Anyone Else Have a Breast Obsessed Toddler?

Updated on December 16, 2011
T.V. asks from West Orange, NJ
12 answers

I breastfed my son until he was two years old. I stay at home with both of my children. Since I've weaned my son he has been obsessed with my boobs! He likes to lay on them, hug them and he tries to stick his hand down my shirt but I won't let him. Does anyone else go through this? He was weaned about three months ago.

Can anyone suggest a way to get him to stop? Nothing seems to be working. It's annoying and embarrassing.

I figured I would add this since it's not such a freakish thing but my husband and I started calling our son Tyler the Twiddler lolol...behind his back of course :-)

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Y.C.

answers from New York on

Yes my daughter can't see nipples without "pinch" them, my husband now hides when he has to change, lol.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Most toddlers I've known go through this phase. Both with family and outsiders (it's a frequent thing preschool teachers and pediatric nurses have to gently "redirect" with their students/ charges.

Breasts are great things. They warm, soft, out there, and kinda fun to play with. "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow, everybody needs a bosom."

Even for children who were NEVER nursed, those who transitioned early (9-12mo, like my son) and those who followed World Health Org reccomendations (2ish)... toddlers like breasts. They're tactile, comforting (ever remember laying your head on your mom's chest as a child?), have a heartbeat behind them... in addition to the whole we dress them up in sparkly/lacy/pretty things, and hide them.... in addition to the whole jiggly factor of them (and excluding the whole sexual aspect at this age, but later on straight boys/bi girls/lesbians and hetero girls all get pretty entranced by them in our culture (in other cultures breasts are as sexy as elbows... meaning not at all).

And toddlers who did "extended" (aka normal for over 60,000 years, normal in this country until WWII, and still normal in most parts of the world) breast feeding are going through a double transition of normal curiosity AND "okay these aren't mine anymore".

ANYHOW working with kids, you just get used to moving their hand away and redirecting them.

Anthropologically speaking... cultures where breasts AREN'T tied to sex (like in many parts of africa and some tropical regions) kids play with them the same way they play with other body parts. I mean... how many times has your toddler stroked your arm? Or your thigh? ((A grad student friend of mine says the women SHE works with -in an area in central africa- struggle over their toddlers touching their THIGHS... which are HUGE sex objects in that culture. They get very stressed out about it, because it's SO inappropriate to have a child sitting on your lap (babies of course are different, but toddler KEEP trying to climb in their laps, how MORTIFYING!!!), or touching your thighs... but they're right at toddler height... etc.))

So don't stress too much. The sex part, we all just add ourselves. Toddlers are just toddlers, the world over... and have to be taught that an area is taboo.

3 moms found this helpful

K.D.

answers from Sacramento on

My oldest son is 21 months and still loves my breasts. I stopped nursing him at 9 months, he wouldnt take it when I got pregnant with my second son, who is now 3 months. It is perfectly normal for the attachment, especially if you nursed for so long. Its a total comfor thing. my oldest still outs his hand on my breast when hes sleepy, its ok. Now he pats it and says "baby num-nums" when I get ready to feed my baby :)

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

My son is not quite obsessed but loves them just the same. I nursed until he was 13months ... we went into Hooters for lunch one day (I love hooters) he was about 4 or 5 months old and his face just LIT UP! We went all the time so we knew a lot of the servers and the girls that would hold him had to give him back quickly because he was trying to get some milk from them too! He did the same to my sister, mom, friends and to this day (4) he is very comfortable with breasts. He has no problem getting cozy on a boobie I think he has lost some of his love for them as he has gotten older you just have to teach him boundaries and he will be fine as he gets older.

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P.M.

answers from Tampa on

He knows your breast as the ultimate source of love, comfort and safety - has nothing to do with obsession. Don't find it embarrassing or inappropriate, but feel free to teach him manners. Such as only touch while you are at home and with family, laying down his head on your chest is normal as is hugging your breasts. He loves you and loves the way you made him feel loved and safe when you breastfed him. He will outgrow it, don't worry. Then you will miss how he used to be.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Our son was only BF for about 6 weeks and he went through a phase where he was always trying to unzip my shirts and stick his hands down my shirts and he always would find any reason to say "boobs!!" It was his favorite word for a couple of years. I had to get really stern w/ him when he would say it in inapropriate places. He's now 4 1/2 and will only occasionally say "boobs!", not nearly as much as he used to, though. My point is, I don't think it has anything to w/ whether or not they were BF, it's just a kid thing and it IS a funny sounding word.

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A.F.

answers from Chicago on

My son was only nursed till 12 months -- BUT he too is boob obsessed -- in Church the other day he laid his hands on my chest and said "Boobies" nice and loud for the entire parish to hear *sigh* -- he is 2 years, 3 mos. Now I am 28 weeks prego with our 3rd and they have gotten a lot larger lately, plus he is contrasting that with the big belly where he touches and says "Baby Brother" so I am just hoping the boob obsession is a phase!

I would just tell him no and put him down when he does it until he stops. I was holding my son in church so there was nowhere to put him (we squeezed into a pew and each of our kids had to lap up with us). Good luck!

A.G.

answers from Houston on

I hear boys who werent breast fed are like this, they start young i guess.

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S.M.

answers from Detroit on

There are two answers to this question I think. First he was breast fed for two years, that is a long time (healthy) but a long time, I breast feed for a year. So this being a major comfort issue for him will take a bit of time for him to let go of.
However, this toddler - and breast obession is normal I think. My four year old has developed a renewed interest in my breast. But there are important factors to address, I think we should never shame our children about sex. I tell my little one that I know you are interested in my breasts and that is normal but you have to wait until you're married. Or I have told him, these are mine and their personal. You have parts of you that are personal too. And I tell him, I understand you are interested in them, but they are mine ok, so don't touch. I have been saying it over and over lately, and that is the way it is with kids. ....you have to say things over and over for a few weeks and then they learn. You gave your son a good solid foundation with breast feeding and there is some attachment issues here for him and then there is also normal curiousity...which breast are interesting to both boys and girls of this age. Normal.

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L.V.

answers from Dallas on

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh. My cousin's little boy was obsessed with boobs for a while, and he was bottle fed. He reached up and played my boobs like a conga one time when he was over. I was surprised to say the least, but I didn't think too much of it. She was horrified, LOL.

The only thing I can think of is just to calmly provide consistent consequences. And I guess have a talk with him about polite/rude behaviors. You might equate it to something he understands, like hitting. Something like, "Do you like it when someone hits you? Does it feel bad? Well, girls/Mommy feel(s) bad just like that when you touch their/my... whatever-you've-chosen-to-call-them." Play on his empathy and his sense of right/wrong, and be firm. Eventually he'll get the picture. Good luck!

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K.I.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Ha! I remember my DD was the same way and I think she stuck her hand under my t-shirt till she was almost 4 ! I stop breasthfedding her at 9 months so I don't think this was the issue, even her grandma that used to babysitting had to let her touch her ( this makes me really mad) but that's another history ,
just keep telling him no , I cant think on anything else has nothing work with mine but age...

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