Baby Announcement Etiquette

Updated on July 19, 2010
A.P. asks from Elmira, NY
27 answers

Hi moms! I'm due in 5 weeks with my second boy. With my first, my in-laws threw me a baby shower. With this baby, no one has mentioned anything at all. My mom is out of state, otherwise, she would have put something together. Anyway, my mom thinks it would be ok to put registry information in with our baby announcement once the little guy arrives. I'm not sure how I feel about this - I really don't need anything but it would be nice to receive gifts we want *if* someone wanted to send something. What do you think?

I should clarify - I would have loved to have a party to celebrate the baby, not for getting gifts. I'm not expecting gifts. We don't really need anything. My first son is almost 4, but I saved everything from his babyhood & the two will only be a few weeks apart as far as birthdays. My mom is the one pushing the issue, and I just wanted to get some feedback from other moms. Thanks.

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L.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Inappropriate IMO! Sending registry info in any kind of invitation or annoucement and having a second shower, especially if the baby is the same sex as the first, is in extremely poor taste.

6 moms found this helpful

C.S.

answers from Medford on

I am all for having a second shower (to celebrate the baby), but I really don't think it appropriate to send registry info with the announcement. It just doesnt seem like the right place. You could always have a little gathering after the baby comes to celebrate. Like you said you don't really need anything, but I also think its sad that the 2nd one doesnt get those "special" gifts.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.L.

answers from New York on

I would be mortified if someone put a gift registry on a birth announcement. Very tacky. That being said, it's definitely not unheard of to have a shower for a 2nd baby. To each his own! But definitely avoid putting a gift registry site on the announcement. If people want to give you a gift for the baby, they will, without being asked or suggested.
Lynsey

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

Completely tacky. If someone wants to buy you a gift, they will either ask you where you're registered, or just figure it out themselves.

6 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations! While it is nice to receive gifts (who wouldn't love that), it would be very tacky to include registry information with an announcement, even if it was a first baby. It implies that you want the recipient to send you a gift, while you're just letting them know what you would like in case they want to send you something. A baby announcement should be just that, an announcement. I'm sure people will send gifts anyway, but you shouldn't include registry information with it.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

NO -that's completely tacky. Receiving a baby announcement in no way obligates someone to purchase a gift, but if you include that it will make everyone feel like it's expected. Baby announcements are just that -a nice way to let others know your new one has arrived. If someone wants to send a gift (and you may be pleasantly surprised at how many do), then they can.

5 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think that would be in bad taste. Your friends and family will welcome the baby with gifts all on their own. It would be like asking for specific gifts.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

Not appropriate. You are basically asking for gifts to include registry information, especially if you don't need much of anything.

We just had our second with a 7 year age gap and no shower for the second one either. We did send out announcements to let everyone know our bundle of joy had arrived but nothing else. We did get a lot of cards and gifts from the announcements even though we did not expect anything.

Luckily I also saved everything. Some things did not survive the 7 years, and a move, but we only had to get a few things.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I think every baby deserves a shower.. but if you dont have one... dont put that info on the annoucements. you can have a shower after the baby is born.. my husbands culture they do a "baby shower" when the baby is a month old... most people bring gifts.. but its more of people just coming and welcoming the baby home!

2 moms found this helpful
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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Dear A.,
Congratulations on your new little boy! How fun to have a brother for your older son. You said that you don't need anything. I wouldn't register (I never did with any of mine). I wouldn't put a note about what sort of gift they should buy me. I would simply send the announcement. IF you get a gift (you probably will get many), send a heartfelt, gracious thank you. If the timing works well, have the baby with the gift somehow (wearing it, playing with it, etc.) so that they can see a picture of the baby and get the delight of seeing their gift appreciated. If you want a party to celebrate the birth of your son, you can throw one. In that case, I would very clearly and strongly indicate that gifts are not at all expected-just come to celebrate with us. Let you mom know that you are fine and are not feeling hurt by there being no shower. I'm sure she is just hurting for you, thinking that you might be having a hard time with it.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from New York on

Don't register and definitely don't put registry info on the baby announcement! Throwing ones' own baby shower is tacky because it's essentially asking for gifts ... how much more so putting registry info on a baby announcement? (it would read to me like asking for gifts without even giving people the benefit of the shower with its free food and time with friends)

Yes, some people may get you things anyway, and you may or may not need those things. If you don't need them, return them to a big box store or give them to those in need.

Congrats on your little one!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.O.

answers from New York on

Definately no!!!!!!!!!! We are in a recession, if people want to give you something they will. Times are tough. A shower is not given for a second child, usually. Let it go. Go shopping with your mother and have her buy you stuff if she is so hot about it.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from New York on

I would register for things you really need or think are special but I would not include it in the announcement. People may search on their own to see if you have a registry or they may ask you if there is anything you need. Your mom can tell any additional family that you registered for a few things you can really use because yes, people will want to buy you things, but I think the announcement is just that - a little picture of the new guy with all the pertinent birth details.

Congratulations!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I going through the same thing right now, although baby No.2 is going to be a girl. Friends and family would like to throw a shower since I have a boy and could use some girly things. In your situation, I personally wouldn't put registry information in the announcements. I would however throw a Welcome Baby Party after the birth so everyone can meet the little guy. Most people will bring something, and if you don't need anything specific, there isn't any need for a registry.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Boise on

I don't have a problem with a shower for the 2nd baby, but I am in the same position you are - one just wasn't thrown for me. I also just wanted to celebrate the 2nd baby like we did the first, but oh well. I registered, and if someone asked we told them where we were registered, but don't include it in the announcements. That is essentially asking for gifts.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

I am all for having a "sip and see" when the baby arrives (and most people would bring a gift), but I personally think that a shower for a 2nd baby is a bit tacky. Just my opinion.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from New York on

This is always a bit tricky, because people usually think receiving an "announcement" is a bid for gifts, and it often (but not always) is. My daughter has the same dilemma, i.e., the eagerness to be sure everyone knows and to proudly announce the birth, vs. "Will they think I am asking for a gift?" I would go with my own feeling about his. Your Mom should not be "hoping for a few new things". The baby will not know the difference, and perhaps the grandmothers can each buy him a couple of new items, just for having something fresh to start out with, in spite of his already having everything he needs. The items need not be expensive, just a couple of $5 on-sale onesys for a fresh start would be enough. There will be other occasions, like his first birthday, where he will receive his own new toys, clothing, etc. I would say, as his needs are already met, just let your friends and family hear about the great, event by e-mail or phone call. Those who REALLY WANT TO SEND A GIFT will then do so, without feeling it a "requirement" as I feel a formal announcement would appear to be. Just my opinion. Note: If you, however, have been the recipient of countless cousins' and friends' "announcements" and have sent a gift to each, them over the years, then in this case, I think the announcement (gift likely to be expected) would be in order. A sticky problem, for sure. The important thing though is to just let them know, and an e-mail with photo would be super!

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A.H.

answers from New York on

Putting registry info on a birth announcement is in very bad taste. Sorry grandma! If someone wants to get you a present, they will.

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C.K.

answers from New York on

I have never heard of a baby shower for the 2nd child! If people want to send you gifts, they will! Why would you even register for a 2nd baby?

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C.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

If anyone wants to buy a gift, they will either get whatever they want or search registries for your name. Just be sure to use a really common one like Target or BRU. I don't think you should send the info with the announcement, because that does sound like you expect a gift.

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B.A.

answers from New York on

NO...it's rude and tacky to do that. If you send a birtha announceent it should be just that. Whoever wants to buy you a gift will...it would come off like you are asking and expecting gifts.

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi A.
Baby Showers are something of a tradition and the tradition is different with different families and different locations. I have never heard of having a baby shower for a 2nd baby that was born within 3 or 4 years even of the first. Most baby showers are a surprise in my family and done any different than that my mother would have said was a "gimme shower" That is not true to others and in other locations but in my family definitely so. In some places and with some people baby showers are given before and some after.

My friends gave my a baby shower with my twins after they were born and I loved it. It was a huge surprise, and everyone knew they were girls and didn't need preemie sizes.

Since mom wants a shower, why doesn't she try a "cyber-shower" with family and friends that are anxious to see you. Went to one of those also this year. It was really fun. They had the mom-to-be on the big screen, and in total shock. They had an accomplish there, who got them on line, and made cake, etc for her to enjoy with us. The mom with the youngest baby opened the gifts -- in our case it was a mom-to-be. It was loads of fun. The hostess mailed all the gifts. Most people were careful, knowing that they would be mailed. The people in the other location got to see how other showers are done. Actually as I was watching I thought it would have been fun if some of her friends etc would have arrived but no one had thought of that.
As far as putting the registry on your announcements. I think it is tacky and makes it look like you are again asking for gifts. They will come even if you say "no gifts" in my experience. The last shower invitation I got said "In lieu of gifts please make donation to_________ charity" If anyone really needs nothing what a blessing that would be to the charity of their choice. Those gifts are usually acknowledged to you by the charity.
Just my thoughts and alot of them
Sorry
God bless you and the new baby too

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

A.,
A little late to celebrate before the baby is born (unless you go into overtime? : ) Possibly a party afterwards to celebrate the little one arriving? This may be tough or it may be a simple get together to celebrate the arrival of the life of ___.

You can gently tell your mom that it isn't current fashion here in the States to celebrate a baby party for the 2nd and subsequent children unless they are more than 5 years apart etc. Other countries DO celebrate the impending birth of siblings, but generally not here.

You can put the registry info on the card; no one has to do anything, but if they would like to, now they know they can.

I too would love to celebrate my baby's coming in 8 weeks - but quite frankly, no one else is really interested! I am congratulated occasionally by someone new who didn't know, which is nice. My first was celebrated by different circles we are part of, and made to feel welcome.

Our second child, well, has received the same welcome from my Dad that the first did: You can't afford this baby. You don't have a retirement. You don't have this, that or the other thing. From the guy whose wife stretched a dollar so he could have 3 kids, I am treated like an unwed mother!

You make me want to do something simple and welcoming for my baby and just invite friends. I think I will. No food, nothing but a simple get together in the park and a few thoughts and stuff. Maybe no one will come. Maybe everyone will! Who knows. I am off to plan. I am worried enough about a VBAC.

Thank YOU for posing this question! And hey! Plan your own welcoming ceremony!
M.

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Most people done do a baby shower or gifts for the second one. Especially since it is another boy. I would not add anything in with the announcement. If people want to buy you something that is up to them. But unless there is a big age difference in the kids to the point where you really need stuff. I would just let it go. You chose to have the second why do you feel people should buy you things? I have 2 kids. A boy then a girl. I did not have a shower for the second and did not want people to buy me anything. Some close friends and family did pick up some cloths since i had no girl cloths and a new diaper bag but that was thier choice. I never once mentioned that i wanted anything. I actually told people not to get things, but if they do they do.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Birth announcements are not just for a first baby. They are a long standing tradition and not a bid for gifts. If people would want to send a gift for the new baby, they'd likely do it whether you send an announcement or not. I think people love to get birth announcements, they are cute and they are happy news in the mailbox.
I think it's fine to register for gifts for a second baby, but it's not appropriate to include registry info on a birth announcement, it's not a baby shower invite.
Good luck

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K.W.

answers from New York on

I definitely think adding registry information to your baby announcement is a little tacky, and some people may find it offensive. I think you shoudl think it through before sending out.

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J.F.

answers from Buffalo on

I agree with most other posts - i wouldn't do it.
If you put it on the announcement i would think most people would feel obligated to buy a gift even if they weren't planning to. The people who want to will get you something... but especially since you say you don't need much of anything, i would just keep it a simple announcement.
The only time i've heard of a shower for a second baby is if it has been maybe 10 years or so between children.... i think it's usually looked upon as tacky.
CONGRATS!

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