Baby Shower Blues...

You shouldn't have to help plan or pay for your OWN shower... that's ridiculous. You can give them a list of people you'd like to invite and their addresses, they are the ones who should send out the invites... and they are definitely the ones who should pay for the food/decorations/invites/etc. I'm sorry this is stressing you out... that's not how it's supposed to work. Maybe you can mention all this to your husband and see what he thinks? Tell him how much it stresses you out and maybe he can mention it to his mom.

Congratulations on your little girl! They are sooooo much fun! :)

S.,

First off-CONGRATS!! You are entering a whole new world!!

Secondly, while it was very nice for your MIL to offer to throw a party (two even) for you, you shouldn't be responsible to pay, plan or anything but have a wonderful time at those parties. They are a party for YOU. That's like telling the guest of honor to pay for her own party. Personally, I don't agree with that.

I would politely mention to your MIL that you are saving all the extra money you have for the baby (set up a trust fund or something) and tell her you just don't have the money to have a baby shower for yourself. You really shouldn't have any responsibilities but, bring your happy little pregnant self, open presents, eat food, and say awwwwwww!!

Good luck hun! Enjoy that pregnancy!!! Don't stress!!

M. :)

Her name should be Miracle, or Diamond

I second everything Amber said. The last thing you need right now is extra stress. Let your husband take care of you & your MIL. Good luck & congrats.

I would let your Mother-In-Law know that since she offered to hold the shower that if her idea of TWO showers isn't financially practical then one shower would be just fine and then ask when she wants your list of people to invite.

In regard to planning, ask your friend and your Mother-In-Law what dates they are picking, just tell them you need to coordinate things you have planned to do prior to the baby being born. This way they will either pick a date or let you know they can't do it.

I feel your pain! As far as I have ever understood a shower was a gift to the honoree (you). I can understand needing a guest list made up by the honoree but I can't imagine paying to throw yourself a shower! It would be best not to expect a shower! Lots of times showers aren't until the last 6 weeks of pregnancy or after the baby is born! Don't worry just relax and what is supposed to happen will. If you don't have a shower pick up a few items a week and shortly you will have a layette! Jenn

Would it be possible to get your good friend and MIL together to plan it together so you dont have to be stressed out, its suppose to be a good time for you not a stressful time. You shouldnt have to be stressing or planning your own shower, they are normally surprise showers anyway, so for the fact you know about it, you shouldnt have to do anything.

Thats my thought.

Congratulations on your baby...you will have so much fun. I think it is crazy that your MIL actually wants you to help financially with the party. Could you suggest that she ask your friend to combine the showers to help her with the costs of the baby shower. One thing you may want to consider is, are you being reasonable with your guest list? I'm sure you are, but I have had friends who have had to deal with a mom who was trying to invite way more ladies to her shower than they could really afford. Either way, DON'T help pay for your own shower. If she offered to throw you this shower, let HER do it! I hope you can enjoy your special day!! Take care!

First of all, it is not your responsibility to cover ANY costs for a shower. You can politely speak to your friend and mother-in-law and maybe facilitate them sharing the shower responsibility for one big shower. Lots of fun and try doing it somewhere outside of a home. Less stress for clean-up both before and after. Good luck and enjoy your new baby in April.

I'm a mom and a grandmother and have been involved in a few baby showers. In my opinion your only responsibility may be to provide a list of some guests (but your mother-in-law should be inviting HER friends & family to the one(s) that she is having). Your friend will hopefully be inviting YOUR friends. They should both know the colors you'll be using for the babies room and of course you should be registered at Babies R Us, etc. Try not to register for duplicate items at different stores if possible.

Hope this helps!

I do a lot of these showers, I usally ask the mom to be what day works for her the best so I would just tell them. Hey I'm getting close here lets get it in the works. You should not have to do anything except give them a list of names of people you want to invite and then go and have fun. I would tell them both that maybe they should host one together and they can spilt the cost between them. If they don't want to then that is there business and they have to do it all themselves. When I was pregnant with my 1st I was so excited. After having troubles getting pregnant for 8 years and hosting at least 25 baby showers in that time I figured that I would have a wonderful huge shower all planned out and cool. My one friend and 2 sister in laws threw it on the day I had been scheduled to go in to be induced. They invited 59 guest and 6 showed up. I was very hurt and disappointed. I think to much stock is put into these things. Just relax and take what they give you. SOmetimes people like to have them after the baby comes also that way they get to meet the baby.This is not a bad idea cuz then not everyone has to come to the hospital to see you.