Are You Remarried with Kids? Last Name Question

Updated on August 26, 2011
E.T. asks from Carrollton, TX
17 answers

If you had kids, got divorced, and then remarried, can you please tell me how you did your last name? Did you get rid of your previous last name (the last name of your children) all together, hyphenate, or something else?

TIA!!

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T.L.

answers from Detroit on

I took on my second husband's last name. My daughter who was from my previous marriage, kept her dad's name. We never had any issues with it:)

3 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I used my new husbands name. The kids had their name. It seems like everyone has mixed families these days so it doesn't matter anymore.

1 mom found this helpful

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C.W.

answers from Orlando on

I am remarried and I have a 5 year old from my previous. My issue was with changing my last name when I was remarried. I didnt like the idea of having a different last name than my daughter. However, we are pregnant with baby #2 and now it doesnt really seem to matter as one or the other, we would not all share the same last name. I finally got over it and switched over to my husbands. My daughter is actually upset that she cant change hers to match ours. If her biological father were nowhere in the picture we would probably hyphenate her current last name with my husbands. But her father would be dead set against that so we havent brought it up. No matter her last name, she is ours and we love her and my husband treats her as if shes his. Right now hes reading Fox in Sox to her (their bedtime routine together).

2 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I haven't changed it yet because I own my own biz and its all under my ex husbands last name. So I asked the bank if I legally hypen it if I can accept checks that come under either name and they said yes. I also have a step daughter and someone at her school assumed I was a babysitter because we didn't have the same last name...huh??? So that is what I'm going to do, hypen. Good luck with what you decide to do!

1 mom found this helpful

A.!.

answers from Detroit on

I got rid of it quickly and in a hurry! LOL..

1 mom found this helpful

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

My kids from my ex have thier dad's last name. I kept my married last name until I got remarried, then I took my husbands last name. Our two kids with him have his last name. There is no hypen, I feel it would be kinda a slap in the face to my husband now to keep my ex's also, even if it was for the kids sake.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My mom waited until both me and my sister were married to get remarried even though they had been living together for 6 years. She said she wanted to have the same last name as us. I thought it was silly she waited so long, the same last name is not what makes you family. I would change my name, but keep my kids names as they are.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

When I got divorced I went back to my maiden name. I am now remarried and still use my maiden name. After 10 years I'm finally thinking of switching to my married name though. I don't think I would have kept my ex's last name for the sake of my kids even if it was a seperation/divorce under better terms, especially after being remarried.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

My SIL divorced her first husband, they had 2 sons together. They have his last name, she went back to her maiden name when they divorced. When she got remarried, she took her new husband's last name. My MIL has been married and divorced 3 times. Every time she got married, she took the man's last name and but when she got divorce #3, she went back to using the last name of her second husband (whom she had been married to the longest).

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My mom took her husband's name. When I was younger, she had her maiden name and we had our father's name. Now that she's divorced from our stepfather, she's kept the name because she says she's tired of the paperwork. It really isn't a big deal to be different than your kids unless you make it. I know other families where Mom never changed her name and the kids aren't hyphenated and it works.

The kids can legally change their names at 18 if they so choose.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

When my mother remarried to my step father she took his name.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.

answers from Augusta on

not remarried my self but when my mom remarried she dropped her my fathers (her ex) name all together. I kept my dad's last name

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

When I married, I took my original last name (maiden name) as my middle name, then took my husband's last name. When we divorced, I kept the name. It is the same as my daughter's, my two stepkids that I raised, and the name I've been known as professionally for 25 years. It's also easy to spell and pronounce. I don't have any intention of remarrying, but if I did, I would keep my name.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Norfolk on

My husband and I are both children of divorce and our mothers handled it quite differently. My biological father.... left the scene not long after the divorce was final. My mother and I both changed our names to her maiden name. Years later, when she remarried, I began using hers and her husband's last name. I had it officially changed through the courts when I was 16 because I didn't want a last name on my driver's license that was different from my brother's.

My Mother In Law has never changed her name from her first marriage though she has been remarried for nearly 20 years.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

the 2 ladies i know in this situation put their first married name (kids' last name) as their middle name and took their new husbands last name.

So
Abby Patty => Abby Darling => Abby Darling Chambers

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I kept my married last name when I divorced. It was easier since I have a child in school. I remarried and still kept my ex name. It wasn't any problem for my new husband. He wasn't hung up on a Title so to speak. It has never been a problem.

If you are getting remarried, sort it out with the future hubby. What makes the best sense in your situation is what you do.

I am me no matter what you call me. Just because I don't have his last name doesn't mean I love him any less or show any disrespect. He met me with that last name, fell in love with me with that last name and married me with that last name.

I read that someone changed their name when they got remarried because they were going to have more children with that man. I didn't have that to consider. I wasn't having any children with the new husband.

Cheers!

J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I took my husband's last name. He adopted my daughter, then she changed her last name.

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