31 answers

Appropriate Thank You for Large Gift of Money

Hi, My husband and I just received a very generous cash gift from a family friend to help us in the purchase our first house. I've never been given such a large cash gift from outside the family before and I want to find an appropriate way of saying thank you (they live in a different city). I'm concerned that if I give an elaborate bouquet of flowers or something expensive, they might feel that we are being careless with our money (and we need every penny!). A card alone doesn't seem like enough. Any suggestions? Have you had experience with this on either end? Thanks so much for your help!

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I personally love Halmark. It's not to expensive but you can find sentimental thank you gifts that are meaningful and wont look like you spent to much.

How about if you send them a nice basket of chocolate chip cookies (or whatever they would like) once a month for a year or two? That would help them to know that you haven't forgotten their generosity!

I think a very appreciative letter would be very welcome. From the heart explaining how much it means to you and how much you value their love and assistance.


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I know it may sound strange but how about planting a tree in your garden in honor of them. Then send them a nice picture of your family with the tree.

When my husband and I got married we befriended the owners of the country estate where we had the reception and after the wedding they took the plants and bulbs from our center pieces and planted them in a little garden just for us to show us how special they found our wedding. It is one of the lovliest things anyone has ever done for us and we love to go and visit 'our' garden when we visit them. They send us little notes about how it's growing just like our family is. It's incredibly special and I think something like that for your friends would be lovely.

Congratulations on your new home. x

1 mom found this helpful

You said it was for a new home? How about a thank you card with pictures of you in it?? LOOK! Me and hubby in OUR front yard! YAY! LOOK! Me and hubby in OUR kitchen! WOOHOO! Look...oh wait, sorry, not gonna show you THAT picture of us in OUR bedroom! *wink* LOOK! Our children sleeping in THEIR rooms! Thank you for making OUR dreams come true, we couldn't have done it without you!
Believe me, it will bring a tear to their eye and they will know exactly how you feel. =)

1 mom found this helpful

Hi N.!

Wow, what blessing for you and your family! I have an idea for you. You could send them a thought rock, and get one for yourself as well. It is a pretty "rock" small enough to keep in your pocket, that says "I am thankful for..." The idea is that you keep it with you to remind yourself to be thankful for all that you have. You could send them one and tell them that you got one for yourself as well, and they are on the top of the list of the things you are thankful for! Just an idea, here is the website: www.thoughtfulthinking.com

Best Wishes!

How about a photo montage of you and your family enjoying the house that their gift gave you the opportunity to enjoy ? A picnic in the back yard under a tree, or a run through the sprinklers or the husband up on a ladder hanging the drapes or someone taking it of both of you as you point " a little to the left, no a little to the right..... If you have had a birthday party there or a holiday meal gathering, then maybe a picture of the table and everyone sitting around smiling. Maybe a picture of the hubby with the kids asleep on the couch or all gathered together with popcorn for a movie night. Maybe also one of your office/work space, even if it's messy, since you work out of your home. Heck, even sleepyheads in pajamas can be fun picks saying we are having sweet dreams and sleeping well in the beautiful gift that you gave us. Don't know if you have any pets but a picture of Fluffy in a favorite window or Fido in front of the fireplace kind of completes the family circle. Then you are just out the cost of the film, the processing, the frame, and the postage, yet they really get to see how much you appreciate the gift. Just some ideas, but I am sure that you will come up with more.

Good luck,

Hi N.-
What a blessing! Lately, my husband and I have been blessed with one anonymous gift that paid a long time debt and another gift from my parents- unasked for- to help us pay a second debt. They also, in turn, when I was growing up, received a large sum to help them purchase their first home. What I can say is that there is not enough gratitude in the world for people who have and are willing to help those in need. It's a gift that can most certainly never be repaid except by your continued efforts of good stewardship and responsibility.
The first thing I would say to do is write a hand written, heartfelt thank you note. Let them know what a blessing they are to you and your family. Take a photo of the house, of your children and your family in the house, and tell them how they helped make this possible for you. YOu don't need to drip and ooze thaks every time they come- a truly grateful heart is evidence enough. As for a gift, have your children make them something they can put on their refrigerator- a magnet frame with puffy cut outs, pieces available at your local craft store- and a picture of them in their new yard or bedroom, etc. Make sure they are on your Christmas card list, etc. They are now a part of your extended family even more so.
THe last thought is to - once you get your home in order - invite them over for a light dinner with the family for the next time they are in town.
I hope this helps- and am very excited for you!
-E. Mc.

You say they live in a different city, but is it near enought for you to invite them to a nice dinner in your new home sometime after you've moved in?

I think a very appreciative letter would be very welcome. From the heart explaining how much it means to you and how much you value their love and assistance.


Wow we are actually in the same situation. Please let me know if you get a really great idea for a thank you. If you dont mind sharing. I do love the idea of something to do with pictures

I liked Helen's idea! Pictures of you enjoying your home, taken especially to sent to your friends is personal and heartfelt. Could do it in a small photo album, have the kids help make a sweet card. Congrats!

Pay it forward!
Let your family friend know that they have inspired you to do something wonderful for some one else in need. Think of what you can do for a local charity or family in need. We all have something to give and it doesn't always have to be a monetary donation. Be creative and get your family involved. Be sure to thank your generous friends for reminding you how fortunate you are and how much you have to give.
Good Luck,

A letter/card explaining in detail what the gift meant to you and your family is probably the best thanks you could give. My friend who's struggling financially recieved $300 from a sort of anonymous person and she wrote back that she used the money to stock her freezer with meat, diapers and formula and how that helped her out so much through the tough time - the donor wrote back saying he/she was so happy the gift was put to good use and felt my friend was so deserving of it.

Include the dreams you have for your future that are now possible because of the gift.

I think anyone giving something wants to know the recipient's life has been changed for the better because of it and that the person knows it and appreciates it.

Good luck to you!

I think a nice thank you card with a lovely, personal note of appreciation is appropriate. An elaborate bouqet of flowers is a waste....they just die!

Hi N.,

I feel a nice card thanking them and letting them know how grateful you are for the generous gift and how thankful to have them in your life is a great way to thank them.

I would send them something special on a special day of their"s and something they can look at and remember you.

Good luck

N. Marie

I personally love Halmark. It's not to expensive but you can find sentimental thank you gifts that are meaningful and wont look like you spent to much.

Even though they live in another city you could send them a nice basket of homemade baked goods, with a nice personal photo made card of you and your husband, it is usually the reciever that worries about repaying with such a big thank you, but really when a giver wants do something for someone like that a simple thank you and praise from their higher power is more than enough, :)

How about a nice scrapbook full of pictures of you packing, moving day, and your new home once you're moved in? If you are into scrapbooking, then you can do a paper album with special paper, stickers and the like, or if you're not an experienced scrapbooker, then try a digital album (they can print them up in hardbound books that come out beautiful!). For a small album you're probably looking at $50 and it will last a lifetime. A good scrapbook consultant can help you get it done in 1-2 days. Send the scrapbook with a nice letter, and your friends will love it and know you truly appreciate their gift!

Good morning,

Take the time to sit down and write a heart felt letter. Really sit there and let it sink in what an amazing gift this is and share your thoughts of gratitude. These folks sound like they don't want you to spend money on them but they will certainly appreciate your gratitude and seeing the positive effect they have on your family. Good for you!


Maybe you could invite them over for a weekend (or evening) in your new home and cook them a fancy dinner as a way of saying thank you. It doesn't cost too much to make a steak and crab dinner at home, but it is something most people do not have very often. Another idea, if they really like wine or a special liquor you can always send that to them.

Good luck.

I think a card expressing your appreciation is best. But, continue to communicate with this person throughout the years - send pictures of your kids, Xmas cards, Birthday cards, etc. Another option is to make a quick bread and ship it or take it over. Good-luck.

How about if you send them a nice basket of chocolate chip cookies (or whatever they would like) once a month for a year or two? That would help them to know that you haven't forgotten their generosity!

I think a nice appropriate thing would to be to invite them over to your new house for a nice BBQ or dinner that you would make for them to show them your appreciation. Send an invitation just to them either with a thank you card or seperately. I think that would show them that you appreciate the help very much but are not being frugal with your money. Also, it will give them a nice memory to have instead of just a bunch of flowers that wilt away, a memory will last forever!

I am not sure how far away they live, but what about having them over for dinner to thank them? That way that can see your new house. I know not much, but just a suggestion. =)

I agree that spending money on them doesn't make sense. I think a card inviting them to a nice dinner once you move into your new house fits(whenever they plan to be in your area) also including a nice family photo in front of the house they helped make happen.

How about a portrait of your family in front of your new home, beautifully framed with a thank you card?

Hi N.,

Perhaps everyone could collaborate on a piece of art. It could be a painting, a collage (use photos of your family and the house) or simply decorate a watering can or something of that nature. The time and thought you all put into it will be much appreciated - especially if paired with a thoughtful thank you.


There is a place in Vacaville that makes fruit and chocolate bouquets. The name slips my mind @ the moment. It's by the outlets. You can check there, if you like. You can also write a letter just letting them know what it all means to you and your family. Sometimes there are no words that can express how we feel. How we act with what we get, can speak volumes. Good luck and continue to be grateful, even for the little things.

How about a scrapbook of you with your new home...moving in, getting all settled, sitting around the dinner table, out in the yard planting stuff, etc. I did something like that for my mother in law and she still says it was the best gift she has ever received. Mine was only a few pages long, and started with a phrase like "thank you for being such a big part of our lives..." and then each page had different ways she has been a part of our lives. Good luck and congrats on the house!

I would suggest having them over for a wonderful dinner / celebration when you move into the house. Invest a lot of time painsakingly creating this great meal (example, make stuff from scratch, etc.). This effort, althought small will show how apreciative you are.

What about planting a tree in their honor in your yard. Name the tree after them and tell them everytime you see the tree, it will remind you of what wonderful friends they are.

When you buy your house, I would take a photo of your family in front of it and have the photo framed (even better if you could have Thank You inscribed on the frame) for them.

If you haven't already, I would call to offer personal thanks for the special gift.

Hi N.,

You have a very generous friend. I suspect you and your husband must be special people too. A hand written letter of thanks right away is the right thing to do. Your friend probably understands that you don'w have any extra $$ right now. Once you are moved in to you new home, depending on how far away your friend lives, you could invite her/him for a special meal and maybe even the weekend or overnight if you have a guest room.

Maybe someday you and your husband can help another couple with a similar gift.

I recieved a new car from my son and mother on Christmas 2007....I was completely blown away and let them both know how much I loved and appreciated what they did for me, in person, with letters and over the past couple of years doing special things for them.


Hi N.
Well , once you move into your new home, you could put together a care package of little thank yous that add up to one huge thank you. For example, have your children make homemade cookies , wrap them in a nice sullivane paper with a gorgeous ribbon, then ask your kids to draw pictures of them of playing in the new home , include actual photos as well. Perhaps include little specialties from the area that are shippable...
good luck to you!

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