9 answers

Anyone Have a Teen Son/daughter That Is or Going to Be a Parent?

I am so lost right now. I just found out my son is going to be a father. I am so strict so at first I thought it was impossible. Come to find out the day I gave permission for my son to go somewhere to help babysit this happens. I even talked to the parent and was told she would be home the whole time. Well, she left to go to the store real quick. I am so shocked, I feel lost. They were thinking about adoption, but I really don't see that happening. The girl is almost 6 months! The school called me and told me cause my son was terrified. They are both only 15 and in 10th grade. Anyone have any advice?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Well..She had her ultrasound thursday and guess what its TWINS! Twin girls! they have decided to keep them. I am still in shock, but everyone keeps telling me it will be ok. I have been searching craigs list everyday for deals. Thanks for all of your responses. I need lots of prayers.

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Okay I was a teen mother, not 15 but 18 and my son was born 3wks after HS graduation. It was far from easy but aving my parents support me helped a lot. Just stick by them no matter what they decide and dont do for them but help them. My mom gave me the motto you made em you take em. I had to bundle him and take him everywhere and anywhere I wanted to go and she would not babysit for any fun stuff I wanted to do. I honeslty was never angry or bitter because it taught me so much but knowing that when I really did need her, or my dad, they were willing to show me how to make it happen..

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Okay I was a teen mother, not 15 but 18 and my son was born 3wks after HS graduation. It was far from easy but aving my parents support me helped a lot. Just stick by them no matter what they decide and dont do for them but help them. My mom gave me the motto you made em you take em. I had to bundle him and take him everywhere and anywhere I wanted to go and she would not babysit for any fun stuff I wanted to do. I honeslty was never angry or bitter because it taught me so much but knowing that when I really did need her, or my dad, they were willing to show me how to make it happen..

all you can do is help support him in their decision, i would also sit down with her parents to talk about it. they are just kids but now they are going to be parents and they are going to need help. the worse thing you could do now is turn your back on them. they are going to have to grow up and learn how to be responsible real quick but they are going to need your help doing it. (also there are lots of community garage sales going on so if they are going to raise the baby i would start hitting those)

I agree with the previous poster that you should sit down with the girl's parents and the kids and try to figure out what's best for everyone involved, especially the baby. I am not in your situation, but my younger brother's life took a terrible turn when his girlfriend got pregnant right before they broke up and she decided to keep the baby. It has been a nightmare for everyone involved. It sounds like you think adoption might be a viable option, if so, maybe you should encourage a discussion about with all involved parties. Just my opinion, but it is probably best for the baby in the long run. Even the most responsible 15 year-olds do not make good parents.
Good luck!

Wow - this must be one of the toughest situations for a parent with a teenage child. I have no experience personally with this, but I would really push for adoption. It can be such a wonderful blessing. If our IVF had failed this would be the situation we would be hoping for. There are people that will say to keep the baby; that is also an noble option but one or both of the grandparents must be able to support the kids until they become independent adults. It's a personal choice for each family and there is no one right answer. I'm OK with both, but I lean towards the adoption side a little.

That is an extremely difficult situation to be in. I agree that you should discuss the situation with the girl's parents. Adoption would probably one of the most difficult decisions the girl and your son would make but it would be best both for the baby and the parents. I know a few people who have used LDS family services. They would be a good group to contact to get information about adoption.

My niece just had a baby at 16. (she got pregnant at 15). Sit down with the girl's parents and see what they want to do and support all of them (your son, the girl and the family) whatever they decide. If she decides to keep the baby, then have your son get an after-school job and help care for the baby whenever possible. My niece and her boyfriend are happier for keeping their baby and have learned to take care and be responsible.
If you all choose adoption, as previously mentioned there are many good resources to help.

I do not have much advice, but if they ever decide on adoption, I am a good advocate for it and can share my wonderful domestic adoption story with the both of them. Maybe hearing how wonderful adoption is from the adoptive parent side will help them to open their hearts/minds to another alternative. We tried IVF and getting pregnant 8 years and then chose the adoption route. We are so blessed with a 4 year old daughter because of it.
There are many types of adoption that they may not know about. *Open (this is where the birth parents are activiely involved in the baby's life, but arent raising it)
*Semi-open (this is what we did) which is where the birth parents are given a letter and picture updates every 6 months until the adoptive child is 18 but do not maintain contact with the child or adoptive parents. This way, they know how their child is growing and progressing, for peace of mind. And then there is
*closed adoption, which is where there is absolutley no communication or contact once the adoption is made final. (This one isnt done as much.)

I would be more than happy to just share our story with them. We would even be interested in helping with the adoption, if that is what they decide on.

Amy, I do speak from experience I am a teen mom and just know it isn't easy. I am one of the few that ended up being successful but I have to say God made all the difference in my life. From the beginning I gave my life and put my situation in His hands. God never let me down and even in my darkest hour God took care of me and my baby. My advice would be support the two of them no matter what happens and if the young lady decides to keep the baby your son needs to step up and get a part time job and help support that baby but he definately needs to stay in school and graduate. They both decided to do a grown-up thing and now they both need to grow up quickly. You can email me privately any time. I will pray for you and your family.

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