Anyone Else Experience Husbands Freaked by Moving babies?(Pregnant)

Even some women I know feel the same way as your husband. One of my girlfriends (who now has 4 kids) found her own pregnancy mildly disgusting, and said frequently, "It's just so unnatural," and commented that the baby was a "parasite." When I was pregnant with my first child, I once grabbed the hand of my best girlfriend and put it on my tummy so she could feel. The baby kicked, and my friend jerked her hand away, saying, "Ooooh, gross! It's like 'Alien!' " Some people, no matter how excited they are about the baby find the thought of a living being inside someone's body to be disturbing. Just find ways to share excitement together, instead of wishing he felt differently.

Quite a few family members and friends never got excited for us when I was pregnant. (We have 4 kids.) During the pregnancies, all they wanted to talk to us about was what could go wrong, how expensive raising kids was, how we were too young and too poor, how we didn't need more... you get the picture. After the babies were born, and they were someone sweet to hold and cuddle, and they started being "my niece" or "my grandchild" instead of "your baby," THEN they got excited and adored the child. For some people, it's not "real" until the baby is born. That doesn't mean they don't love you or won't love the baby.

Congratulations! Enjoy your family and this happy time.

2 moms found this helpful

M.,
I understand completely! My husband was the exact same way. When the baby would move around when I was laying down I would push my belly into his back and he would get so grossed out. One night he even fell off the bed cause he said he had a nightmare that the baby kicked soo hard that it kicked him off the bed through my belly. What a weirdo. Its is rough when you are excited and he isn't, honestly men just will never understand the true miracle that is happening. Prepare yourself, if he is not excited about those little kicks child birth may freak him out even more. My whole delivery I had to ask my husband are you ok? Uh, hello I was the one giving birth. He said it doesn't happen like that in the movies?! After our son was born my husband went out into the waiting room with a blank look on his face and told his mother "oh my God, it was like a horror movie" While I on the other hand felt like things went reasonably well. I was the one that #1 had to push it out, #2 had a episioutomy, #3 had to have the vacuum thing applied #4 had the big needle in my back for the epidural. I was feeling "wow, miracle" and he was feeling "aagh, horror movie". So, this may be the beginning. We even took classes and read the books. I would suggest to do what ever you can to prepare both of you for that stuff.
Journal your feelings and experiences. It will be a silly story to tell your son when he is older. Enjoy the experiences this time brings, remember that your husband will never get to have them and it will be the start of a bond that only a mother will have with her child. Its kinda funny, my son is almost 11 months now and when he moves and stretches in my arms I can recognize the same little movements I used to feel when he was inside, if that isn't a blessing of motherhood I am not sure what is?
Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy!

1 mom found this helpful

My husband is an awesome dad to our two children but when I was pregnant he didn't have any interest in touching my belly. I've come to realize that men can't begin to feel the same way a woman feels when she has a growing life inside her. It's a shame but it's reality. Another thing my husband confessed to me during my pregnancy was that he found my pregnant body in no way desirable! Wow, that was a little hurtful but I appreciated his honesty. We just need to understand that they are different than us and we can't change them. Don't worry ...once he sees his baby, it will be love at first sight! (As opposed to you who is already in love with your bundle of joy!

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Yes, my hubby and I will be lying around and our baby boy will start to kick, so I grab his hand and put it on my tummy. He won't press hard so I'll push his hand down so he can really feel it, once he does, it freaks him out and he usually moves away from me, lol! He thinks it's weird and freaky! BUt, he's a GREAT father to our daughter!

1 mom found this helpful

I too am pregnant, and my husband has the same reaction. Maybe its a "guy" thing. I am not sure. Maybe they are just trying to get used to this "thing" growing inside of you. For some men I can see how that could take a long time to get used to. Just wait a few more months when he can just look at your belly and see your little one moving around! I hope he comes around and gets used to it, but I wouldnt get too down on him not getting as excited as you.Good luck, and congrats!

1 mom found this helpful

Have to admit it is a freaky concept. LOL Just talk to him and tell him it's his little munchkin in there and he wants to touch Daddy! It is so exciting for us because we wait so long to feel it, but imagine how foreign and wied for him?? If he is being supportive in other aspects don't push to hard, he will come around. In the meantime "I will feel your belly!!!" LOL I so miss that feeling. Uh Oh, did I just say that! So envy your excitement right now, I miss being preggo.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Meagan,

I'm 6 months pregnant with our second child, a boy too! :) My husband is really excited about having a boy, we have a little girl already but i've noticed too that he's not as excited about the kicks and the punches from our little man, which is completely natural. Don't let it bother you, we all express our joy differently. My husband isn't freaked out but he's just not as interested into it as I am. Being a mom, and being pregnant again is such a huge blessing. I know how our minds (especially now) can do tricks on us. Don't look so far into your husband's attitude he'll be completely overjoyed when your little boy arrives.

I'm sure you've been reading a what to expect/pregnancy book. I bought the new and update version of 'What to expect when your expecting' because mine was 5 years out of date and its like being pregnant for the first time again. :) well they have a website: www.whattoexpect.com and you can register to receive emails on whats going on in your pregnancy in each week. They also have an area for dads too. you can always read up on something and share it with your husband...like help to grow his excitement about your little one by sharing something you read, for ex. i'm in my 25th week and my husband can hear his heartbeat just by listening to my belly. Men show affection in their own ways. My husband is a rookie fire fighter and comes home exhausted from work every shift...so i understand that he's excited about the baby but just burnt out. I don't let it bother me...he's a man what can i expect?

But i'm extremely excited for you! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! :)

-S.

1 mom found this helpful

It looks like you have received tons of great advice already. I just wanted to share that I am now pregnant with #2 and my husband in both pregnancies is totally not into it. He doesn't even talk to the baby or talk much about the pregnancy. He gets a little turned off by the whole thing. That said, when our little girl was born, he turned into the best father in the world instantly. She is now 16 months and he is the most involved, fantastic daddy. I guess each guy is different....but he did definately turn around once the little one came into the world. Good luck with your pregnancy and the new baby!

1 mom found this helpful

He's excited for your baby to come! Have him talk to the baby more and enjoy that. Enjoy your baby boy's movements on your own (don't leave the room or anything but don't force your husband to feel him moving either). I loved feeling my baby boys move inside of me. Talk about that and he can enjoy the way it makes you feel without feeling it himself. Focus on what makes him excited and don't set yourself up for disappointment. Remember- he's excited about your baby too- let him be excited in his own way.

Congratulations!

1 mom found this helpful

My husband never had any problem feeling the moving babies in my pregnant tummy. He was also great about being in the delivery room and watching the business end of the birth. I know I couldn't handle a visual on that so I give him a lot of credit. However, my husband can't stand needles (left the room when the epidurals went in), won't touch my feet, and gets grossed out by all kinds of food (leftovers, stews that are too soupy, raw chicken, chicken bones that have been picked over, dark meat, etc.) ... so every guy has some weird hangup even if it doesn't make any sense to you. If he's genuinely happy about the baby and isn't repulsed by anything else, don't sweat it. (Being repulsed by poopy diapers doesn't get him out of changing them, however. My husband always tried THAT, too.) Relax, enjoy, feel good.

1 mom found this helpful

Your husband is not the only one freaked out by the kicks and movements. My husband was thrilled, but I was freaked out. The whole feeling something moving inside your stomach thing really gave me the willies. And when he got older and started leaving foot imprints and hand imprints on my stomach, it really super freaked me out. I don't know that you are going to convince him that the moving belly is not weird. But, if he's excited about the baby and supportive of you in other ways, is this really that important in the grand scheme of things?

Stop having him touch your belly. If it grosses him out, then respect that. I know that it is supposed to be a special thing when the husband puts his hand on the belly, but you can't have it all. Don't push it because you want him to have a good experience too.
Good luck!!

I think many people who have never been pregnant (or can never be pregnant) are grossed out by the concept of some alien being kicking around inside a woman's pregnant belly. Unfortunately, coming from a culture where nearly everyone has seen or understands references to movies like "Aliens" could easily be weirded out. My husband was one of them, and most of my un-married, non-mother girlfriends were totally freaked out by the movement, especially in the very active 6-7 months, when there was less room in there and the kicks became visible. Don't worry about it. He is totally excited about your baby, but is just weirded out by this seemingly unnatural and alien thing happening.

My Husband would not go near my belly. He said he gets flashbacks of Alien.
Got on my nerves.
He finally had to touch it when we took pictures together.
They are just freaked out sometimes.
Does he not like blood too?

Although my husband was into the baby kicking, he was kind of weird about other things and not really excited before my son (now 8 months old) was born. I think for men, at least when it's their first, it doesn't seem real until the baby is actually in their arms. Once my son arrived, my husband changed and now he's really involved and excited about everything our son does.

Oh don't worry, your Hubby is excited... but each person expresses it differently. YOU are the one who is pregnant... so you have a different "experience" with it.
I can see, how a tummy with a kicking baby in it, might jar some people, especially men. It's not as "instinctual" for them.
Don't worry... your Hubby IS showing his excitement in his own way... nothing is wrong with that. I have seen many men, who take time in "warming up" to the whole thing and bonding to the tummy king of thing. It's not unusual.

Just give him time, he will be fine.
Congratulations,
Susan

My husband was all freaked out by this too! Thankfully he was great in the delivery room and none of that freaked him out.

As for the preggo part, he used to REFUSE to even touch my belly and when he did in his sleep one night and got a swift kick from the baby he couldn't sleep the rest of the night. It was hilarious! Just relax, he is excited and he shows it differently. For him this kicking thing is more alien has taken over the wife's belly then awww a baby!

M. M

Congrats on your baby. You husband will come around, just give him time. First time fathers don't always feel comfortable in the beginning, he will become more curious as time goes by and he will truly be amazed. My ex could not keep his hands off of my belly when I was pregnant, it was a fascinating time for me. I got to watch my first born boy come into the world. It was fantastic and exciting once I didn't feel the contractions, my daughter slept through her delivery, and my youngest boy couldn't wait for the doctor to arrive.

When my daughter was pregnant with my grand-daughter and she went into labor, she had mixed emotions, however when my grand-daughter was born my daughter's first comment after my grand-daughter was born was "I created this?" She was in total awe about the whole experience, as you will be when the time comes to deliver your baby boy. The experience far out weighs the labor, as your son will spark some very exciting and pleasant memories for you and your husband. The above is just a few of the pleasant and exciting memories I have of my pregnancies, my children are now 29, 34, and 35 years old (respectively).

Again, Congratulations and good luck. Enjoy this time of closeness with your baby boy. He will learn much from your talking, reading, and singing to him.

I know I'm a rarity but I was the one who was grossed out. Yes, the whole Aliens thing ran through my mind as well as every sci-fi movie where something gross moves through their skin.
I was so sick and felt possessed, I was convinced that it couldn't be a real baby if it was that awful. I was actually surprised when I saw the ultrasound and he was a regular healthy little boy.
As long as he is excited about the baby, don't worry about it. My husband wasn't bothered by the baby moving but other random things gross him out, like tampons. I'm sure you'll be fine!
Good Luck

Haha, yes, I have three children and my husband has never been into the baby kick. I always hoped for the same enthusiasm too, but he always said it freaked him out and it was like an alien in my body! But, once the babies come he is all over them and a fantastic father. So...I guess everyone is different. But sometimes, I would just force him to feel the baby anyway! Lol.

sounds like he watches too many sci fi flicks, am i right? dont worry about it too much, hes just not used to something like this. if it really bothers you just keep telling him how you feel about the baby moving inside you and he might just change his mind about how he sees it.

We filmed a documentary last year and assembled about 40 dads in 6 different cities to discuss all they went through during pregnancy. A lot of the dads had differing reactions to the baby moving around. Same with watching the ultrasound and sex during pregnancy. All seemed to come to a better understanding and sensitivity by discussing it though. The film also covers dozens of other topics and the entire period from when you first see the plus sign on the stick through the baby's birth.

We get a lot of comments from women who were surprised at hearing guys talk openly about things they may not talk about at home. A lot of men have also written us that it was helpful hearing the experiences of guys who had recently gone through the process. Our goal was to provide an honest, open look at pregnancy from the guy's point of view so couples could watch it together and then be better able to talk about the transition to parenthood and to better support each other as a parenting team.

It's called "Being Dad" and you can find out more on the web site BeingDadUSA.com. We've also supplied several libraries and maternity centers, Barnes & Noble, and you can rent it on Netflix. I hope you get a chance to check it out.

If you decide to order a copy, enter the code THANKS25 in the shopping cart coupon box and it will take 25% off the bill.

I know this is going to sound weird but I think it reminds them of the movie Alien. My husband was ok with the little kicks but once when I was laying down the baby moved from one side to the other and and he got really freaked out. It was weird because this was his third and I thought he would be just used to this stuff.

For me somethimes it's hard to get enthusastic about things I'm not going personally going through, so maybe that is what is going on with your family. They are excited about you having a baby just can't get there everything, but when the big day comes and for all the days after there will be more excitment than you can handle.

I can't say that my husband has ever been freaked about feeling the baby move. What I can say is that his interest and excitement seemed to have decrease with each pregnancy. Even seeing the ultrasound didn't seem to be a big deal. I think he's made up for it by his extra special TLC for the two youngest (3years and 6 mos). Perhaps because their girls!!!

My oldest son, however, did have a hard time touching my belly when I was pregnant with his two sisters. It really freaked him out when he felt the older of the two sistes kick. He looked at my belly as if I had an alien in there. Now, he adores his sisters!

So, don't let how your husband reacts during pregnancy bother you too much. I'm sure he'll make up for it when your baby is born.

Some men are just that way. He is excited about the baby, and that is what counts. All of us have to meet people where there comfort level is. His is diffferent from most.

My hubby was the same too. The first child use to kick him in the back and he hated that. The 2nd child use to do flips if I laid on my back my stomach would roll in waves it was really wierd and very alien like. So I guess I can see why they feel that way. It is very diffrent for us because we have felt it growing in their even when we really couldn't feel it.

At least he talks to your belly and is excited in other ways. My hubby egnored it completely he just couldn't get into talking to my belly or touching it. He was fine with the birth, was their for all 3 and couldn't stop talking about how awesome it was to see this miracle. So you never know how they will respond.

But these kind of things will happen through out your childs life. You will bond in your way and he will bond in his. I'm very close to all my kids they can tell me anything and I will explain or talk to them as a friend instead of an adult. I don't get upset when they joke around. Where my spouse only talks down to them as an adult, and there is no joking with disrespect to him. I'm not saying they are disrespectful kids, here is an ex-sample: ( We live in Corona/Eastvale where the dairies are. So occasionaly it stinks. We were driving home Saturday night and we all got the poof of smell in the nose, my daughter jokingly said, ohhhh Dad! He jumped down her throught for accusing him of the smell when the whole car new it was the cows). What I think is a sweet moment when the kids are singing songs or playing together he thinks they are just being to loud and rude. So learn to enjoy what you think are sweet moments, cherish them because different things mean different things to all of us.

As for your family, maybe they are just uncomfortable with touching your belly or think you might be uncomfortable with it. Remember it's different for everyone. I love touching bellies, but I can't just walk up to everyone pregnant and start rubbing. They will be excited when the baby is here.

Good luck hope all goes well. J.

Leave him alone. He will do it his way and by placing expectations on him it will lead to resentment on both your parts.