Baby Blues 7 Weeks Later

Dear L.,
Greetings!!!

I truly understand how you are feeling as a MAMA myself. Experiencing the BABY BLUES is downright depressing and so overwhelming, especially when you want to be the best MAMA you can be and everything becomes an effort. Have you ever thought about researching natural or homeopathic remedies for how you are feeling? There are definitely many natural solutions that can actually help with what you are going through.

I highly recommend contacting Dr. Anita Pepi who is truly an amazing Chiropractor and Nutritionist and would definitely be able to help you naturally.

Here's her data:

2950 Los Feliz Blvd. Suite 101
Los Angeles, CA 90039
(323) 666~1088
http://www.drpepi.com

If she is too far for you, please let me know as I may know of an incredible nutritionist that is closer to you.

I also recommend checking out 4 organizations validating why going the natural route is best for you and your family:

http://www.uniteforlife.org/
http://www.cchr.org/
http://www.cchr.org/mothers_act.html
http://www.labelmesane.com/

You'll also find some amazing data regarding alternatives at: http://www.cchr.org/solutions_and_alternatives/

And, L., please watch:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=LQW23XCmOCw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qble_vQEC7M
http://www.psychconflicts.org/

Please free to reach me anytime at: (323) 906~2784 or via e~mail me at ____@____.com. I'd love to help you however I can. And, I promise, there is light at the end of the tunnel! : )))

LOL,
L. (Mama to 39 week old Dylan Orion).

2 moms found this helpful

Hi L.,

I felt very overwhelmed around this same time with my second son. He just seemed to never be settled and was inconsolable; which made everything worse for me. The funny thing was- I took him to his pediatrician and she told me he was colicky and gave me advice on how to make things better for him. A week later, we were all much happier. He was more settled and I was happier and felt less like a failure. Maybe you should visit your daughter's doctor as well as your own (as I see many other wonderful and caring moms have suggested below).

Good luck!
R.

1 mom found this helpful

Hey, L.!
First of all, you aren't alone. I agree, it is the most defeating feeling when you can't console your baby. Don't compare your experience to what you see in others, and make sure you drink enough water and get some sleep. Sleep when she will, if you have to, but make sure that you sleep. And give yourself a break. Some babies cry more than others.

That said, My SIL just had a baby a few months ago, and her biggest "thing" was getting him on a fully predictable schedule. She rotated 3 things - play, eat, sleep - every three hours. He takes 20 minutes to eat, (and only feeds him 4 ounces) sleeps for about two hours, then they "play" for 40 minutes. This can mean anything from when he gets a bath, to when he "exercises" (she kicks his legs, moves his arms - it's so cute!) He knows that he can predict exactly what is going to happen, and when, and was "trained" how that happens. No, he didn't always follow the schedule, (he was feeling sick a few weeks ago, and that throws anyone off) but overall, he goes with it. As he gets older, the rotation stays the same, but the schedule changes (every 4 hours, every 6 hours, every 8 hours, with the "play" getting longer & "eat" time staying the same). You may want to try this. Of course not every baby is going to react the same way. But you may find that your baby is upset because she is in control, and she is trying to figure out what to do with that control. Take charge, and you may find that she is so much happier, and easier to manage - if for no other reason than you know that you are in control of yourself, and you have done everything you can to help the situation.

Oh, and one more thing - if you are nursing, you might want to "pray" (if you are religious - if not, meditate, whatever you want to call it) while you are nursing. Make it a prayer of gratitude ONLY. Be grateful for the miracle that is your baby. For the miracle that is your body providing the nourishment for that baby. For the miracle that your baby's father is (assuming) a good man. For her fingers, her toes, her belly, her hair, her eyes. The more you contemplate what a miracle she is, the more you will feel bonded to her, and her crying will feel less like an accusation and more like communication.

Good luck, and keep us "posted".

1 mom found this helpful

Dear L.:

You are not alone. And you dont have any reason to feel guilty about the way you feel. Everyone is so excited when you tell them your pregnant and you only hear the good things, no one ever tells you the truth: which is that having a baby and taking care of that baby after it is born is really hard work! The pressure can be overwhelming! When my first son was born (2004) It felt like the world had come crashing down on me. I was feeling like "now what I supposed to do". I had read all the books and had tons of advice but still was feeling down. It took nearly a year for me to feel "OK" as a mom. The best thing that you can do is to have a support group. Family and friends and other people that have babies. They will make you feel like you are normal and that they have had similar feelings. Find a playgroup or start one of your own. Definately get out!! If your anxiety still doesn't seem to cease, ( within the next few weeks) I would definately talk to your doctor about it. When my second was born (2006) I thought I would have a better handle on things, but still found my self feeling the same way. Looking back I think that I did have a slight case of PPD. It only took me about 4 months to get the "handle" of things but only after I moved home with mom and dad for a while ( MY husband is military and was not home during this time). Don't be afraid to say you need help. I really hope this helps you. And you are doing great! It will get better. Every day is a new day. You will learn day by day. Much love and Aloha
S.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi L.
It is a hard time and nobody knows better than other moms. I found a wonderful support group called the MOMS club. Everyone in the club lives in your area and are stay at home moms. That is how I found my sanity and really looked forward to waking up and going to park days and playgroup because I knew there would be other moms to talk to. I don't know what city you are in but if you go to www.momsclub.org you can look up your local chapter and there will be someone on their website to contact. Trust me you need to be around other people that know what you are going through!!!

Hang in there darling! It is a VERY overwhelming thing being a first time mother and having the father work. It can be so frustrating at times youll just want to run away! Stick it out and hang in there. Being a parent is not easy. Youre going to learn a lot of new things about life and yourself. I know it can also be tough being a stay at home mom! You feel so trapped inside the walls of your home and soon you wont know who you are anymore. You will find yourself. It happened to me. My boy is 16 months now... There is light at the tunnel. Find an activity to do with your child. Even if its just taking a walk at the mall or something. And talk to your friends and family as much as you can. Even if youre just calling to say hi! Some people need more stimulation than a baby all day... or if things get really bad, get a part-time job. Enjoy these moments as much as you can your little one will be all grown up before you know it! Hang in there hun... things will get better for you :)

L.,
Everyone is giving great advice here, hang in there. In addition to everything mentioned, one more thing that I think makes such a difference is to get some rest. Even if it's one day a week, ask your husband if he can get up during the night to be with baby so you can sleep through, or during the daytime on a weekend even, so you rest a little.
Or, if not, try to go out with your baby right after nap time when baby is awake, to the mall, for a walk, whatever. And come back when it's time for her next nap so you can nap too. I often made the mistake of trying to go out to run errands while baby was asleep so I could get more done, but then found myself tired upon returning when the baby would wake. Good luck.

I read this request & a little light bulb went off when reading Melanie's reply:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/recent/92530/1215312023/1
My son is six weeks and I really feel like exahastion is kicking in, making me feel depressed. I don't feel like leaving the house b/c I don't want to deal with a screaming baby in his seat. I find it's hard to sleep with the baby b/c by the time I lay down & quiet my mind he wakes up, or I have to take care of my other son, clean the house, clean myself, the laundry, dishes, etc. It's hard, but I know from experience with my first son that it's not like this forever. I think I'll just try to do what one of the other moms said-live in the moment. I also know I feel much better when I feel like I'm getting help from my partner.

L., I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It certainly puts a damper on what should be a joyous time in your life. I've suffered from both PPD and the baby blues in the past, so I understand how you're probably feeling. I think the distinction between PPD and the baby blues is the duration - baby blues typically only lasts a few weeks at most, and anything beyond that is considered depression. I found that it helped not to isolate myself, and to seek out the company of other mothers with babies (MOMS Club is a wonderful organization that has chapters in almost every city; they do playgroups, park days, field trips, mother's night out, etc. - it's just a great way to build new friendships with other women who are dealing with similar childrearing issues). If your feelings are affecting your day-to-day functioning, please talk to your doctor. There is treatment available. Nobody should suffer in silence from PPD - there is help out there.

All the best to you -

L.

I had a really hard time also when I first gave birth to both o my girls. You need to see a doctor because baby blues should only last 2 weeks. It will make a big difference if you see a doctor now. You will enjoy your baby more once you get help. Please see a doctor right away!!!

I have 4children under 6yrs.to 8mos. I just tell myself be in this moment don't think this is forever or what else I could be doing. I do know that my children can feel when I'm upset and that makes us both more upset. So I take a breath clear my mind try to relax. Then try one thing at a time. I found the 1st time I was a mom I was letting the baby stay wake to long and he was over tired and then I just had to let him cry out his energy ans make his awake time shorter the next time.

Of course you feel overwhelmed, that's normal. BUT I would go to the doc and get help if it is PDD.

Make sure you get plenty of rest! Do NOT run around cleaning the house or something like that when your baby is asleep. Getting more rest will help. Yes, it does get better. Part of the "feelings" are also that you feel it will not and it just adds to your anxiety. Try to realize that you're feeling it will not get better is, so to speak, part of the symptoms. I know you have read about other people having the same feelings. If you have time, poke around this website:

http://onetoughjob.org/?gclid=CJHaxtfSlpQCFSQbagodWAYMtw

IT DOES GET BETTER and you can help it along by better understanding what you're going through. Read up a little and talk to your OBGYN. She or he might be able to help. I believe some people even take medication.

Good luck and CHIN UP and get some more sleep!

Congrats on your baby!!

i know you have recieved alot of good advise. I have not read all of them, but this is what helped me: When I first had my baby boy (2 years ago) I wanted to be the super mom. My husbands Ex wife used her kids as an excuse to not do things around the house, cook dinner ect... so I wanted to show him that I was a better person... well honey, let me tell you that was very over whelming. I finally had to realize that some days the house would not be as clean, the dinner had to be simple. My husband wanted a happy baby and a happy mommy/wife. So things just have to put off. If you think it might be PDD, then dont hesitate to talk to your doctor. Its very common. I think, now that I look back, I had a small case, but I was unfamiliar with the feelings so ignored them. IT DOES GET BETTER!
Hang in there and take it slow! Enjoy your baby as much as possible.
Good luck!

D.

Watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 on the Learning Channel. That show always makes me feel better!!! It's actually inspiring and will make you laugh and appreciate only having one!! Good luck, it'll get better, really it will. It does help to talk to other mothers that understand. Try to reach out to friends and or make new ones at Mommy and Me classes.

Hi L., Been there! When my oldest was about 2 months old I remember feeling that I'd totally ruined my life! Perhaps you're having both pdd and are overwhelmed.

While I'm sure it will get better on both ends, please call your Dr. right away. There is great medication to help you through this. After all, if you'd develped diabetes you'd take insulin, would'nt you? PDD is a medical condition that must be treated. I'm sure alot of people are going to give you grief re the meds, but who cares, the're not living your life.

BTW, I found it helpful to introduce formula so that I was not feeling chained to my baby. FYI, my oldest is now a teenager, and we both survived intact! In fact, I adore her, remember this will pass. Best wishes!

Congrates on your new baby!

Everytime things get crazy repeat these words.

There is only one of me, I can do 10 things at once but 11 is asking to much of anyone. I am wonderwoman, just a tiered wonderwoman therefore I can do it all, in time.

Here is a great tip: Take time for mom. Do you know anyone that you can trade an hour or 2 with, where on Tuesday you watch their baby and on Thursday they watch yours. Or go walking together, go to the park and watch the other kids play while you visit. And quess what: when you feel overwhelmed your baby can feel your tention and therefore gets fussy. Most likely you won't be able to comfort your baby because you are under more pressure with the crying. Another tip: if you can hear your baby then he/she is okay. This means that it's ok to put the baby in a safe place, in the crib in another room close the door and go eat something you love or turn on the music and dance or scream in a pillow, try it all find yourself a 5 or 10 minute timeout to releave your frustration, then calmly go back in the bedroom pick up your baby and love it like you know no other mother could. Your baby might be a little mad that you left them their to cry but will also notice that you are much calmer. You will probably only have to do this a few times until you decide that you actually do know how to comfort your baby.

If this doesn't help talk to your OB about depression. Best of luck to you. You are a great mom don't forget it. We all go crazy at times. And remember the dust and dirt on the floor will be their again tomorrow whether you clean it up today or not. J.

Hi L.,

It sounds as if you have PDD, but to be sure you should speak with your OBGYN as soon as possible. You need the support of your husband and should not feel guilty asking because he has gone back to work. He's actually getting a break and you're not.

PDD is treatable, and is not your fault. It is a chemical imbalance that a LOT of women get. I had severe PMS before having my first child. I quit more jobs than you could imagine. Somehow, the pregnancy corrected my imbalance. You need something/someone to help you...NOW.

No, it's not going to be ok without some help. It's not normal to feel guilty, defeat and anxiety all the time. A baby's cry is their only way of communicating. They have no other skills in this area.

Many community colleges have Child Development classes that you can take (while attending you allow the childcare center on campus to sit for you) so that you can feel empowered in raising your new baby.

In summary, tell your OBGYN how you are feeling, ask your husband for a break in the evenings, take a child development class at a community college during the day (nice little break) and take baby to the campus childcare center.

God bless.

Hi L.,
I remember when my now 9 1/2 year old was born and feeling overwhelmed. Best advice I got then I'll give to you now. Relax. Babies cry. It's not your fault. Just love your baby and take care of both of you. Even when you do everything right your baby will sometimes cry. Don't hold the baby all of the time because they can get sore or even just become used to being held and once they get used to being held all of the time it's very hard to start putting them down since they'll cry until you pick them up again. Have times that you hold the baby and times that you put the baby down to sleep or be in a bouncer seat or a swing or whatever you have. You'll both be happier if you're not always connected. Swaddling can be helpful when it's not too hot to do so. It makes babies feel more secure like being in the womb. I've now been through the newborn stage with my 3 kids and I still think that: "relax and remember that babies cry and it's not your fault." is the best advice ever. I'm sure you're a great mom. Believe in yourself and do what you think is best. God bless you both. L. P.

Hi L.!
I am writing you as a very experienced PPD mommy. I know that the healing process takes very long when left to care for baby and do all the other responsibilities right away. I was like you left to do everything for my baby and my 5 other children shortly after #6 and I had PPD really bad, I started feeling like throwing the baby down and also running away. I would be driving and I'd have dizzy spells and didn't even know about PPB back then. Thank God that I went to get help from a counselor. I went to see her once a week and she helped me cope with the issues that I faced.

YOU NEED SUPPORT and also time to yourself. Even if it's one day out of the month...that's something.
I'll be praying for you...aloha.

I hope you find some peer support. It is rough at the beginning, if you don't have family there to support you. Check with your doctor to see is you are having post-partem depression. Find a group of parents with young babies that meets every week. Also, call the Parenting Warm Line (free service for issues of everyday parenting) to get some suggestions and to talk to someone who understands.

Good luck!

Judy

It does get better! I felt the same way and was pretty miserable. I have a 3 month old daughter now and finally feel like I am getting the hang of things and enjoying her and enjoying being a mom. I cried a lot and felt guilty for feeling so bad! My husband works late and rarely gets to see her during the week because she is sleeping when he gets home, so I had a lot of rough days all by myself. I understand so hang in there...it really does get better even though it may never seem like it will :)

I'm due with our first in a few weeks and I worry about feeling those same things, especially because I don't have a lot of friends. Fortunately, we have a very friendly community who is very supportive even to folks they don't know really well. One of my friends is planning on setting up a meal list for us. Even if that just means someone comes by a couple times a week with food, it will bring us variety, take a load off, and feel really supporting. I have also been recommended to use disposable plates and cups for a while so there's less dishes, and lastly to hire a teenage girl (with sibling experience) once a week to come do some cleaning and keep an eye on the baby so I can take a nice long shower once a week. Teenagers don't cost too much. :)

Best of luck, I bet we all need lots of support when we're first-timers, especially because we can't even trust how we feel!

What works for me is a journal. One way to manage & sort your feelings is to express them on paper and refer back to them during one of your "stronger" moments. This way, you can reflect, acknowledge, learn & evolve sooner than later. Remember "out of sight, out of mind" so write in your journal (and read it daily) something along the lines of...#1 what you are experiencing is natural & normal, #2 it will get better and #3 how you learn from & handle this experience will only make you stronger in all aspects of being able to balance your own mind, body & spirit along with your commitment to your husband & your child...especially if you plan on having more children. Remember: "when there's a will, there's a way." You have the will, so best wishes in finding the way that works best for your personal growth in this and every challenge life brings you. I wish you all the strength & patience you need. Take care & good luck.

Hi L. -

You got lots of great advice, and I hope it helps to hear there are other moms out there who've experienced similar feelings. I did see one that touched on what I'd like to advise, so I'm here to reiterate and expand on that idea, which is to find activities.

You certainly have this group for when it's hard to get out, but I highly advise joining a Mommy & Me group, or the Mom's Club. It's not just about babies & kids -- the moms need activities too and being with a group of women (and the occasional dad) who is in the same sort of boat will be very beneficial.

Being home with a baby is both wonderful and isolating. Being home with a first baby all alone can be terrifying. I like to say humans are pack animals. We are designed to work best in groups. I have a great love of solitude, but when my daughter was a baby & a toddler, I needed to be in the company of other moms. I found myself being a better parent when I was in a group; somehow is was less stressful. And I've formed life-long bonds that I am very grateful for.

I hope you are in an area where it's easy to find groups. Mom's Club is all over and Mommy & Me groups can be found via hospitals. I was in a lovely one through St. John's in Santa Monica. The YWCA in Santa Monica, if you're in that area, might be worth a try as well.

I wish you and your family all the best!
Cheers,
C.

It will get better. I,too, felt TOTAL dispair from week 2 to 5 (first time mom of twins, virtually no family around, virtually no help, a husband who works 60 hrs. a week!!!!). For some women it lasts longer. Seek help from a professional if you are having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of hurting your baby. If you have friends/family willing to help, then call on them. You may be mourning the loss of the "old" you, I know I did. When ever possible, take some time out for yourself. For me, even indulging in a candy bar while wathcing t.v. once the babies went down was like a little piece of heaven. Once your baby is 3 months or so, you may want to establish feeding/nap/bedtime schedule and routines so that you know you'll have a little time for you everyday. For me, having two babies, routines and schedules have been great (mine are 9 months now). Whatever you do, be flexible, try to stay calm, and know that you are doing the best you can. Trust your instincts and give those same instincts time to develop. You'll get through this.

When I went through PPD, I had no idea that it was happening. In hindsight I see so many things that I did and felt at the time that I wish I had realized were PPD. I will start by saying it will get better, but you have to be aware of it first.

On the days when you are feeling overwhelmed, ask for help. Other people don't want to intrude or make you feel like you don't know what you are doing, so they aren't going to just offer up help. Or they may say..."If you need anything let me know." They mean that, so let them know. Don't be afraid to say you need a break.

Also, sleep as much as you can when the baby sleeps. The laundry will be there after you wake. It won't be the end of the world if those dishes don't get washed right away. It is far more important for you to get much needed rest.

Go outside. Sometimes being cooped up in the house all day will make you feel cut off from the world. Sometimes a little fresh air will go a long way. And it is good for the baby too. Take walks when it is cooler.

Things to remember, PPD is so different for everyone. The fact that you are asking is a huge step in your favor. Be aware of your feelings. If ever you feel anger or hatred towards the baby...tell someone. Ask a friend to be your "safey net". I know this sounds extreme, but I can remember so many nights when the baby wouldn't sleep and I had this irrational anger towards her. I learned to ask for help and worked out a routine with a friend coming over to spend time with me and the baby. You may also find that you resent your husband since he "gets" to go back to work. Even though he is working, he can be a huge help at night. Make sure you get his support.

Most important is to take time for yourself to heal emotionally, physically, spiritually and every other way. You are going to be fine. But all things take time. And being a first time parent can be overwhelming. No one expects you to be perfect. Don't think you have to do everything on your own. That is how many women get themselves into trouble.

And lastly, involve your family and friends as much as you can. Either go and visit them or ask them to come to your house. Over time you will need their help a little less everyday.

Stay strong, good luck.
PS...You always have us to ask.
T.

Your Hormones are out of wack and will be for awhile. Make an appoitment with your doctor and give them a list of how you feel. You need to be on some medication for at least a year and get some counseling. There nothing wrong with you but your body is fighting you and alot of new responsibilities have been thrown on you. ASk a friend or relative to come and help out if possible. Take time for your self and just cry if need be. Don't delay your baby needs you to feel good. You will! You are a good mom!

I was really overwelmed when my first baby was born. I remember crying a lot. Katie had colic and screamed constantly for months, no matter what I tried. That is just an extremely difficult situation to deal with being alone. My heart goes out to you. My kids are both teenagers now. Somehow I lived through it. But I remember how hard it was. Don't let ANYONE tell you that your anxiety is contributing to your baby's crying. A neighbor told me that when Katie was crying night and day and it made me feel like hell. It is false information passed on by women who have never had a colicy baby. The fact is that some babies cry more than others. My first baby screamed night and day. The next one was almost completely silent. Today as teenagers they still have very different temperments. That is the way they are wired.

That being said, you really need to see your doctor and find out if your feelings are symptomatic of post-partum depression. If you need treatment, get it. Also try to find a way to connect yourself to other moms. Sometimes places like parks and recreation have mother's groups, also churches. See if any of your friends or relatives would be willing to come by and relieve you for a couple of hours so you can get out of the house and get some peace and quiet with nobody hanging on you.

Your friends are right--you will get through this and it will get easier. That does not mean that it might be impossibly hard right now.

My best thoughts are with you,

J.

Hi L.,
I have been there. I felt anxiety and overwhelmed plenty of times, and I learned that when the baby starts crying and you feel like you can't comfort or get baby to stop and you feel frustrated, put the baby down in the crib and walk away to collect yourself, and then try again, it won't hurt the baby to cry a little extra. Also be sure to let your husband know how you are feeling, and be sure to talk to your doctor. If there is any family near you, ask if they will come over and help you out a little here and there. Hang in there, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel!
~ C. ~ hope this helped a little :)

Hi L. - I just read the book "I was a Really Good Mom Before I had Kids" and really enjoyed hearing what other moms are thinking/experiencing out there. I know it is impossible to find time to read, but it is a quick easy read and it won't matter if you are interrupted 100 times before the end!

L.,
There is so much great advice and support that people have offered and I will only add one thing to it. Always remember that your child lived inside you for 9 months and still thinks he/she is a part of you. Therefore, it is of utmost importanct to find ways to center yourself into a calm and peaceful state(no matter how loud baby is screaming...and of course all of the basic needs have been met as well) Whatever you are feeling your baby is also feeling, so if you are feeling anxiety, frustrated, etc. so will your baby. Lead your baby into the peaceful state that you desire. It took me a while to figure this out but I always thought about when you are on a plane and they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first and then your childs. You have to center yourself before you can help your child back to peace. Show your child what you desire from them by modeling it. This worked wonders for me and it still does with my 2 1/2 y/o daughter.
Be the Peace you wish to see in your child!

Dear L., I had baby blues that required a Psychologist and medication for a while. Mine was one in a thousand and I hope yours is short lived. My mom gave me some good advice 30 years ago. " Be calm and your baby will be calm. "

Something else to do for yourself take naps when your baby naps. Don't be so hard on yourself.

A new friend, B.

Hi L., you will be OK, right now you are going through a form of post Partum (spelled wrong) depression, it is very common with your first baby. I went through it, some women have gone to exstream with it, yours sounds mild compared to some. Babies cry, thats just what they do, and honestly it doesn't mean there is always something wrong with them, so when you start to feel the anxiety, lay her in her crib/bassent and take a breather for yourself, it's good for babies to cry sometimes, I was told by a doctor that when they cry, it actually helps keep fluid out of their loungs, so they don't need to be picked up or consoled every time they cry, most new moms don't know this and thats why they are tired and over whelmed. Babies are a lot of work, but some moms make it more work than it has to be. Hope this helps, you can e-mail me if you like, I have been a mom for 24years,I have been running a daycare for 11 so we can talk if you like ____@____.com J.

My daughter is almost 2 and sometimes I still have anxiety, a little depression sometimes. I'm not going to tell you that it will go away soon, but it will lessen, it will get easier to deal with. The best thing for you to do is realize that you are a great mom and sometimes babies are just unconsolable... Rule out the obvious -- hungry, uncomfortable (wet diaper, too hot, onsie too small or itchy), gassy (use the Mylicon- target brand is ok too, it won't hurt and saved my life a million times). If all those things are good and her breath doesn't smell acidy (like a reflux issue), then maybe she just wants to be held, rocked and singed to. If you find you don't get much accomplished around the house, strap her on and do what you need to do, or just take pride in the fact that even though you have a super dirty house- you have a super happy baby. Remember to keep reaching out, even if it's just an e-mail every now and then, use your support system and things will be just fine.

"I am having a really hard time . . .don't see any light at the end of the tunnel . . .I feel defeat every time I cant console my baby and feel anxiety when she cries . . . "
Go to your doctor ASAP and get HELP! Do NOT suffer - get a diagnosis for what ails you and seek treatment. This is a beautiful time of life - if you are unhappy find out why and FIX it. You do not have to suffer, you and your family deserve better.
Go get help.

Run don't walk to your doctor and explain what you just wrote....It's probably PDD and your doctor can give you some temporary medication to help with your mood swings. The medication will not be addictive and if you should be nursing...there are other kinds of meds to use..
Do this ..and you'll life will be so much easier and pleasant..

AJ

Hi L., my son is currently two right now, but I do remember what it was like when I brought a new baby home. I too had to had the baby blues. I cried the first few weeks truly just because I was highly emotional. I remember my first well check up, I couldnt help but just to break down and cry to the doctor. Everything was just so overwhelming. My son Luke, if he didnt get enough to eat or was fussy or woke up to much in the middle of the night. I felt like there was nothing I could do. My emotions were all over the place when I was breast feeding. As soon as I stopped breast feeding my feelings & emotions finally got under control. I'm not saying stop breast feeding but everyone is different. It truly does get better with time. Good Luck!!!!

Hi
Please get some support. It is hard, and it does get better. Here are 2 great resources that really helped me.

http://www.momsclub.org/links.html
www.babybootcamp.com

Good luck

As a first time parent myself I know how overwhelming it can be with Dad back at work and you all by yourself trying to handle the needs of a newborn. Mine wasn't PDD it was just frustration at being "alone" when I thought we were doing this together. Who knew my husband would be sent on the road for the next 2 1/2 months for work! Anyway, don't worry about trying to console your baby every moment. Do as much as you can but be prepared for those times when you simply won't be able to tell what's bothering her and to help stop it. In those times, I would just let my son cry for a few minutes while I gathered myself before I blew my top. I'm sure you'll have times like that yourself as a knew mom with Dad back at work. Don't feel bad about it but just recognize that you aren't superhuman and we all just figured this stuff out by trial and error ourselves. My son is now 4 months old and I'm dealing with his first cold. He's miserable and instead of feeling like a horrible mom for not seeing the signs earlier I've just resigned myself to doing what I can to make him feel better when I can. When I can't, I just hold him until he falls asleep (not often enough however). You're not doing anything wrong just because you can't figure out how to console your child. We learn these things as we go along and all of us make mistakes. Good luck!

B. D.

Hi L.,
you have received a lot of great advice here...most importantly, make sure you speak to your dr, he/she will help you to confirm what is "normal" and what could be falling into something deeper. What I also STRONGLY suggest is to make sure you take full advantage of all of your friends and family who say "call me if you need anything".....they really do mean it! I am a single mom of a 19th month old and it took me about 5-6 weeks to actually start calling in some of those offers. I felt so much better when I did. The best part was having a friend come over and watch my daughter (even when she was sleeping) just so I could take a nice long hot shower......you don't realize just how much you miss that. Hang in there, this will pass and just love on that little baby of yours, she will help you thru this. to this day, when ever may family comes over, I sort of "turn them loose" with my daughter and do what I need to do. I cherish that time to get things done even more than I do visiting with them ~ those days will be back soon. Congrations on your new little princess!