When first married, me and Hubby did that to a certain extent. We had very.... emphatic fights and conflicts.
We did counseling too. Not much help.
NO fighting, is NOT good for the kids. Any kid.
My Daughter, got affected by our fighting. I am not proud of that.
I have now been married 13 years... and for the most part... we 'matured' and grew up.
My Hubby had a temper too... which, on his own and my demanding it... he has improved. Mostly also because, HE wants to improve, himself.
It you are a 'perfectionist' and 'critical' (which my Husband is and was)..... it makes it REAL REAL hard, on the other Spouse... and they shut-down. I know, because I was on the other end.... and that is what I did. Then the person on the end of a perfectionist/critical person... gets real angry and it paralyzes them... because then NOTHING is ever good enough... for the other Spouse. It is REAL hard.
So, YOU have to work on yourself too.... self-improvement. Otherwise, it will affect your Husband further and your kids.
It is hard... being around a "perfectionist" and a 'critical" one at that.
AND... it takes a LONG time, for the other Spouse to then "trust" the Perfectionist/Critical Spouse... and to feel that they are NOT walking on "egg-shells" constantly.
It takes time... because the "legacy" you have instilled in your Spouse (ie: that you are perfectionist and critical) takes UNlearning that response.... and then being able to 'trust' that that person, will not be that way.
My sibling is like that too.. perfectionist and critical.... and it is nearly impossible, to please her.
Because nothing, is ever, good enough.
I am not dissing you... but just explaining what it is like, for the other person/Spouse... who is at the short end, of the stick.
It is workable... but you both need to work on self-improvement... NOT just pointing blame and irritations on each other. SELF-Improvement.
AND... especially if you do NOT want it to affect, your child.
THAT has to impact both you and your Husband. Or, your child will grow up learning Dysfunctional ways of socializing.
all the best,