Asperger's

Hi D.,

I am going through a similar situation as you this year and have been experiencing similar feelings and apprehension and fear. What I plan on doing, to try to start the school year off right for my son and I, is create a booklet that is all about my son -- a really quick read with pictures of him that will hopefully give his teachers and the administrators at his new school some information about our son's history, his likes, his hopes and dreams for the future, my husband and mine's hopes and dreams for his future, his strengths and weaknesses, etc. This booklet is based upon the MAPS (Making Action Plans) concept that you can read about in the following links: http://www.allenshea.com/maps.html and http://cecp.air.org/_discstrength/00000030.htm

The purpose of this booklet is to get my sons new teacher and the school administration thinking in terms of the fact that my son is more than just his "autism" or "special ed" label and to get them familiar with his strengths (fun-loving, loves reading, spelling and music) and weaknesses (doesn't know how to initiate friendships/interactions with his peers yet), and what he needs from them to succeed in school (don't dumb him down because he is an IEP kid, set him up with some peer buddies in class to help him transition through the day).

My son is going into kindergarten so I am creating it in a picture book fashion but, since our son is older (if you do decide to do something like this), you may want it to be set forth in a 1-page format with a picture of him somewhere on there and make it a quick read. Ask that the document be placed in your son's confidential school file and that a copy of it be distributed to all school personell who will be working with him throughout the school year.

Also, I know it is hard but stay positive. Negative feelings feed off of negative feelings. If you are spirituation, you may want to put that practice to use right now so that you can approach the school year from a place of peace and understanding. I've learned the hard way that when you approach things with fear and apprehension in your heart, other people react off that and it can make for a disasterous situation.

You may also want to start building connections with the PTA and getting to know other parents who have children with ASD, Aspergers and such, who are or have attended the same school so that you can draw up their experiences to help you and your son navigate through this new school experience.

Best of luck to you and your son. And remember, stay positive and proactive!

L.

4 moms found this helpful

Dear D.,

....and you think that people will go on line and say how wonderful the school is? Get a grip. Junior High School is just plain DIFFICULT and the kids are difficult and disrespectful, and they are lucky to have dedicated teachers that will even sign up to work in a Jr. High. Get in there and shadow your son, and keep up with what is happening with his homework and ask the teacher what you can do to help him or her, and take your kid and a friend to interesting places. No more listening to gossip. People say mean things all the time, and do not take any responsibility to help the situation. You need to just take a deep breath and get busy with helping to educate your own child and widen his environment and get some healthy things for him to do with friends and then you supervise, supervise, supervise, and involve the child in making decisions and get your husband involved and listen to his suggestions and respect them.
Amen, C. N. Been there and you'd do well to respect my words.

2 moms found this helpful

I'm not sure where you live, but there's a great Speech Therapy Center located in Hungtington Beach. They are great with kids with Autism/Asperger's. A speech pathologist can work on some of things he may struggle with in school.

They are called Speech & Language Professional Services
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1 mom found this helpful

The web is overwhelmed by whiners. Don't rely on it to get a clear picture. List your needs and go to the school yourself to ask questions. Find an alternative source of info.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi D.,

Does he have an IEP? if so, I would suggest meeting with the team ASAP to adjust it for his needs going into middle school.

This is a huge transition for any child, so please don't send him in without proper support. And, you can call an IEP meeting as often as needed to make adjusts. Just be sure to request in writing (even email works) so they have to respond within the required time.

Best wishes, and, if you need a really great advocate, let me know......I have a great one that I used for my son.

1 mom found this helpful

I went through this many years ago, the elementry school my son went to was wonderful supporting him, he was an inclussion kid out of special education, then we went to middle school things werent so bad, he had a one on one aid, the teachers were kinda of old, didn't include him in the regular educations stuff, but one of his teachers reward these kids oftern, I had small complaintsm now when he went to high school, whammy he lost all support, no aide, fought me to get him bus service, it was a nightmare, and it gets worse after that. You have to fight fight fight for his rights, after middle school .. have him evaluated through special ed, if he needs a one on one aide ask for one have him evaluated demand this service, they can modify his school also, but he must have an I.E.P first, which stand for indepent education program. They have 15 to 30 days to complete the assistment.

Good Luck

Pioneering new paths in the public school system is...hard work. Unique circumstances usually require systems and structures that aren't yet established. People in the school system may try to create what you need or turn down what you need, and they will do it blindly because they do not yet know your child. If you are lucky enough to be included in a program, it will not yet be tailored to your child and the creation part of it will be turbulent, most likely.

I have found all this to be staggering. However, as a person hoping to become patient, good at working with others, and capable of creating what I need for my kids, it has become a fascinating journey. The journey has included continued research into the unique challenges one of my children faces, the invigorating practice of communication skills that build bridges rather than burns them, and the wonderful experience of feeling valuable to my community.

Some kids come to earth and they take us off the beaten path. They help us become the kinds of parents who increase what civilization can offer to all people. The foundation for success is mastering excellent communication skills and a hopeful, love-filled perspective.

The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute and I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better by Gary and Joy Lundberg are some great resources to arm yourself for SUCCESS!!!

As long as you have an IEP you shouldn't have any trouble and if you do...hire an advocate to sit in at your IEP meetings. If you don't have an IEP (Individualized Education Plan), ask for one. It's mandated by the federal government to ensure that children with special needs succeed in school. The schools don't always tell you about it so I wanted to make sure you know your rights as a parent of a special needs child.

FIRST AND FOREMOST, you are the parent! if you feel that this particular school is/will not be in the best intrests of your son, then move him to another school. it is your right as a parent (legally) to do so. YOU of all people know whats best for him.

Remember that it's almost always the complainers that 'comment' and rarely the ones who are satisfied, so take the comments with a grain of salt. My son is autistic and will also be starting junior high next year. It is nerve wracking enough without hearing all the bad stuff. Take a tour of the school if you can. Talk to other parents (that you know) who's kids have gone there. Maybe even arrange an appointment with the principal to address any concerns you might have.

Most of all, don't set yourself (and your son) up for a bad experience by expecting one. If you go into it with a positive attitude, and issues that arise will be much easier to handle.

Good luck, and hang in there!

I highly recommend you contact the HELP Group in Sherman Oaks - they specialize in working with kids on the autism spectrum - they have middle school and high school campuses in Sherman Oaks and Culver City. Even if you live far away, there are ways to get bussed to the school and if for whatever reason, the school isn't right for your child, they can guide you as to where else to look. I have a son who is high functioning autistic and he goes to their school in Culver City. The HELP Group has been a big support for me and our family. You can look on their website at www.thehelpgroup.org or call them at 877 944 3588.

Hi, D.,

I was a secondary (junior and senior) high school teacher for more than ten years. I just wrote you a very long letter which was wiped out when I hit the send button. (I am having problems with Internet!) Please feel free to call me at ###-###-####.

L. E

I have a son with Aspergers--we have not gone through the transition to middle school yet, but I think you should try to find some parents with children in the school to talk to before you get freaked out. You also might want to try meeting with the vice principal at the new school to discuss your son's needs; the attitude of the school staff is also important. Other people mentioned that reviews tend to be negative, and I agree. The year before last a district representative hosted a parents' forum at our elementary school to get feedback about special education. My son's specialist asked me to be there to help balance the negative feedback; when I got there I realized that indeed the only ones who had bothered to show (besides me) were the parents who were unhappy. The parents who felt their children's needs were being met by their IEPs didn't come! So the feedback you read is very likely skewed toward the negative. In the meantime, you might feel better if you take positive steps to help your son adjust (maybe take him by the school before classes start to walk around the campus, maybe meet a couple of his teachers if possible). I wish you and your son all the best; he is very lucky to have you looking out for him!

D.,
I am an Adapted PE Specialist in a local school district (I teach students with moderate to severe disabilities PE). You will have the support for your son in JH most, if not all, of the districts have great special ed programs with support ranging from an aide to assist the student, to resource, to segregated classrooms. Your son can be in the same class as his general education peers and have known several students with Asperger's and mild Autism that were. You just have to be an advocate for your son and know your rights! You have a lot of rights!!! Hopefully your son will be going to JH with the same students he was in Elementary school with so it won't be a major change but JH is hard. Ask the Special ed department if he can have an aide with him for the first few weeks during transition times to help him along and for security and then he can be slowly weened from this.

Good luck!
M. P

Hi D.!

My step son has Autism and is in high school now. I must say jr. high was great, he did really well and stayed with the same teacher for 3 years. He would have some mainstream classes such as PE, art, and conputer. It was great because he really did make friendships being with basically the same group of kids for a couple years, and his teacher got to know him really well. I was very happy with jr high. I think it is a good adjustment.

I am assuming you have IEP's, do you have North County Regional Center involved at all? It is a free service, they evaluate and make decisions. They attend IEP's as well.

The most diffiult thing is high school! That has been super hard, he will be a sophmore this year, and froshman year was really difficult, there is SO much more freedom for them which can be a good thing, depending on the severity of your childs condition. Puberty was really hard, so many girls barely wearing clothes, boys and girls kissing, holding hands........

Our son is shadowed as well, he is not even allowed to use the restroom alone, and this sort of shaowing was not necessary in jr high.

May the Lord be your strength and lead and direct you for the best choices for your son!

D.,

I have a girlfriend who's son has been diagnosed with Aspergers and is now going into Middle school in a few weeks. Just tonite, she mentioned having a "transitioning" meeting with the old principal and her new school team. They have teams for special needs kids. In her case, it was unbalanced medications, causing irrational behavior in the classroom. They structured a plan for her child and he is doing very well. It's called an IEP. Call the District Office at your school, they should be open even though school may not be in session yet. Get the team on your side and they will help transition your child.
Have a great school year!!

Best of luck,
Shell

Hi D.,
My best friend's son has Aspergers. He is now in middle school. He had an IEP done in elementary and middle school. Her son does have problems with some kids once in awhile - all kids do at some point - but she addresses those as needed with the school. All in all her son is doing great in middle school - top in his class, lots of friends, joining activities. As long as the school is willing to work with you, give it a try. I'm sure your son's friends from elementary school will be there too and that will make the transition easier for him. If you find it's not working out after a few months, then try to transfer to a more suitable place.

Also, I found out that the middle school in my neighborhood has a summer program for the new kids in the school to help get them accustomed to the school. See if your school has this. It might help make it less scary for you and your son.

Good luck!

I have not been through this with Asbergers, but my daughter has a learning disorder which is covered by the same state and federal law. It has taken a great deal of effort and follow-up on my part to get my daughter's needs accommodated. It was much easier in elementary school. If you haven't already, educate yourself on your child's legal rights under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. I know this might seem ridiculous, but I have found this information essential in being an effective advocate for my daughter. If you live in Southern California please and are interested please message me and I will hook you up with a class schedule. I have had to go head to head with the school to get her needs met. I could not have done this without understanding her legal rights.
Good luck with your challenge, and I do hope that your school proves more responsive than ours was.

My daughter is "normal" and I had this experience when she went to middle school here in torrance. I was dreading it and while it turns out I was dreading it for bad reasons (the school is fine, not great but it's fine), I was right to dread it. Jr High/middle school is the worst thing that has ever happened to my child, and if I ever have any more children, I will home school them for middle school instead of sending them to that drama filled nightmare. (Watch Mean Girls, times it by 50, and that's middle school/jr high)...

I think if your child is IEP, you'll be ok, but you will probably not have a hard time getting a transfer to the best school in the district for kids with "disabilities". Find out which school in the district is best for kids in your son's situation, and ask for a transfer to that school. You'll have to drive him yourself, but you'll have the peace of mind that comes from knowing he is in a good place.

I don't think you'd have any chance of an Interdistrict Transfer when there is IEP money involved. But, an "In the district" transfer shouldn't be too hard. Just go into the District Office ASAP so it can be processed before school starts!

Best Wishes to you and yours!

Huggles!!
~S.~

My daughter has Asperger's and did fine in elementary school with an IEP and an aide. She starts middle school in a few months and I'm sending her to a different middle school than her sister. It's much smaller, less noisy and she loves the campus. Her friends (non Asperger) from elementary school are going there as well. Her aide will not be in the classroom anymore, but will work with her teachers behind the scenes. She's really excited and I found myself relaxing quite a bit. Good luck.

I have not been through that personally. Regarding reviews though - keep in mind that normally you see more negative reviews than positive because when you have a good experience you tell 10 people, when you have a bad experience you tell 100 people (I think that is the old saying). Have you talked w/the principal yet about your situation? Worse case scenario - the school doesn't work out, then you find a different school or even homeschool if that is an option for you.

Things will work out, they always do! (-:
M.

You'll want to definately know about an organization called TASK: Team of Advocates for Special Kids. Their home office is in Anaheim, (866) 828-8275 (toll-free in California). They are AMAZINGLY wonderful and compassionate people and will gear you in the right direction. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS. They recently gave me a Phone Book sized documentation of all the laws in California that protect your son. Please call them and ask for advice. You'll be glad you did. They also have workshops for a very nominal fee, sometimes free, and have Satellite offices all over Southern California. Call, call call, and get involved.