Assistance.. Religious

Cut her out of your life. Just because she "donated an egg" to your conception does not make her a mother. Your children do not need someone like her in your life. I have very little contact with my mother because of her actions and behavior. I would never leave my son alone with her. I speak to her by phone perhaps 5x/year max. I am ok with that (finally, thanks to therapy and 100% support from my husband).

I googled "what does the bible say about bad parents) and got:

Luke 17:3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him

Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.

Psalm 27:10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.

Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Psalm 94:19 When my disquieting thoughts became many inside of me, Your own consolations began to fondle my soul. (NWT)

I'm so sorry. A mother should nurture her children.

I think that the absolute best thing that you can do right now is to change your phone number. You need to stop getting these awful messages.

Keep in mind that your mom sounds to be mentally ill. There are many, many mental illnesses that range from mild depression and/or anxiety to violent schizophrenia. All of them can be mild or severe like any other disease. My MIL is probably bipolar but was never properly diagnosed and was treated for depression only. She has said horrible, awful things to people that she loves. The problem with people who suffer with mental illnesses is that they don't want to think of themselves as mentally ill and they don't admit they are sick and need medicine. Most people with mental illnesses can be treated with great success once the proper medication is determined. But they don't like taking their medication. <deep sigh> I have learned a lot about this becuase my daughter has been diagnosed with a personality disorder and she had awful moments and sweet loving moments, and then all kinds of stuff inbetween.

So - I've included some verses below which have given me great solace, I also want you to realize that mental illness is real, you can't pray it away, it's a brain chemistry problem and if the proper treatment is established the ill person can have a full and satisfying life that doesn't destroy the loved ones around them. In your mom's more normal moments try to discuss medical attention and keep trying.

In the meantime realize that your mom, like most mentally ill people almost can't help their erratic behavior any more than a diabetic can control their blood sugar by sheer will. You are not a bad person and there's no bad mother lurking in you - you are the child of a person with a serious life-affecting illness. And you need to find a place of peace in your inner being that can only be provided by the Holy Spirit. I'm so glad you're turning to God's word for wisdom, discernment & solace.

Many of these pasasges are from the Psalms written by DAvid. I don't think that's a coincident as many modern biblical scholars perceive David to have suffered from depression and other mental health issues. How wonderful that God gives us an example in His word that's written by someone who understood the place we are in. And David is said to be a man after God's heart! God can use the damaged!

"I love the Lord because He hears my voice and prayer for mercy. I will pray as long as I have breath." Psalm 116:1-2

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalm 34:18

"I come to You for protection, O Lord, my God. Save me from my persecutors-rescue me!" Psalm 7:1

"I love you, Lord, You are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my Savior. My God is my rock in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me and my place of safety. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and He saved me from my enemies." Psalm 18:1-3

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, they are plans for good, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31

I will pray for you mama. This is tough for you but you are doing wonderfully and are seeking the right kind of encouragement. You can do it. Oh - and block her texts if you can - or delete them before you even read them. It's not healthy for you.

It honestly sounds like, you need to block your Mother's number from your phone, or change your own. Her saying things like this and tearing you down INTENTIONALLY isn't healthy for you to put up with. You need to be the one to stop this. You need to put your foot down, and decide that you are worth more than she is treating you and stop putting up with it. You need to learn, and REALIZE enough is enough.

Life is too short to have this kind of negativity in your life! Even if it is your mother. It is obvious she is making you miserable. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Tomorrow is a new day, and a New Year. Make it your resolution to break free from her and her negativity. Make it your resolution to not let ANYONE stunt your life, your happiness, and yourself as a whole. You deserve better. Make the change NOW. You will feel so unburdened afterwards.

I wish you luck, and happiness in this coming year.

My heart hurts for you!

Lamentations 3:22 "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed. His compassions never fail." -your mom is hateful and spewing lies, but because of His great love for you, it doesn't have to consume you! He has new grace for you every day.

I am so glad you are going to counseling! You have been through the wringer with your mom and your boyfriend lately, haven't you? I am so sorry that you are being crushed by people who should be loving you. Remember that you are valuable! You are a good mama to your son and you are SMART to not allow your mother move in with you!

HUGS!!!

If you aren't already, I think you could benefit from professional counseling.
I know that's not what you asked for, but it's my best advice.
Since you are religious, could you talk to your pastor?

Since you are in counseling, have you talked to him/her about this?
I think the advice you've received to block her number/s is good advice.
You have to get some space, which might begin with not enabling her to send vile text messages every time she gets a wild hair.

Why haven't you blocked your mother from your contacts on your phone or changed your cell phone number? That's a major start right there. Save the texts you do have and file a report for harassment with them and see if you can get a restraining order or order of protection since she physically assaulted you.

Try biblegateway.com. You can search key words that may lead you to the verses you are looking for.
Good luck!

Happy moments, praise God
Difficult moments, seek God
Quiet moments, worship God
Painful moments, trust God
Every moment, thank God

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Block her/don't read her texts/cut the evil woman from your life.

This can also help you search:
http://www.godvine.com/bible/category/Anger

Good luck and take care of yourself!

If you can't block her number from your phone then change your phone number!

I'm sorry you are going through this.. I agree that you need to just change your number, or block her number so you don't get these texts.

I don't have any suggestions on verses..... maybe check with your pastor? He may have some good verse suggestions for you.

If necessary, get a restraining order against her....... that would also keep her from being able to communicate with you, I believe. It sounds incredibly harsh, but you may need to do that to protect your and your son's sanity.

She does sound mentally ill... I know that certainly doesn't excuse what she says/does, but sometimes makes it a bit easier to understand.

You are certainly in my prayers, C..

My go-to Scripture is Philippians 4:4-9. I have memorized it and recite it during all times, good and bad.

Also, Psalm 130 and Psalm 22 and Psalm 28.

God's peace be with you. You are a beloved child of God. Do not forget that.

I have a book called 'A Woman's Answer to Anger' by Annie Chapman you might get and read. There are so many verses on anger and all say don't have anger so it seems it's a choice we make whether to love or have anger. I think you need to love your mother but that doesn't mean you sit in her home and let her say and do what she is doing. She should NOT live with you with these behavior issues already there for sure. Distance yourself but love her in spite of her sin. Don't let it control you and don't respond back like she is to you.
Ecclesiastes 7:9
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools.
Proverbs 25:28
Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control.
Proverbs 15:1-2
A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.

2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
Proverbs 22:24-25
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man,
do not associate with one easily angered,
25 or you may learn his ways
and get yourself ensnared.
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

The Language of Letting Go is my all time fav Self Help Book, by Melody Beattie.

Prayers that you have peace in your heart.

I find these quotes inspirational:

* If God Brings You To It-He Will Bring You Through It!
* When life gets too hard to stand... Kneel

Wow, I don't have great advice, but I want to tell you I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I lost my mother to cancer 15 years ago, and I would give anything to be able to talk to her and see her again. But I will say that I have survived the last 15 years without her. I am raising my kids without her help, and I found a great husband that she'll never know, and I'm happy. I would say it's the best thing for you to pretend you're in a situation like mine....your mother can be dead to you, even if she's still here on earth. I say a mother who acts like that doesn't deserve any relationship with her daughter. Also, the comment about your other son's death was it. No matter how many times she may apologize, she still said some of the most hateful words I've ever heard. Please try to move on without your mom in your life. You will be better off. Best of luck to you and your son.

I am so sorry to hear this. First thing--cut off her access to you. You will never be able to heal if you try to do so while under fire. You need a break, to say the least. If you can stand it, change your number and make it private. Set it to show as private when you call other people. Don't give anybody your number who could possibly be in contact with her, unless you can trust them not to share it with her. If you just can't deal with changing your number, see if you can block her and set your phone to only receive transmissions from recognized numbers.

I used to have a King James bible that you could look up what you were feeling -say anger-and it would tell you where to look for verses pertaining to that emotion. a christian bookstore should have one.

Put her behind you and never look back.
Consider that you've survived the ordeal of being raised by her - you owe her nothing.
Block her number, her email address, and if she tries to contact you through the mail, mark it 'return to sender' and send it back unopened.
The only thing you ever want to hear about her again is her obituary notice.
My Mom has a less politically correct expression.
There are one or two people she's cut off and she says she wants to outlive them so she can go piss on their grave.
She just might do it, too.
Turn your anger into something constructive and it will pass eventually.
You'll survive this and be absolutely fine!

I am sorry for the loss of your son. The loss of a child is a moment in life that never truly heals. Shame on her for reopening that wound just so she can jab the knife in it.

Isaiah 5:20 - 21 (KJV)
20Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
21Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!

https://www.bible.com/bible/1/isa.5.20.kjv

Psalms 118:13-14
13Thou hast thrust sore at me that I might fall: but the Lord helped me.
14The Lord is my strength and song, and is become my salvation.

https://www.bible.com/bible/1/psa.118.14.kjv

Read all of psalms 27, especially 27:10. It has been H's saving grace that even though his mother hates him, the Lord had taken him up.

Read "Understanding the Borderline Mother".

Go to BPDFamily.com and see their lessons an workshops on boundaries.
If you go on the boards there, you will find a lot of people like you.
May you find rest for your soul.