24 answers

At What Age Do You Expect Your Children to Clean Their Rooms??

Hello Mama's! (and possibly Papa's)!
I have a 6 and 7 yr old - that I expect to clean their rooms.. I do the mopping and moving of furniture and stuff like that but I expect them to make their bed and put their dirty clothes in the hamper and clean up after themselves.. ... ... well, in conversation with other ladies- I was suprised to see that some Mom's (with kids 2yrs or more older than mine) still clean their kids rooms??
** I have and Do clean my kids room but I expect them to pull their own weight- particularly when they throw garbage on their floors and toss their clothes on the floor and toys etc.. I do laundry and they put away their socks (which i pair) and their folded undies and Pj's**
I've noticed that these Mama's also have children who were 'late' (in my book) when it comes to Potty training (mine were both potty trained before 2) and are those kids that still throw temper tantrums wayyy after toddler age..
What age do you ladies(gents) expect the kids to have responsibilities and what are your limits??

((( PS: I am a FT Working mom but I do everything else in the house-- cook, clean and designated driver to sports/dance/birthday parties.. I still beleive in a warm cooked meal at night and more outside play than tv !!
& I don't think the Mom's ages are an issue- actually, Im 30-- the youngest mom and I (guess) the most traditional?? Our parents always gave us responsibilities and kept us busy in sports or dance so we were 'good' kids and didnt really get into trouble...
??? )))

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

First: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all the Mom's who has Positive Comments!!
I am not sure why Mama's are getting Offended or Defensive-- words are words and the way you read them is not how i say them..
To Clarify-- the moms that I know that had children potty trained after 2 year's old are very 'relaxed' when it comes to disciplining and just in comparison to my style-- this is totally a personal observation from my group of women..
I come from a generation of working moms- not like my mom who stayed at home-- so i took her advise when it came to pretty much everything.. potty training, discipline etc.. but she passed away and now certain questions come up (like the one I asked) -- its not a debate over who is the 'perfect mom'- i am far from it but I do my best
I just noticed that times are very different from when I grew up -- and I dont put pressure on my kids.. i treat them like the little people they are. I took them to the potty with me or my (ex) hub did with our son.. . it was not too hard for us thankfully and VERY cost effective vs diapers and pull ups and all that good stuff
Thanks for your insight !!!!

Featured Answers

My son's 8.
Potty trained at apx 3.5.
ADHD-c kiddo.
I had him when I was 23
Here's his chore list since he was 5 (although he helped a ton previous to that, it wasn't codified).

(Cut and paste... so "my" equals what he's reading on his chart, aka 'his'. I make brunch at 10, but he's expected to make his own breakfast after waking up)

Daily:

Breakfast
Dishes (B, L, D, & snacks)
Shower & Brush Teeth
Make Bed
Pick up Toys (except 2)
Recycling
School
Play
Help with Projects
Help w/ Dinner

Weekly:

Wash My Sheets
Wash & Put Away My Clothes
Clean Room
Pick a chore x 1 (Like mop the floors, yard work, clean up after dog, windex, etc.)
_____________________

The one thing I've learned parenting is that what is true for MY son in no way translates to OTHER people's children. I can share what my life/ struggles/ victories... but that's all they are. People and families are complex systems, and no two are the same. What works for one may be the worst thing in the world for another. And vice versa. It translates as well to individual kids in the same family. One kid may need x, but another need y. There's no guaranteed "way" to do anything.

4 moms found this helpful

My kids are 6, 5 and 3 and I expect them to put dirty clothes in hamper, shoes in baskets and clean up their toys. My 6 year old make his own bed and the 5 year old helps me with hers. They also help unload the dishwasher, washer and dryer and fold towels and sort clothes from the dryer. I am 29 and a working at home mom.

1 mom found this helpful

my daughter is 4 and is required to pick up all of her toys and make her bed to the best of her ability (she never gets in trouble if it's not perfect and she likes helping me to straighten it the rest of the way). She's been picking her own toys up since she was 2 and helping me with the bed for the last 6 months or so. (I'm 30 if that makes a difference)

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

First, I'm feeling generous here and giving you a warning... The way you're coming off is condesending. Specifically with mom's that work outside the home and don't have kids that are potty trained by age 2... MOST kids are NOT potty trained before the age of 4. You will likely get a nice eyeful of words that aren't so nice... Directed at you.

To answer the initial question... My son is not yet 3. He picks up his toys and will 'help' me do laundry. He'll sit on the dryer and throw any clothes I hand to him into the washing machine, put the soap in (measured by me) and close the lid. He likes to help me wipe the cabinets and tables down in the kitchen too. I give him a clean sponge with just a little bit of water and a dot of Method dish soap and let him have at whatever he wants to wipe down while I do my own thing right next to him.

My daughter is 8. She's expected to clean her room and help straighten up the play room which is in between her room and her brother's room. He helps pick up that stuff too. She'll do the vacuuming in her room and when I'm done folding the laundry, she puts her own away.

9 moms found this helpful

As far as the potty training, to each their own, but I hope you know that nobody is handing out medals. So, if you got yours to go by 2 years old then good for you I suppose. I just hope you're not one of those people that made yourself crazy and stressed out their poor baby over the potty goal.

5 moms found this helpful

My son's 8.
Potty trained at apx 3.5.
ADHD-c kiddo.
I had him when I was 23
Here's his chore list since he was 5 (although he helped a ton previous to that, it wasn't codified).

(Cut and paste... so "my" equals what he's reading on his chart, aka 'his'. I make brunch at 10, but he's expected to make his own breakfast after waking up)

Daily:

Breakfast
Dishes (B, L, D, & snacks)
Shower & Brush Teeth
Make Bed
Pick up Toys (except 2)
Recycling
School
Play
Help with Projects
Help w/ Dinner

Weekly:

Wash My Sheets
Wash & Put Away My Clothes
Clean Room
Pick a chore x 1 (Like mop the floors, yard work, clean up after dog, windex, etc.)
_____________________

The one thing I've learned parenting is that what is true for MY son in no way translates to OTHER people's children. I can share what my life/ struggles/ victories... but that's all they are. People and families are complex systems, and no two are the same. What works for one may be the worst thing in the world for another. And vice versa. It translates as well to individual kids in the same family. One kid may need x, but another need y. There's no guaranteed "way" to do anything.

4 moms found this helpful

My 5 year old will clean her room when asked but I do not expect her to keep her room clean, her bed made, etc. I expect her to clean up and straighten up when I ask it of her. I usually have them clean their room before bed so that it stays clean for longer but if it is cleaned during the day I don't get too upset if it is messed up again by dinner. I also do not expect all the toys and clothes to be put back in the right spots. My daughter knows that dirty clothes go in the hamper and toys in the toy box but if a stray sock is found in other parts of the room I don't fret too much. The fact that she is consiously cleaning up and making an effort is good enough for me.

3 moms found this helpful

They moved out without ever learning. :(

2 moms found this helpful

I was young when I had my kids, too. I also work FT outside the home and carry all the same responsibilities you do. My kids were both potty trained by 3-ish, though for the life of me I cannot understand what bearing you think that has on whether or not a kid should be held responsible for cleaning their rooms...?

My kids are currently 10 & just about 12 years old. They are responsible for numerous chores throughout the inside & outside of the house to include, but not limited to: emptying & reloading the dishwasher, feeding the cat, changing the catbox litter, watering all the outside plants, taking out the trash & recycling, sweeping the downstairs floors, pulling weeds. They do not receive allowance, these are their responsibilities. Their rooms I don't go crazy about because I don't have to live in them. I have them strip their beds so I can wash their sheets, but once cleaned, dried & folded I hand them back so they can make their own beds. I handle all of the laundry in the house, but I do not put clothes away once they've been folded. I pass them out to everyone & what you do with them after that is on you.

IDK, I agree with just about everything you said in your post, but your wording of it really made my hackles rise.

2 moms found this helpful

My 5 and 13 year old both did theirs today. My five year old was very creative with the things he set on his bed after he made it. It was very cute how he arranged all of his little pillows along the head board. My 5 year old loves to help with any chores. He sometimes begs me for something to do.

1 mom found this helpful

My DD turned 5 in April & she cleans her room, playroom, and the living room up if she messes it up. I still do deep cleaning like dusting, vacuuming, & mopping, but I REFUSE to clean up a perfectly capable 5 year old's daily, never ending mess.

Ugh, I can't stand how spoiled kids are nowadays. They are so babied, coddled, and catered to, and these parents wonder why their kids are out of control & disrespectful.

1 mom found this helpful

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