J.N. asks from Salt Lake City, UT on July 17, 2011
Baby Shower - Salt Lake City,UT
It's been so long since I've been involved in a baby shower. I think I've only gone to 1 (just as a guest) in the last 8-10 years! I don't know what's considered standard anymore. So a few questions:
-Food: I was thinking of holding about 1 or 2 pm on a weekend and only having very LIGHT refreshments (cake, maybe nuts or crackers, a punch bowl) but all the sites I've looked at seem to suggest more is standard. What do you think?
-Games: How many should I plan? Do most women prefer silly, thoughtful, or something else entirely?
-Scheduled end or Open House? Guest list looks pretty big, although I doubt they will all come. Can it be done as an open house and still be fun/have games/etc?
-Decorations: I don't even know where to begin...
I'm feeling very overwhelmed. I'm almost positive that nobody else is planning on throwing me a shower. This is my last baby, and probably the last in the family, and it feels like everybody is just done with it. (In fact, some people seem to have the opinion that since it's not my first, there's no need for a shower. But my youngest right now is 8 years old...) I want to have fun and celebrate this last baby, but I'm on a very tight budget and I'm wondering if it would be better for me to just save my money and buy baby stuff with it instead (I have literally nothing left from before, we got rid of everything years ago!).
Finally, is it tacky to throw a shower for myself?
So What Happened?™
Ok, so I see that it's totally bad to do a baby shower for myself. At least I didn't actually commit such a blunder.
My husband would be more than happy to suggest/hint to someone about a baby shower, but there is nobody. That's why I was thinking of it myself in the first place.
Featured Answers
M.M. answers from Lake Charles on July 18, 2011
I'm making my mom throw mine, the first one I had was like chicken salad mini sandwiches, cake, punch and mints/nuts maybe some chips and dip? We didn't play games we just hung out (it was mostly family) A neat thing to do that I'm doing this time is having "mocktails" like fake martinis or margaritas, look online for some recipes. Do you have a sister in law or mom, aunt, cousin that would be willing to put her name on the invite as host?
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L.M. answers from Norfolk on July 17, 2011
Yes, it is considered very poor form to throw yourself a shower. You can, however, host something like a "Sip & See" after the baby is born. This is popular for babies that aren't the first when it is seen as inappropriate to have a shower. A Sip & See can be done as an open house with light refreshments and punch. Games are generally difficult to do if you don't have everyone there at the same time and at my shower(s) most of the time has been used eating and opening presents, I hardly had any time to socialize.
2 moms found this helpful
V.S. answers from Harrisburg on July 17, 2011
I know alot of people frown on throwing your own shower, for your first or last babies. So I would suggest throwing a meet the baby shower!
It can follow the same guidlines as a 'normal' shower but you would throw it a few weeks after your LO is born so everyone can meet him/her.
For your other questions: Light food is fine at that hour just let people know on the invite that light refreshments will be provided. Games are fine but not expected-I personally don't like them. Schedule a start and end time. Then people know if they will be late they won't be coming after everyone else has gone.
This would help you in sending out announcements-make it fun. Say come to the shower to find out how much the baby weighed, etc and turn that into a game?
1 mom found this helpful
J.G. answers from San Antonio on July 17, 2011
Don't throw a shower for yourself. You already said that you are on a tight budget. Buy your baby the things it needs (hello thrift stores and craigslist!). Then once baby arrives, have an open house or brunch where people are invited to come see the baby and say hello to you. If they want to bring a gift then, then that'd be great. On that brunch day, have a friend or someone make fruit kabobs or tortilla pinwheels or other such small snacks for guests.
1 mom found this helpful
M.C. answers from Dallas on July 17, 2011
Yes, it is tacky to throw yourself a shower.
You can hint around, or outright ask a friend to throw you one, but do not throw one for yourself.
1 mom found this helpful
D.R. answers from Salt Lake City on July 20, 2011
I know that you have found out that throwing yourself a shower is not appropriate, but I think even having your husband suggest to a friend or neighbor to have one is also not a good idea. A shower needs to be someone's else's idea from the start. If you are thinking of this just for the gifts, that is kind of sad, if you just want people to see your baby and celebrate then an open house after the baby is born is OK, but please do not expect a "large group of people" to bring gifts.
M.M. answers from Lake Charles on July 18, 2011
I'm making my mom throw mine, the first one I had was like chicken salad mini sandwiches, cake, punch and mints/nuts maybe some chips and dip? We didn't play games we just hung out (it was mostly family) A neat thing to do that I'm doing this time is having "mocktails" like fake martinis or margaritas, look online for some recipes. Do you have a sister in law or mom, aunt, cousin that would be willing to put her name on the invite as host?
J.C. answers from San Francisco on July 17, 2011
Yeah, no shower throwing for yourself and even gently asking someone to host one is not appropriate either...at least, in my opinion. I really feel this would put someone on the spot...such an uncomfortable position.
I personally didn't want a shower for my second child, and won't be having one for the third child I'm pregnant with. I don't like people feeling obligated that they have to buy me a gift. Many friends/family members will buy you something anyway once your baby arrives. They might even ask you what you need. For my family, there are other ways that we celebrate the arrival of a new baby, besides just a 2 hour (or so) shower.
I think it's a great idea to save your money and use it to buy some new baby necessities. I really never felt like I need much and was happy without needing many of the latest baby gadgets to clutter up my house.
H.F. answers from Pocatello on July 19, 2011
Although I see no reason why a second, third, fourth, or any subsequent baby should not merit a baby shower, it does seem tacky to throw it for yourself. Baby showers or wedding showers are thrown by friends or family of the person being honored (the mother, or in the case of weddeing showers, the bride). I have heard of an alternative idea that may be better suited for you, after the baby is born you can host a "Sip and See" where guests can come and sip (tea, punch, whatever) and see the baby! You can serve light refreshments, no games are nessesary, and it is best done as an open house. It is a good time for gifts to be given as well. Congratulations on your new baby and best of luck!
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