Baby Shower for #2? - Portland,OR

Personally, I think it would be really tacky to have a shower for a second child of the same sex. It comes across as "Buy me new stuff, even though the stuff I have is perfectly fine." I'd ask MIL to instead do a Welcome Party after your daughter is born.

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Why are you having a second shower? Especially so close together?? I would have to decline an invitation to a second shower if I was invited to one. Kinda tacky.

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I know this was not your question but lots of people think its tacky to have a shower for not only a second child, but one of the same gender, and when they are really only 2 years apart. But if you do, at least be modest about it and not register.

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I think you should thank her but tell her it's not necessary. The only time a second shower is acceptable is when the children are born years apart or the parents are expecting multiples.

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Check the expiration date on the carseat...you may want to register for a new one. A tandem stroller, diapers, wipes, bath wash (all the typcial consumable baby supplies), a few new clothes (especially for bringing baby home in). If your older child is in a toddler bed, she is most likely using the crib mattress so you may need a new one. Is your older daughter still in the highchair, you may need a new one (or you may want a booster seat for your older one and use the one you have for the baby).

I don't think it would be tacking to pick out some things that you need so people actually know.

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My friends in my moms group threw me a second baby shower - same sex baby as my first and 3 1/2yr apart. I kept most stuff, but call me tacky cause I did register for stuff - really diapers, wipes, soaps, other stuff I gave away like the baby towels, breast pump supplies, double stroller. The double stroller I ended up actually getting off Craigslist - I didn't really want to buy one new since I wasn't sure how much we'd actually use it or for how long. I agree about trying them out though before you buy or register for a certain one.
And I don't think a second shower is tacky - I believe every baby should be celebrated and you probably won't feel much like doing a celebration after the baby is born (atleast not for awhile).
Congrats on the new baby!

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Your MIL sounds very nice. I think its great that she wants to give you a shower, but it would be more appropriate to have a diaper shower, or friends luncheon. If you "kept almost everything from the first time around", there is no need for a registry, and as others have already mentioned, it's tacky to register for the same sex child. There are many ways to celebrate the new baby, but not with a full fledged shower.

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The things that get used up so I second diapers and wipe. I also second the double stroller.

You may want to try pushing a few around now...a side by side one can be a hassle, as it's very wide, and since you (like me) have one child old enough to "overlove" the other (an outing with our jogging stroller = "don't poke your brother in the eye":)

Some "big sister" gifts are also a good idea. Have fun!

p.s. The addition of son #2 to our family was somewhat unique and our church threw him a shower/welcome forever home/D'Ol (Korean first birthday party) - my husband did register for this and mainly asked for diapers....and folks also brought some books and toys for the new big brother. It was ALL a HUGE help:)

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You could also have her throw a shower at a place where you can have the guest create meals for you and the family. That is what we did. And I tell you that was much more helpful that buying me gifts. I had meals frozen for three months...all I had to do was put the pan in the oven and voila we had dinner. I think we had like 20 meals total...but it was so nice to have to cook those 20 meals.

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You will be relieved to have a double stroller and lots of diapers/wipes.

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Hi J.,

First, congratulations on your new addition!

I have two girls, so there was very little I needed. I had a small luncheon with my best friends instead of a shower, so the things I've added were my own purchases and Christmas gifts for the younger one (who was born at Thanksgiving).

Instead of a double stroller (elder daughter turned 3 a few weeks after younger one was born), I bought myself an Ergo carrier, so I could be hands-free with baby and let the big girl ride when necessary. It's been great. Look into the sit-and-stand strollers, too.

With elder daughter, I didn't have a mobile for the crib, and I asked for one for the younger daughter. It's been a lifesaver, because it keeps the little one entertained in a safe environment.

I also have a bumbo/bebe pod for the younger one that I didn't have with the first. She's not using it much yet, but it will be useful as a sitting supporter while I play with big sister. And I got one with a try so it can be an early high chair as well.

Also, check the seasons of your baby clothes. I'm finding that the girls are hitting seasons differently with clothes. For 0-3 mos, I just used sleepers, so that wasn't a problem. When 3-6 mos came around, I realized that I had all spring and summer clothes (short sleeves) from elder one, but the weather was too chilly for younger one to wear them. You may need some different clothing options that way.

--BUT--

As others have said, you may want to go another route. I'm assuming that the purpose of having a shower is to celebrate the birth of a new baby. I've been to second baby showers that are just diaper showers where everyone buys the family packs of diapers and wipes. And I just went to a "pampering" shower for a mom who was having her 4th. The shower had a spa theme, and everyone brought the moms gifts for HER--soaps, lotions, new undies, jammies, etc.--not for baby. It was a lot of fun and a chance to focus on a mom who really needed some pampering.

a double stroller is a must...my daughters are 13 months apart and I didn't have one until 2 months ago(baby 6 months).....diapers, a few outfits that are JUST FOR BABY, a new baby towel, baby shampoo, powder(if you use it), wipes......basically if you think that you might need something don't feel bad about asking.......the worst that will happen is that someone will decide you don't "need" that item and you will find after you bring baby home that you really do.

good luck and congrats,
A.

My friends threw one for me in February and because I have kept everything from my son I didn't register at all. What they did is have a wishing well for me. We use cloth diapers and on the invite they put that I wasn't registering anywhere and that I needed to add to my cloth diaper stash. This worked out well. Almost everyone gave me cash and I bought a bunch of cloth diapers for the little one I am eagerly awaiting :)

About the only thing you shoudl really register for that you will need and don't have is a double stroller. other than that just stuff like diapers and wipes and maybe a couple outfits. but if you have everything else then you don't really need it all again.

When I have been for a shower for a second child and the kids are only a few years apart, the people have not registered for anything. They get mostly clothes, towel sets, etc. In some cultures it is customary to have a party for each baby, so I get that. Most of the 2nd showers I have been to though were for situations where the first baby was 1 sex and the second is another. You could register but some people might see it as tacky. Best wishes!

J.,

Congratulations! I think it's wonderful that you're having a shower because every child deserves their own.

I agree with many of the posts below....diapers, wipes, bottles, binkies, swaddle, the "essentials"....although I think you'll find that even in 2 years, so much has changed and you'll have other things you can now register for that weren't there for your first daughter. Although you have kept the clothes, will they be the right size for the season?

:-)

my cousins MIL is very into showers and threw her one even though she had just had one thrown by her own mother (she did the same thing for her wedding and since i am one of her best friends as well as her cousin I was invited to all 4 shower which were all within 2 yrs) my cousin hates showers because she is not the type of person who likes attention on her. her MIL is planning on throwing her a shower everytime she gets pregnant (her baby is 3mnths old now so it will be a little while before her next but she wants 4 kids) she plans on explaining to her that it is tradition in our family to only do a shower for the first one, kind of a welcome to motherhood thing, maybe you could say that

I had a small second shower and called it a sprinkle.

Maybe this one should be focused more on mom than the baby. Some times people do that I know it might be hard to ask to have her do that cause it can come off selfish but I know people who have done that. The host has people buy gifts to make moms life easier or give mom some pampering. If you have a Direct Sales company you really like just hold one of those parties or something like that.

My first 2 boys were 14 months apart but I sitll had a 'sprinkle' for my second one. Each baby is special and it is fun to have a party. My second one was much smaller, and everyone brought diapers and some other small gift. If there is something you really need you could let people know, otherwise I would keep it a little more low key and just enjoy the time with close friends before the baby comes.