Baby Gender?

I didn't find out with my first or second child, when i was pregnant with my second i desperately wanted a boy I got a girl. I had trouble bonding at first and wished I had found out right away so I had time to adjust. When I was pregnant with my third i did find out so I could adjust if it was a girl. Surprise it was a boy. The most important thing is you decide together if you want to know and that the baby is healthy.

We didn't find out with our first two and did find out with our third. Our first two were boys - the third was a "surprise" baby, and that's why we decided to find out (it was a girl).

While we were glad to have a girl (and my husband was over the moon) I sort of wish we hadn't found out. I really liked the excitement of having the surprise at the end of the delivery - it gave me something extra to push for during labor.

I think finding out/not finding out is a pretty personal choice. It really comes down to whether you like surprises or certainty. I would talk to your husband - ask him if he thinks finding out would change how he feels, and ask him if he wants to find out.

We found out and told everybody. It was a surprise when we found out...it didn't make it a bigger or less surprise because of the timing. We settled on a name and I feel I really bonded with my son because I talked to him while I was pregnant and called him by name. He was born very early with a traumatic delivery, and I'm glad I didn't have any more surprises that day! I think it helped us through the experience because we already related to him as a person, not as a little bean (which is what we called him before we knew). I don't mean that people who don't find out the gender think that their babies are just beans, but gender identity is obviously a very important part of a person, so knowing our son as our son early on was a very positive experience for us.

A.,

I found out the gender with my first 2 pregnancies and my current one. When I was pregnant with #2, I really wanted another girl. When we found out I was having a boy, yeah I was bumed for awhile, but I got over it, because I knew that all that really matters is a healthy baby - NOT the gender...

I am getting my second girl with my 3rd pregnancy and I couldn't love my son any less....It is nice to have at least one of each... Heck my sister ended up with 3 girls, she wanted a boy in there, but never got it...

Good luck and keep your head up... Just tell your husband that it is his fault if it's a boy... lol j/k

Hi A.. I have 3 children and I found out w/ our 2nd at 39 wks b/c I hadn't had an ultra sound until then and I was so bummed. I loved the surprise of not knowing. I was a little nervous w/my 3rd b/c we already had two boys and I really wanted a girl and secretly my husband did too. I was so tempted but couldn't bring myself to do it and I am so thankful I didn't. Waiting and having my mid-wife, doula and my husband scream "IT'S A GIRL" was the greatest gift/surprise ever. If you can hold out, my advice to you is wait until the day you get to meet your bundle of joy, boy or girl. Good Luck.
J.

Don't find out if your concerned what his reaction will be! Then when the baby come you will both just be thrilled that you have that new beautiful baby!

I think it's a decision you should make WITH you husband, so neither of you will have regrets. Since you've been through it before, I think you need to ask yourself if you would rather know ahead of time, or be dissapointed when the child is born if it is not a girl. I think you will both have a bit of dissapointment if its not what you want, but do you want that now (so you can grieve) or once that beautiful baby is born?

I don't find out for either of my children. With my second, I kinda wanted the experience of knowing ahead of time, but my husband didn't, so we waited. I will push for finding out ahead of time with my next child (if we have more), just to experience the other way.

I have found out the gender both times (I am bad at waiting). I really wanted a girl the last time I was pregnant. I was disappointed when I found out it was a boy. I of course came around and couldn't imagine anything different now. If he is deeply wanting a girl, finding out now that it is a boy may be better than a "blow" to his wishes at birth. I say find out, and give him time to adjust if it is a boy.

we found out what we were having with our second...and we did not tell a soul.

we wouldn't tell anyone the gender, name possibilities we wouldn't tell them anything...it was fun for us, our little secrets...it helped us get more excited and be united in that sense. If I ever have a third I will do it the same way...even though it drives everyone around us nuts, it is how we wanted to do it for us and our family.

It really depends on the individual... my brother/sister never found out and I vowed we never would- am very traditional and wanted to be surprised. We have one son now who's 18 months. When we went into the 20 week ultrasound we told the tech we didn't want to know.... but before we left, we gave in to the urge- (of course you want to know- but will you kick yourself later for not waiting til the birth?) Well, we did- and it was exciting then- and yes, we told our relatives (actually we told everyone. I couldn't know and not tell anyone). The up side was that it was SO great for bonding- and we had him named and knew EXACTLY who we were expecting. After that experience, I don't understand how people pick 2-3 names for each gender- then wait until they're born to decide? We're currently expecting twins in August- and couldn't wait to find out. Having found out with Ethan, couldn't imagine not knowing. SO, we found out we're having a boy and a girl. We already know their names; so having found out both times, I don't know it any other way- many of my friends never found out and that was great for them... As for your husband, he's going to find out now or later- and will have to accept it either way. I know initially I was hoping for a girl (there are 7 grandsons and 1 granddaughter in my family)- but wasn't upset when I found out he was a boy. He's the light of our lives, and couldn't imagine for a moment not having him- so much so, that I would have been thrilled to have two more boys as he's such a joy! Just try to remember to count your blessings. You have three children already- so many people go through fertility, have kids born with health issues, or have spent thousands on fertility or adoption to achieve their dream of having a family. Whichever you choose- you'll know what's right for the two of you. Good luck!