Anyone Read the Book "Babywise?"

Hi R.,

I have not read the book, so I may be speaking out of turn, however, I currently am enrolled in an anatomy and physiology class and know that after anyone eats, your body needs to divert energy, so to speak, to digest. Most people do slow down after eating, you are supposed to!
Your baby is 4.5 months old for heavens sake, he will eat when he is hungry, on HIS schedule- that his body needs. He will gradually, with your assistance develop a schedule for sleeping and eating.

It does not matter if he eats upon waking or before sleeping, in my experience. Childhood obesity, in my opinion, is not caused by WHEN you feed your baby, but by the lack of physical activity kids get and the fact that parents give their kids a diet that is mainly if not entirely processed foods full of high fructose corn syrup, white sugar and flour, sugar alcohols, artificial sweeteners, trans fats, and chemicals. They eat very little real actual food that hasn't been processed or chemically altered/enhanced.

He gets awake and cries until you give him a bottle at night because he is hungry! My mom told me: read a lot of books with all different and opposing theories, learn all you can, keep it in mind, but take it all with a grain of salt and then toss out the books and just be a mom .... you KNOW in your heart how to best take care of your baby. Relax and enjoy this time, it goes so fast and you can't get it back!

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I agree with Heather, the previous poster. I have read terrible reviews about the "Babywise" book, although I have not read it myself. Could be that those methods are for an older baby. A young baby needs comfort, needs to be fed on demand, and needs held, snuggled and have all of his needs met by you, so that he can feel secure and safe. Maybe he is exeriencing anxiety from the new routine? Small babies can't be expected to sleep for long hours. This is a little baby, and sometimes us as new parents have to remember that babies have their onw schedules, and that means ours may be disrupted. I believe that book has very high expectations for a young baby. Maybe you could try to incorporate some ideas from the book with instincts and ideas of your own to strike a natural balance. A 4month old baby is still learning he can depend on you to meet his needs - and often this means trying to anticipate what he wants before he has to cry for it. Babies can get lonely, frightened, scared. I don't know all of the methods in that book, but have read that some of those methods can provoke those kinds of feelings in a baby.
And yes, feeding is a comfort measure, so is sucking, holding, snuggling. Childhood obesity is caused by lack of exercise, sweet sugary drinks, and lack of nutritious foods. I think you have a couple years to go before you worry about that.
I would try to relax the schedules and routines, and lower your expectations of what a baby should be doing at this point. Then you won't feel pressured to make sure everything is going right all of the time. You could also read Dr. Sears website for more help.
A friend of mine once reminded me - Babies are not tiny manipulative beings that are here to make our lives harder. They are a miracle that we are given and blessed with - and we have to change our lives for them, to make them happy, healthy, secure. Trust YOUR instincts, not some author who doesn't know YOUR baby.
I hope this helps some. I know it may not be what you expected or wanted to hear. Good luck!

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R.,

I have only read a couple of your responces and everyone is entitiled to their opinion. I have read babywise and have found it to be enlightening. Now please know that everything I read and hear from others I take with a grain of salt. I do whatever I feel is needed by my child. I have a son who is 6 months old. First things first ... don't concentrate on the obesity thing ... he is only 4 1/2 months old ... no need to worry about that now! When my son was 4 months old I started him on cereal, vegetables and fruits (gerber stage 1). My son doesn't take scheduled naps yet. He will fall asleep around 10 (that means anytime between 930A and 1130A) and will sleep from 30 mins to 90 mins. and then again around 2P and then again around 5P. Some days he skips naps altogether. I do agree with the pattern of Feed, Wake, Nap. That works for us. The only time we don't follow that pattern is at bedtime. He gets his bath, has a bottle and then goes right down. One thing you need to get out of is the middle of the night feedings. They are definitely "comfort" feedings, that is why he isn't eating much! Also ... another thing. He might be going through a growth spurt and that is why he wants to eat every hour or two. It shouldn't last for more than a week!

Hope this helps. If you don't get any advise that works, just call you ped.

Well, I haven't read the book - I can only speak from personal experiences and from those around me. Your baby is very, very young still! Don't worry about rushing him too much. (Before you know it he'll be grown and you'll be wishing for those times when you could hold and comfort him.) Babies have a natural schedule. If you watch for his own natural cycles you'll probably see that your son has one of his own. Every baby is different and he knows what he needs, like when he's hungry or tired. Trying to fit him into your idea of a schedule is going to leave you both tired, frustrated and anxious. Scheduling his eating and his sleeping could leave him feeling like the person he needs and trusts the most doesn't understand him and I've even seen it leave other children severely under weight. Once I "gave in" to that idea I realized that my daughter's own schedule was much easier to maintain because it was natural - I didn't have to try to do the right thing b/c she already knew what was right for her. Don't even think about things like obesity right now, just trust that when the time comes you'll offer him healthy food options and proper eating habits. Right now it's just about nourishment. No matter what some people say sleeping through the night usually comes quite a bit later than where you're baby's at now (but is different for every baby.) You've got a tough 24 hour job, but it comes with great benefits and get's easier when you decide to just go with the natural mother/baby flow. Let go of the expectation that he's going to sleep through the night, know that there's nothing you or he is doing wrong by waking and you'll make it through. Going through that time was so exhausting for me and I longed for the day when I would wake up actually feeling rested. But, looking back I don't remember how hard it was, I remember the size of my daughter in my arms, her round little eyes in the quiet dark of night, and I treasure it as fleeting, special time that I had the chance to share with her w/o the distraction of everyday things. My mom suggested cereal to me, too, but it is NOT reccomeded by pediatricians and I did not use it. One reason is that his digestion isn't ready for it. The most important reason is that he needs the nutrients from his milk/formula - not just to feel full. The objective is to keep your baby healthy and get him everything he needs, not to get him to sleep longer for you. I did give my daughter a pacifier to sleep with and a bottle before bed for a very long time. (Her weight is normal, too.) Both of these things can easily be phased out when they are older but before they are of a certain age where they become very "opinionated!" Those things might help to comfort him a little, and sometimes he might just need to be held by his mom, to feel safe and nurtured. He does need lots of comfort now, he's only been here for a short while, just think of how crazy all of this is for him! And he'll need comfort for a very long time and it's you he'll need it from. Try to enjoy these times, although it may not seem like it now lots of things will only get harder. Be grateful that he still wants you to hold him, that you don't have to chase him EVERYWHERE yet, that he's still very portable, that he doesn't scream for things in grocery isles. Be grateful that he knows that if he cries his mom will be there to give him what he needs. Also try reading other books - easy to find ones that helped me were "What to expect the First Year", "The Happiest Baby on the Block", "The Quick Reference Guide to your Child's Health." Don't worry too much, everything will fall into place for your family, this is a huge transition time for everyone involved and all these things are natural. Best of luck to you and yours.

Hi R.,
Looks like you are getting lots of input. Well here is my 2 cents. I didi read the book. I thought some of it was really good. I used it as a guide. I think babies need you to develop some sort of routine. I am not saying to let them cry or not give them a bottle. I think you should just develop a routine to help them have some sort of schedule. I have two boys that are as different as night and day. The first one NEVER SLEPT. It was awful. I felt like an awful mom. It was just the way he was. My second one was a wonderful sleeper.

I did give my children cereal and it did help them sleep better. I think it is great. I did not do the veggie thing until much later. Start with rice. Hope this helps just hang in there.

Everyone has their own opinions about babies and sleep. Personally, I think you need to follow your baby's lead. Babies need lots of holding, snuggling and comforting and it's hard to put that on a schedule. Babies are calmed by sucking which goes along with nurishment. I have a 3 year old and 22 month old. Both often fell asleep nursing when they were tiny. Both of my kids transitioned easily to falling asleep after a calming bedtime routine as they got older (bath, books, snuggles) and go to sleep awake and happily most nights. They are both skinny kids that eat well - we don't require they finish foods and don't reward with treats. Some days they are really hungry (growth spurts or busy days) and others they aren't as hungry. They are vegetarians and loves lots of fresh fruits and veggies along with plenty of grains and diary foods. Both kids are around the 15%-25% for weight and closer to 50% for height.

One of the most important things I learned with my kids is that they grow quickly and it isn't long before they want to just snuggle and rest with mama. Take advantage of that time when you have it. You can't spoil a baby. Your baby will settle into routines naturally - follow his lead whenever possible. Each baby is different just like each adult is and they have preferences too. Routines are very good for children, but remember to keep them flexible and be willing to adapt occasionally. When they are so little, their routine needs can change after only a week of a particular routine. Eventually they settle into longer lasting ones.

Hello, my advice to you is to put baby cereal in the formula. I did it @ 3 months with my daughter she's healthy & happy. Tall & thin i might add too. She was hungry. You say he awakes & eats then sleeps again. He's obviosly hungry! The dr's will tell you no cereal yet. Bull, try it & see!! Good luck!

Ok, I am a mom of two healthy happy boys. One 3 and the other 6 months. Stop reading books and listening to excessive advice. My son was the same way. If your child is not spitting up constatnly than he is taking in the right amount of formula. So he wants more give it to him. I have a great pediatrician who told me that. My son has been drinking 6 to 8 oz almost every two hours since he was two weeks old and he not obese spitting up and very healthy and right where he should be. Now with the sleeping have you tried on his tummy and or on his side. My son has been sleeping on his tummy since he was three weeks old and now sleeps through the night. Try the old ways that mom your aunt and grandparents, that is usually works.

I have heard some unfavorable things about this book. Maybe look for another resource.

Good luck!

That is a very dangerous book. The Ezzos are not child development specialists or pediatricians. The comment that a little baby is using his feeding as a comfort measure is extremely dangerous -- especially for a child as young as four months old. Children that young should be fed whenever they're hungry. Some babies sleep well, others don't, but at that age it's not uncommon for them to still wake every three or four hours in the night. It may be he is reacting poorly to the regimen forced on him by the Ezzos.

You can't make a child under 12 months old obese by feeding him at will. And a toddler who gets plenty of exercise and a good balanced diet with appropriate portion sizes will not have a problem with obesity either.

Check with your pediatrician, check with the American Association of Pediatrics, check with Penelope Leach (from Birth to Age Five), check even with the Sears's (attachment parenting isn't for everyone), check with the What to Expect The First Year folks.

If you read around this site and talk to other mothers, you'll learn that children that young have very erratic sleep schedules, and you can't manhandle these little babies into a schedule that the Ezzos try to decide for you because babies are all different. If you go to your baby when he cries, he will learn to be secure. If you feed him when he's hungry and hold him when he needs to be held, he will be fine. Eventually he'll settle down. Some children sleep, some don't -- but this is a function of temperament. The Ezzo's method won't make it better, but it may make it worse.

Penelope Leach has a very excellent section in her book on how to help little babies like yours fall back to sleep better.

Good luck, but please get rid of that book!

I have heard alot of good and bad things about that book. I have never read it though. I feel that we need to follow our baby lead to a point when it comes to hungar and sleep. It sounds to me like you had it better before you started this new routine. It also sounds like your son did too. He is prob using the feeding for comfort, but we as woman do that too.LOL. I would go with the flow and see what happens.

I've never read the book and I think the other responses are right. No child is the same as another. I have three and not one follows the same pattern as the other, they are all different and unique. My first son followed a schedule like you described from the book on his own accord. My daughter slept and ate on a totally different schedule like you describe that your son has set for himself. They are 8 and 6 now and they are both perfectly healthy. With my third, I let him set his own schedule. Now he is 14 months and is up about 7, nap about 1:00, bed about 9:00 and is eating in relativity to that schedule. It's not worth the stress to worry about things like this at his young age. Even babies who are obese when infants tend to even out once they start walking. Establish healthy eating and exercise habits and routines when he is older and has more understanding of the situation. Babies have very few options to comfort themselves at 4 1/2 months, be happy he has discovered an option, for some babies don't.

Hi R.,

I haven't read the book, but I can say that neither of my two children fell into a predictable nap habit until around six months or so. My second child, especially, refused to nap during the day. Around six months, she started to take good morning and afternoon naps and was consistently sleeping through the night. Do you have a good bedtime routine going (bath, quiet time, bottle, bed, for example)? Have you offered him a pacifier? Babies that young have a physical need to suck--maybe he just wants the comfort of sucking and not necessarily a meal. This is just from my experience, but I would focus on getting him eating on a routine and sleeping well at night. Then, observe when he seems tired during the day and try to get him to take routine naps. Try to keep things very consistent--that way, he'll figure out what he's supposed to do next. Sometimes it just takes some time. Good luck!

I have four kids and I used the methods in the book for my last two. It works within reason. I used the book as a guideline, but I did not take it to the extreme. When my kids were sick I deviated from the routine. You will probably have to start all over with your son. I think the method works, but use your own judgement. Nobody else knows your baby like you do.

I have read the book, I do not agree with it. I have also heard horrible reviews and results from it. There have been cases where parents followed the book so strictly that they would not feed babies when they wanted and they got very sick, at least one died. (That is not the books fault, it is the parents who could not use common sense to care for their child.)

Anyway, at 4 months old, you can't spoil a baby. Their wants are their needs. I have 4 children who comfort ate through infantcy, and all of them (10, 7, 4, and 2 yrs) are under the 50% for weight, but very tall (40-75%). my daughter (2) is actually only in the 12%. She is very healthy, just very thin. How and infant is built really does not have anything to do with how they look in 20 years. I know adults who are very thin that were big babies, and vice versa.

Instead of worry about putting babies on our schedule and meeting our needs and expectaions, we should really be focusing on meeting their needs and teaching them that we are there for them.

Hi R.! I have not read that book but my daughter will be 4 months on Sat. and she is sleeping through the night (from about 9pm until 7:30am). She was getting up a few times a night for a bottle as well so we started giving her a bottle right before bed (whether she was hungry or not) of 4 oz. of formula along w/ 1 tablespoon of rice cereal. Her belly is full for the night and she no longer gets up looking to eat. We've only been giving her the cereal at night b/c the doctor has not advised us to give it to her yet but her next checkup is coming in 2 weeks so we didn't think it would hurt her and it's been a huge help. My sister has 2 kids so she has been so helpful w/ giving me advice. I hope if you try this it works. Let me know cause it's been wonderful for us! Good Luck!

No I never read that book but if your baby is 4 1/2 months why dont you try some cereal in his bottle he will stay fuller longer even if he only drinks 2-3 ounces this will help him sleep longer some times all the answers are not in books. What works for one house may cause chaos in another I hope this helps