Thanks

Leave his clothes right where he leaves them! Do NOT clean up after himself no matter how it grates you! He'll get the message. One time of him doing that and I would load the boys up in car and go for the day and then come back and see if he has cleaned up his clothes. THEN if not - Don't you touch them - leave them. Allow the house to be sooo messed up that he could not stand it. adding to the problem. Stop waiting on him hand and foot. You're his wife NOT his maid!

First off, the beer's got to go. If he can't be a big boy and clean up his beer bottles, then he can't have it.

And I know its easier said than done in regards to letting his clothes pile up. Is there a place you can just toss them so you don't have to constantly see them (like the basement)? And assume any clothing not neatly folded and put away is dirty. He'll run out of laundry real quick. At the bottom of each drawer, maybe include detailed instructions on how to do laundry.

Also, you said you only have 2 children. Why do you have a house with 4 bathrooms? Unless there's some sort of emotional value to it, sell the house, move into a smaller one that you can better manage the cleaning, and use any leftover funds to help with bills (so if you really don't want to do 3rd shift you can just quit). I know you might be thinking, "I'll get to pack up everything and do all the moving". Well, pack your stuff and what you need; let him know when you're moving, and that anything not packed will be a bonus for the new owners (I'm sure they'd love to have an addition to their DVD collection).

What does your husband do to "relax"? Don't let him do it. Even if it means selling the TV to hire a maid. Follow through.

Normally I would say to keep the kids out of husband-wife issues, but to me this sounds like a family problem. Make him explain to his kid why he gets to leave stuff all around the house and the child can't......"Because I said so" and "Because I'm the adult" doesn't cut it. Plus the humiliation factor that his kid has to remind him to be a responsible adult might help too.

I hate to say it, but you might have to treat him like one the kids until he gets his act together.

Sounds like you need a chart of who does what and when. Take turns w/ laundry, cleaning or whatever. Sit down w/ him EVERY week or every other week and do it. If he needs to be reminded constantly, then sitting down and putting them on a chart will give him constant reminders w/ out nagging.

Make SURE to include the boys. They are old enough to help. When you can, have the boys or take turns w/ one of the boys...and dad do a clean-up or work project TOGETHER. This gives them time together and gets something accomplished, as well. In addition, this will help HIM learn to step up and set a decent example for the boys.

Have you asked him what kind of example he wants to be for the kids? Once he tells you.......and he'd BETTER NOT say, "I don't know"......you need to ask him if he is that example. If not (obviously) then he needs to step up. If he wants to live at a hotel where a maid can pick up after him, then he needs to HIRE a maid or move to a hotel!

Hiring someone would help you anyway. So.......he can choose........to help or hire someone else to help!

Hi Pamela,

It does sound like you've created a monster, one who is probably worse then your kids! I'm not sure how you've handled it this long!

I think you & your husband need to have a civilized talk. Both need to make a list of pros & cons with whats happening. Discuss your feelings with being overwhelmed & what will help you. No kids, TV, radio or games during this talk. Both of you are focused on each other & your needs. If asking, thanking & talking is not helping then maybe counseling together will help that is if he truly wants to make you happy.

Try making weekends (or any time you're all together) the time that everyone pitches in & helps with the chores. Make a list of things that need to be done. No one sits, or plays until the work is done. Dishes, bedrooms, dusting sweeping etc. While you are organizing the wash loads, let all the others fold. If your husband doesn't take care of his cloths after you've taken the time to fold, give him his basket of clean cloths to fold.

I don't know the financial situation, but maybe he feels as though you don't think he can support his family & resents the fact that you are working. Does he want you to work?

As for the cloths laying around, he needs to be reminded that he is a role model for your kids. He's teaching them bad habits, and will make it harder to enforce good habits if dad doesn't.

The beer cans laying around is not appropriate especially with kids. They will try to get the last drops from the bottom of the can when no one is looking. Perhaps the drinking is part of the problem!!! He'll say no, but is it????

It's not going to be easy unless he's willing to help. If he doesn't then you'll need to decide what the next step is. It is unfair to you to do it all! You need time for yourself too!!! I feel if a woman works outside the home, then her husband needs to pitch in with the house & kids!! But who am I????

Good luck, I hope things work out for you & your family!

K.

maybe create a chore chart for everyone, including you & your husband & put it in a very high traffic/visible area. give our rewards to your kids, maybe at first every day, then lengthen it to just once a week after awhile. for your hubby, it could be something he likes as well (that's cheap, not like a new tv or something ;o)...then everyone can visually see how they need to help & then all you do as well.

even if you were still staying at home, everyone should help keep the house in order; it's not just the mom's job!

oh my goodness...i just read a response from martha. i gotta say that i never once thought while reading your article that you are not there for your husband. you simply want help. giving him more sex & sandwiches is ridiculous. that is minimizing men to being with; as if they only thing that ever motivates them is sex or food?! come on. they are more than that. his simple love for you & his family should motivate him to help around the house. please don't take what she said to heart. i'm sorry; i know this is a bit rude to her, but that will only make you more crazy trying to do it all in your house, plus be a sex goddess... wow, i never thought i'd read something like that as advice.

I work fulltime too, and actually am the primary breadwinner in our household, and it has nothing to do with how much housework either of us does. When both parties work and are tired, I think it often falls to the person who is most bothered by the clutter to do the cleaning. While my husband is not quite as bad as yours (he will help out when the house gets really cluttered or when we have company coming over), there are a few things I've done that seem to help some.

As for the clothes in the family room. Buy one of those big plastic laundry hampers with the lids. Tuck it in the corner of the family room so that he can just through the clothes in the hamper (and the kids too). This way at least the clothes aren't on the floor, and you can just take the hamper full of clothes to the laundry room on laundry day.

As for the beer bottles, if you don't already have one, put a small garbage can in the family room, so he doesn't have to go far to throw them away. It sounds like he works pretty long days, so perhaps just making it more convenient for him to be helpful would work.

As for the kids saying, "well, Dad does it." Remind the boys that their Dad works hard all day and that he also does other things around the house (I'm assuming he does most of the outdoor work.)and that part of their "jobs" include picking up after themselves. Remind them that Mommy will be too tired to take them to their activities if she has to clean up after everyone.

Does he like to cook at all? If so, maybe he could give you a break just by cooking on one of the weekend days (or treating you all to take out). Or maybe instead of pestering him about cleaning, he'd be better at helping the kids with their homework (or you could ask him to take them to one of their activities once a week - it's good for him to be involved in their activities too). My husband takes our kids to their swim lessons (although he grumps about it, he still does it).

Take heart, I think a lot of us working moms face the same problems when it comes to housework, so you aren't alone. Good luck.

This might seem a little extreme, but will certainly get the point across. Announce to everyone that from now on if clothes are left on the floor they will be put in the trash. Then if they are left there, put them in the trash and take it out. Don't cook for your husband. He is a big boy, if he doesn't want to help, then let him do for himself. Fix only enough for you and your 2 boys. Do NOT give your husband anything. When he ask about it nicely explain that you just didn't have enough time to cook for 4 people. Then don't argue, or say anything else about it. I also would NOT do his laundry. I would make him do everything for himself. Be consistent though. No matter what make him do for himself. Even if he is sick, or if he has to work overtime. It might take a while, but it will eventually work if you don't back down. Most important though, do not yell, argue, belittle him, or anything like this. Be nice and calm about all of it, including throwing the clothes away if left on the floor. Make sure you are consistent about it, even if it is one of the boys clothes. Good luck!!!

Your last sentence says it all.
Your husband has no reason to change...so you will have to change.
My suggestion is to stop doing everything for him.
You will have to get over your perfectionism.
Your circumstances have changed since you first got married.
You have 2 children now and a tiring job.
I would not even say anything , but just stop picking up after him.
I mean it.
If he runs out of clean clothes, so be it.
If he doesn't like the accumulated beer bottles all over the place....he knows where to put them.
It is imperative for you to do this NOW (think of the next 10 years if you don't).
As for the boys, insist that they do their chores etc. and pick up after themselves.
If you husband is "good" for a few days, fine, but if he reverts, leave him be until he realizes you are not his "maid"(mother) anymore.
Do NOT fight about it.
If he begins to push your "neat-freak" buttons, walk out of the room or house if you need to.
Pick the important chores (like the bathrooms) to do on weekends.
If something doesn't get done, so what, shut the door until you get to it.
Take some time for yourself.
You cannot be good to anyone else unless you are good to yourself.
How do you want your boys to remember you when they grow up, and are looking for a wife and mother to their children?
Is what you are doing now working for you?
If not, it is time for you to change your tactics...
Best wishes.

I know how you feel. However, are there things that he takes care of that you don't- like oil changes in the cars, repair work, lawn mowing, shoveling snow? My husband does these things at least.

Some things you do have to let go. Four bathrooms are a lot to clean. I have 3 and it is hard to keep up and my kids are grown up! So, close one off, tell them it is off limits b/c it is too much cleaning, or even 2 of them, use only when company is over. If the dusting can wait, let it go 2 weeks. Mop the kitchen every 2 weeks. If you are all gone during the day, it can't be all that bad.

It took my husband a long time to learn to pick up his clothes and trash. And my sons are bad about it too.
Don't let your sons get away with things just b/c your husband does it. "You don't worry about what Dad does, just do what you are told".

If you have scheduled times for doing things, like Thurs night groceries- ask you husband "please wash up the dishes, counters and table while I am at the store". That way the kitchen will be cleaned up. Or make a list and ask him to do the shopping.

You can put you and the boys on a schedule of cleaning the bedrooms and bathrooms, etc, but men like don't like to be told when and what to do. Keep a running list of extra things that need to be done- like cleaning the fridge, sweeping the garage, washing the windows, cleaning out a sink drain. Ask him to please help out with these. Then, don't discuss it and don't do any of those things. Just leave the list hang on your fridge or a cabinet. When people come over they are going to notice it and comment on it. Then you can explain that this is your husbands chore list. Date the day you put the chore on there, so it doesn't look like you came up with it all at once.

If he doesn't cooperate, then do the best you can with the boys' help. Make a habit of picking up his things he leaves laying around and put them next to his side of the bed or just get a laundry basket and put it all in there- beer cans, trash, clothes, shoes. He can sort it out when he wants.

Make sure you make time for you and your husband to go out. Remember, when the kids are gone, it will be you two alone again and you'll want to have activities you both enjoy.
Maybe your husband is tired b/c he doesn't get enough exercise. Or if his job is physical, maybe he just needs to rest 30 min when he gets home. Eat out on Fri or Sat evening so you don't have kitchen clean up those days.

You could put him in charge of the checkbook, paying the bills and then threaten to quit work if he doesn't help out. That way he can see how much money you have and what the effect will be if you don't work.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt to prove it. I had four kids, a DH, worked full time and went to IU in the evenings and carried a 4.0gpa the entire time. Ack! After being exhausted and near tears all the time, shreaking at my kids and DH, I finally decided it was time to take care of me. If you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to take care of anyone else. So here's what I did: I started calling family meetings every Friday evening. I made a list of chores on small pieces of paper and put them in one of two jars. One jar had chores in it that the younger kids could do-age 2 years to 7yrs. The other chores went into a jar for my 2 older kids and my DH. After explaining to them that I was at the end of it and had to have their help, needed their help, they went around the table, each one pulling a chore out until all chores were assigned. I still did a lot of the big things, grocery shopping, baking harder foods, cleaning the oven, driving kids to sports etc but from that first Friday on I started getting help. We refined it each week, settled into a chore chart complete with shiny stars purchased at Learning Treasures and giving the stars as rewards for completing their chores. The chores ranged from emptying the small wastebaskets, making your bed, sweeping under the dinner table, turning laundry right side out, seperating it, folding and putting it away when I finished washing and drying it, making salads and side dishes for dinner, changing the sheets on their bed etc etc. They also took over the care and feeding of the family dog and cat, taking out the trash etc. There's lots of ways to find answers for your problem. It's important your family understands that you NEED them as much as they need you. I had issues with being a control freak and a neatnik-it doesn't have to be done perfectly so don't pick on the job done. Help them and show them how best to do it and say thank you thank you thank you. When they see that they can take responsibility for themselves and help their family they really gain a lot of pride in themselves and at the same time you are helping them form a work ethic that will stay with them the rest of their lives. Stars earned can go for a trip to the local public library, a trip to the local ice cream place, a trip to the park, going to the movies, or for an older child, stars were accumulated for a special purchase-clothing from Abercrombie and Fitch, iTunes money, games etc. Just work at finding what works best for your family. It will take some finetuning and you'll need to be flexible but hopefully, in the end, you will have a lot more help and time to do something special for yourself to recharge your batteries! Don't lose yourself in your desire to do so much for your boys. If your husband won't step up to the plate to go along with a plan like this then as a last resort you might try what my best friend did-she went on strike. No more meals cooked, no clothes washed, no dishes washed etc etc. It took about 8 days for him to figure out she wasn't giving in. She came to my house the following weekend and left him and the kids to fend for themselves. Those 2 days showed him just how much she did around the house and for him and the kids. She's never had a problem getting him to help since then. Good luck! Don't forget to let some of those dust bunnies lie right where they are and spend quality time with your boys. They'll be grown and gone before you can blink an eye.

I have been through what you are going through and it is really, really hard to get through it. What really helped us was to have a chore list. Basically, I made a list of all the chores I could use help with. Then we sat all sat down (all: my hubby, my stepkids and I) and we each picked the chores that we could do. I posted the chore list on the refrigerator and it really helped. I was still the "administrator" and enforcer that everybody did their chores but I had more time to get things done and find some time for me. It wasn't as easy as it sounds but it worked for our family. You wrote that you are a neat freak/perfectionist and you may have to come to terms with that and give some of it up. That's a tough thing too. What helped me back then was hearing a woman speak who had just lost her husband. She said that he used to leave his socks laying around and she used to get so irritated that she had to clean up after him. Now, she said, she wishes that she could clean up after him...
I hope things work out for you and your family.

Yes--we've been there, too. The jobs jar sounds good--we would turn off the TV on Saturday morning, and have what the Navy used to call a "work party"--everyone pitched in, doing their age appropriate jobs for about a half an hour, and it was all done. As they got older and more responsible, there was a list of jobs, and they changed as people got tired of doing the same things. I would start the laundry, and all washed, dried laundry would go on the sofa, and everybody had to come down and get their laundry and fold it, take it back to their rooms. My husband and I emphasized that we were a "team", and everybody needed to know how to take care of this stuff the rest of their lives anyway.

Wow, You need a night out with the Girls! I am only a new Mommy and so I can't relate with everything that you are going through, but my Mom just gave me the book "Now What" by Gary Chapman, it was very helpful to me and it give great tips on learning how to discipline and communicate to enhance the loving relationship with your husband and children. I've found Communication is a huge part of the battle. I don't think that you are asking too much, you feel overwhelmed tooand it sounds like you do tons to keep your family going! You need to tell him how you feel and see if there is a system that you can establish, so that you get a brake as well as he does. Family life is team work and you need to feel like you are in it together, not that all the responsibility is on your shoulders! Really, get this book, it comes in audio too (you could listen to it on the way to work) and see if your husband will read it too! Hope it helps! Take care and keep the faith!

First off you have to train yourself to stop the neat freak stuff, it is putting you the over the edge. It is time to take time for a family conference. Explain to your husband that marriage is a partnership. If you both bring in the money then you both have to do household chores. Explain to the boys if they want to be involved in after school activities and sports then they have to help keep the home clean and neat. They don't have to help, but if they don't then you can no longer drive them to outside activities because you have a full time job to help pay for the home which takes you out of the house for about 10 hours a day, you deserve 8 hours of sleep (which you are not getting) and at least and 1 1/2 hours a day to get ready for work an to come home and take a bath, read a book, watch the news, and unwind just like everyone else gets. If they don't want to help then a cleaning service will have to be employed. While you will continue to cook it is up to hubby and the boys to do the dishes. The boys are old enough to have a chore list and earn an allowance for doing the chores. If husband doesn't want to pick up dirty clothes his clothes will quite simply not be washed and if you pick them up they will go in a box in the garage from now on and he will be responsible for washing his own clothes. The money spent on the cleaning service will have to come from the budget and that means no more movies, eating outside of the home, weekly beer, and cutting back on the outside activities and sports.
It sounds harsh but it isn't. The boys will be taught responsiblity and taking pride in their home and the consequences of not doing what has to be done.
Husband is not old, yes, you created the monster but the monster can be uncreated.

I don't think you're asking too much but that's how my husband is too. So, now that more money is coming into the house, why don't you hire someone to clean once a week or every other week. It might save your sanity and your marriage.

I can certainly understand your issue. I mayself went to work full time when the boys were older and could handle things theirselfs. They knew how to do their clothes. I just kept their door shut so I didn't see they threw dirt and clean together. My youngest still does even with all the begging which I am sick of doing. He even brings girls into his mess. Yuck!
Well my husband lost a job and before "he got tired of laying around with nothing to do all day" would ask me the second I got home. "What's for dinner- I haven't eaten all day". I got to where I said I am so sorry you could not get off the sofa and put leftovers in the microwave or forsr yourself to venture into the basement and oven the deep freezer and get one of theose dinners you love so well. I wold think say I don't know what's for dinner did you lay anything out for dinner? I would think tell him how much longer it was going to take to cook since he lacked the forethought to lay somethig out and keep a check on it through the day. He usually took me out to dinner then. As to his wash when he would say I cann'y find sny clsn jeans or underwear, I would say very scsrcsticslly I am sorry I don't wear them so maybe you should have did a load or two couple days ago instead of sleeping alday or watching TV. When he complained about the house being dirty. I stuck my arm out and pulled it back again and again. I Said can you do that. He did I said great that'show to push the sweeper back and forth and I don't think you have any alergies to the polish I use on the furniture. Need less to say he started doing it.
Now I will say he doesn't clean like I would prefer but it gets done and physically I cannot do it anymore. I think I was having a heart attack or a major stroke ehrn I tried to clean my refigerator but now I am thinking because it still hurts even on pain meds (really strong)and I cannot pull myself up off the floor. I can get down but not up and SS says I can and even lift. There's no way even with a handle. I loose my grip from my carpel tunnel. I just look the other way. I keep my stuff in order and do my wash if they take it down for me and bring it up to fold. I still do most of the cooking but I have to sit often. Let it pile up snd when someone asks your on strike.
I have heard we wear many different hats and they can change in s second's notice and we can even wear more than one at the same time but it takes men hours if not days to change there hates. It's there nature. Good luck.
Can you afford a mother's helper? It could be an older teen, young person going to college?
If you go to church maybe there is someone the pater would know. They could at least be able to clean up trash, take it out, maybe gather your laundry. I would suggest you still sort it and assign each person a basket. Put things in the baskets and let her fold the clothes and take them to the right bedroom. Just as a safety precaution I would get a safe and only keep cheap things out, Also lock up adictive drugs. You hate to prejudge someone but sometimes no matter how much you check a person out they can surprise you.

Sounds like you're normal. Yes, you have every right to be upset that you're not getting the help you want/need. When I was first married and working full-time, we both would get home, and he'd say, "What's for dinner?" I said, "Whatever you fix..." He would grumble, "But I worked all day..." I'd grumble right back, "Well, so did I." From then on, it's been "the art of compromise."

Have you thought about giving the boys chores? No, they won't be done to you're perfectionist eyes, but it'll be better than it was when they started.

Second: Make peace with imperfection. That's item #1 in a book called "Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff". I decided a long time ago that I'd rather have quality time with my family (2 girls and husband) than have a 100% neat/clean/spic&span house. I even got so mad at my husband for "not helping" that I went on a "cleaning holiday". If he wanted dinner, he'd have to make it. If he wanted the kitchen clean or the laundry done, then he'd have to do it. My husband doesn't just sit on the couch & drink beer and watch TV - he's on the computer 24/7. It's just what he does. He's a computer geek. He's gotten MUCH better about helping out.

We also have the arrangement that he'll do whatever I want regarding "helping" as long as I give him 15 minutes to finish whatever he's working on. I told him that was fine, as long as he realized the longer he took, the longer the list would be. I've also started approaching him with, "I need your help - the trash needs to go out." And as long as I don't mean "do it this second", he will get to it when he gets a chance, or when he stops, he'll ask me, "What was it you wanted me to do?" Or it could be that you have a list of things you want help with that your perfectionism won't be very offended by, and give it to him asking for his help.

We've also worked it out that I clean the bathrooms, especially the toilets, and he mops the floors & sweeps. (But we're both willing to step up if something happens we need to to help the other person out.)

Also - for some reason, women can climb the Mt. Everest of "around the house" stuff, and men take out one trash bag and act as if they conquered the world. Every time my husband does stuff, I praise him pretty profusely (but genuinely). "That looks great honey - thanks so much for doing that, I really appreciate it!" I do appreciate it because I didn't have to do it.

Just a few thoughts...good luck!

OMG, P.!

I give you credit for being there for your children.
It is so important to be there in these informative years.
However, what is wrong with you?

MARRIAGE IS A PARTNERSHIP!!
I am a sahm, for now. My husband works a full-time job with some overtime, and he STILL will come home and help with the kids, clean up after dinner, help with bath time, fold some laundry, etc.
He will ask what he can do, just to give my a little break for being "mommy".
It is about give and take...you are doing all of the giving and being taken advantage of! That isn't fair! No matter who makes the money, this should be an equal partnership.
This is not setting a good example to your sons, either!
They learn from their environment!

My advice to you is to sit down with your husband,tell him that you are tired and need help, make up a chore schedule for all of you(including your boys-they are old enough to help out, too) and STICK TO IT!

You are a great wife and a great mother! But, if you don't take a stand for yourself, you won't be any good to anyone!

Hon, you are going to have to realize you CAN'T do it all! Let some things go. Spending time with your kids is important, so maybe the laundry can go another day....or less the perfect rooms. Or, since you are working, perhaps hiring a cleaning lady once a week would help. A lot of people do this and it could give you some peace. Chances are, she'll do a much more thorough job because that's all she'll do rather than when you have so much else to do!!

Hang in there!!! Take care, Mom!

Hey Superwoman!

Put on your cape and fly over to the Family Christian Bookstore where you can pick up (or at least read it in the aisle!) Stormie Omarten's "The Power of a Praying Wife" and "The Power of a Praying Husband". You will have to read yours first.(bummer!) but, you will gain SO much insight to what is going on! He is depressed because "THE JOB" didn't make him happy and his wife had to go to work... Never mind that it is gray and dreary here all the time! He is so lucky to have a strong, go-getter like yourself. And, deep down, he knows it. (He's an ambitious and smart man, he picked you, right?) But the medal ceremony for emptying the dishwasher (not filling it with dirty ones...just putting away the clean ones) is getting old for the both of you. These books were a miracle for us. Very easy to read. Very encouraging. VERY insightful and a whole lot less $$ than counseling (if you can find a good one). Best tip I got was to only talk about your feelings...not about actions (or lack of actions). Write me back and let me know how it goes!
Blessings to the 4 of you!! T.

Pamela,
if you are willing to make sacrifices by giving up staying home to work outside the home to help pay bills, you need to sit down with your husband and talk about this
problem, if both of you are working outside the home, than he needs to step up to the plate and help you out alot more than he is right now, there is nothing wrong with him helping you out more,you are not superwoman and he should not be excepting you to be. You do not need to wear yourself down while helping him out with the finances. You
definitely need to sit down and talk to him, get him to help you work out a plan of action. Hope I helped you out some.
K.

I'm sure other moms will have some great advice for you, but the short solution is to hire a housekeeper. I'm guessing you'd rather forego some dinners out at restaurants or other things in order to pay for some help. -- Then long-term, it'd be great if you could talk to someone in the counseling field to get a handle on how to address the more serious issues. I think it'd do you a world of good to just sit down and talk it out to someone who is trained to help! Good luck!

Hey Pamela,

I hope you don't think I am picking on you, but are you very devoted to your husband? You say that you are to your boys in your post, and I know that you are mad at him, but is the primary relationship in your life your marriage or is it motherhood?

As Moms and wives the first thing we seem to toss out is the romance with our husbands when kids and housework and life get in the way. Men are very simple creatures. They need S&S (sex and sandwhiches, and they don't really care about much else) As long as the beer you mentioned is not playing a major role in your problems with your husband, you would be surprised how much he would start doing for your family if you let the house work go and make him feel like he comes first in your life, the way that he understands relationships.

They resopnd really badly to nagging, but so does everyone. I tried this about five years ago, and it worked for me, my husband and I have been married for 20 years this year, and we have never been happier, and exept for the beer, most of my complaints were like yours, and I thought it was all his fault too, and it was, but I held the key to fix it, and it worked. I know, I know, he should fix it becaue you do everything, but trust me, it works.

I ended up reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Lauara, and while she says a lot of things that I find offensive, but her directions for how men feel and how they respond to her directions could not be any more dead on. It worked for me.

Happy, and my husband would swim through shark infested waters to get me lemonade...

Hope it helps!
M.