At What Age Should You Stop Letting Your Son See You Naked?

Updated on July 26, 2011
D.J. asks from Atlanta, GA
38 answers

Ok ladies..I have a friend who changes her clothes and walks around naked in front of her 5 yr. old son. When I said somthing to her about it, her response was, "So what, he's been seeing me naked all of his life." Which is true. But at what age should you stop letting your son see you naked? To those of you that have sons, what age did you start covering up?

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

You should stop when it's uncomfortable for either one of you. Many families remain comfortable being around each other naked no matter their ages.

My grandson is 8 and I, and his mother, still dress/undress in front of him. He pays no attention.

12 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Tampa on

I'd stop when I could see my son getting uncomfortable. Nudity in normal situations shouldn't be embarrassing or shameful.

5 moms found this helpful

K.*.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ditto to Marda about when it starts becoming uncomfortable. My son is 6 1/2 and commenting SARCASTICALLY about what he sees, ie, droopy boobs, hair on privates, need I say more :) LOL! When I hear him coming in my room when getting dressed, I run for the closet!

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

We have no issues with being naked in our home. We all came out naked and we feel that there is NO shame in our bodies. I walk around naked in the house freely, as does my children. I don't have a problem with it. If and or when my sons feel uncomfortable, I will definitely stop. But if its not an issue, I won't make it one. Now me on the other hand, will most likely stop letting them see me naked when they are at puberty---I don't know. I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

M

8 moms found this helpful
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V.S.

answers from Harrisburg on

It depends, is her son bothered by it?

I don't walk around naked but my kids occasionally walk into the bedroom while I am changing or if they need me while I'm showering. My oldest son is 8 and he has walked in on me and acts uncomfortable so I step back behind my closet door and tell him to knock when the door is closed. He is also now shy about himself being naked which started shortly after he turned 7.

Growing up my mom would walk from the bathroom to her room naked all the time and she would usually stop to chat to us if she was inclined. My siblings never seemed bothered by it. I certainly never really cared, her body her choice. Oh I guess I should add my dad never did that.

To each their own I say!

6 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Shreveport on

I agree with Marda. It is all a comfort thing. In our house we have 10 and 15 yr old boys. We are all very comfortable with changing clothes around each other. Now if I ask the boys for a few minutes alone they wont bother me but if I forget well I can expect to get walked in on no matter what I'm doing. LOL
I had planned that when the boys showed they weren't comfortable they would stop walking in on me or start asking but to date neither have. They have never made any comments about any sagging parts or hair. Granted I have talked to from an early age that adult bodies are different and also men and women are different.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I have 2 boys, ages 2 and 4. I thought for sure that I would have stopped letting my oldest see me naked by now. But, I'm home alone with them for 12 hours a day or more, and it's more convenient just to not make a big deal out of it. Especially in the summer, when we are swimming nearly every day. I do try for privacy, but if they walk in then I'll answer their questions, then gently shoo them out with a "grown-ups like privacy when getting dressesd.". I think my husband is more embarrassed about being seen naked than I am, mostly because my oldest son always notices and comments on the differences in size of their anatomy. :-)

5 moms found this helpful
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B.L.

answers from Boston on

My son is turning 10 this summer, and although he's not really hitting puberty yet, he is beginning Middle School in the fall, which means he really is entering the world of adolescence, and I'm going to start being more careful about him seeing me naked. I'm not going to make a big deal about it if he does, but I'm going to be conscious of it. OTOH, he sees my breasts all the time, and will continue to for about another 6 months because I am still nursing my youngest. He's seen me nursing babies/toddlers all his life, as I've been continuously either nursing, pregnant, or both since he was born lol. (3 kids)

I'm pretty laid back about nudity around the house. I think bodies are beautiful and natural, and that it's really not a big deal. I can totally see people not being as comfortable about it, depending on how one was raised and how comfortable you are with bodies.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My son is 4 almost 5.
He sees us naked. Me and my Husband.
It is just during the course of normal things... changing clothes, using the bathroom, showering etc.
It is just normal, to him.
Not a big deal.
He asks why we have hair there, we say when you are grown up you will too.
He knows body parts.
No biggie.

Maybe when he is of an age that he tells us, then of course we will not do that. And when he is an older boy/pre-teen/teen.

I don't go out of my way to cover up. When my son is around.
Nor do I act all 'weird' when I am changing clothes and he is around.
No biggie.

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J.S.

answers from Albany on

my son is 3.5, and i cover up slightly in front of him now. only because he tells other people "i saw my mommys gina today" or he says things to people about my boobs, or if i wear a thong, he thinks he should tell the world. so i just make sure i have undies on in front of him all the time and a bra....i dont mind that because veryone has them..some are just bigger and better then mine, good luck with this friend of yours!!!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

In my family, nudity is no biggie. I've seen my parents and grandparents and siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles all naked, and still periodically do, and I'm in my 30's. ((I've also seen countless strangers of all walks of life naked; byproduct of growing up in Japan... women and men so ancient and shown so much *reverence*, mean and women in their prime, lithe teens... it's all just skin)).

My family is European, and I grew up in Japan. To me... I've never gotten the american idea that nudity = sex... *especially* with children. Eeew. Gross.

My son's 9.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

My son is 6 1/2 and occasionally sees me naked . I don't make a big deal out of it , except that he should knock before coming in the room. He dosen't make a big deal out of it either.

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H.P.

answers from New York on

I really think it is about comfort level, not only with naked bodies but also with your willingness to discuss things. My son just turned 4. I choose to shower, use the bathroom and dress in privacy, however if he comes in while I am doing any of these things it is no big deal. He doesnt react nor do I.

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B.P.

answers from New York on

I agree with the posters who said it really depends on the family. My son is 3 now and I try to be modest around him because I take him into public restrooms and I also use the bathroom. The other day he poked my behind and said "Mommy, you have a big, big tushy". For the record, it is not THAT big, ok? lol. Then last night he wasn't feeling well so I took a bath with him and it was beautiful and calming. He only started laughing at me when I got out and he saw my rear end. I wouldn't walk around naked but then again, I am not going to go out of my way to be completely covered up until it gets really wierd.

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A.S.

answers from Norfolk on

I personally stopped having showers with my son at the age of four & stopped letting him see me naked at all (changing clothes) at the age of five. I have explained to him about why our bodies are different & how its important to keep our p****** p**** private. I want to start teaching him about not allowing others to "watch" him or touch him naked (or p****** p**** at all) & vice versa. He knows that doctors will for check ups but only with mom/dad there. This issue ofcourse has no absolutes, its not all black & white but those gray areas will be explained as he gets older & is better able to understand (ie. locker rooms). I don't over react about naked bodies, his/mine/anyone elses, I just inform/educate/protect. The innocence/trusting nature of kids makes them way to easy a target for pedophiles so teaching my kids about these boundaries in this way is important to me.

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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

my boy will be 5 at the end of this month. i still shower and stuff with him. he doesn't even realize. he showers with his 7yo sister too. i agree that when it becomes uncomfortable with him or me, i'll stop. my kids have NEVER seen my husband naked. he would freak! my kids are very free with their nakedness so they probably assume everyone else is too. :)

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

When your son becomes uncomfortable with it, which is commonly sometime after 7 or 8. Five years old is fine, in my opinion.

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A.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I say whenever the child or parent starts feeling uncomfortable about it.

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L.E.

answers from Miami on

Growing up my mother was old fashion & she would always turn her back when removing her bra. I can never recall seeing her naked. Now me on the other hand is a different story.
My oldest is 10. I think about the age of 5 I stopped letting him see me naked. Although now I still will walk around in my underwear & bra when getting dressed I don't feel uncomfortable with that, neither does he or he would say something. My 3 yr old sees me naked when the older one is not around & he sometimes likes to be in the shower when I take a shower and play with his toys. My husband is very modest. He does not like to be seen naked.
But in this day & age that we live in I make it a point to teach my kids whats not ok when it comes to their bodies in dealing with anyone making them feel uncomfortable .

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 4 sees me change; occasionally when time is crunched we'll use the big shower together. I'm nonchalant about my body and he is also. There's no sexual connotation, and if he's curious about what something is, he asks. I'll play it by ear, but I'm guessing around 5-6 I'll cut way back. 4 is still young to me - I think they're a lot more self sufficient and a bit more mature at 5.

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R.T.

answers from Honolulu on

When my son turned 10 yrs because at that age he was already heading into his pubity stage.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Some people never stop. Different families have different ideas about nudity. Nudity is only sexual if you make it so! I have definitely tried to limit or end most of my 5 year old son's times seeing me naked, but he still walks inmy bathroom when I'm getting ready sometimes or something. I also abhor robes and never wear one, but it's no biggie. He never seems bothered by it. I'm sure when it starts bothering him, he'll be a bit more cautious about barreling in!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

It should stop when it becomes uncomfortable for either mother or child. My grandson, at 5.5, is still completely comfortable being naked in front of his mom, dad, or grandparents. It's just not a big deal. And his mom is casual about being naked in front of him. He's just as casual. No staring, no blushing, no awkward comments or questions.

But at some point, he may become a bit awkward about it. Many kids reach a point where embarassment or a need for greater privacy sets in. At which point, the exposure will stop.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't see anything wrong with nakedness. My daughter (9) and I are naked around each other a lot. We also live in a one-bedroom and one (small) bathroom condo, so there's not a lot of "alone time". We sometimes shower together. I have told her that if she ever wants privacy, she should just say so and I would respect that. She's asked for privacy two times.

My mother was naked any time she felt like it. I had two older brothers. They were used to it. She would clean the house naked! Now, so do I...

Violence is an issue, nudity is not...

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C.W.

answers from Phoenix on

MY youngest is 4. I try not to let him see me but he likes to barge in when im taking a shower. I have told him this is not nice and he shouldnt do that, the whole if the door is closed you knock. my oldest son is 13 i think he was 6. my daughter has never seen my husband in the nude. and i dont think my oldest has either. the younger one has due to showering with daddy. i stopped showering with him at 3.

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K.J.

answers from Chicago on

I stopped when my then 3 yr old asked me if he could see my "hole." He (now 4.5) still occassionally gets a glimpse if I am dressing & one of them needs me urgently, but I try to keep a lightweight robe close at hand for such instances.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I asked my Parents as Teacher person this a long time ago and she said the "recommended age" is 4. At the time I though 4 of course...I'm sure we'll be covering up by the time she's 4...well, not exactly! ;) My daughter is almost 4 and she sees both of us naked all the time. I think that once someone feels uncomfortable about it, is the time to stop. If you are uncomfortable being naked in front of your son then you made the right choice to stop, but I think it will end for them probably pretty soon.

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M.B.

answers from Athens on

Can't wait to see the answers to this one...
I think this question can go either way for daughters and daddy's also.
My husband and I have always walked around in our bra, panties and underwear as long as I can remember. Naked? I try to limit my nakedness to our private bedroom unless I need something from the utility room I may skip through the kitchen if I think I won't get caught? If I hear someone coming, I announce "I'm naked" and they decide if they are bothered with seeing me so...and turn in the other direction or wait until I'm back in my room. I change clothes with the door to our bedroom open and handle that situation the same. I don't necessarily make a big 'to do' about being seen. I feel that each individual family has to handle this in their own home. This son may grow up and have a healthy respect for nakedness, and not be so curious to go looking elsewhere for a glimpse of a female body? My bet would be, when he realizes or becomes uncomfortable he will let his mom know by his actions or words, and that is between the two of them or the members of their household. The more a parent makes a big deal out of seeing or not seeing the body, the more curious a child will be, I suggest using these circumstances as teachable moments and explain how wonderfully God made us and why we are created different. Of course, on age appropriate levels. These lessons go along with morals and every family has their own, but the facts are facts and that is what should be taught combined with your own family's morals.

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K.G.

answers from Macon on

My boys are 7 years apart. The oldest saw me nursing his brother and was fine with it. They both bathed or showed with me for the first 3 years. After that they took most all of their baths alone or both boys together. More because they needed to learn how to bathe themselves not because one of us was uncomfortable.
I don't parade around undressed...the least amount of clothing is my swimsuit or sleepwear. My boys ocassionally wander around in boxers as does their dad.
In that light, we have taught our boys 'personal time' and they are to respect closed doors with knocking. My husband and I also respect their closed doors.

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T.O.

answers from San Francisco on

This is so funny we were just talking about it with my husband I told him when our son turns 3 that's when he'll top seeing me naked.. he's almost 7 months

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J.A.

answers from Denver on

Well I have 9, and 3 year old sons. Also a 6 year old daughter. I still shower with my 3 y/o. My 9 y/o still sees me naked on occasion, but we aren't real shy about it around here. I don't go out of my way to run and cover up if he happens to walk into the room while I am changing. I don't think it's a big deal. Total personal prefference.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

hmmm, I have a friend (50yo!) who is comfortable enough to stand completely naked in front of her adult daughters....while roaming the kitchen.

The daughters HATE it! The older one swears that she's a counselor/child advocate based on her mother's behavior.

No doubt.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

It isn't all about the son being comfortable, it is about the mom, too (but I'd assume mom would stop if she did feel uncomfortable).

I don't feel comfortable being naked around my 4 girls (3, 4, 6, 7). Only when they were infants I did-and I was only naked for short times (getting changed, out of the shower). I'm not ashamed, I just don't find it necessary to walk around naked. I say, what's the point? If I lived alone with closed windows, I still wouldn't walk around naked (doesn't have ANYTHING to do with shame or no shame or embarrassment!)... only for my husband do I, because of course, he likes it!

My husband told me about how he felt about naked women in general when he was 5... MUCH closer to what you'd think a 15 year old boy would think- I was shocked! very shocked. Apparently you don't need to go through puberty to feel those things...

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S.L.

answers from Savannah on

I have 2 boys and we are fairly private people. hubby might wander in undies at night on occassion but not very often. we change in front of each other but not in front of the children. we have taught them to shower/bathe seperately and not wander around naked. if you go to the bathroom, then shut the door. it's not that we are ashamed of our bodies, just modest enough to know that you don't walk around with your body on display. p****** p**** are called private for a reason.

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't have sons, but now a grandson. He's only 2 and I haven't worried about it. But he rarely sees me change and because of my daycare boys, I try and make sure no one ever sees anything. If I need to change my shirt real fast and I have boys laying on an air mattress and someone else is in the bathroom, then I turn my back and do it fast.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I'll let you know when we finally get there. My boys are 10 & 7 and I still change in front of them when need be. I don't go parading around nude nor do I go out of the way to make sure I'm changing in front of them or anything but if they're in the room and I'm changing oh well. Nudity has never been made a big deal around our house. You have to get naked to change your clothes. Big deal.
Never once have I felt uncomfortable. They have never done or said anything inappropriate. They don't stare or oogle. I mean..really..it's just Mom changing her clothes...whatever..move on.

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V.T.

answers from Atlanta on

When my son turned 5 I started closing the door when I shower. When they bang on the door (he and my 2 yr old daughter) I just say "mommy needs privacy!" My daughter I'm not worried about but they are attached at the hip. I think I had read somewhere that preschool age was the time to start covering up a bit. I think their brains and other things! start to switch on and become curious around this time. He still walks in when I'm going potty but I just try to be discreet. And I do try to not make a big deal of it although the other day he just barged right in the door when I was totally naked stepping out of the shower and I'll admit I freaked a little. I think you could suggest to her that she could slowly begin to adjust a little so that he doesn't even notice that he's not seeing her that way anymore. I do think it's better for their development not to see mom naked at this age. Just to confirm my husband said he saw naked pictures when he was 6 and started noticing women then. You just don't want them thinking about this so early. And just an endnote: my son LOVES to be naked and will run around the house naked as a jaybird!! I guess we'll let that continue until my 2 yr old daughter is 4 or 5 - she totally doesn't care and neither do I.

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