At Home Daycare Advice Needed

Updated on October 02, 2008
J.C. asks from Waterbury, CT
5 answers

My two year old daughter is in an at home daycare in Naugatuck. I work in Milford and live in Waterbury. I have flex time worked out with me at work because this is already my 4th sitter. Recently, I went away on vacation with my daughter and the sitter was paid for the week. What I need to know if this is common or not. I usually pay her $175 a week. I pay her for any days I take my daughter, or another family member. I pay her for sick days and any times my mom or sisters decide to take her for the day. I pay 150 a week plus 25 for food. Because this is a huge issue with my family and my boyfriend (who is responsible for paying the sitter), I am questioning on whether or not I should renegotiate terms with my sitter. After all, it is 700 a month. My daughter loves it there and loves her kids. I don't want any problems, or to have to find yet another sitter. What does everyone else do? Am I being taken advantage of and being overly nice? Or, am I doing the right thing by paying vacation time? I accomodate her wishes by having my daughter picked up when she wants to take her kids to Lake Compounce, even last minute. I accommodate her schedule by leaving work at 4:15 to be there by 5 so she can serve dinner to her family and be ready for cheerleading. I arrive to work late so that I don't bring my daughter too early because she's still sleeping and so are her kids. I bring her around 7:30 and usually arrive at work between 8:15 and 8:30. I'm supposed to be in at 8am. I make up my hours once my daughter is in bed and work from home online. Can I get some feedback on what other people do for their children? This an at home daycare, uncertified, paid under the table, so I can't get any tax benefits also. Please let me know what everyone else is doing. I'm unsure as to what terms I need to set and if I'm even doing it right. Thanks!!!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

J.,

I've been lucky enough to have a nanny in my home during from Tues thru Fri (my husband is off on Mondays). I pay her every week, even if she only works one day. However, I do not pay her when were on vacation, as long as I've informed her in advance that her services would not be needed.

When my nanny was out of the country for a few months, I used an after school program. Their policy was; I had to pay a full week in advance, if I was going to use them for even one day. I also had to pick my children up by a certain time, or I would be charged for the additional time.

Actually, the terms should have been established before you engaged her services. I would politely ask her if it was possible for you to drop off your child at 7:15, explaining that you're getting to work late. However, if she indicates that it's not possible or difficult, politely say "ok, thank you". As you know, it's very difficult to find quality day care at an affordable price.

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J.P.

answers from New York on

Wow~! I just got out of a situation exactly like this.. My best friend was watching my nine month old (since she was six months old).. I was constantly stressing about when I would drop her off and when I would pick her up.. We had a falling out for different reasons and she told me she was uncomfortable watching my daughter.. It was the best thing she could have done for me! Now, my daughter goes to a child care facility open from 6-6 and I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders! Instead of stressing out about when I will get there to pick her up, I use that energy looking forward to seeing my daughter and hearing about everything she's done that day.. but yes, I have to pay every week regardless but it is totally worth it...........

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D.

answers from New York on

This is totally normal. All the big daycare centers do the same thing. If your child is not there you have to pay. I know several that are closed when the schools are (for school vacations and such) and you still have to pay even though the daycare is closed. Basically it's a fee for holding your childs spot. I don't think your being taken advantage of at all. My mom watches my kids while hubby and I work and I still pay her for the weeks I'm on vacation or even while I was on maturnity leave last year for 4 mos. Honestly, your getting off cheap. I work at UCONN Health Center and if my kids were there it would be almost $300 a week just for my daughter, whose 14 mos. My son would be less but still. It's normal to pay when your child is not there. Ridiculous, but normal. Call The Stork Club or Kindercare and ask they will tell you the same.

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N.M.

answers from New York on

My kids have gone to both in home babysitters and large centers. Personally, I like the larger centers better, there is less TV, more playtime with other kids and even lessons during the day. I never have to worry about hours, it's open from 6a-6p. So even though my drop off is usually 8:30, when I need to do 6:30 for a day, and talked to them, then were able to accomodate that. We usually pick up by 4/4:30, but if there is an emergency, I just call and it's ok as long as we are there by closing. I never have to worry if my provider is sick or on vacation. When I am going on vacation, if I give 2 weeks notice then I can pay half the reate for up to 2 weeks vacation a year. When my son was infant to age 2 we paid $250 a week, I provide lunch, cups and dipares/wipes - they proivde snacks. He's 4 now, it went down at the age of 3. It's not all a bed of roses, there were some problems but I always talked it out with the teacher or director. I'm not trying to convice you to switch to a large daycare, but just wanted you to know what my experience is so you can compare. Changing your schedule so she can go to Lake Compunce is alot to ask of you. And yes, it is nice to get the tax deduction for daycare. Maybe looking around will help you decide what's right for you. At one point I did that and realized that I really did like where we were going. Good luck.

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A.L.

answers from New York on

Hello J.,

I was recently laid off and had my children at an in Home daycare, she was licensed though so I was able to get the tax benefits. That is a huge benefit that your not collecting, but its tough when you like someone so much, sometimes its the risk you are willing to take. I also paid her for all her vacations and her sick days and time off. Now that I am laid off I opened my own in home daycare in Naugatuck. I called several places and asked many questions to find out that this is normal to charge for the vacations and days off as they do this to hold your childs spot in the daycare. I dont agree with you having to go in late and get there early all the time. I mean you have a job and it is far away. Its not fair to you to have to worry about making up the time. I would talk to her about working with you on letting you get there at 7am or so, let her know you have to be in work at 8am and it is getting to difficult in making up all the time. Hopefully she will be understanding and you can work something out. I could understand if it was a doctors appt or if it only happened once in a while, but sometimes its good for her to have a back up person to sit in for her as well so its not inconveincing the parents all the time to pick up the children early. I hope this helped. Best of luck to you and hopefully just talking to her about your needs will help.
A.

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