At What Age Should My Child Be Able to Wipe?

Updated on July 16, 2008
J.F. asks from Plano, TX
18 answers

My son has potty trained for well over a year, but i haven't pushed him to be able to wipe himself yet. he justed turned 4 and it just seems like a mess waiting to happen. any advice????

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for your input and encouragement. We've begun first with me wiping him once, then I show him how to fold the t.p. and let him try by himself. He isn't independent yet, but he's much better (better coordination) now than he was about 5 months ago. Amazing how a few months can change things for these little ones:)

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B.P.

answers from Amarillo on

Hi J.,
The sooner the better even if it is messey a few times. My grandson started school at age five, his first time to potty he came back in the class room, pants down around his knees and holding a wad of toilet tissue. He ask his teacher "Will someone please wipe my butt?"
He is 18 now and still gets teased. Needless to say we did not teach him soon enough. B.

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

My 4 year old still doesn't wipe himself, and my 10 year old couldn't until he was about 5. My 4 year old is starting preschool this fall, and I'm a little concerned, however my 10 year old never, ever at any age pooped at school (still doesn't). He just got in the habit of waiting until he got home. I think my youngest will be the same way. They like familiar territory. I am going to start working with him now, though. I don't think he'll have it mastered by the fall, but at least he'll be able to tackle it somewhat by himself if he needs to.

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

He should have it mastered before kindergarten :-). Totally independent toileting is expected in school.

Seems like my daughter started doing that independently around the time she turned 4. Might want to show him the "technique" and let him practice when there'e no poop. Maybe keep those flushable wipes in stock for a while. Also is worth a package or two of the tissue with the little puppy footprints on it. Maybe Cottonelle makes it? We just had to go through one package before my daughter was in the habit of using the right about of tissue. Otherwise, they'll unroll several yards of paper and clog the potty...

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E.L.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 3 1/2 year old son that is completely independent in the bathroom (unless he is sick if ya know what I mean)

I have taught him to wipe and look to see if anything is there. He continues that with small amounts of TP until he sees clean paper then uses a flushable wipe for good measure.

This system has worked for us and we have never has a “too much” paper issue as I have explained the potential of the potty backing up.

Good Luck!
E.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

From what I've read online, children don't do a thorough wiping job until after 5 years old, but they should still be encouraged to do it on their own. My daughter turns four in a couple of weeks and had to be potty trained before entering preschool last year, so she was wiping on her own before she turned three. I supervise and instruct on proper wiping techniques, and occasionally will have to help with wiping, but for the most part, she does it herself. Ocacsionally she'll say "I had an accident!" but it turns out she just didn't wipe thoroughly and she feels the drips. I think this has helped her to understand that she has to be more thorough when she wipes.

Good luck!

S.

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T.C.

answers from Tyler on

LOL...just brought back memories for me...my son, now 17, was the same way until he was about 9!! he would start off with a soft "somebody come wipe my butt...get louder SOMMMEE BBOOODDDYYYY!!! COME WIPE MY BUTT!!!"....hang in there it will get better...the training...the hardest years are yet to come.....tc

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is 4 and she just started LEARNING to wipe after #2 in the potty.

I wipe her first and then have her wipe herself until she is clean. Once she is done, I check her and thats it!

Oh and first I have her wipe her behind until it is clean, then w/a new piece of paper have her clean her front. Last have her wash her hands! I'm a germ freak ha hae
Good luck,

Eliyah

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

My 5 1/2 yr old has been potty trained since 3 but I still check on him and assist now and then. He uses like the entire roll of paper! :)
He will need help getting it down and washing his hands very well after each potty time. I keep handy some baby wipes or toddler wipes for extra cleaning. He is doing a pretty good job but like I said, I still check on him once and a while and he is big enough to tell me that he doesn't feel real clean and might need some help.
I think boys before the age of ten are nasty critters when it comes to keeping clean anyway. hee hee
Have fun! C.

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

At about 4 my kiddos were asked to try and I would check, but by the magical age of 5 they were on their own. I would make sure I told them everytime I helped that "don't forget when you are 5 you get to do it all by yourself!" And it worked so well that on their birthdays they were totally independent! Now I am wondering if I could just move the age up a little bit for my last one that is potty training!

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T.B.

answers from Dallas on

my son is 5 and we still have wiping issues.

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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

This just made me think of my younger brother. He used to sit on the toilet and yell "I'M THROUGH!" He did that until he was 5.
With my own kids, I've noticed that boys do not have the same ideas about clean as the girls. Nevertheless, the best way to learn is practice. He'll probably need some periodic inspection, but let him do it himself.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

My five year old son can not wipe himself completely. He does it, then I go behind.

My 11 year old daughter was wiping herself at six - we still had marks in underwear until 8 though.

S.

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

My 5 and 1/2 year old boy has been potty trained since 4 but we just got him to wipe him self this week... this sounds terrible but he is very strong willed and just refused to even try so I just spent a couple of days sitting outside the bathroom telling him to take the wipe and (of course I practiced with him a few times before I expected him to try it alone) wipe until it was clean then I would check for him. after a few times of me refusing to wipe him, he finally tried it and now he is happy that he can do it himself. he would sit on the toilett for about 30 minutes each time though before he realized I really was not going to do it for him. then he would try and now he is doing great. took about 4 days total to get him doing it alone. I made a big deal out of it each time he did it so he would feel proud!

HTH
A. J

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

I don't think it's so much a should as when the child feels they don't need mom's help. My older son was 3, but my younger son was 5. I also found that using wipes (either the flushable or baby wipes that go in a special covered trash can) helped out. I think the issue with my 2nd son is he was one of those kids that likes to be very clean and thorough, thus the normal TP just didn't do it for him.

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T.L.

answers from Dallas on

I'm starting to teach my youngest who is 5 and about to enter kindergarten. My others seemed to learn before him and I think I was holding off because he's "my baby". I have a little over a month to get him to do it and he doesn't like it at all. I still have him to call me and I watch him do it. I also keep telling him that he'll have to do it if/when he goes #2 at school.

C.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hey J.. I have a 3 year old daughter. Who is potty trained. I just tell her to use a little bit of toilet paper and to keep wipeing until there isnt anything on the paper. It's going to take a little bit of them doing it until they get the hang of it. My daughter also uses flushable wipes. It may seem like they arent doing it right but they got to learn becaue we arent goint to be in school with them helping them to wipe. Good luck and just encourage them and tell them that they can do it. Best of luck.

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

Both my boys have been wiping themselves since right before they turned 4. My oldest, now 6, usually does a pretty good job. I've found that using the flushable wipes after using 4 sheets of regular tp as many times as it takes to be clean usually ensures less "track marks." Boys are pretty nasty little things so always be sure to ask them and make sure they've wiped after using it.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Glad you asked this question as my 4 year old is about to start mother's day out and doesn't know how to wipe. I got some good ideas as I'm sure you did. Good luck!!

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