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At What Age Did Your Child First Have a Sleepover

At what age did your child first have a sleepover

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Thanks for all of the answers. The advice was that the age for a sleepover depends on your child's temperament and emotional readiness. most people recommended after age 5 for sleepovers with non family members and the average seemed to be around 8 years old. The other key piece of advice was to make sure that you know the parenting style of the other parents well.

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Do cousins count?
In that case, they were having sleepovers very, very young.
Both of my children, a girl and a boy, had sleepovers with friends either at my house or at the friend's house in kindergarten. I knew the parents well and we lived close by just in case one of the kids changed their minds and wanted to be home or something. We never had any problems, but it depends on the kids. My daughter had friends that we didn't invite to stay the night because they were either unruly or were crying 10 minutes after their parents left even for a birthday party. It depends on when the kids are ready for it.

Really young. 3 or 4? My kids have had sleepovers practically every weekend their whole lives. Do whatever you are comfortable with.

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I must be a "bad mom" because my dd has slept over friends' houses since she was maybe about 2 years old. She does fine. We don't have bio family nearby so our friends are our family. Of course, it was with people we know well and trust.

BTW, probably 99% of people who are child molesters are family members and are not on any Megan's list.

2 moms found this helpful

I think it was around 9. They had fun, and I was very clear on them getting some decent sleep so they weren't so wiped out the next day.

My six year old daughter just had a sleepover a few months ago for a girl in her first grade's class. There was a total of 7 girls and I think they all did well except for one. It is really up to your daughter and if she can handle it. My 6 year old has an older sister whoe is 8(third grade) and has gotten to do it before so she was so excited to be able to do it herself. Ask your daughter and see if there is any hesitency in her voice. All else fails have her go and tell the parents to call you before they all go to bed and you can come and pick her up if she still wants to come home.

Good Luck!

I have two daughters (5 and 8) and they both have spent the night with (mom-selected) friends since they were 5 years old. Of course, I was very close friends with their friend's parents. Whenever my girls felt like they were ready and they wanted to stay with their friends, they were allowed. They also knew to follow the other house rules, especially on bedtimes. I also let them stay before they were invited to slumber parties because slumber parties can be overwhelming with lots of girlfriends.

Do cousins count?
In that case, they were having sleepovers very, very young.
Both of my children, a girl and a boy, had sleepovers with friends either at my house or at the friend's house in kindergarten. I knew the parents well and we lived close by just in case one of the kids changed their minds and wanted to be home or something. We never had any problems, but it depends on the kids. My daughter had friends that we didn't invite to stay the night because they were either unruly or were crying 10 minutes after their parents left even for a birthday party. It depends on when the kids are ready for it.

For sleepovers with freinds, maturity of both children need to be considered. My 8 yr old son can sleep over places or have a child here, but he cannot have the kid behind us here(who is 6 months younger)because that child is emotionally not ready or mature enough.

Know the parents and their parenting style WELL before you have sleepovers.

My oldest daughter had her first sleepover party when she was turning 8 and we had a bunch of girls overnight. It was OK, but I remember one girl got homesick and cried and we had to call her parents in the middle of the night.

Other than a birthday party, I think my girls were more like 10 years old before they did sleepovers. Generally I was more willing to have kids come over my house, rather than allow my kids to go to other's homes. The only way I let them sleep elsewhere is if I know the family well.

I think it is up to you and how well you think your child can handle it. It is also important to find out how the other child does with sleeping over and if its the first time, make sure to have good contact info for the parents so you can reach them if the child needs them.

Val

We've been approached for sleepovers but haven't had any, unless family/cousins count (I'm not sure they do). We also have spent the night as a family at a friend's family home. Not sure that counts either.

After hearing that sleepovers should begin around age 3 or 4, I asked my favorite veteran mom for guidance and her answer was "NO NO NO NO NO. Not until she's NINE."

I'm happy for my kid to spend the night with family. After all, ;) I know those people pretty well. And we enjoy the overnights with friends in our home or theirs. But I don't think either of those are considered typical sleepovers.

I can't exactly pinpoint why, but, I agree that all non-family sleepovers can definitely wait until age nine.

The choice is definitely yours. If you feel comfortable with the sleepover host, your child probably does, too. And if you don't feel comfortable, whether with the host or with the idea of leaving your child in someone else's care overnight, don't be pressured into it. It's your decision, mama!

Hi

I'd like to offer my advice. I have a 20 year old and 15 year old. I was lucky to live on a street with a lot of kids and we all started when the kids were like 7 or so taking turns having the kids over. Since we were all on the same street, we could just take a child home if they got scared. By about 9 or 10, all the kids were about ready to sleep anywhere.

So, if you have friends close, I'd start there and see what happens. I hope your kids do well!

Hi! The first time my son had a sleep over with friends was when he was 7. With family, sooner :-)

My kids stayed with family (ie: the in laws, my parents) pretty early on. However, with friends, I think it totally depends on the child and who they want a sleepover with. I would say knowing the family is huge. I wouldn't send my kids to a home in which I knew nothing about the family. You can never be too careful these days.

My daughter is extremely independent and social. So she had her first sleepover with a friend at age five - the friend is a daughter of one of my husband's best friends from High school, so needless to say we know them very well - I'd call them family friends. With her school friends she was in first grade and again it was family we know well and the little girl is her best friend now.

For my son, he has yet to have a sleepover and is turning 6 this week. He is much more of a homebody, likes his sleep and to do his own thing. He just started asking for a sleepover about a month ago. As it turns out he was invited to his first one this week. Although it's a school friend, we've known the family for five years because the family's older son is in the same class as my daughter who is now in 3rd grade. I know he'll be in a safe envirnment and I think he needs to take this step of independence. If by some chance he calls and wants to come home, so be it and I'll go get him and we'll try again in one year.

I think ultimately you have to do what's best for your family. I'm a fan of telling my kids "everyone's family has different rules and we must respect them." My daughter's best friend couldn't spend the night at our house until she was 7, but my daughter spent the night at her house when she was 6 - for that family all of the family's kids (6 of them) had to wait until age 7 for sleepovers - house rule. Another friend says "no sleepovers until age 9" but she makes exceptions for parents she knows well like me.

If you are not comfortable with it, don't do it - do what works for your family.

With friends, 4th grade.

At age 5... it was another neighborhood kid that stayed over. Knowing the parents is a good thing. You can't be too careful these days.

Really young. 3 or 4? My kids have had sleepovers practically every weekend their whole lives. Do whatever you are comfortable with.

My daughter was 6 when she first over at a friends house (they were very close friends), the friends girls were around the same age when they slept over at our house. Since then she has had many sleepovers, but mainly we have her friends stay at our house. Most of the girls that my daughter invites, we are the first house they are allowed to sleep at. My husband I never go to bed before the kids and we always have many activities to ensure everyone has a good time. We have also had girls that just stay for the party part and then go home at bedtime. I think you need to feel comfortable with the parents and that they are go to be well supervised. You also need to go by your child. My little one is almost 5 and has ahard time sleeping over at the grandparents. I think it will be a while before he is ready for a sleepover.

aside from sleeping over at famlies house, grandma's or their aunt and uncles, it was at least 9. I don't allow them to sleep over for most slumber parties . I know it sounds mean but when my daughter was 7 she was invited to one and only went till night and I picked her up. The next day come to find out One little girl had her pillow taken from her and didn't know what to do. The parents had gone to bed and said don't bother us. Needless to say that mom was pretty upset , rightfully so. I don't think my kids are missing out by not going to these.

My 12 year old sleeps over at the house across the street sometimes, and my 4 (almost 5) year old tags along. The 4 year old is usually home within an hour, so I would say he is not ready even with his older brother. My son had a sleepover party when he was 11, and went to one for a 10 year old. That should narrow it down a little at least.

My daughter was about 9, and I checked the parents out on the Megan's Law website. I let her when I knew she was old enough to call me if she thought something wasn't right, and of course only if I knew the parents. Take care, C.

At my older daughter's school, it seemed like all the parents were waiting until their girls turned 7 (1st grade) before starting sleepovers. DD had just turned 7 when she was invited for the first time, so we went with that. My younger daughter is about to turn 7 and she hasn't complained about needing to wait. We already have her first scheduled for right after that.

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