E.K. asks from Kirkland, WA on December 03, 2011
Baby Waking and Wanting Pacifier (a.k.a. Dear God, I'm So Tired!)
So, my baby (20 weeks old) is incredibly oral...has been since birth. Everyone, including her occupational therapist, noted that a pacifier is a must for her: she simply has a biological need to suck on something. Currently, she can go about 8 hours at night: she goes down between 7 and 8, wakes up between 10 and 11 for a feeding, and can sleep until about 7 am. BUT, around 1:30am/2, the nightly pacifier frustration starts. She wakes up almost hourly, wanting us to put the binky back in her mouth. I'm not sure that the missing pacifier is the whole problem, because if it falls out between 7 and 11, she sleeps right through it. I do wonder if she's getting gas from her late night feed (she's usually sound asleep by the end, so doesn't burp. I give her some Mylicon gas drops, and put her back to bed). When she struggles to get those farts out, she notices the missing pacifier and it all begins. I'm exhausted. She's exhausted. Husband is exhausted.
Any ideas of what I can do to help remedy this situation?
Featured Answers
J.S. answers from Minneapolis on December 03, 2011
My sister in law has photos of her kids sleeping in bed with (literally) like 15 pacifiers all over the crib.
Her solution to having to get up and find it for baby was to put a ton in there with the kid, so when they wake, they can't help but roll over and put their hand on one.
Just an idea.
J.
5 moms found this helpful
L.*. answers from Chicago on December 03, 2011
I have a friend who put a shelf up behind her son's crib for additional pacis so in the middle of the night he could grab another one. It worked for her=) Good luck !
2 moms found this helpful
More Answers
J.S. answers from Minneapolis on December 03, 2011
My sister in law has photos of her kids sleeping in bed with (literally) like 15 pacifiers all over the crib.
Her solution to having to get up and find it for baby was to put a ton in there with the kid, so when they wake, they can't help but roll over and put their hand on one.
Just an idea.
J.
5 moms found this helpful
S.C. answers from Des Moines on December 03, 2011
Teach her to suck her thumb or fingers-- they NEVER get lost!!!
3 moms found this helpful
S.B. answers from Kansas City on December 03, 2011
Hi! I am no expert, but will share a few thoughts. First I researched the Mylicon quite a bit, and the consensus I came to was that it doesn't hurt anything to use, but doctors do not believe it does much of anything either. Many sources led to that, but talk to your own pediatrician.
About the pacifier issue, I personally had LOTS of troubles getting my baby to sleep, having him wake all night, and was going bananas until I went to the Sleep Sense Program (online). From there I learned that babies have to learn to self-soothe, and until they do, you will be undone. Right now it sounds like your little gal is depending on you to get the binky for her, so she can suck herself back to sleep. She literally believes she needs you and the binky to sleep again. My guess is that advice from the group that helped me (no, saved my sanity!), would be along the lines of you may want to leave several binkys in her crib so she can perhaps find them herself, and just stop retrieving them for her. It will be hard for a few days!! But it is really the only way to communicate to her that you retrieving the binky at all hours is not workable, and that she can learn to sleep without it. You will feel bad when she cries, but at least for my family, it just took a few days. If you want someone to talk you through all the details and the "what do I do when she...?" questions you could try the Sleep Sense program, I think was around $40. They give you stuff to read, videos, and you can ask questions directly as well. I tell you, it made such a difference for us because waking up at all hours made me cranky all day, my baby tired, and generally was a recipe for disaster. (At one point he was waking me an average of 8 times per night!) Also my son learned to go to sleep easily, quickly, and sleep well all night to this day (now 28 mo). Well, good luck, and know you can do it if you know how! I clearly remember the desperation of no sleep, its hard!
JB
I guess I would like to add that we certainly do not "ignore" the baby all night. When he was learning to self-soothe, he cried some the first few days. Of course! He still felt that he needed help to go to sleep, as a little person new to this world, he just didn't know how to go to sleep himself. During that time I was generally hovering over the baby monitor or outside his door peeking in until he got through it. He gradually learned to hug his stuffed dog, twirl his hair with a finger, and relax himself to sleep (this was at 8 months old when I did the program). Once we got through it I firmly believe that the improved sleep for both of us made for much more productive and happy days. As for nights, even now I jump up if he cries at night, but it is generally only for issues like being wet, storm scared him, or having a fever, etc, that just happen once in a while.
3 moms found this helpful
L.G. answers from Eugene on December 03, 2011
You know that Madonna look in all the Old Master's paintings like Bottecelli and Da Vinci, it's the lack of sleep. Now she is at the teething stage so sleep is interrupted by pain.
I just rolled with it and learned to go back to sleep. I can still do it anytime. I get up at night and stay up a few minutes and get back in bed and fall asleep.
My kids are grown it is a skill they taught me.
This is part of raising healthy well bonded children. All the methods that I hear about for self soothing means the child is alone untended for 1/3 of every day. How is that for the psychological development of a child.
Having children is a very time intensive job. It's a whole job. In all natural societies there is room for a child. If you can't manage on the sleep you are getting then sleep when your baby naps. The house and chores can wait.
3 moms found this helpful
L.*. answers from Chicago on December 03, 2011
I have a friend who put a shelf up behind her son's crib for additional pacis so in the middle of the night he could grab another one. It worked for her=) Good luck !
2 moms found this helpful
K.. answers from Phoenix on December 03, 2011
You mention an occupational therapist, so I'm wondering why you have one for such a young baby? Does she have a condition that requires it?
My answer would be to get rid of the pacifier, as it seems to doing more harm than good. She needs to learn how to soothe herself at some point. Easier to get rid of it now, than later.
As far as not sleeping, that's par for the course for a parent. Babies/kids go through many stage, phases, and are constantly changing & evolving. She's only 5 months old, you could quite possible have a long time to go until you are well rested.
Good luck!
2 moms found this helpful
C.W. answers from Washington DC on December 03, 2011
I don't know what to tell you. I was up several times shoving the binky back in my 8 week old's mouth, so I feel your pain. You could start introducing her hand, that is something she can always get into her mouth, if you want to go that route. I remember throwing 20 binkies in the crib when my older two were babies, hoping that at least one of them wouldn't fall out of the crib by morning, but they were able to get it back in themselves at that age. I think her waking may be related to the stages of the sleep cycle, and that she isn't able to self soothe yet. You could always ignore her for a while and see if she falls asleep on her own. I think that is what my SIL did. I noticed that my daughter will wake up and fuss and when I finally give up and make the bottle a lot of times I will come back and find in that time she had fallen back asleep. BTW: at that age, you could also wean her off of that late night feed. She probably doesn't need it and is waking for comfort. Around that age, I started decreasing the amount I would give her until I gave him just water, and then after 2 nights it wasn't worth waking up for. Or just give her the binky at 11 and skip the feeding altogether. this would solve the gas problem in the night.
2 moms found this helpful
D.M. answers from Detroit on December 04, 2011
Hi E.---First, I think you should still be burping baby even though she is asleep. It'll still happen if it needs to. Secondly, if you think it is gas then you might want to watch what you are eating, if you are nursing. That would help there.
Otherwise, as others have said, you'll have to decide whether or not to let her learn to self-soothe or find the pacifer herself...or keep getting up to give it to her. I'd say if she's losing it and can't/won't find it, it's maybe time to get rid of it.
Is this your first baby? Take a deep breath. The whole situation is worse if you let it bother you so much, rather than just understanding it's part of the process with a baby. It'll be over soon. Good luck...and take a nap when the baby naps. D.
2 moms found this helpful
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