L.J. asks from Tampa, FL on November 06, 2008
Hi ladies! Ok, I have a totally random question that I realize no one can answer definitively, but I want to throw it out there to get your opinion. I am currently 36 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. With our daughter, we did not find out the gender and loved not knowing. So, we decided to keep baby number 2's gender a surprise too. And up until this point, it is. Here's the thing. The other day, during my normal checkup, the doctor determined I was measuring small so she ordered an ultrasound. At the ultrasound, I told the ultrasound tech in no uncertain terms that I did NOT want to know the baby's gender. The tech even looked through my file and assured me that gender was not revealed anyplace in my file. I went on to tell her how important it was to us to keep the gender a surprise. She said she completely understood and said that in all her years in doing ultrasonography, there had only been one slip up and, as she put it, "that will never happen again." Anyway, she performed the ultrasound, and even had us look away when she was measuring the legs (although I don't think I'd have any idea what I was looking at anyway). She then moved on to measure the amniotic fluid. At the end of the ultrasound, she said, in exact words, "Everything looks perfect with him...... or her." I then asked her if she revealed the baby's gender when she referred to the baby as a "him" (and then later a "her") and she assured us that she had not, that she generally refers to all babies, regardless of gender, as "him." She said that she didn't even look and had no idea herself if the baby was a boy or girl. Here's my question (and I know that I am being neurotic about this... I also know that no one knows for sure): do you think the ultrasound tech inadvertently revealed the baby's gender and then tried to cover it up after the fact or do you think that she used the term "him" generically? I am so relieved that everything is perfect with the baby. That is obviously the most important thing. I just hate to think I've waited this long and that I found out the baby's gender through this kind of mistake. Thanks mamasource moms! You're great!!!
So What Happened?™
Thanks to everyone who had SUPPORTIVE things to say. I definitely have the tendency to be slightly obsessive (let's face it, that's why I'm a lawyer by trade). My ONLY concern is that I have a healthy baby. I think that's every parent's worry. But given I have waited this long, I just didn't want to find out this way. Again, thanks for taking the time to respond to my long and rambling question.
T.H. answers from Tampa on November 18, 2008
sorry but I think it was a slip. You are probaly having a boy. but don't go out buying blue because it might be a girl. You will know in 2 wks so right now just feel blessed the baby is healthy.
M.R. answers from Tampa on November 07, 2008
I think she did NOT reveal the gender. Americans do use "him" as a generic "him or her." It is annoying and she should have just said "the baby" or "the baby's" but I think it was just an honest misuse of the English language rather than a revelation of the baby's gender.
D.G. answers from Tampa on November 06, 2008
probably a generality, no worries. i know lots of people just don't like to say "IT" when talking about a baby. Great luck with your new one!!!
K.C. answers from Tampa on November 07, 2008
We had the same thing happen and the tech said "her" while my mom and I were sitting there. Later in the appt I asked her if she slipped and she said no. She doesn't like saying "it" or some other unpersonal expression, so she always says a gender. Well...I believed her because we had a boy. : ) Enjoy it all!! Kudos to you for not finding out! We did the same thing and LOVED it!!!
S.H. answers from Tampa on November 07, 2008
Now, now. Allow her the benefit of having a sense of humor maybe? She did add on the "her" following a pause. She sounded like she was being playful. Thank God you had a person with a personality and not a robot like most medical staff seem to prefer! :)
Several of my friends are techies and they always refer to the babies as "hims" or "hers" because they think "its" is far too impersonal.
Besides, U/S are not infallible. People have been misinformed before! :)
J.O. answers from Tampa on November 07, 2008
I think you need to focus on more important things....It probably is a boy so stop obsessing....Do yourself a favor...
R.W. answers from Tampa on November 07, 2008
When I was pregnant with my first child the doctor kept calling her a boy even though I told him I knew in my heart she was a girl. He was surprised when she was born. When my second child was born the cord was wrapped around her neck and we almost lost her. The entire time during the delivery the doctor kept saying were losing him. So it is very possible that the tech refers to all babies as him unless gender is requested. It is not uncommon for professionals to refer to unborn babies as him. Guess it is just a lot better than saying it. Or him or her. You in your heart should know by now if it is going to be a boy or girl. Be happy and let it go.
S.F. answers from Lakeland on November 07, 2008
That is a very hard question to answer, as being in the medical field for 11 years, we due tend to use him more often then a her when we are talking about a baby... Dont let this get you down by no means... You have a healthy baby on the way and just adding stress and worring about this is not good for you, the baby, and the family.....
S.B. answers from Tampa on November 08, 2008
Just my 2 cents and opinion worth but here goes. I can't believe that she never looked to see what the gender was. You are 36 weeks and one of the measurements that she did was the femur. The top of the femur is right at the groin. You even mentioned that she said to turn your head when she was measuring the legs. That would be the femur. There is no way that she didn't see the gender. How close did she say him then her? I don't think you will know until birth. I do know that some websites do interchange him and her when talking. I know babycenter.com does it. I guess you will know in a couple weeks. Who knows though. Maybe she is that type of person that wanted to spoil it.
J.P. answers from Tampa on November 06, 2008
I'm with ya- I would think she slipped up too. I'd probably be leaning toward telling people to buy blue not pink! I think some of the other responses are right though. HIM is used as a generic term instead of IT. Ya never know, you could still ave a surprise at the end. Keep the faith !