15 answers

Baby Only Wants to Be Held ALL the TIME!

HI, I have a two month old who is ONLY happy when he is being held!!! I can't put him anywhere for even a second or he starts screaming as if he is being killed!!! Then I pick him up and he is all sunshine and smiles! He also wont take a nap unless you are holding him! He falls asleep but as soon as you put him down he starts screaming... even from a dead sleep! He is hardly napping unless I just lie in bed or on the couch with him I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! I can't even go to the bathroom in peace! It's crazy and it's driving me there too! I feel so guilty just letting him cry but I can't even prepare a bottle for him unless I put him down! Anyone else have this problem? Know how long it lasts? My older son was so easy! I just put him in the swing and he would sit there happy for about 30 minutes to an hour before wanting to do something else.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Well now that he is 5 months old he is starting to be able to be on his own for a little while but it really dosen't last long... we call him the 10 minute baby because thats how long he can stand to do one thing, we seem to be circulateing him through all the baby toys all day now LOL but at least he is napping so I can actually get things done now. Thanks for all your help... I guess it just took time.

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It varies wildly with kids how long it lasts. I held my son, or had him in a body carrier all the time until he was mobile. He didn't like slings though, but he loved the baby bjorn being able to see what was going on. I really don't think you can spoil them at this age, at least not until they're a year old.

I think the more you can hold them and soothe them when they're this young the more confident they'll be later. You have to do what's right for him and you though.

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It varies wildly with kids how long it lasts. I held my son, or had him in a body carrier all the time until he was mobile. He didn't like slings though, but he loved the baby bjorn being able to see what was going on. I really don't think you can spoil them at this age, at least not until they're a year old.

I think the more you can hold them and soothe them when they're this young the more confident they'll be later. You have to do what's right for him and you though.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi S.. I'm not sure how old your older son is, but if he's in school and the baby wants you to nap with him, do it. When he goes to bed you'll still have enough energy to clean up. If not, do it later.
My son had to be held all the time. He is now 3 and still asks to be held. At 2 months they cry for a reason. As he gets older let him cry it out a little longer. By the time my son was crawling and standing (while holding on to something) I kept him close while I was busy(kitchen mostly)but had a gate between us. He cried but he was right next to me. 10 minutes cleaning then I'd hold him for 10, then back to dishes until it was done.
White noise, fan, vaccuum, whatever helped. Also, if you can stand it for even 15-20 minutes, a sling or front pack saved my life. I swear. That way they're moving around and close to you but your hands are free. It takes a while to get used to it but it helps.
Also, I think you wrote in about not having many friends since family life. We're 26 and 27 and for a year and a half we were the only ones with kids. All the men have been raised together and they weren't too interested in hanging out for a while. Now, most of them have kids. It changes everything. We still don't get invited by the people without kids usually, but mostly because we usually don't go. If you make it a point to go once in a while they remember you a little more.
My friendships have changed for sure. I spend more time with other moms and miss the "fun" life but they get it. Plan a once a month girls night, once a month couples night, once a month adult night. 3 nights out of the month is doable. Plan game nights at home or movie and drinking nights for after kids are in bed. Get a monitor and go in the garage. Throw a couch out there and it's like the good 'ol days.
I also go to parks, join any swim, sports, mommy and me classes I can and mingle. Most of them are going thru it too. I don't know where you are but if we're close we could get together. I really hope it all works out for you. Parenting is just not as easy as the pros make it seem!

1 mom found this helpful

It's actually painful for an infant to be away from human touch. Humans are not born fully neurologically developed, this only happens from human touch. I suggest getting a carrier. I found that the ultimate baby wrap was the best. It's a little hard to get on, but it distributes the baby's weight very evenly and you can easily wear it all day. If you have the time you should read the book, The Continuum Concept. It explains why children need to be held ALL THE TIME until 4-6 months and then most of the time from 6-12 months. I did this with my son (now 3) and he's amazing independent, has more common sense than any kid I know and comfortable with himself. Since you seem to be involved with alternative things (herbal remedies) you might take this info to heart. This time will be over soon, enjoy it.

1 mom found this helpful

Been there, done that! My son is now 16 months old and is so independent. From the time he was born til about 4 months, I could not put him down. Just as you stated he would wake up from a deep sleep just to cry... (but he was a very gassy baby, and to this day has issues with his stomach) Everybody told me how unhealthy it was for me to give in to him and spoil him. I listened, but didnt really take their advice. (can you really spoil a baby who for the previous 9 months was dependent on your every being.... ?) Anyway, I continued to comfort and soothe him. It made me feel good to know I was the one who could make his problems go away, but at the same time, like you, I could not accomplish anything! Gradually I would introduce him to new things ie. his swing, or a vibrating bouncy seat. Yes, it would only last for a few minutes at a time, but it was a start. When he hit 4 months, we started spending a lot more time with my friends and family. This gave him the opportunity to interact with others and ability to be introduced to new things... which kept him occupied. As far as advice, introduce one thing to him at a time. And for now, it may only last 2 minutes, but do it multiple times throughout the day. Eventually he will learn new ways to soothe himself and clinginess may go away. Good luck!!! :)

1 mom found this helpful

Never fails--one easy kid, one tough one. I like to call these type the "high needs" baby.

My first born was EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY like this (and according to my mom, so was I--so she's just getting her revenge). Even in the hospital. I could finally lay him down to sleep after about 4 months old--but only for short stretches.

A baby carrier.
Maya wrap, baby bjorn, snugli--whatever you prefer.
Just wear the kid.
It's the only way I got anything done.

www.handsfreebabycarrier.com
www.mayawrap.com
www.babybjorn.com

Eventually you will also find the magic toy that will soothe them on their own. Firstborn hated the swing, LOVED the vibrating bouncer--spent half his first 6 months sleeping in it, playing, etc. A two month old may also start liking one of those play gyms as well--also a life saver for me.

My second is like your first. Happily entertains himself. Can lay him down sleepy and he'll just drift off. What an angel.

Sure.... I love them both.... but for DIFFERENT reasons!

1 mom found this helpful

My son was the same - couldn't put him down for even a second to do anything and only slept well when held. Just put him down when you have to with something to entertain or soothe, he should get more used to it and stop protesting as much. It also helped me to put him down - in a swing or on the floor - and stay with him to play and keep company when I didn't have something pressing to do.

Im sure a lot of moms go through this. I did as well. Since your two month old is still fairly small Im sure couldnt you buy one of those wrap around baby carriers? It keeps your hands free to do other things while the baby is still close to you.
My two year old was the same way when he was small and I didnt know about those carriers until he was too big. My teenager and I went crazy having to hold him constantly so he wouldnt scream.
Of course talk to your peditrician to find out if perhaps he or she is a bit of a collicy baby. Sounds to me though that your little one is just very dramatic and sufferes from seperation anxiety already! Im sure your little one will grow out of this.
The only other thing I can recommend which is what I personally used...ear plugs. When he would scream but there was something that I had to do like go to the bathroom or such the ear plugs kept me from pulling my hair out. You can still hear him crying but the high pitch scream is not so high pitch! Good luck to. =)

Eeek! That's so hard. I've had that experience before with my daughter. I'm sure you tried the swing, the vibrating chair, the boppy, angled positions, maybe even supervised tummy time. Maybe a baby sling would help free up your arms.

Try this: Cuddle him close as if he's being held while he's laying. Maybe even start with your arms wrapped around him as if you are holding him up. Tiny baby steps inching further and further. Don't rush it. Let him feel safe with each new position. It's back breaking leaning over but it, for me, beat being heart broken by the shrills.

Don't rock him when you hold him. He may be so used to you soothing him that he won't know how to self sooth when he's laying still.

I hope this helps, I really do. It's exhausting and I feel for you.

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