22 answers

Baby Cries and Constantly Needs to Be Held

My child just turned 6 months, he seems to be having an attachment problem. I know that most kids go through this, but I just needed to know if there is anything i can do. He doesn't mind strangers and I have people watch him 3-4 hrs a day in the afternoon. But at night he just cries if I am not holding him. I have tried the jolly jumper, the swing, the play mat, the papasuan. Nothing, he just cries until I come over. I try to give him 10-20 mins before I come over, but he goes strong almost the whole time. He doesn't need to be fed or changed. Any advice??

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Wear him. Babies need more than just food and to be changed. They also cry when they need human contact. Just get a sling or carrier and wear him , He will be independant and want nothing to do with you soon enough. I mean really before you know it , and I mean like 6 months from now he'll be EVERWHERE and not want you to help him do anything. He will grow out of it.

3 moms found this helpful

Ohh, he is 6 months old . .hold him - LOTS. He clearly wants to be near you for comfort. It won't last forever. Making him cry for 10-20 minutes is heartbreaking. There have been many studies about the effect of crying for long periods of time on development. Go to:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Wear him. Babies need more than just food and to be changed. They also cry when they need human contact. Just get a sling or carrier and wear him , He will be independant and want nothing to do with you soon enough. I mean really before you know it , and I mean like 6 months from now he'll be EVERWHERE and not want you to help him do anything. He will grow out of it.

3 moms found this helpful

Night time is often the hardest time on children. They are over-stimulated, over-tired and just need some love and attention. Unfortunately, its also a point in the day that we are busy, tired and running short on patience. Its important to assure your child that you are there and you love them, but you also need for them have some independence so you can cook, do dishes, etc.

I'm all for baby wearing but I don't think wearing the child while cooking is safe - splatters, spills or even little arms and legs wiggling around can be a very dangerous thing. Plus, its akward to reach around the baby to stir something.

I would say as L. as he's nearby and you aren't entirely ignoring him the entire time, there is nothing wrong with letting him fuss and learn to entertain himself.

3 moms found this helpful

Hold him. It goes too fast I know. My daughter was like that as well, and now she is a really independent 6 year old. Wish I knew where the link was, but there was a link once to an article on a government website when I was researching the same issue. It basically was titled "Can you spoil your child by holding them too much". Wish I could find the link for you. However the summary was "NO". By holding a child when they need it as a baby, they feel secure and loved . . . and the studies showed that the children that were in the "held significantly" group matured into toddlers and young children who were actually more secure and self sufficient, and felt more comfortable exploring on their own. The children that were held less and not kept as physically close sometimes needed a bit more reassuring from parents because they did not seem to have the same self secure feeling.

Now, that being said, my first one clung to me for 12 months, and early on became pretty independent, and has a great level of self confidence. My second one did NOT request to be held as much, and is equally as independent. So what I would take from the article that I read is that IF your child needs a greater sense of security from being held that first year, give it to them, you won't wreck them. If they don't, count your blessings and your lack of backpains!

2 moms found this helpful

I was given a Moby wrap when my daughter was a baby and for a long we used it regularly. It was a little complicated to learn how to use at first, but it gave me the ability to hold her and do other stuff that I need to do. It is also versatile in that babies can be worn in a variety of ways. She is 2 now and we still use it at times when she needs to be a little closer to mama for a long time. It was natural for her to want to be close to me (babies want that closeness, it helps build trust, and later helps baby to be more independent) and for me to be close to her. It isn't about baby manipulating you or anything like that, it is an innate need for closeness. He probably misses you when you are apart.
Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Hold him. My oldest is 12 and I can't hold him anymore. Hold him.

1 mom found this helpful

Physical problems first:

- Cold/Flu coming on
- Ear infection
- Teething
- Gas
- Colic
Many of these only show up at night, because during the day they're too interested in what's going on around them, but as they get tired and things wind down they're more aware of "I feel YUCKY"

Physical Reasons
- Overtired
- Hungry (6 months is growth spurt time)

Emotional reasons
- Just wants love and affection (solution = wearing when possible)

I always check the physical causes first, because when I don't (and I learned this the hard way, because I'm very emotions-based), and then a dose of tylenol or a bottle or a long burp solves the problem I end up feeling like and idiot.

1 mom found this helpful

My 3rd child did this from a very young age until she was around 4-6 months (I don't remember the exact age). Bang on 4pm every day she would start crying and could not settle herself and we had to hold her , it was tiredness and in the early weeks we could not get her to stay awake later than 5pm (she was then out for the night until 6 the next morning). Have you noticed if it starts at the same time everyday? If so and it is towards the later part of the afternoon then it is more than likely tiredness. Maybe take a look at when he takes his last nap before you put him down at night , try and jiggle the nap time a little to see if it helps with him being happier later in the day. If not then maybe move his bedtime to an earlier time. I am pleased to say that the going to bed at 5pm for my daughter lasted only a few months and she moved on to a more normal bedtime , she does still get tired/grumpy though and cannot stay up much past 6.30pm (she is now 19 months).

1 mom found this helpful

I have much the same issue with my daughter. My feeling is that at 6 months, if they cry, they need you. This might be especially true given that he is away from you during the day. I would hold him. Some people "wear" their babies in a babycarrier while cooking dinner, etc. (Wear the baby on your back, not your front, while cooking...) My daughter is now 12 months and is a little more independent now. She has a twin brother who wants a lot of attention too, and believe me it's not easy. Is your child's father around when this happens? If the baby only wants you, then dad can take care of dinner or whatever needs to be done.

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