Baby Shower for Second Baby?

It has changed from being frowned on to something that most people now do and accept. Older members of the family may not understand, but maybe you could invite a lot of people who you know now that weren't in your life 5 years ago when your son was born. Most second showers I've seen have been thrown by coworkers who weren't there during the first child and now want to be there for the second child and offer their support and well wishes. Is there an opportunity for your sister and coworkers to join together on this? Also, enjoy your blessing and forget about what others think. A shower is not begging for presents and no where on the invite does it say that it is a requirement to bring a gift (especially since you won't be registering). Simply invite people to be a part of your celebration and share in your joy because your second child deserves as much love and attention as the first child. If someone asks about a gift simply tell them you have quite a bit from your first and a gift card or diapers will suffice or come up with some small things you may not have and need (pacis, diaper rash cream, thermometer, tylenol, lotions, soap, etc.
). This way you will have something you can use, and people who want to shower you with gifts can get something. Hope this helps!

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How about instead of a baby shower you have a welcoming party for the new one.

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In my church, we tend to have baby showers for every baby, because it is the celebration and welcoming of a new life. Of course, the showers for baby #1 are usually more well-attended and well-gifted, with subsequent showers being mostly diapers and such. But, still, there is no tackiness about it. Some circles may frown on it, but it depends on your friends, because in my circle, it's not frowned upon.

If you feel awkward about accepting gifts, you can always suggest that women give money or buy baby things for the local crisis pregnancy center, or a women's shelter, or some other organization that helps women and/or children/babies.

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Hi B.,
I dont think it is wrong to have a baby shower for the second or even fifth child. Babies are special in there own way. I recently went to a baby shower for the third child. The mother has a son and daughter and the third baby is a girl. The hostess of the baby shower stated on the invitation what was needed the most and also stated that you didnt have to bring a gift, just come celebrate with the family and have fun.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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Hi B.,

If you don't mind me saying so, I think your sister is a dear to want to throw you a shower. So many people these days only think of themselves and not of others - how nice that she is being so thoughtful of you and that new baby.

I'd say let her give you a shower. If you have a girl, you will love having girl things, so how about asking for the shower to be given after the baby is born so everyone knows the sex?

I realize that some people think registering for what you want is tacky, but busy women are almost always grateful for being able to look at what you actually want. I admit that when I buy from a registry, I usually feel that the recipient will probably appreciate my gift more than if I picked something she didn't like or had a ton of already. And women who don't have kids usually have a hard time figuring out what to give because of lack of experience. Perhaps you could think in those terms instead of the idea that it's tacky.

Enjoy the shower - getting together with good friends and family during such a blessed time is so nice!
D.

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Your sister is right! Go for it, embrace it and register for your needs. Perhaps have a "diaper party" where everyone brings a package of diapers, all sizes. My friend did that, and didnt have to buy diapers for the first 6 months!!! THAT is a big help, and a fun way for your friends to show their congrats to you! Good luck and God Bless you and your new blessing!

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My friends threw me a surprise shower for my second child. My kids were 2 1/2 years apart, so I still had most of the big stuff for my son, but since my first was a girl and well, we tend to hand down our kids cloths, I definitely needed boy cloths, blankets and bibs. Not to mention, every new mom appreciates diapers and wipes! I was so grateful for the baby shower and that my friends were so thoughtful. And the clothing and other small ticket supplies I got greatly helped us.

As far as registering, I say go for it. I registered for stuff, just because it helped me keep track of things I still needed to get before my son arrived. Each time before I made my monthly Target trip for household goods, I would look at my registry and see what items were on sale for the week. When I purchased an item, I updated the registry so I knew what I already bought and what I still needed (I had a severe case of pregnancy brain and forgot everything!). In the long run, it helped me save money on needed items and spread out the cost over the entire pregnancy instead of waiting till the last minute to buy all the necessities. It just turned out that my OCD was doubly helpful with the surprise shower.

Congratulations! And enjoy letting your sister throw you a shower. Not everyone is as lucky.

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I have thrown showers for friends for their 3rd and 4th kids .Tacky????says who????Showers are for celebrating new life coming.My friends registered and it was helpful, since it's hard to tell what is needed. WHy do you worry about what what others think?????Let your sister have it for you and have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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My family had showers for me for all three of my kids. The first one was before I had my baby, but the other two were after so that they knew the sex of the baby and bought appropriate clothes for the sex. The second two were for clothes & diapers, that kind of stuff. I didn't get big items.

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It's absolutely not rude to have a second baby shower. Use this time to share your pregnancy with your friends and family that are excited for you. It doesn't have to be about gifts at all, just a reason for everyone to get together and have a good time. You should play lots of games, if you look on pregnancykick.com they have some great ideas. Since you don't need much there is no rason to register, and since you find it tacky to register anyway, then don't. that's your personal choice. however, to prevent people from bringing things you don't need, i've seen invitations with a note at the bottom that says "no gifts please", or "please bring your favorite used children's book to add to our new baby's collection". but as always, if anyone does bring something new that you do not need, you can always return it to the store and get a gift card to use for diapers.

hope this helped!

I like the idea of people bringing casseroles and dishes that can be frozen for the time postpartum, so that you will have access to a supply of nutritious easy meals, even on those days where everything seems to conspire against you.

How about suggesting to your sister that instead of a baby shower she organize a mother blessing event. That would be an event where things focus on you and your upcoming birth, emotional support you can draw on when the going gets tough, during labor and postpartum.
The focus of such an event is not as commercial (even though some guests may still ask if they can bring a gift and then you can respond accordingly) so it may work better for you.

If you and your sister are not familiar with the a mother blessing, there is lots of information on the internet, and there are books with many ideas on how to plan one.
Here are a couple of suggestions:

Mother Rising - The Blessingway Journey into Motherhood by Cortlund, Lucke and Watelet

Blessingways - A Guide to Mother-Centered Baby Showers by Shari Maser

Such a mother blessing would pamper YOU a little bit, which you deserve. The pampering, emotional and spiritual support of yourself will then in turn help you be a better mother to both your children, as you will receive suggestions and positive stories and experiences you will be bale to draw on.

First take care of yourself, so that you can take care of your family. Let your family and friends celebrate you and your pregnancy, and let that be the focus, and not the gifts, which you're uncomfortable with anyway, it sounds like.

Best wishes and and enjoy the social get-together whatever focus it will have! :-)

I know exactly how you feel. I have an 8 year old and a 3 month old. We had people that insisted on throwing us a baby shower and we saved everything as well from our oldest. We did find out what we were having and just because everyone was insisting, we did register but only for the things that we did not have and would need. One great idea that I loved was a "diaper drop" baby shower. I loved this because they only needed to bring diapers and/or wipes if they wanted to or a gift card if that is what they wanted, but like you said, we did not expect any gifts either. I felt very weird about having a baby shower for the second but it really turned out great because the people that came really wanted to help welcome our new addition. Hope this helps and CONGRATULATIONS!!! T. C.

It's not rude, especially if your sister is wanting to throw you a shower. You could ask her to put in the invitation that gift cards or diapers are needed. Or have it themed a diaper shower. You can never go wrong with that. Good luck.

A. B

I say go for it, you may not need much as far as big items, but you can never go wrong with diapers and gift cards, I also say go ahead and register for any of the things that you do need, such as onsies, bottles, diapers, wipes, bath items, etc... even the stroller set... I don't think it's tacky at all :)

Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS also :)

my second came 4 years after my first. Instead of a baby shower with gifts my friends had everyone make a frozen meal, that I could easily heat up after the baby came. Everyone seemed to think this was a great idea and it helped a lot. This helped to celebrate the new baby, but not overwhelm everyone with trying to figure out what I needed vs what I still had......
good luck.

My sister and I were just talking about this yesterday. Her plan is to do a "meet & greet" after the baby is born for her second. She doesn't want to know the sex either, and that way it will help people know what to buy. It's a lot of fun for guests to actually see the new baby. And it will be for guys and kids too, not just girlfriends. There are lots of times your second will be getting the hand-me-downs, or there will be times when things are less of a big deal the second time around. Don't miss out on a shower if you have someone who wants to give you one.

I say register! People appreciate knowing what you need and not having to guess. If you only register for a few things and they can see that what you really need is a carseat, you are likely to get giftcards and can use those towards the purchase. And be sure to put tons of diapers on the registry, and then people will know that you don't need much, and that it's more of a party to welcome the new baby. I don't think it's tacky at all! Congratulations :)

I had a baby shower for my second baby but, they were 8 years apart and I didn't plan to have another child. We had absolutely nothing for the second baby. With that said, I didn't register because I felt so guilty about having a second baby shower that I didn't want anyone to think I was deserving. Most people will ask what you need. I always told them that I needed the practical baby things you know diapers, gowns, onsies, sleepers, wipes, etc. I didn't ask for anything big like the stroller combo. I got several gift cards and used them to purchase my big items. If you get too much of something or something you know you won't use then exchange them for something you need. Wal-Mart will take anything back without a receipt most of the time. If they can't find the item when they scan they will give it back to you - either use it or store it for a future baby shower you are invited to. But I venture to say that since this is your second baby most people will ask what you need. It's not rude to tell them what you need when they ask. They want to know so they know what to buy. Good luck!

B.-

I don't have any advise, I just wanted to say I feel your pain!! I am also a working mom with a son who will be 6 in a few days and we are expecting a girl in early December. We kept some things (crib, monitor, onesies, burp cloths), but there are still some big items I need and I WOULD like to have my little girl in something other than the obviously unisex items I still have. Some people have asked me when my shower is, but I just keep telling them that if there is one, I will invite them.

Thanks, responders, for making us moms with a few years between the kids feel a little less guilty!!! There will be plenty of time for guilt later, right???? :-)

I'm SO with you on the REGISTERING IS TACKY thing. I've had showers thrown for me for all three pregnancies, even though we knew they were all boys. You could tell your sister how you feel about asking for things, and throw out the idea of having a "SHOWER Her With Diapers" themed party or something. She could indicate on the invitation that you've got the basics covered besides diapers (that way it's HER directing people about what you need). Tell her what you do need so if people want to give you something besides diapers she can help them out, or she could hint at gift cards too. The good thing about a diaper party is you can exchange any of the packs of diapers for whatever else you need (Walmart doesn't require receipts), without worrying that people will have hurt feelings if your kid doesn't show up in their gift clothes. Also, you can try the different diaper brands without the guilt of wasting money. Best of luck!!

Google "baby sprinkle" perfect for a second baby!

I think a 'shower' (or birthday or anniversary party) is always in good taste if your friends/family want to give you one! We have 4 kids and friends/family had us a shower for the 1st one. We had another child 2 yrs & 7.5 mo later, but no shower. Almost 6 years later I was expecting again, and friends/neighbors were going to have the shower on Sept. 30th. Well he made his arrival on the 29th, so I was in the hospital. They had it a week later & I went w/'babe in arms', and it was a 'hit'. So, how about waiting til after the baby is born? Everyone can know the gender, your sister can send out invites w/a list of 'needs/wants', and you can pass him or her around at the party!

no its not tacky! you had that baby 5 years ago you need new stuff. register, people will buy gifts any way you might as well let them know what you actually need so you dont get things you dont need

I had friends who wanted to throw me a second shower too and I also think it is tacky. I also needed items b/c we had a son first and were having a daughter second. Instead I told them that they could 'help me' throw a "Sip n See". I wanted to do it with champagne and brunch food and cupcakes instead of a cake and I wanted everyone to come to meet our daughter instead of just coming for me...a second time. I also did not like how ppl just showed up or wanted to visit the baby any time b/c it is a hectic time when you bring a new baby home. I thought by having this Sip n See that they would meet her on the day I chose when I was prepared and ready. I could dress her in a sweet outfit and have all guests over at one time. I sent out the invites as soon as she was born scheduling it for 2 weeks later. People did bring gifts but mainly clothing. You could have the host send out the invites stating in some sort of poem that the mom and dad need new things for the new baby and please come and support the family while meeting the new little one. If they want to know what to get you, they can ask you or the host, just like ppl do for bdays....or family can go in on the big ticket items.

W.

I have a second due in a few weeks and felt the same as you. I have a daughter who is almost 3 and am expecting a boy this time. I did need a few things because a lot of what I have is pink but refused to register for a second shower. I decided to have a diaper shower. I did receive items other than diapers and wipes. It was mostly a nice celebration for the new baby and the gifts were not extravagant.

It depends upon the culture of your friends. My group all does a smaller shower for the second one and it is more about getting everyone together.

It is just a fun day in the middle of all of the business of having kids/families.

I think every baby is special and deserves its own shower. Don't stress it. More than likely people will ask what you need (especially If you don’t register.) Just explain to them that you still have all the big things but we are in need of the little things.