Both my kids started making their own beds by kindergarten and within a year could strip them and replace sheets, so your seven year old could start doing that! And, the one rule is that when you are finished w/your jobs, you have to help those who are not finished... Usually the kids start helping you and then they learn how to do the hard stuff... Next time around, the older one might say, "gee Mom, I could mop the kitchen"... Seriously, get them to do it while their young, they won't do it when they are teenagers!!! This might give you a little more time to get some rest, once that happens, your weight will start to melt away, just give it time! Good luck and God Bless!

Hi Tonya,
First THANK YOU and your husband for keeping me and my family safe and to you for letting him be gone to keep us safe. I know it's hard to loose weight. Where do you live and how much family support do you have? Maybe a friend or family member can help you. That way you could clean house or just have some time to yourself. My husband works nights and I spend a lot of time alone. My parents live over an hour away and right now I'm not on good terms with my mother-in-law who lives right down the street. I jump at the chance to get away for a little while. I hope that helps and that you get what you need. Good luck with things and have a great week.

With breastfeeding its a tough battle between eating enough and not eating enough. Keep a food diary for a few days and add up the calories eaten to make sure you are getting enough calories. You can go to mypyramid.gov and put in your height, weight, and age and it will tell you how many calories you need a day as well as how many servings from each food group you should be getting. With breastfeeding you should be eating an extra 300 calories (I think that's right) a day to help maintain a healthy breastmilk supply and enough nutrients for both of you. If you are not eatig enough your weight will stay the same or you may even gain as your body goes into starvation mode and stores everything you eat. I hope this helps. I had a rough time after #2 as he was failure to thrive (couldn't latch) and I ended up pumping every bottle he had from 2 mo to 9 mo when my milk dried up. I had 2 kids 23 mo apart and a husband who is a truck driver and gone most of the time so trying to pump, feed, clean pump and bottles, play with older one, cook meals for myself and a barely 2 yr old and keep up with house work was nearly impossible. It can be done and you may need to ask for some help just to get reorganized then you can stay on top of the mess that way.

My gosh girl! Give yourself the ok to not worry about your weight! You have got so much on your plate with just your every day issues. I do not know how you do it alone! I know that I never really lost weight until I was done breastfeeding. Some people lose it right away and some don't. Do you have family or friends that can watch the kids so you can walk by yourself? Not just for fitness but just to reduce some of your stress. I find that even when I walk with a stroller I am frequently having to respond to the one in the stroller. Walking by yourself would give you some time to let your mind run and not be interrupted. Add to that that you are going to school?!
Remember your kids think you are the greatest no matter what you look like! That's really all that matters are the kids and you and you all holding together as a family while your husband is serving the country! (as if that wasn't a stress in itself)

Tell your husband thank you from our family and feel free to rely on the generosity of others! You deserve it and have earned it!!

P.S. Try Fly Lady. Google her and you will get to her website. She cleans and organizes your house in 15 minutes a day. It is an awsome site for perfectionists and procrastinaters.

Tonya, remember to take one day at a time. Also get your older kids involved in clean up, even the 3 year old can put up their toys, and the 7 year old should be helping with even a little more. Make picking up toys and things a bedtime ritual, pick up toys, bath time then bed or however it works best for you. I would let my boys fold towels and wash clothes during laundry, it didn't matter if they were perfect or not they were in a closet and they just get reused over and over. Another ideal is do you have a neighbor who has a teenage daughter who can come and help you for a few hours? I did that on Saturday mornings til my youngest was almost 1, it helped a lot and didn't cost much but gave her a little extra money too. Hope this helps.

Your baby is only 4 months and the weather has been terrible. Once it's nice and beautiful you'll want to get outside. Sometimes taking a break from dieting helps, too. If you do it for too long you get stagnant. Good luck!

Okay, first of all, you are doing great if you're raising your three children by yourself while your husband's serving our country! I cannot imagine. And, thank you! To make you feel better, I have 1 two year old, work from home & have full time Daddy assistance evenings & weekends...I still can't manage to keep my house clean for more than a week! So, welcome to the club!

Regarding your interest in losing weight...do you know what your blood type is? I highly recommend eating for your blood type. There's a book, "Eat Right For Type". by Peter D'Adamo that explains this "diet". It is not a "diet" in the sense that you are limiting your calories to lose weight - it is more about what foods you are choosing to eat & whether or not they are benefiting your body. Try it for 6 weeks and see if you don't notice a difference, not only in your weight - but in the way that you feel. *Important note - if you know your baby's blood type - you could also merge both of your beneficial food choices together to create some super great breast milk for your little one too - and remember, this "diet" a.k.a. "way of eating" will not do anything to deplete your baby's nutrition in the process. Oh, and drink tons of water! Good luck!

just a quick comment. i think you are putting to much pressure on yourself. I don't think i lost a single unce for the frist 5 or six months. i am now back to my prebaby weight. it took almost a year, and i have kept the weight off. my son is now 2 1/2. start slow. one extra 10 minute stroller walk can make a world of difference. besides, we are just getting out of winter, who wants to get outside with thre kids and snow on the ground. don't be so hard on yourself. easier said then done, i know, but just give yourself time : )

WHOA! Slow down! Don't be so hard yourself. You've got a lot on your plate. You are understandably worried about your husband, taking care of 3 kids by yourself, trying to run your entire home by yourself, and trying to lose weight. God didn't do it all in one day so don't be so hard on yourself for falling a bit short. None of us are perfect. Take it easy. Forgive yourself first, then sit down and make a plan. Please please please let go of the guilt! If you need me, I'm here. Just send a reply to me. I wish you the best! Shannon

It took you 9 months to gain the weight, it should take 9 months to rid yourself of it.Play with your kids, a messy house doesn't mean it's dirty.Keep it clean, but messy who cares.If folks come over to see you then visit with them, if they come over to see your house the heck with them.Any real friend would offer to help you.

Please be kind to yourself. You are under incredible stress and the day to day functioning of a family is hard enough without your other half to help you. Believe me when I say that your house cleaning can wait- your kids need you 100%. With the weather starting to get nicer- go for walks and do things that clear your mind. Your weight loss is not as important as your sanity right now.

Good luck to you and thanks to you and your husband for your sacrifise.

Hi Tonya
<<<hugs>>> I know you are having a bad day but, I am inspired by you..the willingness to lose weight be a great mom and keep a clean home....and honey you got it worse than a single parent ok single mamas dont have to worry about husbands fighting to save our country, and wondering every min, of every day if they are ok...I have been a single mom to 4 kids and the hardest part was a clean house every had chores( they still do) and everyone did there part , but trust me it still wasnt perfect, or clean...it was...tidy, but hey it worked or us...I never lst weight bf...ever I have 6 kids and am still trying to lose weight...my little baby is almost 9 mos old, not to mention the weihgt i am still carrying fro the first 5 lol ...my dr told me to look at my mom and grandma and see what there bodys are....an how they carried there weight..he told me that was how I was going to carry mine,,,, work out queen or not..so play with your kids, turn cleaning into famliy time make it fun...like others have said ...your kids will remember you playing with them and the things you did as a family more than a clean house, or a chubby mom......good luck and thank you for your unselfish sacrfice! Your family is in my prayers

S.

God Bless your family! Of course you're having a little problem keeping house clean and EVERYTHING ELSE! Don't worry too much about your weight, yet. Keep eating healthy (as much as you can) and concentrate on being a good Mom and staying in touch with your husband. Amazing, isn't it, that we can do such a thing nowdays? Just the adjustment of staying home, not going to school right now, and coping with normal (? what is that, anyway?) is plenty.

I'd be happy to keep in touch and be supportive or a soudingboard or whatever you need, having been there, done that. My babies are 17 year old (twin) girls, and a 14 year old son. 3 Teens!

much love to you-

My husband is deployed to Afghanistan for 15 months. We have two kiddos--4 and 10 mos. And I so sick of not having lost the weight from my last one, but then I remind myself, that I have a bit more on my plate than the "average" mommy, doing it by myself plus having the added stress of worrying about my husband being in a war zone. My advice is this: Go easy on yourself. You can only do so much and reward yourself--even if it is "just" a verbal pat on the back--for even the smallest things you've accomplished during the day. And remember two things... First, a pound NOT gained is one less you have to lose later, so be happy about that. Second, your husband loves you for you and whenever he returns he will want to be with you--not your clean house. All the best! Good luck!

Tonya!

Stop stressing! Have fun! Get out there and enjoy your kids and stop worrying about your house! Is it nasty? I doubt it!
You have three kids to deal with. So your house is a little messy, you can't do it all girl! It's almost Spring get outside and enjoy the nice weather. Your house will be there!
And maybe the fresh air and exercise will give you more energy. I find walking to be a great stress reliever and good exercise.
Good luck!