Babies... Going from 1 to 2 - University Place,WA

I hope that I don't get knocked for this. :)
I had my second son when my 1st had just turned 3. It was awful. I remember crying at 4am to my husband that I was a horrible mother and didn't deserve to have my boys. I was so tired and we went from having our "system" to having it completely destroyed by the new baby. Naps were a nightmare...ugh...It was exhausting!!! BUT...I survived!! You will too. Just take it easy..."try" to get the children on nap schedules that coencide. If your older one is napping....lay down with the younger one....take a break!! if younger one is sleeping....lay down and read with the older one. I think I finally felt like i was coming out of the "fog" at about 5-6 months!! But, that didn't stop me....I am on to my 3rd (due first week of Jan) and REALLY looking forward to it (my boys are 5 and 8)!
L.

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It's going to be hard. My kids are exactly 2 years apart and my son (the baby) is just about to turn 1...this has been a rough year. Not to say it didn't have it's perks, but 2 that close together are a mixed blessing for sure! It will be awesome...in a few years! ;) I also had moments of crying to my husband at 4 am...LOL, Laura! Your son will most likely be totally in love with the baby and those times makes it all worth it. Try and take care of yourself first. You need sleep. Yes, you need to take care of the toddler and the baby too but get as much help as you can. Try and get willing family and friends to host overnights for the toddler so you can get up with the baby and not have to worry about the older one! Make the toddler as much of a helper as he can be. At 17 months, it's kind of hard, but at least he walks! 2 in diapers doesn't suck that bad, b/c at this point you really don't know any different, so don't fret that (except for the cost of course, that's tough).

Congrats! It will be a whirlwind, but you will do it and make it work!!! :)

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I wondered that myself when I went from one to two. The one piece of advise that really stuck with me was this... If they both need you at the same time, help the oldest one out first (whenever you can). The older child is more likely to remember/realize the scenario.

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Well for me the transition from 1 to 2 kids was really easy. Although my first was a little older than yours...she was 25 months when my second daughter was born. For me I think what helped make it so easy was getting my kids on a similar schedule. Like my oldest was always an early riser like 6 in the morning! So because she woke up so early I would wake my infant up around 7:30 or 8. (she would have slept in more if i let her) that way she would go down for a morning nap around 9 or 10 and then she was ready for her afternoon nap the same time as my first daughter was at 1:00. Then I had a break from both of them every day. Also I just tried to make sure my oldest was watching a show that she liked or coloring or something so she was busy while I was nursing and not getting into trouble. Really for me it was easier to have 2 kids. Maybe it's cause your already in the mommy mode? Best of luck.

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You have had great advice, but I also wanted to add something else regarding Daddy... My kids are 16 months apart and my husband was in Iraq when the little one was born so I know that sometimes it is not possible to have Daddy's help. I don't know your situation, but I wanted to offer support in case Daddy has to work, etc. Naps are so important! Put your older one down for a nap and if he won't sleep then let him play for a little while. You need some quiet time and one on one time with the baby. Your son will still expect (and demand) the same level of attention he was getting before - my baby spent a lot of time in the swing! Also, feel free to have "lazy" days where everyone stays in their jammies all day. Stay relaxed and they will be too. It isn't as hard as everyone makes it out to be. :)

It was wonderful for us, and now at 3 and almost 2 they are best friends. Congratulations!

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Hubby NEEDS to help. 24/7. Day and night.
No if and or buts.
AND you will need rest too.
The household chores, NEEDS to be delegated... as well. DAILY. With Hubby doing it too.
NO matter if you are a SAHM or not.... that does not mean the Mom does everything.

Get adjusted, have a daily routine... NAP for both kids. And you can nap then too. Daily.

Don't feel you have to be "Super Woman." Or you will be too stressed out.

Once you have 2 kids.... the Husband even more so, has to help. With kids and household and errands.
CLEARLY talk about this, with Hubby, beforehand. You both as a "team"... delegate chores/responsibilities etc. both with the household stuff and with the 2 kids.
BOTH parents also has to spend time, quality time, with the Eldest child. Or the child will feel ignored.

It is a juggling act... but doable.
It is busy.
And will always be.
BUT if you have a daily routine... and Hubby helps as well.... it will not be as hard.

good luck,
Susan

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Congrats! My kids were 2 1/2 years apart, but honestly, I didn't think it was bad at all! As a matter of fact, I loved having more than 1 so much that I'm actually considering a 3rd! LOL There's nothing better than watching the little one smile in awe at his big sister! I don't have much advice except to keep a sense of humor and remember how fast the time will go! The days can go slowly, but the years speed by!

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Two pieces of advice that someone finally told me a little later than I wanted: Let #2 cry a bit if #1 really needs your help. #2 doesn't know any different, but 1 is used to getting his needs met. The other is to have someone watch #2 while you get 1 on 1 time with #1 for at least 30min-1hr per day.

I found that baby-wearing was so helpful. My son didn't take naps, he took cat naps (20 min.) at a time, if he were laid down. If I wore him, he was content for his 20 min. nap and for much longer when he was awake. This also freed me up to play and read to my dd.

The most challenge was getting dinner ready. I didn't like to wear baby while at the hot stove/oven. I felt it wasn't the safest way to go and dd wanted attention, too. What did help was either the bouncy chair nearby for ds and dd helped prepare some of the dinner, if possible. I would try to have her do as much as possible for 2.5.
It is harder and I did it mainly by myself with little help, even in the evenings, from hubby. He is not a hands on parent.

Good luck to you and try to enjoy each moment. The time slips by even faster with two. It does get easier and they are a joy.

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Going from 1 to 2 was not as difficult as I had anticipated. Remember, you know how to take care of an infant now. You and your spouse will fall in to the same routine that you had with the first as an infant. A second new infant is not as much as a shock as the first was. You will just incorporate baby #2 into the family. It's not easy but it is not as difficult as you might guess. The one that is still more difficult is your older one. I remember my son got into the front of the car and turned all of the lights on when my daughter was 2 weeks old. The next day the car battery was dead. That is where we got the rule "no kids in the front seat"- my daughter has never been in the front seat thanks to my son. Good luck and enjoy.

If you can have ur mom or close friend move in for first three weeks. So they can take care of household things and also help keep 17 Mo old entertained then take baby so u can nap and also have some special time each day with first kid. So they don't get jealous of baby. Dont sing same lullabies to baby number two first will hate that as they view it as their special song. Premake tons of meals. Two kids is way way more work so ask for help

Get as much help as you can! Line up your family members and friends to take turns playing with your toddler so you can spend some time bonding with the baby and catching up on sleep. I have 2 girls exactly 2 years apart. I felt a lot more sleep deprived with the second baby and also like I didn't have enough time to really recover from the birth. Stay in bed with the baby for at least a week, especially if you're going to be nursing. I think the key is to get off to a good start. Get some meals in the freezer too! We are going on 1 year old and finally I feel like I have my act together. It's been a hard year but also amazing and wonderful and I'm so in love with both my kids. Good luck and best wishes for a wonderful start to your newly expanded family!

My daughter and son are 15 months apart. My biggest piece of advice, is ask for help when you need it! I tried to do everything myself and really didn't get to enjoy baby #2 as much as I would have liked. I say the first 6 months will be crazy and wonderful all at the same time. Hang in there and try to take it all in and enjoy!

You've gotten some great advice - particularly about daddy helping and about not thinking you can do it all. You really are going to have two babies. I know your 17 month old seems big to you now, but in a year and a half you will look back at your 3 year old and 17 month old and he will seem tiny! That first year is really, really hard I think because they are both so little and still so needy (mine are 14.5 months apart). However, once we crossed the movement barrier and my little one started really walking, I've loved it. They have so much fun together and really entertain each other well. They definitely fight, but are the sweetest sisters. They are 2 and 3 and I wouldn't have done it any other way! Good luck!

Spend your last weeks with your first closely and treasure him. I have an 18 month old and a 4 month old and boy do I miss when it was just him and I and I can tell he does too. It was just so much easier....not that I don't love ds2 just as much. There is just not enough time...you have to give 50 to each one at the same time no matter how much you want to give each 100 you just cant. Baby wearing works great, do flash cards while nursing or feeding #2, prepare meals at night or in the mornings when babies are sleeping so you can spend more time with #1 instead of always having something to do when your infant is sleeping instead of playing with #1. Hope that helps.