Baby Wearing & Sleeping

Honestly, I'm a baby wearing mama and my kids do not sleep well away from me. My oldest (3 1/2) goes to sleep in her bed but within a couple of hours she wakes up and comes in bed with me. My youngest (6 months) is still nursing and she sleeps with me. It works ok for me because my husband works nights so there is plenty of room in our bed!

H. M.
http://hannahmayr.blogspot.com

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I just treated baby wearing as a tool for transportation and soothing, not her default state. Freedom of movement is essential to physical and intellectual development.

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I'll be honest and say that it was a struggle for us to get my little ones to sleep in their cribs because they were worn all the time, but they never slept with us. They stayed in the room for two months next to the bed in a bassinet but not in our bed. I think in some ways it is easier to have them down once they get the routine of it a little because they get SO much attention and love and cuddles during the day that they get their little "love tanks" pretty full. I don't know if it was hard to teach them to lay down because they were worn, or because they were tiny babies and I didn't do CIO?

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I wore my last baby who is now 16 months. This carrying concept was new for me too. He was a difficult baby (still is, if you read my recent posts). My baby cries too much. When he was an infant, I kept him in his bassinet, swing, crib, and bouncer--whatever worked at that moment to keep him calm and content. I used my baby carrier (pediatrician recommended I get one), just like the other things to put him in for a breather. I never carried him all the time in the carrier because it was not possible. That's how I used the baby carrier. Now, I've read on this site that many moms who breastfeed use the carrier religiously as it helps make things easier for them. I think it depends on how you mother and what works best for both you and your baby.

I hope this helps:)

M.

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I tried baby wearing, but my son hated it!!! I only wanted to wear him, to get things done, or at the store. (car seats are heavy!) He was just so darn independent. He liked to lay on his back and kick, be active, and sleep on his own. I am SO glad now, that he was naturally like this. I am in a group of friends, who are more into the natural parenting. (whatever that means!) Not one of them that baby-wears, doesn't have trouble with their babies, or toddlers sleeping. All of the babies need to be on them, to sleep. They either have to co-sleep, or did already. Co-sleeping, is just not for me. I NEED my own space, so does my husband. Some of them wanted to co-sleep, some of them are stuck with it. I would think hard, about wearing the baby all the time, because this seems to be a problem. Also, and I don't know if this is a coincidence, or not...but they were all (mostly) behind on some milestones. Rolling, crawling, etc. I personally think, it might be that the moms wore/wear them all the time. They didn't get to be very active and I don't think that's very fair. I think there are benefits, but wearing all time I think has some downfalls. If the baby is very colicky, or sick it can really help. If your baby is a happy, active baby...I don't think it's very fair to the baby. I love babies, but I wouldn't want to have to hold him all the time. He has always slept in his own space and that is great for my marriage, sanity, and sleep!! Just my opinion, of course!!

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The concept of full time baby wearing was not for me but tat is the general idea. You wear the baby all the time. I wear my baby quite a bit but not all day. He sleeps with me from about 4 am on until we get out of bed. Other that that he is in the exersaucer a little or when he was small in the bouncer. He can now sit up and sits on the floor with toys and plays. Or sits in the high chair and eats. I wore him all the time in the first few weeks. But I think everything in moderation. He loves being in the carrier and I really like using it. He is in there for walks and shopping. We almost never use a stroller.
I guess what it comes down to is your and the baby's personalities. I should add he never cries or fusses and I just think that is him. But it could be because I never let him. I just pick him up of he seems like he is getting grumpy.

There are times it is very helpful to have a baby carrier. But you are exactly right about the drawbacks. I live up 2 flights of stairs so I used my baby carrier a lot for that. Neither of my kids liked being carried all the time and my back got tired. Most outings I used a stroller when practical but it can be a pain is some situations like stairs or limited space.

Even babywearing experts will tell you you need to put the baby down some. But when they are tiny - up to 6-8 weeks, you can't really hold them too much. I used my ring sling with my second, and it was great to have my hands free to play with our oldest. But she also wanted to play with the baby, so I would put her on the floor for big sister to entertain her for a while, too. Baby R sometimes struggled to fall asleep when she was that small, so I would put her in the sling and dance/bounce her to sleep. But as soon as she was a month old, I started putting her down drowsy, but awake whenever possible. Sometimes she would fuss for a few minutes and go to sleep on her own. Sometimes she would scream and cry, so I would put her in the sling and get her to sleep all the way. But it was a starting point to keep her from being dependent on that tactic all the time. It's all about moderation. Use the sling when it benefits both of you. Don't use it to the degree it becomes a crutch.

Also, teach your husband and mom or other caregiver to wear it, too, so the baby can get used to others being safe havens for her. I wish I had done that. Congratulations! Everything will be fine.

I don't think most mom's wear the sling/baby all day long. They are convenient for breast-feeding as they can eat while you are carrying the baby and no one else even notices they are eating. They are also convenient when shopping. As far as wearing them at home and carrying their baby all day long, I have not met a mom that does that. The ones I have seen using slings only use them when they are away from home. Babies do need to have alone time when they sleep and play so they become more independent and learn to do things on their own. None of my kids ever went through the clingy stage. When they woke up in the morning they usually played in their crib and cooed and talked for at least 15-20 minutes before we went to get them. They had a good time playing in their cribs when they were happy in the morning. We had fun listening to them through the baby monitor. They did enjoy playing in the living room being aware that I was close by but didn't fuss or cry if I went to the kitchen for a few minutes to get a drink or something to eat. Sometimes they would crawl to the door to see what I was doing but didn't need to be held all day long and none of them hung on my legs as I have seen other kids do that were very clingy. Even my colic daughter that cried for 5 months and got held a lot wasn't a clingy child and once that stage was over she was content playing by herself in the playpen or crib. Out of the 3 she had the biggest imagination and could make playing fun out of anything, even silverware and napkins at a restaurant could entertain her if she got bored. She still has a great imagination and is a good writer, especially mystery stories. She may even write a book someday.

I baby carried both of my kids, but I used the carrier mostly when we were out. With my daughter, I did use my sling to get her to go down for a nap for a long time (up to 6 or 7 months). With my son, who had much more colic, I didn't: he hated the sling and I wanted to teach him how to sleep on his own.

Sleep is a habit, so your concern is perfectly correct:if baby is always use to sleeping on you during the day, then baby will expect the same at night. During the first 8 weeks, it doesn't matter. You will see that you will need to hold baby to help baby fall asleep, but around 12 weeks, their sleep becomes more like ours. It is at this point you have to start teaching them how to put themselves to sleep. Get the No Cry sleep solution book...basically you nurse and put the baby down and repeat until baby falls asleep awake on his/her own.

But I'd say around 8 weeks, it's really important that you start instituting good habits. I started early with my son, around 5 weeks, and he has always been a better sleeper than his sister. He had more colic (a good 2 hours of screaming for a good 6 week period), but he started sleeping through the night very early. Since I taught him how to go to sleep on his own, he also will let me transfer him from his car seat to his crib. He will wake up, but he will go back to sleep. My daughter never did that. She is a terrible sleeper.

It's really up to you as to what you want to do. I have a lot of friends that co-sleep. I don't like being touched when I sleep, so that wasn't really an option for me. It took time to teach my son how to sleep on his own (without CIOing), but I did it, and am glad I did. Nursing babies like to nurse all night long --if you let them!

As you say... Your a planner... Plan for either option... I LOVE my sling... But baby at times hates it... She loved it when she was smaller (she's 7 months now and rolling and sitting up herself now)... She's the youngest of 4 so she's a nosey baby...
I can't say I was a full time baby wearing momma... There are times when baby wants down... And its also good to have baby learn that they can amuse themselves...

As to the sleeping thing... With the first 3 kiddos we had a bassinet in our room and the only time they were in our bed was when they woke up at around 5 to nurse... I'd pull them in bed with me till it was time to get up. (We have been blessed with babys that sleep for 7 -10 hour stretches from birth... Yeah, they are 10 lbs or so at birth, but they sleep. lol) Our 4th on the other hand is a horse of a different color.... I had a lot of issues with gallstones during the pregnancy and it forced me to slow myself down... I also realized that she MAY be our last so I am totally involved with enjoying her! She is the most mommy attatched baby we have had and as soon as she sees or hears me her face either crumples into tears or breaks out into huge grins... Daddy can not calm her... ONLY mommy.... And she is NOSEY! She wants to be in the midst of all the activity...SO being able to put her in a sling sometimes gives my arms a rest... But she does get tired of it after a bit... She has slept in our bed the most BECAUSE she sleeps better being able to put her nose in my arm pit... lol (yes, she nurses so its sorta like she's standing at the fridge looking in while sleep walking) lol But now at 7 months old she is sleeping in her crib in the kids room... And we started that by just putting her down for naps in the crib so she knew that was for sleeping...

I guess my point is that you can have a non baby wearing mom who's kid only wants to sleep with them and a baby wearing mom's kid who has no problems... you just need to see what feels right to you and your baby when it gets here....
Congrats!