Au Pair

K.,
i am a sigle mom and before i had my child who is now 13 i needed help to so i chose an au pair cuz first there are 2 benifits the first 1 is that he could take care of your child and number 2 :he teaches your kids a second language for free soo my daughter write now is realy good in french so now i thank my self of choosing the write disission and ur gonna thank your self to
good luck
michelle

Hi K.,

I have 3 kids as well, and have been using an au pair for the past three years (my kids are 3, 7 and 10) - and now that I have had one, I probably won't go back. I have had a live in nanny for a year prior to the au pairs (domestic) and then did day care for almost 5 years before that... I think I have tried it all!

So - overall I checked out most agencies, but settled with Cultural Care Au Pair to use. They have a 1:1 matching program that was super important to me. I adopted all of my children, and in the adoption process I learned that some agencies will "pit" adoptive families against each other, and you would get into a bidding war for a child, just like with a house. I found it horrid in adoption, and changed agencies... when it came to au pair agencies I didn't want to go through it again.

I've been pretty lucky. I have had 3 great au pairs in 3 years, and in a few weeks will welcome my 4th au pair from my home. The transition wasn't too bad, but I had my college age sister living with me in the past. I am pretty open to having someone in the home, and have found that I enjoy having young adults in the home and joining our family. Maybe it's the adoption thing, but we are open to our family having people join it... :-) I found the biggest issue with the transition is being willing to communicate. For the first month or so of an au pair at home with us, I spend a lot of time - talking, making them feel welcome, explaining my rules, setting limits, talking more, and just being an au pair.

On the positive side, I needed the help - and I have so much better time with my kids when I'm not working. I can focus on them when I'm home, instead of worrying about if the house is clean or if they have clean underwear. The au pair takes care of so much, and gives fantastic care and attention to my girls, that I will probably have one for at least another 2-3 years. Good luck to you!
L. in Seattle

K., I haven't used an au pair myself but from experiences of two friends who have (in other countries, so I can't pass on the agencies they used), I'd say be sure to check out the agencies and question the candidates carefully. Find an agency that will let you have an "out" if the au pair just doesn't click with you and your kids, maybe a test run for a certain length of time. You don't want to sign a contract for, say, a year, and find within a month that this person isn't working out. Be clear with the agency about what you expect the au pair to do and find out what the limits are -- for instance, you probably will have to give the au pair a certain amount of time off to go to class and study if she's here as a student.

One friend had all great experiences, found reliable student au pairs, and she and her kids loved the au pairs; the other had a succession of au pairs who weren't really interested in being with the kids or who complained of being "overworked" if asked to do more than take the baby out in the stroller once a day.

A key difference with nannies, and the reason for the higher price of nannies, is that (at least in the formal British system of nannying) they are trained to work with children, while au pairs usually are not specifically trained for child care work. But as the first friend found, au pairs can be a great and inexpensive solution IF you and the au pair see eye to eye on what you expect her (or him) to do and if he or she embraces truly interacting with your kids.

I have a friend who has three kids about 7, 3, and 2. She has loved having an au pair. She requests French au pairs that can speak French to her children and she is able to work a flexible schedule because the au pair is living in the home and she and her husband have a ready babysitter. She, I believe, went through the State Department. I think she had to buy a car for the au pair.

However, on the flip side, I am frequently outraged by the au pairs who live in my neighborhood. They congregate at the playground and let the kids run loose with no supervision - little kids 3 and 4 or a 7 year old supervising a toddler. They sit on the benches and chitchat, and I am appalled. I think it is very hard for a young women, even one who is lovely, smart, and "good with children," to apppreciate the difficulties and needs of child-rearing. I think being an au pair must be very challenging and lonely - living in a stragde home in a foreign land being available almost full-time for a family - it must be hard. But I htink alot of Moms would be horrified at the lack of attention their kids are getting.

I also think it must be hard for the kids to give up a relationship with an important caregiver after a years.

And then of course, there is the whole thing about having someone live in your house, which I would hate, personally!1

I know I don't have personal experience, but that's my two cents, and I think a relatively objective point of view. I think you would do better to get a nanny or hire a part-time babysitter or even get a monther's helper or start preschool so that you can be very selective over who you hire. I know my friend had a couple of phone interviews, but that doesn't take the place of interviewing someone in person and doing test-runs.

Good luck and congratulations on the new baby!

Hi K.,
I hope you are well since the birth of your 3rd baby!

I'm a Local Childcare Coordinator with Cultural Care Au Pair and would be happy to answer any questions for you!

You can also visit my website to learn more about the progam in our area: http://bkovalcik.aupairnews.com/

You're asking all the right questions - this is the start of deciding if this is the right program for you. If you are open to a cultural exchange in your home while enjoying the benefits of up to 45 hours of help a week you might find that this would work well for you and your family!

You give Cultural Care your "wish list" and our Placement Managers search for the ideal candidate for your family. Since it is required that you have a phone interview with any potential au pair, you tend to feel like you're not inviting a stranger into your home - we really encourage as much communication as possible prior to the his/her arrival. It makes for a more comfortable first meeting too! We have so many families that truly feel that their au pair is an extension of their family.

The bottom line for having an au pair live with you is really a strong foundation of communication from both the au pair and host family.

I hope I answered your question. Please feel free to contact me if you'd like to talk more about hosting an au pair!

B. Kovalcik
____@____.com
web: http://bkovalcik.aupairnews.com/

Good morning K.. I use to do in home daycare in my home for over 2 years. What would the hours be i might be able to accomadate you. S.

I hope you've already received the answer you needed, but I thought I'd respond because your story was similar to mine. My husband travels a lot and I was also home alone a lot. I found having an au pair to be a great experience for my children, but also for myself because it was good to know that there was someone else in the house in case of an emergency. Having someone new living in my house (she's not really a stranger -- you have time to get to know her before she arrives!) was not a problem for me, but you need to be flexible. I currently work for Cultural Care Au Pair, so if you still feel an au pair would work for you, I may be able to be of help. You can check out my website at http://rcreanza.aupairnews.com or you can e-mail me a ____@____.com

I love my au pair! My oldest is 2 2/3 and my youngest is 1.5.

Trick is: do not get a young au pair. We have had 3...all over 25 and they are so mature, respectful and not "needy" like the young ones.

Have you tried calling Child Care

Solutions about your childcare need?

A friend referred me to them about 3

months ago. I use them now plus

several other parents I know use their

childcare providers too. Give them a

call, they'll provide you with a

childcare provider based around your

needs only. They are awesome at what

they do. Be blessed!

Heres their info
###-###-#### or ###-###-####
They are open from 10:30 to 5
Also they have a website too
www.childcaresolutions.biz

call them

Hi K.,

We have an au pair and it has been a great experience for us. My kids are 19 months apart and we got our first au pair when my son was just 2 and my daughter was 3.5 (they are now 4 and 5.5). I work part-time from home, and prior to getting an au pair we had both a home daycare and a nanny. The women who watched our kids were great, but they could only work certain hours, so we went for the program for the flexibility factor. We needed a childcare provider who could work a more flexible schedule. In the end, the au pair route also wound up being more affordable, since were paying our nanny $13 per hour.

Having someone live in your house is actually very simple. The au pairs make a lot of friends in the area, and in their off time they are generally exploring, so it is not at all intrusive. Plus, the au pair really becomes a part of your family. It ends up feeling like you have a big sister around. Our au pair comes and goes. Some nights she eats with us, some nights we eat on our own at staggered times, and some nights she is out. Last night she got together with a bunch of au pairs in the area to go bowling!

We signed up with Cultural Care for our au pair. We have had had two au pairs - one from Romania, and now one from Mexico. She is staying a second year. The transition between the two was very seamless, I overlapped them for a few days, and there was no blip on the radar screen. We still talk to our former au pair a lot so the kids feel very much as though she is still part of their life... Not long after I became a host family, I became a local childcare coordinator for Cultural Care, so I place au pairs and support them through the process. You are welcome to contact me for more information.

Hi K.,
I've actually hosted 14 au pairs since my oldest was 1 year old and I've had great experience with them. Only one in all of those years didn't work out and that was just a personality issue. We had a nanny before that and found her very rigid with regard to the hours and responsibilities. Au Pairs are generally very smart, active and willing to be flexible which is such a huge help, especially if you are at home. Having someone live in the house is much easier than you would think if you take the time to find the right personality for your family. The applications are so thorough that you get a really good sense about them on paper and on the phone.
We chose Cultural Care because they are the largest, most professional agency with a huge number of carefully screened applicants. If you take the time to make them feel welcome, include them in your family life, set the right expectations and understand that they are young and here to experience America and travel in their time off, it can be a fantastic experience for you and your family. Choose someone who is cheerful, positive, creative and flexible and you'll have a great year and hopefully more sleep!
K. O.

K.,

We are on our 15th au pair (we had four children in 20 months - including triplets). We could not have survived without our au pairs - it is a godsend! My husband also travels a lot and we don't have any relatives in the area.

Here is an article that I wrote about my au pair experience - and how important the matching process is. Feel free to email or call me with any questions: http://www.marinmommies.com/node/1157 Our au pairs have become part of our family - and have enriched our lives in so many ways.

We used three different agencies over the years and liked Cultural Care the best (they are the largest and most professional given our experience). I helped many host families navigate the process and did it so often that I started to work for Cultural Care and I truly enjoy everyone I work with.

Good luck with the decision. Remember - it's all in getting the right match for your family.

D. Schwarz

hi K., I would be happy to talk to you about hosting an au pair. I work for an au pair agency. I have over 2 years of experience as a childcare solutions expert. I have assisted families across the DC area find the right au pair based on their family dynamics (multiples, special needs, single parent, military, etc.)http://eboa.aupairnews.com/

Best regards,
B. B.