Baby Shower What to Do's. New to All of This,not Used to Being Center of Attn.

Updated on February 21, 2010
B.B. asks from Saint Charles, MO
14 answers

My co workers are throwing a baby shower foe me. I have not been to one since I was a child. What is expected of me? Do I pass each gift around? read the cards out loud? get gifts for the hostess and bring them that day, or after?Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!

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answers from New York on

For my work shower, I opened the card, read out who it was from (not the whole message) and then passed the card to the hostess (sitting next to me). I opened the gift, held it up and then handed it over to another friend who either passed it around or put it on the gift table unwrapped so people could see it later with the cake. My girlfriend who was the hostess wrote the gift on the back of the card so I could do thank-yous!

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answers from Kansas City on

You already have such good advice, I'll just add my two cents...

Yes, get a hostess gift. A small plant, a picture frame, a package of stationery (blank cards, Target has cute ones, sometimes in their dollar section, you can get cards and matching sticky notes) or a candle. Keep it at $5 -7 per hostess, and put it in a gift bag (again, look in the Target dollar area). Give it to them discretely before the shower begins.

Completely agree with the big no-no of asking people to address their own envelopes. If you need help with an address, ask the hostess to get it for you. Also, buck up for a stamp. I think it is incredibly tacky to hand out thank-you notes at work. They took the time and money for your gift, the least you can do is mail the note!!

Most of all, relax and enjoy. I'm uncomfortable with alot of attention, but showers are a celebration! Don't hesistate to rely on your hostess for anything you need or any questions you have.

Best wishes for a safe and speedy delivery! Congrats on your new little one!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on


Show up, be gracious and get your thank you notes out quickly. The folks who are hosting your shower, should take notes (what gift who it was from),help pass the gifts or place them on display. You are the guest of need to stress. After the shower, you could have a small lunch/dinner for the hostesses and/or send a little gift along with a heartfelt thank you note.

Congratulations on your coming blessed event.




answers from Washington DC on

Usually when you are the recipient of the baby shower, you don't have to get the hostess a gift.

For the ones at my work, I sat in one spot and the gifts were handed to me. Then they were set on a table for a bit. People could then go up and look them over if they wanted to.



answers from Kansas City on

it probably depends on your region, society, the culture where you live. i live in the kc area, my family is mostly rural, simple people, and in all my life i have never seen a mom-to-be give the shower thrower a gift. it might be "expected" where you live, so maybe ask someone who isn't a hostess but will be attending. that's what i'd do! other than that, and of course sending thank you notes, the pressure is off you. just let whoever is planning it take charge. either they'll pass things around, or just have you set them to the side. it doesn't really matter- we can all see what you got either way. (besides, i always thought i'd feel wierd, passing around a pack of white onsies and diapers - but if you pass everything else around would that gift giver feel cheated if you didnt?) just let them take care of those details! during opening, we just always state "okay this is from...." no need to read the long sappy poems inside the card. keep it simple. i am like you i hate being the center of attention - but these girls care about you and this is why they're doing this. just be gracious and thankful. and enjoy it! congrats!



answers from Dallas on

The hostess will write down the gift and the name of the person who gave it, so you can write thank yous later. At some showers I've attended the gifts are passed around and at some the gift was just held up. The guests will let you know what they want when you start opening gifts. In the part of the country where I live, hostess gifts are given. Just something small. I gave each of my friends who helped throw the shower notecards with their initials printed on them. I gave them to each of my friends before I left. Most of all relax and enjoy your moment and don't worry if you don't know everything. As you know, moms love to help!



answers from Chicago on

You will probably open the gifts there and they will be shown to everyone. But really don't worry about this too much, it is your day to relax and enjoy the attention and shower. I'm sure the host will see that everything runs smoothly. I think just remembering to say thank-you throughout the shower for your gifts and taking an interest in the things that people have brought is enough for that day. After the shower I would make sure to send written thank-you's to anyone who bought you a gift or attended and the hostess. I would also send a small hostess gift such as a nice plant or bottle of wine with the thank you for throwing the shower. Enjoy your party and congrats on the upcoming baby!



answers from Erie on

I don't know how close you are to the people you work with, I was just at a small luncheon (small meaning not fancy just salad, cake and a group gift) at my job. There were about 30 of us and 10 of us including myself were relatively new and didn't know the guest of honor all that well.
I would have loved it if she would have shared a little about herself with us, like whether or not they knew it was a boy or girl, what they decorated the nursery as, what she was most excited or nervous about once the baby was born, how many people in her family had little kdis etcs. just chatty stuff.
you might want to consider that if you aren't super close with every one,
I don't even know her due date.



answers from Kansas City on

You've gotten great advice already, but I'm afraid I have to say that I think it is inappropriate for guests to address envelopes to themselves. They should not have to "work" for their thank you notes, and this implies that it is a chore for you, not something you want to do to thank them for their kindness.

Also, a small hostess gift is a nice touch at a shower, although it does depend a little on the type of shower. If this is a "lunch hour shower" where you open up some gifts in the break room, perhaps not. If this is held elsewhere, and food and beverages have been provided, why NOT thank that person for all of the trouble they have gone to on your behalf? Have fun and enjoy your new little one. People enjoy showering you with gifts for your new little one, so just accept it graciously!



answers from Honolulu on

Well what I did, was just say in a funny way (which my co-workers knew I was), that "Okay I'm new at this, what am I supposed to do Mommies? Help me, I am clueless!"
And, the many women/Mommies there did just pitch right in and help me and they had fun too... because it was a fun nice event. Not all serious or formal. Other women like "helping" the new pregnant Mommy at their baby shower.

And have another co-worker be in charge of taking lots of photos too!
It will make for a great scrapbook for you and your baby.... to look back on.

All the best and congratulations,



answers from New York on

For my work shower, I opened the card, read out who it was from (not the whole message) and then passed the card to the hostess (sitting next to me). I opened the gift, held it up and then handed it over to another friend who either passed it around or put it on the gift table unwrapped so people could see it later with the cake. My girlfriend who was the hostess wrote the gift on the back of the card so I could do thank-yous!


answers from Wichita on

I've had and been to several "work" baby showers. I don't think you're expected to do anything for the hostess that day but it is customary to send a nice card to her. I've never seen anyone bring the hostess a gift as most of the time, these things are a surprise to the mommy to be. You'll want to ask someone to write down on paper all the gifts(include specifics of baby outfits, etc. as later on you will never remember who gave what) so that you can write them a personal thank you note and mention the specific gift they gave to you. Send out or hand out thank you cards no later than 30 days after the shower. You don't have to pass around the gifts but it's nice to hold them up and show everyone what you got and exclaim your feelings about how cute they are or thank you's and so on. Bring a camera so you'll have a record of how the decor looks and you can add them to your baby book along with all the baby shower cards. Relax and have fun! This is all about you.



answers from Detroit on

How fun!! Just remember that people are there to celebrate with you, not judge you :)

I had a little notebook/journal that I had someone write everything down in so I could mention the gift specifically when I wrote thank you notes. It is up to you if you want to collect addresses (you can pass out the envelopes for the thank you notes and have everyone address theirs for you) or pass them out at work.

You don't need to read the entire card aloud, but do read the name/names on it. If you get an outfit with a cute saying or something read that outloud since everyone may not be able to see it. It is a good idea to set the gifts out for everyone to browse through afterward.

I did get a hostess gift for the girls that threw my shower, but I gave it to them afterward, not in front of everyone. I did a little basket of lotions. I know that they did not expect it of me, but I wanted to show my appreciation to them. Nothing huge, just something to say "thanks "

Depending on how close you are you may want to later take pictures of the baby wearing/using the gifts given to give to the "giver"later on.

It helped me to remember that this was about the baby, not just me, so I didn't feel so self conscious about all the attention. :) But also remember that you DO deserve a little pampering. You are carrying a miracle in you :)


answers from San Antonio on

I think your other two suggestions were great. One thing I love to see when someone's opening my gift is for them to hold up a onesie up to their belly and saying something like "Should fit pretty good." or something similar. I went to a shower where the mom-to-be put the breast pump up to her boob and we all laughed. But yes, just be sure to smile and say thank you, even if the outfit you didn't register for is the ugliest thing you've ever seen. Whoever bought it thought it was the cutest thing they'd ever seen. I have never seen anyone read the card aloud unless it was just hilarious. And I've never seen a hostess get a gift nor have I ever given one. A big thank-you is enough. Perhaps let her take home the leftover cake if she's got family at home. And if the hostess says that you don't have to open the gifts in front of everyone, I would bet that everyone wants to see you ope their gift. They want to see your expression. They want to know that you love their gift. Congrats! Enjoy your shower. Let others serve you for once in a while.



answers from Chicago on

I don't think you're expected to bring hostess gifts. I have never seen this done at a shower. You do hold the gifts up in front of everyone & announce who it is from while you're opening it. I also believe you are expected to write thank you notes. Other than that, the hostess does it all. Congrats!

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